florence of suburbia Posted September 13, 2010 Share Posted September 13, 2010 Yep, I think it's pretty lame, honestly. It doesn't relaly make any sense. I don't know...this is usually what happens with me when I get all worked up about something with a man...I find out that while I've been hand-wringing, he's been happy and oblivious. Best for us to be happy and oblivious first, to get the jump on them. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted September 13, 2010 Share Posted September 13, 2010 you mean him being in a coma would be the only reasonable thing? No, him making up some bullsh*t reason explaining why he couldn't even reply back to you with a simple text message is the only reasonable thing... The coma excuse would have been awesome though... Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted September 13, 2010 Share Posted September 13, 2010 Yep, I think it's pretty lame, honestly. It doesn't relaly make any sense. Totally lame. See, that's the sort of response that gives you no answers to your questions and doesn't calm your fears, but will keep you strung along. He totally avoided your hurt and vulnerable comments. Busy weekend? He didn't have 5 seconds to text back? Even when he was taking a sh*t? Link to post Share on other sites
Author shadowplay Posted September 13, 2010 Author Share Posted September 13, 2010 -------------- Link to post Share on other sites
Author shadowplay Posted September 13, 2010 Author Share Posted September 13, 2010 now my roomies are having loud makeup sex upstairs. God, I'll never get to sleep. Link to post Share on other sites
elaina Posted September 13, 2010 Share Posted September 13, 2010 Lol! you guys aren't goin gto believe this, here's what he wrote: hey, sorry i've been awol. it's been a busy weekend i had a nice time too; if you want to get together again just let me know when/where! No way!!! Men are so mysterious! So what do you want to do Shadow? Do you want to get together with him again? Or are you ok with moving on and letting him go, since he didn't contact you for a "long" time and you went through this painful emotional roller coaster? Just please whatever you do, don't let any guy have power over how you view yourself. Repeat after me, "I'm beautiful and intelligent and multi-talented, and I will enjoy life with or without a guy, and I don't need to be afraid about if some guy likes me or not. I just need to be myself and have fun!" Link to post Share on other sites
SpanksTheMonkey Posted September 13, 2010 Share Posted September 13, 2010 Lol! you guys aren't goin gto believe this, here's what he wrote: hey, sorry i've been awol. it's been a busy weekend i had a nice time too; if you want to get together again just let me know when/where! Translation thanks for the sex it wasn't that great so I haven't bothered to get back to you BUT maybe next time would be better neva know! So congrats I've decided I'll let you be on my back burner as a booty call... Seriously shadow you so need to just delete every thing of him and move on.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shadowplay Posted September 13, 2010 Author Share Posted September 13, 2010 No way!!! Men are so mysterious! So what do you want to do Shadow? Do you want to get together with him again? Or are you ok with moving on and letting him go, since he didn't contact you for a "long" time and you went through this painful emotional roller coaster? Just please whatever you do, don't let any guy have power over how you view yourself. Repeat after me, "I'm beautiful and intelligent and multi-talented, and I will enjoy life with or without a guy, and I don't need to be afraid about if some guy likes me or not. I just need to be myself and have fun!" Ugh, even though what he did was lame, I think I like him too much to not see him at least one more time. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted September 13, 2010 Share Posted September 13, 2010 Translation thanks for the sex it wasn't that great so I haven't bothered to get back to you BUT maybe next time would be better neva know! So congrats I've decided I'll let you be on my back burner as a booty call... Seriously shadow you so need to just delete every thing of him and move on.. Agreed. There is nothing about this guy's behavior that would show that he's interested in anything more... LAUNCH. Link to post Share on other sites
florence of suburbia Posted September 13, 2010 Share Posted September 13, 2010 Another good excuse would be if he really does have Aspberger's. Maybe all men have it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shadowplay Posted September 13, 2010 Author Share Posted September 13, 2010 Translation thanks for the sex it wasn't that great so I haven't bothered to get back to you BUT maybe next time would be better neva know! So congrats I've decided I'll let you be on my back burner as a booty call... Seriously shadow you so need to just delete every thing of him and move on.. ugh, yeah you guys are probably right. Link to post Share on other sites
elaina Posted September 13, 2010 Share Posted September 13, 2010 Translation thanks for the sex it wasn't that great so I haven't bothered to get back to you BUT maybe next time would be better neva know! So congrats I've decided I'll let you be on my back burner as a booty call... Seriously shadow you so need to just delete every thing of him and move on.. Yeah I think that's good advice. Shadow it would be so sad if you continued to hurt over this guy. I think it's better to move on! Link to post Share on other sites
elaina Posted September 13, 2010 Share Posted September 13, 2010 Ugh, even though what he did was lame, I think I like him too much to not see him at least one more time. It's a hard decision and yeah I lean more towards I don't think you should see him again, like what some other posters have said. We just don't want you to get hurt. I know you already have felt so much pain and fear over him... I wish that weren't the case but it is. There are other men out there and even though I understand you are afraid you'll never find "Mr. Right", I do think you will, especially once you've stopped basing your happiness on a guy and on your looks, but rather based your happiness on enjoying the good things in life! Link to post Share on other sites
westrock Posted September 13, 2010 Share Posted September 13, 2010 Lol! you guys aren't goin gto believe this, here's what he wrote: hey, sorry i've been awol. it's been a busy weekend i had a nice time too; if you want to get together again just let me know when/where! I had a feeling he would respond. I will repeat my advice back on post# 237: Am I the only one here who thinks that this guy may still call? I mean it's only been a day or 2... I agree with SaC. I think he will contact you either way. I don't think all is lost. If he contacts you in a positive way, then I believe how you then respond will determine whether or not there is any future with this guy. I wish you the best and hope it works out for you. Sleep on this before you respond or make any decisions on what you want to do. Best of luck. Link to post Share on other sites
