"I took him to the cleaners"

[Dexter Morgan]

I wonder if people would be cheering on a man who did this to a cheating wife?

 

I know someone whose cheating wife didn't get a dime of his retirement. All she got was half of the money in the checking and savings account.

 

He also go a quit claim deed on the house. Why? because she smoked pot and did a few other things when out screwing another guy. Him and his attorney threatened a drug test. She would have lost a half way decent job in a bad economy if they would have gotten that test. Scared her sh#tless....so she settled.

[NancyBotwin]

I wonder if people would be cheering on a man who did this to a cheating wife?

I would. A cheater is a cheater.

[Woggle]

I would. A cheater is a cheater.

 

My ex wife cheated on me and nothing whatsoever in the divorce mostly because she was caught lying about being abused in court? Do you think this is a good thing?

[seren]

Personally speaking, had H and I decided to divorce because of the A, I would have expected nothing more than half of everything we had. Nothing more. I don't see why I should be expected to take it all and my pride would stop me doing anything else, besides, I have always earned more and could have supported myself, even if I didn't, I wouldn't have taken more than half.

[bentnotbroken]

I wonder if people would be cheering on a man who did this to a cheating wife?

 

 

Absofreakinglutely!!!!!:bunny:

[Joe Normal]

I overheard this today. Actually, I didn't really overhear, she intentionally said it loud enough for everyone to hear..

 

"I'm moving back home. My husband got caught with his mistress, and I took him to the cleaners! He had a $900,000 retirement account, and guess who got all of it? I did! And guess who got everything else? She (the mistress) tried to tell me that he was divorced, but I didn't believe any of it. I've bought a nice new car, and a nice new home. With everything I got, I am set for life. I got it all, and she got a big sack of sh-, well, nothin!"

 

Anyway, I thought some might get a kick out of that.

 

Not that I'm one to side with cheaters, but how did she get the whole retirement account? Normally the most that happens is a 50/50 split.

[Thorgs]

He and the marriage were important to me. HE TOOK THAT . His money is important to him. I'M TAKING IT. All that I can. And you know what??? I DONT NEED IT.

Send some to this poor guy!

 

I agree though, cheaters should be taken for as much as you can get.

[Summer Breeze]

I overheard this today. Actually, I didn't really overhear, she intentionally said it loud enough for everyone to hear..

 

"I'm moving back home. My husband got caught with his mistress, and I took him to the cleaners! He had a $900,000 retirement account, and guess who got all of it? I did! And guess who got everything else? She (the mistress) tried to tell me that he was divorced, but I didn't believe any of it. I've bought a nice new car, and a nice new home. With everything I got, I am set for life. I got it all, and she got a big sack of sh-, well, nothin!"

 

Anyway, I thought some might get a kick out of that.

 

You heard what she wanted everyone around her to hear. Do you really think she's going to say I was in court today and it's all 50/50? No. If she was yelling from the rooftops enough for strangers to hear her business you were seeing a mask.

 

There's no one who will come out with nothing. Elin got a huge chunk of Tiger's wedge but I'm sure the guy's well sorted beyond that.

 

Sorry don't buy it and since no one has any idea her involvement (prior affairs, state of the marriage etc) then I wouldn't cheer her on. I'd probably roll my eyes and dismiss her as protesting too much. The people who talk the loudest and most are normally working the hardest to cover things up.

[cavedweller]

Not that I'm one to side with cheaters, but how did she get the whole retirement account? Normally the most that happens is a 50/50 split.

Joe, I would say that there were a lot of other assets..ie: real estate, business, stocks, ect. ect. that he received in the divorce..Divorce judges deal with this stuff every day..I would guess he got 50%..Just my 2 cents..

[bentnotbroken]

You heard what she wanted everyone around her to hear. Do you really think she's going to say I was in court today and it's all 50/50? No. If she was yelling from the rooftops enough for strangers to hear her business you were seeing a mask.

 

There's no one who will come out with nothing. Elin got a huge chunk of Tiger's wedge but I'm sure the guy's well sorted beyond that.

 

Sorry don't buy it and since no one has any idea her involvement (prior affairs, state of the marriage etc) then I wouldn't cheer her on. I'd probably roll my eyes and dismiss her as protesting too much. The people who talk the loudest and most are normally working the hardest to cover things up.

