Patterns of Women Cheating

[fltc]

Interestingly, all this website is is an advertisement for a book. So we don't even get to really consider why she came to the conclusions she did until we buy the book.

 

Try posting a site with information that will actually back the claims she makes in this ad, and I might find it something worth thinking about.

 

Maybe someone here will buy the book and post parts of it? So who's going to buy it? I vote for the OP! <G>

[Woggle]

Maybe someone here will buy the book and post parts of it? So who's going to buy it? I vote for the OP! <G>

 

There are places online where you can read it for free. I read the entire thing in one sitting.

[paddington bear]

If new women don't want to be the bad guy then how come my friend was cheated on by three women in a row? Right now he pretty much hates women and enjoys being a player.

 

My wife does not cheat on me and I am finally trusting her but experiencing this thing and hearing what a good portion of women really think about men really makes a man untrusting towards the female gender.

 

Dear God, three times in a row?! The poor b*****d.

 

I read a lot on threads here about how guys are mistrustful of these hot party girls in clubs. Unsurprisingly. If I were a guy, I would be mistrustful of them too.

 

I think there are two types of women in the world.

 

1) those that are well aware of their power over men and use it to their utmost advantage. Relationships and sex are not about love, but power and perhaps these women are somehow messed up. The type who underneath it all have issues and use sex and attention to make themselves feel wanted. Or maybe they genuinely just don't give a toss. Either way, I'm sure there must be signals there? I don't know. I'm a woman. However, I've seen more men slavering over some obvious bitch who will break their heart, because they are not thinking rationally. "She's hot, I want her". Then she does break his heart and he wonders what went wrong. Lust overtook rationality.

 

2) the other kind of women who don't feel like they have some seductive power over men, who don't use their sexuality as a weapon, as a power game. Who genuinely want a relationship, drama-free.

 

As I said, I'm not a guy, so this is all wishy-washy theory on my part, but you've got to look at the type of women that for example your friend Woggle, was going for. Men can get totally blinded by certain women, will defend them up to the hilt, when it is perfectly obvious to other, normal women that she's going to screw him over.

[Woggle]

A lot of women act the same way with hot players as well. They lose all sense when it comes to these guys.

[stillafool]

And it's probably not the WOMEN who cheat who are being cheated on either!

 

Look - YOU are the one who started this, yet again, nasty thread villifying women. So why are you posing the question that if some men cheat does it make it okay for women to cheat? NOBODY STARTED A THREAD THAT SAYS SINCE MEN CHEAT IT'S OKAY FOR WOMEN TO DO SO!!!

 

Please - STOP with the anti-woman anti-American woman BS. It is disgusting and sickens me.

 

Now if you want to start a thread about PEOPLE who do thus and such and discuss that, fine. I'm all about PEOPLE not doing bad things to OTHER PEOPLE.

 

Whew. That felt good.

 

 

I know. It makes you wonder why a person who hates women so much (especially American women) continues to even think about them, much less waste their time writing and starting threads about them all the time. How bitter can one be?

[sally4sara]

I get so tired of the over used quote about women being the ones to initiate divorce 75% of the time and men only do it when the woman cheats.

 

Its such crap. My mother never cheated. Yes she initiated the divorce proceedings for my father and my brother's father - after they each walked out the door thinking that was all that goes into ending a marriage! And she can't stand the feminist movement!

My father has been divorced 5 TIMES! He never initiated a single one of those divorces. He just picks up and leaves knowing they'll sort it out in his absence.

Yes, I initiated the divorce proceedings for my first marriage. He walked and we'd still be legally married if I hadn't.

I have a friend who has been separated from her husband for 9 years and has no idea where he is. She's going to have to file too if she ever wants to cut that legal tie or get remarried. He sure seems content with letting it stand as is.

 

That 75% never seems to take into consideration that men often don't file even when they initiate the split because who files first takes on legal expenses the one who waits gets to avoid. It helps legitimize the sob story they tell their family and friends when the relationship ends. It hides the OW waiting in the wings if they appear to have the divorce forced on them.

 

And the same people who hold this statistic up despite all of the above, are also the ones who say statistics showing more men cheat than women are not reliable statistics! Either you bank on statistics or you don't. Only giving credibility to the ones that support your salty sorry claims is lame as hell and transparent to boot.

They're also the same men who go on and on about how unfair the divorce proceedings are to men. Yet it never dawns on them that the disparity in who files is largely due to men not wanting to deal with the process until they absolutely have to. Once they say they're done and step out the door, its in their best interest to do nothing further, waiting for the wife to get tired of the stagnant situation.

