"I took him to the cleaners"

[Summer Breeze]

Just like your lack of compassion for a BS (over and over and over, yeah we get it) says more about you than the woman mentioned in the OP.

 

You've made your point. We get it.

 

You obviously don't 'get it'. We don't even know she is a BS. She's a stranger spouting personal information in public.

 

Obviously you haven't made your point because I don't get it.

 

I'll leave it at that though because I wouldn't want to rock your boat any further. I still think it's a crock but that's my opinion. I'll save my compassion and empathy for people here and in RL that deserve it.

 

Catcha later

[NancyBotwin]

If you want to start a thread on what children know or don't know about an adults sex life then go ahead and I'll be glad to chime in. I'm dropping this here. Not ignoring this, it just doesn't belong. Start a new thread.

 

 

 

She should have had her own retirement account. Poor planning on her part if she did not. I don't like cheating either....however no one ever wants to talk about the cheating being anything other then an affair. And yet there are so many ways to cheat one's spouse without ever involving another person.

Coincidentally, there is a thread on another board that mentions some swinging that went wrong. She's embarrassed about it, so I won't link the thread here. Daughter found out.

 

In regards to your other snarky comment, the woman was in her 60's, probably a baby boomer. It's pretty likely that she was always a stay at home mom/homemaker who was told by her "wonderful" husband that he would take care of her forever. She probably trusted her husband to take care of things financially as lots of baby boomers do. Blaming her for poor planning, ie trusting her husband, falls really flat. Makes you seem a little bitter because a cheater got caught and was forced to pay.

 

It's kind of like those people that can always be depended upon to shyt on other's people's happiness.

[Mimolicious]

I did- (took him to the cleaners, that is). What's the problem? I met that mofo with a dream, who made it happen? Me, that's who. While I was working in my career, yet going to bed at 4am due to his celeb bullshyt, splitting myself in 4 different locations 3-4 nights a week with his events, he was setting up his side h*e with comp tickets and bottle service on the other side of VIP. Sooooooooooooooooo when it was time to adjust accounts for all the COMP they had on my clock. I got time and a half OT.

BOOYAH!

 

I warned him.

 

There is nothing materialistic, evil or whatever anyone wants to call it about what I got. Yes, lucky for me I passed the 10yr mark, plus "Copyrights", blah blah blah...

 

I build it ground, up, she got it renovated. Now he is every handyman's dream, a fixer-upper.

 

BTW, 900k is SOME $$ but not A LOT of $$ nowadays. Where I live, you can't even get a 2 bedroom co-op for that price. LOL! Yes, 2Sure there are plenty of people who have millions in their retirement accounts. Nothing stupid about that, diversification is what matters.

Also, goes with age.

 

Every situation is different and TBH, the divorce law is not written fit-for-all as society wants to make it seem. It comes down to the agreed terms, a judge wouldn't dispute what the 2 parties involved are agreeing to and it goes undisputed. I am sure that nowhere in divorce law is written that each "mistress" is worth $85 million US Dollars, or else Tiget Woods would have reconsidered his intake.

[NancyBotwin]

Mimolicious, I don't know what to say...

Part of me wants to cheer you on, but the other part is so very sad for what you have gone through.

 

I sincerely hope the you and 2sure eventually have happy outcomes.

[Mimolicious]

Nancy- Thanks for the wishes bebe!

 

I can't speak for 2Sure but my life is much better now and I sleep very well without pharmaceutical help. Of course, I still have to deal with my xH's shenanigans, we have kids. They see their dad act a fool sometimes. Thank God for DVR and parental control.

 

It's been one tough road but if the almighty puts you to it, he'll put your through it.

 

Of course, being alone at this stage in life single-parenting was not what I had planned for when I was in my 30's but neither was being married to a POS lying clown. SO who was I kidding to think that I would be far more miserable by being single?!

 

I rather stand alone than to actually support the groupies. LMAO!

[silktricks]

I overheard this today. Actually, I didn't really overhear, she intentionally said it loud enough for everyone to hear..

 

"I'm moving back home. My husband got caught with his mistress, and I took him to the cleaners! He had a $900,000 retirement account, and guess who got all of it? I did! And guess who got everything else? She (the mistress) tried to tell me that he was divorced, but I didn't believe any of it. I've bought a nice new car, and a nice new home. With everything I got, I am set for life. I got it all, and she got a big sack of sh-, well, nothin!"

