dispatch3d Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 It has nothing to do with being judgmental. I have the right to expect a woman to not sleep around. lol. You don't have the right no. You aren't in a relationship with them yet haha. They aren't sleeping around either. They aren't having sex with strangers or a bunch of guys. Did you read the article or not? 50% of the population are in the secrety society (probably an embelishment percentage-wise), 48% of them are women and the other 2% are guys. so 2% of guys are in the secret society and get random-hookup sex. Not exactly sleeping around with a ton of guys, is it? A (girl) friend of mine told me earlier that her friends go out to bars to shoot down guys, and they usually just sleep with male friends of there's so that they aren't hooking up with a bunch of randoms. Her friends are relatively hot. She also constantly tells me she's trying to hook me up with girls but noone is good enough. I finally got her to cut out bull****ting me just a little while ago (ie. this is to make me feel better).
Star Gazer Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 I tell them if there's anyone else, they better say so. I'm honest and I expect complete honesty in return. Do you also tell them that they better say so (), because you won't date them if they are also seeing others? I'd be sooooo turned off if a guy asked me that in the very beginning stages, particularly in that matter.
Author Mad Max Posted September 2, 2010 Author Posted September 2, 2010 This is your experience, obviously. It was not mine, nor that of most of my friends. Perhaps it boils down to location and local subculture, but I knew and know plenty of single women who are contentedly serially monogamous and not involved in any FWB situations or parallel sexytime scenarios. Like I said earlier, I wasn't raised in the states.
K'aycie Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 If you brought up the subject and she was evasive, misleading, lied by omission, etc. then yes, IMO she was slippery with her ethics at best and I wouldn't have put up with it either. I need to be confident that I know where I stand in my relationships. It's highly speculative to assume she was cheating on an established boyfriend, although of course not impossible. Agreed. Although, I wouldn't have gone into it, automatically expecting the person to be exclusive. But, if we're dating each other regularly, and progressing physically, it's because I feel that we are compatible on some level and there is a connection there. At which point, I would like to know whether or not we were on the same page. If he hadn't brought it up by a certain point, then I would say something.
Star Gazer Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 Like I said earlier, I wasn't raised in the states. Aren't you here now? If so, would be wise to adapt to your surroundings.
Star Gazer Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 Agreed. Although' date=' [b']I wouldn't have gone into it, automatically expecting the person to be exclusive[/b]. But, if we're dating each other regularly, and progressing physically, it's because I feel that we are compatible on some level and there is a connection there. At which point, I would like to know whether or not we were on the same page. If he hadn't brought it up by a certain point, then I would say something. That's the key difference though. You'd actually have a conversation about it, not assume.
Author Mad Max Posted September 2, 2010 Author Posted September 2, 2010 Do you also tell them that they better say so (), because you won't date them if they are also seeing others? I'd be sooooo turned off if a guy asked me that in the very beginning stages, particularly in that matter. You'd be "sooooo turned off" if the guy wants complete honesty?
Author Mad Max Posted September 2, 2010 Author Posted September 2, 2010 lol. You don't have the right no. You aren't in a relationship with them yet haha. Yes I do have the right and it doesn't matter if we're exlusive or not. As long as I'm giving my time, I do have the right to expect a certain level of morality and decency. Aren't you here now? If so, would be wise to adapt to your surroundings. I'm not changing my standards because I don't live in Quebec anymore.
dispatch3d Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 He does have a right to know. Why should women have the right to use him? He isn't being used. He's not in an EXCLUSIVE RELATIONSHIP. He's just dating them. If while he's dating them they chose to **** some guy, it's none of his business. He's not her boyfriend. She can **** whoever she wants to. The reason the secret society exists is because so many guys have negative opinions like you guys do. So they aren't informed of SS matters since it could destroy their reputation. Women will also never ever ever admit to being "slutty" or doing anything "slutty". Any activity they do which may suggest such an existence will be backwards rationalized out of existence.
dispatch3d Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 Yes I do have the right and it doesn't matter if we're exlusive or not. As long as I'm giving my time, I do have the right to expect a certain level of morality and decency. I'm not changing my standards because I don't live in Quebec anymore. oh yeah. So lets say you go on a date with some hotty, you aren't sure if she like syou and the date ends. Then while walking down the street this girl you recognize, who you know is not slutty, offers to have sex with you. You turn her down since you are dating another girl then? I thought not. I call bull****!
