coloredinks Posted September 28, 2010 Posted September 28, 2010 (edited) I think my craziness in this situation is stemming from his hotness. I've never had a guy who is exactly my type be at all interested in me. It's freaking me out, like reality has to catch up eventually. I'm incredibly intimidated by him. I mean he's so confident and popular. He's the type of guy who everybody looks at when he enters a room. Why would he be interested in somebody shy, weird and insecure? The only explanation is that he has no freakin' clue how insecure I am. Maybe he even mistakes my quietness for aloof confidence. But he'll figure it out soon enough. I feel like I have to keep it contained, but it's only a matter of time. I can't deal with this. I'm going to explode from nerves. Edited September 28, 2010 by coloredinks
welikeincrowds Posted September 28, 2010 Posted September 28, 2010 Ugh, what's wrong with me. I felt excited and then I promptly went to the bathroom to try to purge a candy bar I ate earlier. I've NEVER tried to purge in my life, but I feel too fat for tomorrow Didn't end up purging though. It didn't work and my girl roommate was in the next room, and I didn't want her to hear me and report back to him. I don't mean to laugh at your plight, but I must admit, I lol'd. This is just the most ridiculous comedy of mental health errors. You really need to be seeing a therapist.
Kamille Posted September 28, 2010 Posted September 28, 2010 Ugh, what's wrong with me. I felt excited and then I promptly went to the bathroom to try to purge a candy bar I ate earlier. I've NEVER tried to purge in my life, but I feel too fat for tomorrow Didn't end up purging though. It didn't work and my girl roommate was in the next room, and I didn't want her to hear me and report back to him. What??? You don't believe you're good enough for this guy as you currently are. You're purging and dieting as a way to try to make yourself worthy. What else could you do that would be more effective at making you feel like a lovely, charming, interesting human being?
coloredinks Posted September 28, 2010 Posted September 28, 2010 I don't mean to laugh at your plight, but I must admit, I lol'd. This is just the most ridiculous comedy of mental health errors. You really need to be seeing a therapist. I already am! Ugh, she doesn't help. I think she has no clue how crazy I am. It's like every time I go to her office, I forget all of the anxieties and insecurities that consume me over the week, and I have trouble conveying them to her.
coloredinks Posted September 28, 2010 Posted September 28, 2010 What??? You don't believe you're good enough for this guy as you currently are. You're purging and dieting as a way to try to make yourself worthy. What else could you do that would be more effective at making you feel like a lovely, charming, interesting human being? Probably work on my thesis tonight and maybe draw. That always helps a little.
welikeincrowds Posted September 28, 2010 Posted September 28, 2010 I already am! Ugh, she doesn't help. I think she has no clue how crazy I am. It's like every time I go to her office, I forget all of the anxieties and insecurities that consume me over the week, and I have trouble conveying them to her. That's easy. Keep a journal. Better yet, show her your posts on LS. Hi shadow's therapist!
coloredinks Posted September 28, 2010 Posted September 28, 2010 Hi shadow's therapist! Hahahahahah! LMAO That was cute
Kamille Posted September 28, 2010 Posted September 28, 2010 I think my craziness in this situation is stemming from his hotness. I've never had a guy who is exactly my type be at all interested in me. It's freaking me out, like reality has to catch up eventually. I'm incredibly intimidated by him. I mean he's so confident and popular. He's the type of guy who everybody looks at when he enters a room. Why would he be interested in somebody shy, weird and insecure? The only explanation is that he has no freakin' clue how insecure I am. Maybe he even mistakes my quietness for aloof confidence. But he'll figure it out soon enough. I feel like I have to keep it contained, but it's only a matter of time. I can't deal with this. I'm going to explode from nerves. Listen, I understand this. I used to worry that guys I dated who said they found me beautiful would somehow realize that I was ugly. I have idealized guys and thought them too good for me. Now, you've stated your fear and the worst-case scenario: the worst-case scenario is that he will come to the conclusion that you two aren't compatible. You're already preemptively twisting it around so as to internalize it as a comment on your own self-worth. Do you notice yourself doing that? Now, stop disqualifying yourself and start doing things that make you feel good about yourself.
coloredinks Posted September 28, 2010 Posted September 28, 2010 (edited) Kamille, see the thing is I don't even think I"m so afraid of him rejecting me. I can handle that. I also don't think I'll internalize it. It's more anticipating myself cringing at the moments when we're out together and I do something stupid or reveal my insecurities. I've always been somebody deathly afraid of embarrassment, and I feel like this "date" is a perfect opportunity for me to make a fool of myself. Especially becaus ehis friends will be along, witness to my mishaps. I feel like nerd girl on a date with Mr. Popular. Edited September 28, 2010 by coloredinks
Kamille Posted September 28, 2010 Posted September 28, 2010 I feel like nerd girl on a date with Mr. Popular. Then be a nerd girl out on a date with Mr. Popular. I love that idea. Be yourself, allow yourself to show your vulnerabilities. Laugh about them in a sweet way. Be shy if you feel shy and be cute about it. Be endearing. I know you have it in you.
coloredinks Posted September 28, 2010 Posted September 28, 2010 Then be a nerd girl out on a date with Mr. Popular. I love that idea. Be yourself, allow yourself to show your vulnerabilities. Laugh about them in a sweet way. Be shy if you feel shy and be cute about it. Be endearing. I know you have it in you. Thanks. I need a Kamille filter installed in my brain. You have such a lovely way of seeing the world.
Kamille Posted September 28, 2010 Posted September 28, 2010 Thanks. I need a Kamille filter installed in my brain. You have such a lovely way of seeing the world. Ah thanks! Years of battling bullying-induced anxiety have turned me into my own best life coach. But all I'm saying in the previous post is: find ways to accept yourself for who you are. Accept that you don't have to behave perfectly at all times to deserve respect. Accept that everyone makes mistakes, yourself included. Allow them. Learn to find the humor in them. People are drawn to people who can gracefully laugh at their own mistakes.
Star Gazer Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 I think my craziness in this situation is stemming from his hotness. You're somewhat implying that he's responsible for your issues... ??
coloredinks Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 You're somewhat implying that he's responsible for your issues... ?? Lol, I knew somebody would say that. No, I'm not. Just that the extremity of my anxiety, compared to how I usually feel before dates, is mostly related to his desirability.
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