Author SadandConfusedWA Posted September 27, 2010 Author Posted September 27, 2010 LOVE IT!!! Sorry... when you put it that way....
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted September 27, 2010 Author Posted September 27, 2010 Sad and Confused, I wonder if this guy even knows you are worrying about him like this? Men sometimes don't make things so complicated and I wonder if some even realize how some girls worry themselves almost to death trying to evaluate his interest. He sounds very active, with surfing and friends and there's more to his life than just dating, so I don't think he's worried about your interest nor do I think he knows you're worried about his interest. Of course he doesn't know. I am pretty cool around him. I am sure that if he knew, he would drop me in about 2 seconds flat.
coloredinks Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 My old account has been disabled (my doing). I've decided to start a clean slate with this one. Shadow was too depressing a username and had a long depressing thread history.
elaina Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 Of course he doesn't know. I am pretty cool around him. I am sure that if he knew, he would drop me in about 2 seconds flat. I'm glad you're cool around him, but I wish you could tell him that you worry about if he likes you when you don't hear from him as much as you would like, but yeah that probably isn't a good idea to tell him yet. I don't really understand why he would drop you if he knew that you were worried about him liking you or not, but then, I don't know him so... HA - rather than testing him to see how interested he is by his willingness to plan the date, I just went with what I want to do. There is an exhibition on right now that I wanted to see so I just texted him "I want to see X exhibition - can you meet me there at 5:30pm?" and he responded with "Yeah, sounds great! See you there SAC :)" Yeah Awesome way to go!!! You are being yourself!!! I hope you have a great time with him!!!
SilentVoice Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 Shadow and SACWA, you two are terrible for each other. Exactly!......
USMCHokie Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 His approach has been perfect from the get go. He even CALLS to set dates! :love: :love: Every great girl deserves a Hokie. You girls will find a Hokie of your own someday...if you can STOP OBSESSING!! Awww, shucks, you're pretty awesome too...I hope this wasn't just the alcohol talking...
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted September 27, 2010 Author Posted September 27, 2010 My old account has been disabled (my doing). I've decided to start a clean slate with this one. Shadow was too depressing a username and had a long depressing thread history. Really? This is you shadow? I hate my username too, it's depressing as hell. I think I will start a new account too.
coloredinks Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 Really? This is you shadow? I hate my username too, it's depressing as hell. I think I will start a new account too. Haha, yes. How did the date go???
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted September 27, 2010 Author Posted September 27, 2010 Haha, yes. How did the date go??? It's later today....
Cee Posted September 28, 2010 Posted September 28, 2010 Haha, I checked this thread this thread before work & now after work and I discover... Shadow is now Color I didn't read through all the posts because I can't handle processing & speculation talk. I only want to hear about events transpiring such as date, nookie, argument, cancel call, etc. Give me more action, even stuff not related to dating at all. Like you ran 5 miles or found a new shade of lipstick. But I love the new look. I think I should get a splashy avatar. Now that I've ceased dating, my life has become so much more fun. I've got wall to wall social events this week.
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted September 28, 2010 Author Posted September 28, 2010 Hey... I'm from WA too. Wanna go on a date with me so that I can post a thread about you?
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted September 28, 2010 Author Posted September 28, 2010 Ugh. I am supposed to meet him in 3 hours but I am feeling really sick. I started getting a sore throat last night which I didn't think much of. Today at work it has been getting a lot worse. I also feel really tired and like I am getting a fever I think that I should cancel and offer weekend re-schedule. However, I am concerned as our connection is not particularly strong at the moment so I feel like my cancelation will be the final nail in the coffin. On the other hand, if I force myself to go despite feeling sick - I am not gonig to be much fun and I wouldn't be able to kiss him. What do you think?
tigressA Posted September 28, 2010 Posted September 28, 2010 Excuses, excuses. Seriously, Star? She said she's feeling really sick. If I were in her position I'd consider not going too. I went on a date once when I had a really horrid cold that developed literally the night before the date, and throughout the day I felt more and more miserable. Sure I ended up dating him for a few months, but I wouldn't ever go out in that condition again. Why compromise your health for a date? If she overexerts herself then she could get even sicker, and she could get the guy sick too.
Star Gazer Posted September 28, 2010 Posted September 28, 2010 Seriously, Star? She said she's feeling really sick. Straight up, Tigress... I don't believe her. I'd bet good money that she's looking for an out, because she's convinced herself (without any evidence) that he's not all that interested in her. It's preemptive rejection, another one of her coping mechanisms.
make me believe Posted September 28, 2010 Posted September 28, 2010 I agree with Star. I don't think that SAC is sick, I think she wants to text him and tell him that she's sick so that she can judge his response and obsess about it later. And if he doesn't give her the exact response she wants, she will use it as another reason to convince herself that he's not interested and this cycle can just go on and on and on and she can get all the LS attention that she craves.