tami-chan Posted September 13, 2010 Share Posted September 13, 2010 Ugh, even though what he did was lame, I think I like him too much to not see him at least one more time. Oh for crying out loud...! seriously... Link to post Share on other sites
meerkat stew Posted September 13, 2010 Share Posted September 13, 2010 Translation thanks for the sex it wasn't that great so I haven't bothered to get back to you BUT maybe next time would be better neva know! So congrats I've decided I'll let you be on my back burner as a booty call... Seriously shadow you so need to just delete every thing of him and move on.. Agree with the above, but also think that based on the texts you have sent him that he might also be very rightfully tentative about seeing you again, and may be feeling you out to see if you are going to go stalker on him. No way to tell what is in his head for sure. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted September 13, 2010 Share Posted September 13, 2010 ugh, yeah you guys are probably right. No, they are definitley right. But I suspect it won't be the end of it anyway. Anything that happens from this point is on you shadow. I hope you cut him, you've been jerked around far too much this year as it is. My advice to you is to never sleep with anyone that isn't committed to you. You are not built for a casual approach to sex. You will be doomed to obsess too much. Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted September 13, 2010 Share Posted September 13, 2010 S, this isn't about him. This is about you and what you want and what you need. You pushed things along way too fast for your own well-being, and for that reason, I don't see how things could go smoothly with this guy from now on. Plus, did you appreciate the amount of time it took him to respond to your texts? From the looks of this thread: the answer is no. Not to mention, he doesn't actually set up a date, but puts the onus on you to set one up. Choose the drama-free route. Let him go. Link to post Share on other sites
SadandConfusedWA Posted September 13, 2010 Share Posted September 13, 2010 Politician guy did. exactly. the. same. thing. That is why I knew he will contact you. He ignored all my emotional messages and sent me a simple wanna catch up soon?... Sadly, he is now officially stringing you along. I really think he will drive you crazy. I also know you will see him again (as did I). If he was worth holding on to, he would have addressed your emotional concerns. This sounds like he wants something casual and doesn't want to get emotionally involved in any way. I just hope SOOO much this doesn't end badly for you. Cheers to you all for claiming that he is an emotionally healthy, stand up guy who just wants to walk away from a messy situation Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted September 13, 2010 Share Posted September 13, 2010 For what it is worth, I have learnt something from this thread! A lot of people feel insecurities and other such things, and one thing I know now is.. I WILL NOT contact a guy again, if I am ": out of sorts" when around him... It HAPPENS to some people... they cannot fully relax and offewr themselves... I have a tendency to self sabotage, and to act odd and let my own thoughts get the better of me; if this happens with a guy I happen to be intimate with, then I will just LEAVE IT BE, accept my behaviour, and know that if the guy saw ENOUGH of the real me, and wants it to see me again based on this, then HE WILL CONTACT ME! The " do not contact a guy" thing has REALLY sunken in after reading some of this thread.... IF thinkgs were weird, it is best to just not bother, and to learn from your actions, and think of ways to just be yourself more with the next guy. Shaddow saw herself unraveling more and more through her actions on her second date with this guy. There is a POINT, where one must step back and judge that they have to STOP here, and just deal with their odd behaviour, and accept that how they acted may not have been enough to garner more attention from the guy. Link to post Share on other sites
meerkat stew Posted September 13, 2010 Share Posted September 13, 2010 Cheers to you all for claiming that he is an emotionally healthy, stand up guy who just wants to walk away from a messy situation Nothing in this thread says demonstrably that he is not. They have only had two dates, and OP has sent up some definite red flags, hasn't she? Link to post Share on other sites
Author shadowplay Posted September 13, 2010 Author Share Posted September 13, 2010 and the other guy I had set up a "date" with tentatively for this Saturday, emailed me that he's no longer interested because he made it official last night with somebody he's been seeing from the site for a month. sigh... Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted September 13, 2010 Share Posted September 13, 2010 Ha ha. Pretty funny everyone took it for granted he wasn't that into you and wouldn't call. Just because you were freaking out, they freaked out with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted September 13, 2010 Share Posted September 13, 2010 and the other guy I had set up a "date" with tentatively for this Saturday, emailed me that he's no longer interested because he made it official last night with somebody he's been seeing from the site for a month. sigh... Plenty of fish in the sea. The saying, not the dating site. Yes Johan, that's the thing about Shadow! She's so convincing when she freaks out! Link to post Share on other sites
dispatch3d Posted September 13, 2010 Share Posted September 13, 2010 btw, there were two stupid things I did before that date that I never mentioned because I didn't think them relevant until after receiving some feedback on here. He invited me out to dinner and a movie for our second date. Because I was so freakin' nervous about having a sit down meal with him, I lied. He asked me the day of our date where I wanted to eat, and I told him that I actually had a class that night, so we'd only have time to chat briefly at a cafe before the movie (this is after I had already agreed to dinner the night before). So we chatted at a cafe for like ten minutes before the movie. No dinner. Then an awkward convo in the theater before the movie started, a quick stroll around town after the movie where I barely tried with the conversation, and back to his place. Also, I had cancelled and rescheduled on him for our first date like twice, I think. I sent him a long apology the second time through text. All of this behavior was rooted in my anxiety that he'd reject me. Yeah just stop thinking your perfect for some guy based on x y and z. There's no such thing as perfect, don't build castles in the sky, etc. Just decide to go on the date then COMPLETELY STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. As in, okay we can do that and then move on to knitting and your regular arts and crafts stitch. You would do better to date the guys you are way too into. You are more likely to hit it off with them in person afterall. However, you really need to stop treating the guy like "he's the one" until you've been dating/in a relationship for a few months (minimum). Link to post Share on other sites
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