 

Anyway, I thought some might get a kick out of that.

 

I think it's sad that someone who once loved a man has allowed herself to be reduced to the cruelty this shows.

[donnamaybe]

I think it's sad that someone who once loved a man has allowed herself to be reduced to the cruelty this shows.

I don't think it's fair to say that she "has allowed herself" anything. Who allows themself to be cheated on and used? And why should anyone let the cheater off scott free?

 

When my ex and I divorced, I took a few measures to make sure I was treated as fairly during the divorce as he treated me during our M. He had NO clue, nor did his enabling mother, that they were dealing with someone MUCH more intelligent than they.

[NancyBotwin]

I think it's sad that someone who once loved a man has allowed herself to be reduced to the cruelty this shows.

I think it's sad that someone who once loved a woman has allowed himself to be reduced to the cruelty that his cheating shows.

[silktricks]

I don't think it's fair to say that she "has allowed herself" anything. Who allows themself to be cheated on and used? And why should anyone let the cheater off scott free?

 

When my ex and I divorced, I took a few measures to make sure I was treated as fairly during the divorce as he treated me during our M. He had NO clue, nor did his enabling mother, that they were dealing with someone MUCH more intelligent than they.

 

I say she allowed herself because we each have the power over ourselves and our own attitudes towards life. By turning mean and vindictive she allowed her husband and what he did to make her mean and vindictive - it didn't have to happen, she allowed it to happen. For her to crow about "taking him to the cleaners" implies cruelty to me. That is sad.

 

BTW, "taking someone to the cleaners" does not IMO imply fair. I don't mean someone (such as you in your first divorce) should be taken advantage of, but I also don't believe anyone should rip the other stem-to-stern either.

 

JMO...

[silktricks]

I think it's sad that someone who once loved a woman has allowed himself to be reduced to the cruelty that his cheating shows.

 

I'm sure you've heard "two wrongs don't make a right"...

[donnamaybe]

I'm sure you've heard "two wrongs don't make a right"...

But what if the woman was a stay at home mom, as agreed upon by the both of them, and he amassed a small fortune. Is she now supposed to live like a pauper?

[donnamaybe]

For her to crow about "taking him to the cleaners" implies cruelty to me. That is sad.

Cruel begets cruel.

 

I'm not a "turn the other cheek" sorta gal myself. I don't stand around to be battered a second time. I fight back.

[Distant78]

I say she allowed herself because we each have the power over ourselves and our own attitudes towards life. By turning mean and vindictive she allowed her husband and what he did to make her mean and vindictive - it didn't have to happen, she allowed it to happen. For her to crow about "taking him to the cleaners" implies cruelty to me. That is sad.

 

So basically its all her fault? This is one of the craziest statements I have ever heard in my short time at LS. The woman was cuckolded by her husband and you're saying she shouldn't celebrate divorcing a cheater? So what if she brags. I'm sure every couple that divorced in this world has bragged at least once about leaving their horrible spouse.

 

BTW, "taking someone to the cleaners" does not IMO imply fair. I don't mean someone (such as you in your first divorce) should be taken advantage of, but I also don't believe anyone should rip the other stem-to-stern either.

 

Does not imply fair? If taking money from a cheating spouse isn't fair then how about you give us a suggestion on how she could've handled the problem, since its her fault and the evil one.

[Woggle]

If I had a chance to get alimony from my ex I would have turned it down because despite everything I still want her to have a nice life. I actually feel guilt about calling the cops after the shooting because I know being in prison has probably messed her up for life. Despite my bitterness I am not a vindictive person and once a person is no longer a threat I don't care anymore.

 

Quite honestly I just see this as gender biased cheerleading.

[crazycatlady]

Coincidentally, there is a thread on another board that mentions some swinging that went wrong. She's embarrassed about it, so I won't link the thread here. Daughter found out.

 

In regards to your other snarky comment, the woman was in her 60's, probably a baby boomer. It's pretty likely that she was always a stay at home mom/homemaker who was told by her "wonderful" husband that he would take care of her forever. She probably trusted her husband to take care of things financially as lots of baby boomers do. Blaming her for poor planning, ie trusting her husband, falls really flat. Makes you seem a little bitter because a cheater got caught and was forced to pay.

 

It's kind of like those people that can always be depended upon to shyt on other's people's happiness.