Star Gazer Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 You'll be so turned off by many good guys then. I don't want to date a woman while she's sleeping with others. 1. That wasn't what he said he tells them. He said he tells them that if they're seeing anyone else, she better tell him so. (I imagine him wagging his finger at her, like a stern father.) 2. I've never had a "good guy" say such a thing to me. If I went out on a date with a guy, and he made any sort of commentary that I had better only be seeing him, or else... I'd never see him again. The point of dating is to date, not to find oneself in an insta-relationship, but by expecting exclusivity from the get-go, that's exactly what you're expecting: and insta-relationship. It's fine if you only want to date one person at a time, but not that many people operate under the same strict guidelines. Yes I do have the right and it doesn't matter if we're exlusive or not. As long as I'm giving my time, I do have the right to expect a certain level of morality and decency. You have the right to expect whatever you want. But your expectations, as evidenced by the responses in this thread, are unreasonable.
USMCHokie Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 I don't sex a girl unless I'm the only one sexing her and she's the only one sexing me...if we are still in the pre-sex/relationship dating phase, she owes me nothing as far as commitment or exclusivity...and she should expect the same from me...
Author Mad Max Posted September 2, 2010 Author Posted September 2, 2010 oh yeah. So lets say you go on a date with some hotty, you aren't sure if she like syou and the date ends. Then while walking down the street this girl you recognize, who you know is not slutty, offers to have sex with you. You turn her down since you are dating another girl then? I thought not. I call bull****! If I'm dating her, then yes I will turn down the other girl. You have the right to expect whatever you want. But your expectations, as evidenced by the responses in this thread, are unreasonable. I didn't have this problem in Canada.
Star Gazer Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 He abolsolute is being used. He's not being used. He's only paying and initiating 50% of the dates. She pays and initiates the other 50% - based on HIS own rules. There's no using here, whatsoever.
Stung Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 The reason the secret society exists is because so many guys have negative opinions like you guys do. So they aren't informed of SS matters since it could destroy their reputation. . Secret society? What the hell? I'm fully aware of the thick unprincipled morass of the lowest-common-denominator masses, but some of the paranoia that is rampant on this board and in this thread...!
Philetus Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 No, average women, and average men, are very differently situated in terms of OP's question as the average woman has vastly more sexual/dating opportunity and options open to her than the average man does. Not a value statement, just a given reality. Who is dating/having sex with these 'average' women? If average is taken to be around 50%, there must be a handful of very, very busy attractive guys. Yes? Does the top 10th percentile 'service' 60%+ of all women? It's a serious question. I guess woman CAN hook up more readily than a guy but it doesn't mean they do. This may be your experience but it contradicts my experience and the information I've gotten from friends. I know a lot of single women and yes, if they're willing to hook up with guys who send them pictures of their junk on OKCupid, yeah, they could have a dating bonanza. Luckily, most have more self-respect than that. Attractive women have new "jumping branch prospects" extended to them constantly and without effort during the course of their preexisting relationships, whereas men do not unless they strive for such proactively and risk their existing relationship in the process. OP topic is not one where you can smooth out the gender content and make some politically correct platitude out of a sexist platitude So, if I read you correctly, attractive women get hit on and attractive guys don't, unless they seek it out? That's different from how things have always been how? But, I'm confused. If the attractive men who are in honourable relationships are taken, that leaves even fewer guys (maybe 5%?) to service the majority of women. Is that right? Man, I hope these dudes take their vitamins and carbo load. Women above a certain low X percentile of desirability needn't ever go without sex or a relationship if they don't choose to voluntarily. Not the case for men below the ~90th percentile of attractiveness. I suppose if they drastically lower their standards I'm sure they could voluntarily have a relationship. I don't know the women you know but the ones I know would rather remain single than do that. Dude, I'm not even close to the 90th percentile of attractiveness and I can date like nobody's business. My direct experience for my age has been, if you're a decent guy, who is average looking, and has a job, YOU are the hot commodity. All my male friends except two who are single are having an awesome time dating. It is exactly flipped for my single female friends. But, all I can comment on is my direct - and indirect - experience.
Star Gazer Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 I don't sex a girl unless I'm the only one sexing her and she's the only one sexing me...if we are still in the pre-sex/relationship dating phase, she owes me nothing as far as commitment or exclusivity...and she should expect the same from me... And that's exactly how it should be.
Star Gazer Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 You are twisting his words. Dating is a game to too many of you. I doubt you mean just first dates by dating many people at a time. It's obvious most of you have no problem with kissing multiple different people or even sleeping with multiple different people at once. I'm not twisting them at all. Why do you think the bolded above is true, particularly the latter part of the sentence? It's absolutely not true as far as I'm concerned.
dispatch3d Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 If I'm dating her, then yes I will turn down the other girl. I didn't have this problem in Canada. hahahahaha you're a funny guy. I get a kick out of your comments. I'm not sure if you truly believe this or are lieing just to save face on purpose? Hahaha funny though.
K'aycie Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 That's the key difference though. You'd actually have a conversation about it, not assume. Yes, because hope can only float for so long. But, this really all boils down to personal choices, and either two people's preferences and choices allign with one anothers, or they don't. I personally choose not to have sex with more than one person at the same time. I choose not to go outside of an exclusive and committed relationship. Some feel the same, others don't. Choices.
Woggle Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 if she told the truth? Want her to grow a dick while she's at it? Lol. I was drinking last week and a girl said "I can't lie. blablabla it's crazy!" And I thought to myself, your either lying now or there is a special reason you believe this... haha she's really religious. Problem solved. Seriously, open your eyes to what women are like man. Read this. Stop being so judgemental! and ala secret society none of them are going to admit to anything: http://www.bristollair.com/inner-game/nature-and-reality/secret-society.html That link is true. Women have a sisterhood that most men have no clue about which is why I am trying to establish a brotherhood.
Star Gazer Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 How do you date multiple people for who knows how long and not kiss multiple people at once? I can't imagine what it must be like to have all these options and it's clear those with lots of options use those who are lucky to get one date every several months. It doesn't take several months to get a date, ha! You're probably one of the options and don't even know it. Example: Day 1: First date with Adam. Day 2: First date with Brian. Day 5: Second date with Adam. Day 7: First date with Chris. Day 8: Second date with Brian. Kiss. Gross kiss, lose interest. Brian's done. Day 11: Second date with Chris. Kiss. Still interested. Day 12: Third date with Adam. Kiss. Still interested, but not quite sure. Day 17: Third date with Chris. Kiss. Kiss some more. Really diggin' the guy. Decide you like Chris. Intuitively just stop seeing Adam because you now know you're more into Chris than Adam, so what's the point in seeing Adam again, comparitively? Day 21: Fourth date with Chris. Day 28: Fifth date with Chris. Day 33: First date with new guy, Dave. Day 34: Sixith date with Chris. Day 38: Second date with Dave. Day 45. Seventh date with Chris. Stop seeing Dave for same reasons as Adam. And on and on... UNTIL you have the conversation with Chris about being exclusive. Typically, I find myself exclusively dating someone BY CHOICE long before we ever have "the talk." It is ONLY AFTER "the talk" can the sexing begin... And for the record, I assume Chris's dating calendar looks fairly similar.
Rorschach Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 That link is true. Women have a sisterhood that most men have no clue about which is why I am trying to establish a brotherhood. Woggle agrees with you? Well it's official, this thread is now full of people who hate women.
Rorschach Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 It is ONLY AFTER "the talk" can the sexing begin... I would agree with this, most guys would hate this but it's the only thing that makes sense to me. Sex is too personal and important to just share willy nilly, and I agree I wouldn't want to be having sex with somebody who was sleeping with other guys, which is why I WOULDN'T until it was serious. Seems to me if you sleep with her before 'the talk' and then get mad she was sleeping with other guys you're just as much to blame as she is.
Woggle Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 Woggle agrees with you? Well it's official, this thread is now full of people who hate women. It is not an official group but women will side with women and will help each other play men and use them. They look out for each other while men stab each other in the back or go against other men to prove they are one of the good ones. They have each other's backs no matter what and I wish men would do the same.
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