Raderick Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 The chase is ****ing stupid. but it will ALWAYS live on, because there will always be dumb-ass men that play along! Quote for Truth.
EasyHeart Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 Wow, there seem to be a lot of very strange perspectives in this thread. I think a lot of you are playing semantic games. Would someone please define what they mean by "The Chase", because many of imply some very warped definitions. To me, it simply means seduction: taking a woman from "Hey, he's kinda cute" to "OMG, I can't live with out him and want to bear his children!!!!" If you think that women should do all the work and chase after you, then you're either delusional and egomaniacal.
Author waynebrady Posted September 11, 2010 Author Posted September 11, 2010 Wow, there seem to be a lot of very strange perspectives in this thread. I think a lot of you are playing semantic games. Would someone please define what they mean by "The Chase", because many of imply some very warped definitions. To me, it simply means seduction: taking a woman from "Hey, he's kinda cute" to "OMG, I can't live with out him and want to bear his children!!!!" If you think that women should do all the work and chase after you, then you're either delusional and egomaniacal. Who in this thread has said anything like that? Why should the man do all the work and chase the woman then? I think it should be both ways, that the woman also puts in some effort. You obviously have double-standards when it comes to this though. Nobody has said they want the woman to do all the work and chase after them. I think however that alot of men do not want to do all the work and chase after the woman. It should be 50/50.
Author waynebrady Posted September 11, 2010 Author Posted September 11, 2010 If you think that women should do all the work and chase after you, then you're either delusional and egomaniacal. Are all women egomaniacs then since that's exactly what they expect from men?
somedude81 Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 In order to be a chase, there must be somebody who is trying to run away. If a girl is interested in a guy, the last thing she should do is play hard to get. It's a foolish notion that making a man work for something will increase his enjoyment of it. Having to work really hard for something removes all excitement associated with getting it and replaces with with a relived but still frustrated feeling of, "Finally, about time." I hate having to chase and I don't bother with girls that play games.
jamesum Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 Firstly, people need to understand that women are inherently narcisstic. This is perhaps due to nature or social conditioning. Traditionally, romance for a man means that he takes care of his woman. On the other hand, romance for a woman means that she gets taken care of by a man. In short, a man gives while a woman receives. And this will keep on continuing forever as long as men still have the need to have sex or to have children. Without these urges, no man will ever bother sacrificing their money, time, and energy to chase/pursue a woman beyond minimum effort. And without these urges, Tiger Woods would still have his career and reputation.
EasyHeart Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 Nobody has said they want the woman to do all the work and chase after them. I think however that alot of men do not want to do all the work and chase after the woman. It should be 50/50. Well, you can want that to happen, but it's not going to. In the real world, men compete for women, and that means we chase and they receive. It's been that way for millions of years, and it's not going change. And as to "playing hard to get", I agree that game playing is silly. But how do you know a woman is "playing" hard to get? Most attractive women have lots and lots of suitors and they really ARE hard to get. Your job is to show that you are better than all those other guys and she should choose you. If you're not better than the competition, why on Earth would she want to date you?
MrNate Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 Well, you can want that to happen, but it's not going to. In the real world, men compete for women, and that means we chase and they receive. It's been that way for millions of years, and it's not going change. And as to "playing hard to get", I agree that game playing is silly. But how do you know a woman is "playing" hard to get? Most attractive women have lots and lots of suitors and they really ARE hard to get. Your job is to show that you are better than all those other guys and she should choose you. If you're not better than the competition, why on Earth would she want to date you? I think at this point, the male has to decide if it's really worth the stress of going through all that competition, or seek out a woman with a few less suitors, where his chances may be better. Your scenario is not my cup of tea personally. So I would probably seek out more low key women, where the odds just may be worth my time. I guess you can kind of liken this to the amount of women ready to date Brad Pitt, or Johnny Depp, and just how selective these guys can afford to be.
GooseChaser Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 As a woman, I prefer letting the man approach and show interest before I even form a crush on anyone. I don't need, and refuse to fall to, the heartbreak of unrequitted love. I learned that lesson a long time ago. Once they show their interest, then things can proceed how they will. If they are too afraid to approach, that's just how it goes. It's not much of a loss either. We want a guy who has the guts to introduce himself and go for what he wants. So guys, go for it! We're waiting.