 

The women in my life raised me to take care of my own financial needs and planning, and they were a boomer and older. So don't blame age. Having 50% is not taking to the cleaners and right, especially as a stay at home wife (which with boomers may or may not be true, as a boomer its when women started working a heck of a lot more). However I spent a lot of years as a SAH, and even now work a schedual that allows me to be home with the kids, including summers, due to this being our plan. And I would refuse more then my share, but that share would be partly mine because I have been planning on my own future as well as his.

 

He's the cheater, but when it came out and seperating came up, taking him to the cleaners was the LAST thing on my mind. In fact I was going to let him have primary custody of the children and would try and pay what support I could or at least find a job that kept me able to watch the kids when they were home and H wasn't. Why? Because being vindictive is stupid, no one wins when that happens.

 

What's even funnier is Woggle who hates his ex wife wouldn't do it to her! I think that shows the mindset of those who do and gloat. And Woggle, I think it is just a few vocal ones cheerleading, most don't seem to be.

 

And while I wasn't going to do this.....

 

When my daughter is old enough to be on LS, she is old enough to deal with the fact that we have an open marriage. I have often wondered about my parents and it would not surprise me at all to find out they were or even are swingers. They are devoted to each other, but just wouldn't surprise me. Devotion to each other and swinging can and sometimes do go together.

 

However I have read most swinging threads on here for the past 8 months and never seen one where a child has discovered her parents swinging due to online posting. Given my kids age, I can promise you they aren't going to learn that way. But one day, if they do, so what? I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm not cheating. He's not cheating. 90% of the time its something we share, and I'm not ashamed of enjoying women too.

[bentnotbroken]

I think it's sad that someone who once loved a man has allowed herself to be reduced to the cruelty this shows.

:lmao::lmao::lmao:This was my laugh for the day. Thank you. The thread about the BS trying to commit suicide got me down. But this perked me up. BS are damned if they do or damned if they don't, especially when they don't lie down and fit the role of self sacrificing,for the good of the children and the future relationship with WS schema.

[bentnotbroken]

If I had a chance to get alimony from my ex I would have turned it down because despite everything I still want her to have a nice life. I actually feel guilt about calling the cops after the shooting because I know being in prison has probably messed her up for life. Despite my bitterness I am not a vindictive person and once a person is no longer a threat I don't care anymore.

 

Quite honestly I just see this as gender biased cheerleading.

 

 

Woggle you aren't capable of seeing it or anything else as anything other than gender biases....:DGod love ya.

[crazycatlady]

Did you even read what I posted? I didn't say the daughter read it on LS! I said the mom posted a thread here about being ashamed and horrified that her daughter found out! Obviously one would have to have shame to be ashamed, so I guess that wouldn't mean anything to you.

 

I usually use the word site when talking about a different site. Given how many different forums there are on here, I assumed (wrongly but hey, I can admit to being wrong) you meant a different forum since swinging is not infidelity and it comes up in both the sex forum and the marriage forum on a fairly regular basis.

 

Shame implies I'm doing something wrong. I wouldn't be doing it if I felt it was wrong. I don't do anything I would be ashamed of. I did once when I was 21, and have some mild regret for my behavior, but I learned not to ever compromise my beliefs of right and wrong. Having different beliefs from you on that subject does not make you right and myself wrong. Unlike most moralists, I am quite content to let people live their lives as they choose. As for this woman in your "story", it is on them to not do it, no one is holding a gun to their head and making them participate.

[NoIDidn't]

:lmao::lmao::lmao:This was my laugh for the day. Thank you. The thread about the BS trying to commit suicide got me down. But this perked me up. BS are damned if they do or damned if they don't, especially when they don't lie down and fit the role of self sacrificing,for the good of the children and the future relationship with WS schema.

 

I agree. The BS is always expected to be a saint and let the vile behavior of others affect them negatively and never get angry and do something about it.

 

Even when its perfectly legal, people still seem to think the BS is just going to walk away and never exact anything on the person that wasted their lives - often for years.

 

I imagine in the case mentioned in this thread that they had been married for many years and the woman endured much mistreatment during the course of this M before deciding that enough was enough.

 

I think some women hate getting a man that has financial obligations to an ex. I can't say I blame them, as I wouldn't like that either. But it isn't their fault that the man merged his "company" with his ex's only to break the agreement. Marriage is as much a legal contract as it is a R. No one would let a business partner defraud them without getting back what is legally theirs, so why do people expect spouses to let the other spouse defraud them.

