stefspets Posted September 14, 2010 Share Posted September 14, 2010 Just go out on the date. If nothing else it will give you more practice. In the meantime, stop analyzing the little details and just go along with things. I agree to keep it public. Just avoid the whole sex issue altogether. I don't think it would be weird to tell him that you feel you rushed things on the second date and would like to get to know him better first but if you can't say that then don't say anything. Some might disagree with me but I think it would be helpful to go out on more dates with guys that you aren't overly interested in. It will give you practice and allow you to develop some confidence when you aren't at the whims of your emotions. Don't go out with the same guys repeatedly and lead them on, but one date with a guy that seems like he might be interesting, if not someone you have really high interest in, might help the situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted September 14, 2010 Share Posted September 14, 2010 I am not sure. It was never an issue for me because I ask them for Facebook early on. This has helped me so far as I have discovered that one of the guys on OKC was married with kids before I met him. But I have never had a guy ask me during a date "So what is your last name?". I have also never asked. You didn't answer my question. Regardless of how you each found out, is it your common practice to have sex with a guy before you know each other's full name?? Link to post Share on other sites
a_woman Posted September 14, 2010 Share Posted September 14, 2010 (edited) I think it's the 8th longest thread in LS history. Literally. I think a new one with the new topic should be started... Maybe a new thread on why car crashes in slow motion such as this one are a spectator sport I'm so very glad that with all my faults at least I'm sane. Edited September 14, 2010 by a_woman Link to post Share on other sites
dispatch3d Posted September 15, 2010 Share Posted September 15, 2010 I am not sure. It was never an issue for me because I ask them for Facebook early on. This has helped me so far as I have discovered that one of the guys on OKC was married with kids before I met him. But I have never had a guy ask me during a date "So what is your last name?". I have also never asked. Stop with this. You have a date on friday. Until then stop thinking up negative things. Focus on the positive for a change. Link to post Share on other sites
SadandConfusedWA Posted September 15, 2010 Share Posted September 15, 2010 You didn't answer my question. Regardless of how you each found out, is it your common practice to have sex with a guy before you know each other's full name?? No, because I tend to wait to have sex until I am sure that a relationship has long term potential. I can't handle it earlier than that. But when to have sex is a very personal choice and people shouldn't be judged either way. I am just saying that this guy not asking Shadow for her last name doesn't mean anything. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted September 15, 2010 Share Posted September 15, 2010 I am just saying that this guy not asking Shadow for her last name doesn't mean anything. Agreed. It just seems weird to ask point blank what their last name is...I will usually figure out the girl's last name in a more inconspicuous manner...oftentimes I'll catch a glance of their credit card when they pull it out and get their full name from that... Link to post Share on other sites
BillieD Posted September 15, 2010 Share Posted September 15, 2010 ^Do you also take note of their pin number? j/k Link to post Share on other sites
SadandConfusedWA Posted September 15, 2010 Share Posted September 15, 2010 Agreed. It just seems weird to ask point blank what their last name is...I will usually figure out the girl's last name in a more inconspicuous manner...oftentimes I'll catch a glance of their credit card when they pull it out and get their full name from that... that's very underhanded indeed. Haven't thought of that myself but it's an excellent idea. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted September 15, 2010 Share Posted September 15, 2010 Agreed. It just seems weird to ask point blank what their last name is...I will usually figure out the girl's last name in a more inconspicuous manner...oftentimes I'll catch a glance of their credit card when they pull it out and get their full name from that... What are you, eagle eyes?? Let me put it this way, SAC... I wouldn't sleep with someone before I knew that he knew my full name. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted September 15, 2010 Share Posted September 15, 2010 What are you, eagle eyes?? Hahah, actually yes...I'm quite observant...you can add that to my list of random talents and abilities... Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted September 15, 2010 Share Posted September 15, 2010 I don't see the point in trying to spy her name on her credit card. You can get a lot more quality information just by following her home and raiding her mailbox. Star, I'm not sure I see the logic. Not that I think your little rule is bad. It just seems a bit arbitrary. "Whoa, hold on there, Mister. This is great and all, but bBefore we let this go any farther, my last name is Smith! Ok, get your clothes off." What else is on your pre-sex checklist? Link to post Share on other sites
SadandConfusedWA Posted September 15, 2010 Share Posted September 15, 2010 Oh wow, HotCarl has retired and johan is back! But where is LandShark Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted September 15, 2010 Share Posted September 15, 2010 I don't see the point in trying to spy her name on her credit card. You can get a lot more quality information just by following her home and raiding her mailbox. I don't intentionally spy on her credit card...it just happens...she pulls it out and lays it in the bill holder when it comes...my eyes happen to pass over it and I get the name...it comes naturally to me, so I take advantage of it...if I don't happen to be looking that way, then I don't see her name... Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted September 15, 2010 Share Posted September 15, 2010 Hahah, actually yes...I'm quite observant...you can add that to my list of random talents and abilities... The list is getting awfully long... I don't see the point in trying to spy her name on her credit card. You can get a lot more quality information just by following her home and raiding her mailbox. Star, I'm not sure I see the logic. Not that I think your little rule is bad. It just seems a bit arbitrary. "Whoa, hold on there, Mister. This is great and all, but before we let this go any farther, my last name is Smith! Ok, get your clothes off." What else is on your pre-sex checklist? I just need to make sure I know him well enough, and he knows me well enough, to know that I won't be freaking out the next morning wondering if he's gonna call. After all, I only have sex after exclusivity is established, and I'd hope that by that point I'd know his name, how old he is, what he does for a living, with his spare time, etc. You know, the very basics...at least. I don't go a' ridin' any d*ck I find, ya know!! Oh wow, HotCarl has retired and johan is back! But where is LandShark None of them are ever retired... But Johan has always been my favorite. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted September 15, 2010 Share Posted September 15, 2010 I'm with star. Yes, Johan has always been my favourite. But also I can't even fathom sleeping with someone that doesn't know my name. Surely there should be a little get to know you time...unless it's a ONS. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shadowplay Posted September 15, 2010 Author Share Posted September 15, 2010 For the most part I've been keeping myself busy and not obsessing. A couple of things, though. I logged back onto aim yesterday, because I wanted to talk to other people. Would it kill him to im me? He did after our first date. Blah, I'm starting to really resent him. Maybe this is for the best because it means I'll feel more relaxed on our date. It will be good practice, something to do, and maybe he'll somehow redeem himself. (doubtful) Honestly, I don't think I really liked his personality even after our first date. What I liked was his online personality (when we imed), how physically affectionate he was, his "on paper" intelligence and the way he looked. Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted September 16, 2010 Share Posted September 16, 2010 What do you guys do that you can always be online, or expect the other person to be online. Do you not work or have school?? Just because someones MSN or whatever is on does not necessarily mean they are sitting in front of their computer. You didn't like his personality, but you slept with him anyway?? Sounds kind of shallow. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shadowplay Posted September 16, 2010 Author Share Posted September 16, 2010 It's almost 4:30, and he still hasn't contacted me to confirm tonight's "date" or whatever the heck it is. I have this suspicion that he's going to call ridiculously late, like 7 or 8, just to extinguish any doubts I might have that it's anything but a booty call. I hope if he does that, I have the strength to say, "no buddy, too late." Link to post Share on other sites
SadandConfusedWA Posted September 17, 2010 Share Posted September 17, 2010 I hope it's sorted by now.... My guy hasn't called either Link to post Share on other sites
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