Author waynebrady Posted September 11, 2010 Author Posted September 11, 2010 As a woman, I prefer letting the man approach and show interest before I even form a crush on anyone. I don't need, and refuse to fall to, the heartbreak of unrequitted love. I learned that lesson a long time ago. Once they show their interest, then things can proceed how they will. If they are too afraid to approach, that's just how it goes. It's not much of a loss either. We want a guy who has the guts to introduce himself and go for what he wants. So guys, go for it! We're waiting. So why should men go through that? Women say they don't like getting rejected and stuff like that. Men get rejected all the time, women never have to get rejected.
jamesum Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 As a woman, I prefer letting the man approach and show interest before I even form a crush on anyone. I don't need, and refuse to fall to, the heartbreak of unrequitted love. I learned that lesson a long time ago. Once they show their interest, then things can proceed how they will. If they are too afraid to approach, that's just how it goes. It's not much of a loss either. We want a guy who has the guts to introduce himself and go for what he wants. So guys, go for it! We're waiting. You see guys what I meant by 'women are inherently narcisstic'? They expect everything to be served to them on a silver platter. Who do you think you are telling people to come to you?
GooseChaser Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 (edited) What? I don't expect anyone here to come to me, haha! I'm saying that I don't waste my time and emotional energy crushing on a guy who doesn't like me-- rather, I wait for a guy to decide he likes me, and then he has the choice to say hi. I don't think that's terrible of me. Since guys generally are accepted as the ones to "chase" or approach, it works out well. It also weeds out the guys who aren't interested enough to introduce himself or aren't willing to. Edited September 11, 2010 by GooseChaser
GooseChaser Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 Also, a woman who is looking for a man should generally try to be approachable. Once a guy does approach, if the woman is interested, it becomes her job to give green lights, be interesting, and be interested in getting to know the man and doing her part to make it work. The woman has responsibilities too. If she gives no effort, you're probably better off finding another one.
Author waynebrady Posted September 11, 2010 Author Posted September 11, 2010 What? I don't expect anyone here to come to me, haha! I'm saying that I don't waste my time and emotional energy crushing on a guy who doesn't like me-- rather, I wait for a guy to decide he likes me, and then he has the choice to say hi. I don't think that's terrible of me. Since guys generally are accepted as the ones to "chase" or approach, it works out well. It also weeds out the guys who aren't interested enough to introduce himself or aren't willing to. Yet you expect men to have to go through that. What if a guy realy really likes you and you reject him? Then he has to go through all that. Do you think it's any easier for men to get rejected? Women have it alot easier than men in dating...
jamesum Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 What? I don't expect anyone here to come to me, haha! I'm saying that I don't waste my time and emotional energy crushing on a guy who doesn't like me-- rather, I wait for a guy to decide he likes me, and then he has the choice to say hi. I don't think that's terrible of me. Since guys generally are accepted as the ones to "chase" or approach, it works out well. It also weeds out the guys who aren't interested enough to introduce himself or aren't willing to. I usually makes the effort to go for a girl I like. But if I find out that she has a sense of entitlement like you do, I will think less of her. I dont have respect for people who feel that they are entitled to have people come to them because usually thats a sign that such a person is a taker not a giver. Imagine if all men held the same principle as women like you. Probably every single person in this planet will be alone.
GooseChaser Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 Yet you expect men to have to go through that. What if a guy realy really likes you and you reject him? Then he has to go through all that. Do you think it's any easier for men to get rejected? Women have it alot easier than men in dating... I didn't say anything about rejecting anyone. I'm saying they need to approach and let me know they exist before I can reject or give them a chance! About rejection, from what I understand, some men do get very experienced with getting rejected since it happens a lot. They are willing to put up with that, because they are looking for something important and feel it's worth the pain. I am not denying that it hurts to be rejected-- I know it does, and have experienced it too. I also agree that women sometimes have it easier than men in dating. That's just how it is, even if it's unfair. However, if a woman really likes a man and is interested, she will make it easier on him.
Mad Max Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 I remember having a discussion about this with a female friend. We've been friends for 10 years, so I trust her. She won't hesitate to approach guys and doesn't take rejection personally. She told me if she doesn't make a move, someone else will. For women that refuse to make the first move or ask a guy out, she's the only one that will lose out.
Author waynebrady Posted September 11, 2010 Author Posted September 11, 2010 Also, a woman who is looking for a man should generally try to be approachable. Once a guy does approach, if the woman is interested, it becomes her job to give green lights, be interesting, and be interested in getting to know the man and doing her part to make it work. The woman has responsibilities too. If she gives no effort, you're probably better off finding another one. That's still making the man do all the work. You are giving him the green light to put in all the effort basicly. You are not the one initiating every date and every contact which is what you are making the man do. If a woman is making the man chase her, she is not putting in any effort. She is letting him do all the work.