 

Fraud is cruel. Far more cruel than taking some cheater to the cleaners in a divorce.

[jamesum]

He cheated so no sympathy from me.

 

Although I dont understand why rich men who arent ready for commitment get married in the first place.

[Woggle]

Woggle you aren't capable of seeing it or anything else as anything other than gender biases....:DGod love ya.

 

Because in modern day relationships most things are about gender. There is no way a betrayed man would ever get cheered on like this. Both genders pretty much cheated on equally these days but men get labeled as the villian no matter which side of the coin we are on.

[silktricks]

So basically its all her fault? This is one of the craziest statements I have ever heard in my short time at LS. The woman was cuckolded by her husband and you're saying she shouldn't celebrate divorcing a cheater? So what if she brags. I'm sure every couple that divorced in this world has bragged at least once about leaving their horrible spouse.

 

Does not imply fair? If taking money from a cheating spouse isn't fair then how about you give us a suggestion on how she could've handled the problem, since its her fault and the evil one.

I never said she was evil, I said she seemed cruel. I don't think gloating over "taking him to the cleaners" is good. I don't think gloating is good, period.

 

As for your "basically it's all her fault" statement, I'm not sure what you are alluding to. Is it her fault he cheated? Of course not. Is it her fault that she allowed his actions to affect her behavior? Yes. If we each aren't in control of our own behavior, then who is?

 

:lmao::lmao::lmao:This was my laugh for the day. Thank you. The thread about the BS trying to commit suicide got me down. But this perked me up. BS are damned if they do or damned if they don't, especially when they don't lie down and fit the role of self sacrificing,for the good of the children and the future relationship with WS schema.

I don't think that BS are damned, period. However, I think it's every bit as sad that the BS apparently allowed herself to become a gloating cruel woman as that the WS cheated.

 

But what if the woman was a stay at home mom, as agreed upon by the both of them, and he amassed a small fortune. Is she now supposed to live like a pauper?

Of course not. Why ever would you think that I would think that? She should get half of everything they amassed over their years together. If they amassed a lot, she should get a lot. But she shouldn't get an unfair amount.

 

Cruel may create cruel in some people. I say that it's sad for the person who allows it to happen them.

 

Don't get me wrong, I'm not in any way condoning his actions, but I think the mental health of women in general is not helped by a cheering section of "You go girl, get him back". I believe strongly that people can be better people, not worse - though I've got to admit that reading this thread makes me pretty sad.

[crazycatlady]

I have no trouble with you or anyone else passing judgement on me as a moralist. I am more than comfortable in my spirituality and my belief in God that shows me right from wrong.

 

The difference is I didn't pass judgement on you until you passed it on me. You ignored the majority of what I had to say here except to harp on the fact that I have an open marriage. Sounds like the problem therefore lies with you.

 

And yeah, I do think its women like you, and the rest of the cheerleaders in this thread that give women a bad name like Woggle says. I do think if it were reversed you might say "oh that is bad good of the man to get out" but you certainly wouldn't be crowing from the rafters going "get her, dude!" like you were this woman.

 

No one wants to touch that there are different forms of cheating. Perhaps this woman after her children were born (and given her age and the fact they are adults now) basicaly told her exH that she never wanted sex again. That's cheating. Or maybe she harped up one side and down the other about how worthless he was because he didn't do what she wanted. That's another form of cheating. But you won't talk about this because you don't think its worse then the physical act. But emotional cheting is still cheating and those are forms of that. It doesn't make it right but it makes BOTH guilty.

 

But no...alll you want to talk about is the fact that at times, maybe two or thre times a year we invite a woman into our bed with us.

[donnamaybe]

However, I think it's every bit as sad that the BS apparently allowed herself to become a gloating cruel woman as that the WS cheated.

Perhaps she has NOT become a "gloating cruel woman." She MAY be one of the most wonderful women in the world, kind to everyone who hasn't shyte on her.

[bentnotbroken]

Because in modern day relationships most things are about gender. There is no way a betrayed man would ever get cheered on like this. Both genders pretty much cheated on equally these days but men get labeled as the villian no matter which side of the coin we are on.

 

 

I know Woggle:rolleyes:same song, same dance. :love: