Eternal Sunshine Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 You can't possibly be INFP, we have nothing in common....
Mme. Chaucer Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 You can't possibly be INFP, we have nothing in common.... I doubt you know anything about me.
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 ............................................
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 You would be able to relate to me better if you were INFP.
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 So my new boyf is INTJ (I just made him do the test) T/F is only 1% in favour of T Interesting....
Mme. Chaucer Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 In fact, I believe I relate to you perfectly - you just don't like it. But, we are derailing Panda's thread and that's not cool.
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 In fact, I believe I relate to you perfectly - you just don't like it. But, we are derailing Panda's thread and that's not cool. You still lack empathy when giving me advice. (sorry panda)
Darren Taylor Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 I came back as ISFJ. Same personality type as Jimmy Carter and Jane Fonda.
Thedude22 Posted March 28, 2011 Posted March 28, 2011 HEY! I'm one of these types of guys...would you rather date boring guys who will just talk to you about how your day went and how things are going at work? **** that. We aren't emotional but we want somebody who can make us actually feel something beyond sexual attraction. It's just a matter of if you are up to the challenge or not.
Author pandagirl Posted March 28, 2011 Author Posted March 28, 2011 My last two relationships had been with men who had come on strong and who had professed their love to me within 3 weeks of getting together. While one of those relationships lasted close to 3 years, we struggled with many issues. With hindsight, I have come to think our biggest issue was that we put too much pressure on ourselves too soon. We never really had time to establish a proper communication style, and a middle ground for us. Turns out, communication styles are hard to negotiate once you're already moved in together. Granted, things wouldn't have worked at all with ex and exex had I decided I wanted to take things slow with them. They also needed someone who was going to be committed to them 100% in a matter of weeks. My dysfunctions matched their dysfunctions. Right. Maybe the fact that these men were so willing to commit to us early on made us feel secure, even though there was no real foundation of a relationship? And that eased our insecurities and fears? The type of men that you like DO NOT necessarily have to be "lacking in the emotional department." Certainly, some of them are, but the qualities that you stated you like and being emotionally available do not need to be mutually exclusive. I propose that, for some reason, you actually are picking emotionally unavailable guys. Caveat: Some women seem to expect a level of "emotional availability" that is not realistic for most men, or for most people in general. I am not saying that I think you are one of them. So, you might want to consider that you may be seeking emotionally unavailable men, for some reason. Self-protection? Maybe what you're used to from your family of origin? By the way, I just tested myself for fun - turns out I am INFP today. I agree, they're not mutually exclusive. And who is the common denominator in all these situations? It's me, which is why I'm trying to figure out my patterns, and why I always end up falling for a similar type of man. I'm won't argue and say that I'm *not* emotionally unavailable, because there is a good chance I am. Though I really want intimacy and closeness, maybe I'm just too afraid of it to accept it from someone who can offer it to me? HEY! I'm one of these types of guys...would you rather date boring guys who will just talk to you about how your day went and how things are going at work? **** that. We aren't emotional but we want somebody who can make us actually feel something beyond sexual attraction. It's just a matter of if you are up to the challenge or not. I know I already offer more than sex. These men like me, because I can match them on levels of intelligence, and I can inspire then as they inspire me. I don't want a "boring" guy. But more sexual and intellectual attraction, there has to be emotionally intimacy.
welikeincrowds Posted March 29, 2011 Posted March 29, 2011 You still lack empathy when giving me advice. (sorry panda) Have you ever considered that her advice is particularly pointed because she relates to you? These men like me, because I can match them on levels of intelligence, and I can inspire then as they inspire me. I don't want a "boring" guy. OK, so let's talk about this. When you say you don't want boring, and maybe more emotional, and we're going by MBTI types here, let's narrow it down. Might you mean someone like: Devendra Banhart? (probably ENFP) Viggo Mortensen? (probably ISFP) Clint Eastwood, in chaps? (ISTP) Hugh Laurie as House? (ENTP) Jon Hamm as Don Draper? (ENTJ) Harmony Korine? (probably INFP) Voldemort? (INTJ) Nosferatu the Vampyre? (INFJ) My boss? (INTP) Man, I can probably keep going. I don't know if there's a type that doesn't have an interesting example of a person associated with it.
Author pandagirl Posted March 29, 2011 Author Posted March 29, 2011 OK, so let's talk about this. When you say you don't want boring, and maybe more emotional, and we're going by MBTI types here, let's narrow it down. Might you mean someone like: Devendra Banhart? (probably ENFP) Viggo Mortensen? (probably ISFP) Clint Eastwood, in chaps? (ISTP) Hugh Laurie as House? (ENTP) Jon Hamm as Don Draper? (ENTJ) Harmony Korine? (probably INFP) Voldemort? (INTJ) Nosferatu the Vampyre? (INFJ) My boss? (INTP) Man, I can probably keep going. I don't know if there's a type that doesn't have an interesting example of a person associated with it. No no, my taste in men having nothing to do with MBTI types! I don't judge people by that. That just got pulled into this discussion somehow.
welikeincrowds Posted March 29, 2011 Posted March 29, 2011 No no, my taste in men having nothing to do with MBTI types! I don't judge people by that. That just got pulled into this discussion somehow. That's ok, we're talking about types, it only makes sense. My point is actually that your definition of big personalities and emotional disconnectedness is kind of broad. I brought those different dudes up so I could hopefully get a better idea of what you want, although I don't know if that worked at all If you take any creative talent or immense mind, of any type, you can also imagine that person at some point becoming a distant lover. Either their muse is the world (free spirit), or they have no muse (stoic), or, they just don't even notice (scattered thinker). So, anyway, what are you looking for?
Author pandagirl Posted March 29, 2011 Author Posted March 29, 2011 (edited) That's ok, we're talking about types, it only makes sense. My point is actually that your definition of big personalities and emotional disconnectedness is kind of broad. I brought those different dudes up so I could hopefully get a better idea of what you want, although I don't know if that worked at all If you take any creative talent or immense mind, of any type, you can also imagine that person at some point becoming a distant lover. Either their muse is the world (free spirit), or they have no muse (stoic), or, they just don't even notice (scattered thinker). So, anyway, what are you looking for? I feel stupid and cliche for saying this, but I want someone who inspires me. I find people with brilliant minds who create things very attractive. It's very intoxicating. And it's not so much that I'm attracted to artists, like writers, painters or musicians, I'm more attracted to cerebral men, who use logic, like architects, scientists, graphic designers, industrial designers, etc. I know I'm naming specific things, but just trying to show you the type of person I have historically been attracted to. Also, these men have tended to be intensely focused individuals, who would lose themselves in their work, putting work before the relationship often. I can't really explain why I am. Perhaps it's because I admire them? (Note: I realize that it's kind of dumb to put such an importance on this, when all that really matters is that someone is a good person who treats me well. But, I am trying to figure out why I am prioritizing this, and not other more substantial criteria.) Edited March 29, 2011 by pandagirl
Star Gazer Posted March 29, 2011 Posted March 29, 2011 There's nothing wrong with wanting a partner who you admire, Panda.
welikeincrowds Posted March 29, 2011 Posted March 29, 2011 I can't really explain why I am. Perhaps it's because I admire them? Are these traits you strongly desire not just as an idea, but for yourself? Particularly, that you feel are lacking in yourself?
Author pandagirl Posted March 29, 2011 Author Posted March 29, 2011 Are these traits you strongly desire not just as an idea, but for yourself? Particularly, that you feel are lacking in yourself? I've never aspired to be any of those things. As for lacking in myself, maybe it has something to do with feeling intellectually inferior? Maybe I wish I was more talented? But never in those particular fields I mentions. They're just traits that I admire.
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 29, 2011 Posted March 29, 2011 If you take any creative talent or immense mind, of any type, you can also imagine that person at some point becoming a distant lover. Either their muse is the world (free spirit), or they have no muse (stoic), or, they just don't even notice (scattered thinker). This part is not even making any sense. WTF dude.
Star Gazer Posted March 29, 2011 Posted March 29, 2011 If you take any creative talent or immense mind, of any type, you can also imagine that person at some point becoming a distant lover. Either their muse is the world (free spirit), or they have no muse (stoic), or, they just don't even notice (scattered thinker). Makes perfect sense to me. I'm starting to realize I just might be a badge bunny. What does that say about me?
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 29, 2011 Posted March 29, 2011 Makes perfect sense to me. I'm starting to realize I just might be a badge bunny. What does that say about me? OK, explain it to me then. Go ahead
Author pandagirl Posted March 29, 2011 Author Posted March 29, 2011 This part is not even making any sense. WTF dude. What he's saying is it is a gift that certain people have a special talent, and even more of a gift when that person decides to use it to its fullest ability. So their work -- whatever it is -- becomes the focus of their life. This is why many artists, successful business men/women, etc. tend to be incredibly fruitful in their work, but often times not in their relationships, because the other person in the relationship will have to take a back seat to whatever this person is focused on. There is a lot of ego involved.
Star Gazer Posted March 29, 2011 Posted March 29, 2011 What he's saying is it is a gift that certain people have a special talent, and even more of a gift when that person decides to use it to its fullest ability. So their work -- whatever it is -- becomes the focus of their life. This is why many artists, successful business men/women, etc. tend to be incredibly fruitful in their work, but often times not in their relationships, because the other person in the relationship will have to take a back seat to whatever this person is focused on. There is a lot of ego involved. Yup, exactly right.
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