LondonS Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 I had some men ask me out mostly but a couple of times I asked guys out... I have no problem asking someone out if I am interested enough, knowing that I will not die of heartache if they are not interested...
GooseChaser Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 Ooh, some good debate here! I'm game! I usually makes the effort to go for a girl I like. But if I find out that she has a sense of entitlement like you do, I will think less of her. I dont have respect for people who feel that they are entitled to have people come to them because usually thats a sign that such a person is a taker not a giver. I am not entitled; at least, I don't think so. If I am, I guess that's just how it is, fine, hehe. Oh well. If there are no interested men around, sure, I can chase too. I am also fine with being single for extended periods of time if there are no interested guys around, no problem. If a guy has less respect for me and doesn't like me, that's fine and up to them. I am looking for a man who likes me for who I am, after all. I see myself as a giver. I know that relationships are about love, and it is more important to give than take. The problem is, how can I give to them if I haven't even met them? They need to approach! Maybe the chase won't even be necessary if there's enough chemistry! Imagine if all men held the same principle as women like you. Probably every single person in this planet will be alone. But that isn't how it is. In this world there are plenty of men willing to make the approach toward a woman, so there is no issue. Men and women have different roles, and men often become the chasers. Women can chase too, but men often dominate that role, so it becomes less essential for a woman to do it. She can just wait for an interested guy to introduce himself. Then she can think about if she likes him or not, and act accordingly. That's all there is to it. Guys, do you see where I'm coming from? Do you have any suggestions for us women? How can we make it easier for you, besides becoming the chasers?
GooseChaser Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 That's still making the man do all the work. You are giving him the green light to put in all the effort basicly. You are not the one initiating every date and every contact which is what you are making the man do. If a woman is making the man chase her, she is not putting in any effort. She is letting him do all the work. I think I see where the confusion is here. Well, you see, women often let a guy chase, because for women, it is a way to see that the guy is in fact interested. Chasing is also often seen as the man's role. He is proactive, while she accepts his advances, is approachable, and when she decides he is someone she wants to go after, she can put in just as much effort for him as he puts in towards her. Ideally, when the two are together, both will set up dates and show equal interest. One big question is who starts the chase. Often, that will be the man. Hopefully over time, the man will not be putting in all the work. If it is so lopsided, the man should reconsider chasing the woman, as she might not have enough interest in him.
GooseChaser Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 To gain something like this worth having, one of the two must take a chance. Isn't the man usually traditionally the one to ask a woman out to a dance, for example? This is what I'm talking about.
Author waynebrady Posted September 11, 2010 Author Posted September 11, 2010 How can we make it easier for you, besides becoming the chasers? Ok if a man makes the first move and asks you out first, if you are intrested then you can ask him out for the second date. Don't make the guy have to initiate every phone call and text, if you are intrested then you call/text him from time to time. If I am dating a woman and I'm the one who initiates every date and every contact then I'm gonna feel like I'm way more intrested in her than she is in me. You don't have to make the first move but if you are intrested atleast put in some effort and not make the guy do all the work.
GooseChaser Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 Ok if a man makes the first move and asks you out first, if you are intrested then you can ask him out for the second date. Don't make the guy have to initiate every phone call and text, if you are intrested then you call/text him from time to time. If I am dating a woman and I'm the one who initiates every date and every contact then I'm gonna feel like I'm way more intrested in her than she is in me. You don't have to make the first move but if you are intrested atleast put in some effort and not make the guy do all the work. I can do that. Thanks for the tip! Another thing is that we have to be a bit distant and cautious at first when entering a dating relationship, because we have to avoid coming on too strongly or seeming desperate.
Author waynebrady Posted September 11, 2010 Author Posted September 11, 2010 I think I see where the confusion is here. Well, you see, women often let a guy chase, because for women, it is a way to see that the guy is in fact interested. Chasing is also often seen as the man's role. He is proactive, while she accepts his advances, is approachable, and when she decides he is someone she wants to go after, she can put in just as much effort for him as he puts in towards her. Ideally, when the two are together, both will set up dates and show equal interest. One big question is who starts the chase. Often, that will be the man. Hopefully over time, the man will not be putting in all the work. If it is so lopsided, the man should reconsider chasing the woman, as she might not have enough interest in him. How is the guy supposed to know that the woman really is intrested if he is the one doing all the chasing and initiating every date/phone call/text etc etc?
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