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted September 28, 2010 Author Posted September 28, 2010 Why would I want LS attention? Honestly, I would rather that my life is sorted.. I am truly sick and I did end up canceling and switching off my phone because I don't want to wait for a response and obsess over it. If this is the end, so be it. But yeah, it's probably unproductive to post about this anymore so I will stop.
Ariadne Posted September 28, 2010 Posted September 28, 2010 Why would I want LS attention? Honestly, I would rather that my life is sorted.. I am truly sick and I did end up canceling and switching off my phone because I don't want to wait for a response and obsess over it. If this is the end, so be it. But yeah, it's probably unproductive to post about this anymore so I will stop. (You give people too much importance) Btw, are you still up for the date with the politician guy for this weekend?
make me believe Posted September 28, 2010 Posted September 28, 2010 Why would I want LS attention? Honestly, I would rather that my life is sorted.. I'm sorry that you're truly sick. I was basing my comment off of the number of topics and comments that you've posted obsessing about every little thing this guy says, convincing yourself that he (or any other guy) couldn't possibly be interested in you, etc. Honestly, it just seemed like another cry for attention. Another wrench to throw into the situation to keep the 'drama' going.
Cee Posted September 28, 2010 Posted September 28, 2010 I'm sorry that you're truly sick. I was basing my comment off of the number of topics and comments that you've posted obsessing about every little thing this guy says, convincing yourself that he (or any other guy) couldn't possibly be interested in you, etc. Honestly, it just seemed like another cry for attention. Another wrench to throw into the situation to keep the 'drama' going. I think the only drama going on is within this thread. As I understand it, SAC has gone on three dates (or two? I lost track). And the guy had a great time at the beach with his friends. As I can recall, the dates were pleasant. All of the discussion of the "psychology" of the situation has generated a lot of discussion. It isn't drama at all. We are passing time on a discussion board.
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted September 28, 2010 Author Posted September 28, 2010 Cee it was 3 dates. Anyway I texted him that I was sick and told him to let me know if we can reschedule for Friday or Saturday. He responded with "No worries, I hope you feel better soon" He didn't really respond to Fri/Sat part. My plan is that if I don't hear from him again to just text him on Friday and ask him if he wants to do something on Saturday night (just in case he thinks that I am not interested because I canceled today).... If he says that he is busy or offers some vague answer - that's it then, game over. Should I even do that? Or should I just move on now if I don't hear from him again?
carhill Posted September 28, 2010 Posted September 28, 2010 You canceled your date due to illness. Good on ya for that. Now, next, specifically reschedule your date as soon as you feel better. Don't expect contact from him. He might text a 'hope you're feeling better' or such if he's a good guy. You *call* him and specifically ask him if he can go out for xxxx on xxxx night. This is the reverse of a guy asking a lady out. If your interest is sufficient, you will do this. Since your illness is the only thing which precluded you from going out with him today, I'm sure this will be no issue. Hope things go well!
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted September 28, 2010 Author Posted September 28, 2010 You canceled your date due to illness. Good on ya for that. Now, next, specifically reschedule your date as soon as you feel better. Don't expect contact from him. He might text a 'hope you're feeling better' or such if he's a good guy. You *call* him and specifically ask him if he can go out for xxxx on xxxx night. This is the reverse of a guy asking a lady out. If your interest is sufficient, you will do this. Since your illness is the only thing which precluded you from going out with him today, I'm sure this will be no issue. Hope things go well! Thanks carhill. I am going to give myself a bit of a break over the next few days. I have taken time of work too as I am not feeling good at all. I will see how I feel emotionally when I am physically better. If I still feel like I want to see him again, I will attempt to schedule a date. If he has moved on by then, I will too.
carhill Posted September 28, 2010 Posted September 28, 2010 Yes, dating should be fun. Wait until you are fully recovered (illnesses, even colds, can be debilitating emotionally) and then re-visit the dating dynamic. My belief is that, if the mutual interest is there, things like this are really just blips of time. You're on each other's minds, even if not in contact, and 'getting to know each other' continues when you're both feeling up to par. IMO, this is a bit different dynamic than that of committed and married couples, where we see each other at our best and at our worst, already having the commitment and investment of love. I formerly had some unhealthy boundaries in that area, being too 'familiar' with women I dated and wanting to 'take care of them' when they were sick. I can only imagine how you'd feel about that It'll all work out, one way or another....
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