 

That's why when men do file, its due to their wife's infidelity. They've no need for a sob story to hold on to their family's support. They don't have to direct attention from a mistress in wait. And they're so angry they stop caring about their wallet.

[Spark1111]

I quoted that statistic because I have seen it used often and believe it to be accurate. If that is not the case, I would actually appreciate you providing me with something that is more correct.

 

70 to 75% of all divorces are TODAY initiated by women and the cause cited as the number one reason is: NEGLECT!

 

So a man can be a lying POS, a drug addict, gambler, cheater, but as long as he is emotionally attentive to a woman, she will not divorce him.

 

But if he gets busy with the remote, the guys, the sports, stops dating her, complimenting her, takes her for granted, ignores her needs for romance and appreciation... and she earns her own dime....yeah, he is at risk.

 

It is called the Walkaway wife syndrome and sociologists are studying it. As women gain financial independence, they are tolerating less and wanting more.

 

They are seeking equal power with men who have often been the majority power holders in society.

 

So yes, the roles of women are changing and they are cheating in greater numbers....not as great as men do...but they are cathcing up.

 

What is good for the gander is becoming as good for the goose.

 

Why does this surprise anyone?

[SteveC80]

women are controlled by hormones as much if not more then men

 

If u see how even married women act around well built sucesful powerful guys its even creepier then guys act

Edited January 21, 2011 by SteveC80

[Spark1111]

PS: What sociologists are discovering, THE BACK story to this phenomenon, is that women will nag, nag, nag to get their romantic needs met.

 

Guys only hear that she is unhappy with them and either grow argumentative or withdraw.

 

Then, she stops whining and his reaction is, "Whew! She's finally happy with "us."

 

Big mistake. When she stops nagging to have her needs met, she is mentally packing a bag.

 

Women need to be emotionally, romantically engaged with their partner to desire him and the relationship.

 

Men need to be admired, respected and physically intimate to have romantic feelings.

 

Mars vrs. Venus.

[Spark1111]

women are controlled by hormones as much if not more then men

 

If u see how even married women act around well built sucesful powerful guys its even creepier then guys act

 

Absolutely no creepier than married men around young, scantily clad women.

[xxoo]

My wife does not cheat on me and I am finally trusting her but experiencing this thing and hearing what a good portion of women really think about men really makes a man untrusting towards the female gender.

 

That's great to read, Woggle.

 

Here's hoping that the OP can progress to a place of peace and trust in a good woman, too.

 

UF, all of this focus on the worst of American women is going to prevent you from experiencing the best!

[Spark1111]

Dear God, three times in a row?! The poor b*****d.

 

I read a lot on threads here about how guys are mistrustful of these hot party girls in clubs. Unsurprisingly. If I were a guy, I would be mistrustful of them too.

 

I think there are two types of women in the world.

 

1) those that are well aware of their power over men and use it to their utmost advantage. Relationships and sex are not about love, but power and perhaps these women are somehow messed up. The type who underneath it all have issues and use sex and attention to make themselves feel wanted. Or maybe they genuinely just don't give a toss. Either way, I'm sure there must be signals there? I don't know. I'm a woman. However, I've seen more men slavering over some obvious bitch who will break their heart, because they are not thinking rationally. "She's hot, I want her". Then she does break his heart and he wonders what went wrong. Lust overtook rationality.

 

2) the other kind of women who don't feel like they have some seductive power over men, who don't use their sexuality as a weapon, as a power game. Who genuinely want a relationship, drama-free.

 

As I said, I'm not a guy, so this is all wishy-washy theory on my part, but you've got to look at the type of women that for example your friend Woggle, was going for. Men can get totally blinded by certain women, will defend them up to the hilt, when it is perfectly obvious to other, normal women that she's going to screw him over.

 

Excellent insight!

 

Women who use sex as their most powerful weapon realize two things:

 

It can attract and manipulate men very easily, and

 

that might be as good as it gets for these women because they lack self-esteem and confidence.

 

Same as men who use their money and status to attract women and friends.

 

Different sides of the same coin: a lack within.

[Duckduckgoose]

I am a 27 year old woman, soon to be divorced. I would never cheat. I would get out of a relationship before I would cheat. I would kill myself if to avoid cheating if I had to. I would NEVER put that kind of pain on someone else.

 

Not only that, but I would have to live with myself and what I did the rest of my life. Cheating is just not worth it for some sex and drama, when it rips someone you care about apart, and damages your own self-worth and integrity in the process.

[SouthernSunshine]

Cheating is just not worth it for some sex and drama, when it rips someone you care about apart, and damages your own self-worth and integrity in the process.

 

Wow, very wise words! Wish I would have listened before I cheated. You're completely right. It did nothing but damage everyone around me including myself. Nobody wins.

[bentnotbroken]

IMO cheating has nothing to do with gender.

It has everything to do with lack of character.

 

Both sexes are guilty of this.

 

 

Amen! Say it again!

[Woggle]

7

What is good for the gander is becoming as good for the goose.

 

 

This is the mentality that makes my blood boil. This is the exact thing that was said to me when my ex cheated on me. Until my first divorce I have always treated women with respect and was faithful to every woman I was with. Today I am still faithful yet because I am a man I deserve to be cheated on? People tell me all the time to not judge all women based on my experiences but very rarely have women ever afforded me the same courtesy. I was always the punching bag because some other man did wrong but let me admit that I mistrust women and all of a sudden I am wrong. I am supposed to show the courtesy that was never shown to me.

[bentnotbroken]

This is the mentality that makes my blood boil. This is the exact thing that was said to me when my ex cheated on me. Until my first divorce I have always treated women with respect and was faithful to every woman I was with. Today I am still faithful yet because I am a man I deserve to be cheated on? People tell me all the time to not judge all women based on my experiences but very rarely have women ever afforded me the same courtesy. I was always the punching bag because some other man did wrong but let me admit that I mistrust women and all of a sudden I am wrong. I am supposed to show the courtesy that was never shown to me.

 

 

Wogs, breath. You didn't deserve to be cheated on. No one does. Don't always look at the trifling women, look at those of us who didn't cheat, wouldn't cheat and find it abhorrent no matter what gender does it. There is never a reason, only excuses. Sparks comment about the goose and gander was not intended for men who live with integrity and don't cheat. She was just pointing out that those men without integrity seem surprised when women play the same sick games. Unfortunately good guys end up being the victims. Wouldn't be great if cheaters could only cheat on cheaters and leave the rest of us out of the mess.

[Distant78]

70 to 75% of all divorces are TODAY initiated by women and the cause cited as the number one reason is: NEGLECT!

 

So a man can be a lying POS, a drug addict, gambler, cheater, but as long as he is emotionally attentive to a woman, she will not divorce him.

 

But if he gets busy with the remote, the guys, the sports, stops dating her, complimenting her, takes her for granted, ignores her needs for romance and appreciation... and she earns her own dime....yeah, he is at risk.

 

It is called the Walkaway wife syndrome and sociologists are studying it. As women gain financial independence, they are tolerating less and wanting more.

 

They are seeking equal power with men who have often been the majority power holders in society.

 

So yes, the roles of women are changing and they are cheating in greater numbers....not as great as men do...but they are cathcing up.

 

What is good for the gander is becoming as good for the goose.

 

Why does this surprise anyone?

 

^^^^^

This is the type of mentality that makes men afraid to even marry a woman. They walk away when we tell them their sh*t stinks too once in a while.

 

All stereotypical misdirecting, biased, feminist information. The stereotype that states that men are primary in infidelity is complete bs. Women aren't cheating in greater numbers, it's just their sexual indiscretions are being exposed more. Women gaining more jobs has nothing to do with them "tolerating less crap." It all has to do with them finally getting off their asses and finding a damn job instead of yelling at their kids to do their homework, while painting their ugly toes.

[wheelwright]

Exert from a book written on this topic.

 

Remember that 70-75% of divorces are initiated by women and that a good chunk of those initiated by men is caused by their wives cheating!

 

I've recently been trying to help my cousin deal with his GF cheating on him. Our Brazilian friend Rick basically just scratched his head and said in his country it is well known that "American women are good for sex, and bad for love." Which is suppose is somewhat true considering the % of relationships that fail before finding marriage material.

 

Anyway... Here is part of what this book says.

 

 

"Women's relationships today follow

a very predictable pattern:

They push men for commitment

They get what they want

They lose interest in sex

They become attracted to someone else

They start cheating

They become angry and resentful

They begin telling their partners that they need time apart

They blame their partners for their behavior...and eventually, after making themselves and everyone around them miserable for an indefinite, but usually, long period of time, they end their relationships or marriages.

 

If you're a male, like most other males, you would probably never suspect that your partner is cheating, not only because of your wife’s or girlfriend’s seeming disinterest in sex; but also because you have the belief that your wife or girlfriend is a “good girl.” Unfortunately, males are frequently left/divorced by their wives and girlfriends without ever knowing about their wives' and girlfriends' infidelities.

If you’re a female, like most other females, prior to cheating on your partner you always proclaimed yourself to be "not the type" who would ever cheat. However, also like most other females, after they have cheated, you're shocked and appalled by your behavior; but at the same time you can't stop cheating. "

 

How bizarre!

 

Anyway, honest people tell. I guess. I don't think women or men are any the worse.

[Woggle]

Wogs, breath. You didn't deserve to be cheated on. No one does. Don't always look at the trifling women, look at those of us who didn't cheat, wouldn't cheat and find it abhorrent no matter what gender does it. There is never a reason, only excuses. Sparks comment about the goose and gander was not intended for men who live with integrity and don't cheat. She was just pointing out that those men without integrity seem surprised when women play the same sick games. Unfortunately good guys end up being the victims. Wouldn't be great if cheaters could only cheat on cheaters and leave the rest of us out of the mess.

 

Yes it would be great but you don't know how many times I have been told I deserved it. This is why in that other thread I am rooting for that guy to half of his wife's lottery money. What's good for the gander is good for the goose right?

 

It makes me just want to say the hell with it and cross over to the dark side and be a jerk. If I never met my wife I probably would have already.

[Spark1111]

This is the mentality that makes my blood boil. This is the exact thing that was said to me when my ex cheated on me. Until my first divorce I have always treated women with respect and was faithful to every woman I was with. Today I am still faithful yet because I am a man I deserve to be cheated on? People tell me all the time to not judge all women based on my experiences but very rarely have women ever afforded me the same courtesy. I was always the punching bag because some other man did wrong but let me admit that I mistrust women and all of a sudden I am wrong. I am supposed to show the courtesy that was never shown to me.

 

NO one deserves to be cheated on! There is no justification for cheating, ever! It is the most painful experience a person could ever be subjected to!

 

I still show courtesy because I am a courteous person. No one, not a cheater, not the experience of infidelity will ever force me to be a lesser person.

 

If that happens, the affair won; the cheater won; the anger and bitterness won; the pain won.

 

And I am better and stronger than that. So are you.

[Spark1111]

^^^^^

This is the type of mentality that makes men afraid to even marry a woman. They walk away when we tell them their sh*t stinks too once in a while.

 

All stereotypical misdirecting, biased, feminist information. The stereotype that states that men are primary in infidelity is complete bs. Women aren't cheating in greater numbers, it's just their sexual indiscretions are being exposed more. Women gaining more jobs has nothing to do with them "tolerating less crap." It all has to do with them finally getting off their asses and finding a damn job instead of yelling at their kids to do their homework, while painting their ugly toes.

 

No, it is not from feminists. It is from sociologists, psychologists, and anthropologists.

 

The role of women is changing. The experts want to understand why. I like to understand the "why" of things, too.

 

About 65% of men admit to being unfaithful at least once in the course of their marriage. That stat has remained constant for many,many years.

 

It use to be 13% of women, but in recent years, has jumped to 27%. That is a signifigant jump and it is being studied....

 

along with the staggering increase of women filing for divorce. The number one reason they cited was NOT cheating, but emotional neglect.

 

This is NOT being touted by the feminists. This is the social scientists studying these changes.

[Woggle]

NO one deserves to be cheated on! There is no justification for cheating, ever! It is the most painful experience a person could ever be subjected to!

 

I still show courtesy because I am a courteous person. No one, not a cheater, not the experience of infidelity will ever force me to be a lesser person.

 

If that happens, the affair won; the cheater won; the anger and bitterness won; the pain won.

 

And I am better and stronger than that. So are you.

 

Maybe I misunderstood you but I admit that goose and gander line really gets to me because that is what I was told after I was cheated on. You made it sound like you were endorsing female cheating but I apologize if I was wrong.

[Distant78]

No, it is not from feminists. It is from sociologists, psychologists, and anthropologists.

 

The role of women is changing. The experts want to understand why. I like to understand the "why" of things, too.

 

About 65% of men admit to being unfaithful at least once in the course of their marriage. That stat has remained constant for many,many years.

 

It use to be 13% of women, but in recent years, has jumped to 27%. That is a signifigant jump and it is being studied....

 

along with the staggering increase of women filing for divorce. The number one reason they cited was NOT cheating, but emotional neglect.

 

This is NOT being touted by the feminists. This is the social scientists studying these changes.

 

Just 27%?

[bentnotbroken]

Yes it would be great but you don't know how many times I have been told I deserved it. This is why in that other thread I am rooting for that guy to half of his wife's lottery money. What's good for the gander is good for the goose right?

 

It makes me just want to say the hell with it and cross over to the dark side and be a jerk. If I never met my wife I probably would have already.

Whoever told you that was a donkey's behind. You know you aren't the only one. It has been said more than once in the OW/OM forum that that they understand why the "bitter" people:rolleyes: got cheated on. The implication is that someone deserved it. And if the lottery money was won during the marriage, it should he is entitled to his share.