 

 

You don't have to buy it. Doesn't mean it's not true. It just means you would rather believe it is not. I told it to whoever would listen. It was payback, vindication, justice and I wanted anyone who may be in the same situation to know it is possible get what you believe you deserve. Since we know there is no scientific proof of those who talk the loudest are covering anything, we say your opinion is valid for you.

 

There are a lot of men and women who do come out with nothing more than the debt accrued during the marriage.

[Summer Breeze]

You don't have to buy it. Doesn't mean it's not true. It just means you would rather believe it is not. I told it to whoever would listen. It was payback, vindication, justice and I wanted anyone who may be in the same situation to know it is possible get what you believe you deserve. Since we know there is no scientific proof of those who talk the loudest are covering anything, we say your opinion is valid for you.

As are 99% of all posts, including this one of yours. I wouldn't rather belive it isn't. It's nothing to me. I know that when I was a BS I told my friends and some family members but I wasn't out in public saying things loudly enough for perfect strangers to hear my business. That would have spoken volumes about me, not him.

 

 

There are a lot of men and women who do come out with nothing more than the debt accrued during the marriage.

Sorry. Not buying that for a second. I know what my lawyers said to me in the States (and it involved 3 different states because of properties) and there was nothing less than a 50/50 split unless it was agreed upon by both parties. We could have done a crap shoot and gone to the judge but they seldom sway too far from 50/50 unless it's based on income or alimony. It woud have had nada to do with his infidelity. I work for a family lawyer now in a 4th state and it's the case there. Maybe every single one of the other states are different to that though. I can only speak of my experiences.

 

My answers in bold (except what bnb bolded in her post)

[NancyBotwin]

Um, are there some sour grapes, or are some of you not reading all of the posts? Let me repeat: WE DO NOT LIVE IN A NO FAULT STATE! It is highly likely (probable) that she sued him for divorce on the grounds of adultery, and it's likely she was awarded more than 50%.

 

But the main point is... SHE got what SHE wanted! Who cares if it was 50, 60, 90%? How many times do we hear of people finding out their spouse cheated, and then to add insult to injury, they are not happy with the divorce settlement?

 

So yeah, I'll cheer her on. She took out the trash, and has a little spending money too!

[bentnotbroken]

My answers in bold (except what bnb bolded in her post)

 

 

And it is different in each state. And in some cases each region where judges believe in good ole boy justice. Whether it is legal or not, I don't' know I don't have that experience. Being in public speaking of your private business is no less character damaging than sleeping with someone else's spouse. So let it speak volumes. I didn't speak quietly, but I did keep my panties up. I do accept it is possible you don't live in one of the poorer states of nation where the debt typically outweighs any assets. So the debts are what are split 50/50.

[bentnotbroken]

Um, are there some sour grapes, or are some of you not reading all of the posts? Let me repeat: WE DO NOT LIVE IN A NO FAULT STATE! It is highly likely (probable) that she sued him for divorce on the grounds of adultery, and it's likely she was awarded more than 50%.

 

But the main point is... SHE got what SHE wanted! Who cares if it was 50, 60, 90%? How many times do we hear of people finding out their spouse cheated, and then to add insult to injury, they are not happy with the divorce settlement?

 

So yeah, I'll cheer her on. She took out the trash, and has a little spending money too!

 

 

Cheering LOUDLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:bunny::bunny:

[michelangelo]

Unless she is of retirement age if she is tapping that account (presuming a pension or 401k plan), that spending of it is expensive!

 

10 percent penalty for early withdrawal in addition to taxes on her current rate.

[Woggle]

I know people say otherwise but if she had a MLC affair and dumped him for the OM I seriously doubt he would be getting cheered on like this. I am sorry but this is about gender and cheering on women who got one over on a man.

[BlackLovely]

I'd say he got the better deal. I'd pay anything to get rid of a nasty woman like that.

Yes, what a nasty woman she is, being happy that her cheating hubby has to pay for his actions. What an evil bitch! LOL

 

Uh, what about the unfaithful husband? What kind of man is he?

[BlackLovely]

I know people say otherwise but if she had a MLC affair and dumped him for the OM I seriously doubt he would be getting cheered on like this. I am sorry but this is about gender and cheering on women who got one over on a man.

Woggle, even taking a **** is about gender for you. When I read your posts, I can't help but compare you to extremist feminists who hate all men. This kind of zealotry only makes you look very silly and indoctrinated.

[Woggle]

Woggle, even taking a **** is about gender for you. When I read your posts, I can't help but compare you to extremist feminists who hate all men. This kind of zealotry only makes you look very silly and indoctrinated.

 

You can't talk about modern relationships without talking about gender wars and much of this thread is just about gender cheerleading. It has a you go girl type of feel to it.

[crazycatlady]

I know people say otherwise but if she had a MLC affair and dumped him for the OM I seriously doubt he would be getting cheered on like this. I am sorry but this is about gender and cheering on women who got one over on a man.

 

Woggle - I think you are right here. Men who are cheated on aren't cheered on like this when it comes to divorce. G

 

Personally I feel this type of attitude in divorce is nasty. It turns my stomach and does make me reguard the person (if I know them) in a lesser manner.

 

Yes the cheater broke your heart....it should be hurt the person is feeling, not anger. If its anger.....I sometimes wonder if the BS also cheated in some manner - lack of affection, lack of attention, checked out emotionally long ago....I feel that is just as much of a cheat as an affair. Though I know that is not a popular belief.

 

CCL

[BlackLovely]

Woggle - I think you are right here. Men who are cheated on aren't cheered on like this when it comes to divorce. G

 

Personally I feel this type of attitude in divorce is nasty. It turns my stomach and does make me reguard the person (if I know them) in a lesser manner.

 

Yes the cheater broke your heart....it should be hurt the person is feeling, not anger. If its anger.....I sometimes wonder if the BS also cheated in some manner - lack of affection, lack of attention, checked out emotionally long ago....I feel that is just as much of a cheat as an affair. Though I know that is not a popular belief.

 

CCL

 

Let me get this straight: you believe that if a BS is angry about the affair, it means they contributed to it? That is some faulty reasoning. Feeling angry at spousal deception is a normal and understandable response.

[Woggle]

Let me get this straight: you believe that if a BS is angry about the affair, it means they contributed to it? That is some faulty reasoning. Feeling angry at spousal deception is a normal and understandable response.

 

Betrayed men get blamed all the time so why not start looking at what women do to contribute to it?

[bentnotbroken]

Betrayed men get blamed all the time so why not start looking at what women do to contribute to it?

 

 

Men don't contribute to the poor coping skills of women who cheat and women don't contribute to the poor coping skills of men who cheat. I believe the consequences of ALL our actions doesn't lend an excuse for one to cheat. There are b**chy women and d**kwad men:sick:, they still don't deserve to be cheated on. And I think if a cheater is taught a legal lesson (man or woman) I am doing cartwheels that they got what they earned.

[Hazyhead]

Men don't contribute to the poor coping skills of women who cheat and women don't contribute to the poor coping skills of men who cheat. I believe the consequences of ALL our actions doesn't lend an excuse for one to cheat. There are b**chy women and d**kwad men:sick:, they still don't deserve to be cheated on. And I think if a cheater is taught a legal lesson (man or woman) I am doing cartwheels that they got what they earned.

 

Love this BNB

 

I think we gotta accept the consequences of our actions. He cheated and a consequence of that is divorce and loss of funds. He knew that before he did it (unless he's a completely thick 'd**kwad' - which, with all that pension, I doubt) so, tough stuff.

 

Take responsibility for oneself.

[crazycatlady]

Let me get this straight: you believe that if a BS is angry about the affair, it means they contributed to it? That is some faulty reasoning. Feeling angry at spousal deception is a normal and understandable response.

 

I believe there are other ways to cheat on your partner then just boinking another person or emotionally boinking another person. If you withdrawl emotionally, you are cheating. If you withdrawl sexually, you are cheating, if you change and become cold to them, you are cheating. All those are forms of cheating in my book, not just boinking someone else.

 

I'm not saying it makes cheating right, but if one cheats in any form, there are consequences to those actions. And I think its simplistic to say its totally one person's fault. And in most situations, if the victum is that angry then they blame themselves in some form or another - either for putting up with that other person's BS for that long, or because they know deep down they did something to contribute.

 

I wasn't angry to discover my spouse cheating. My first response to find out was intense pain unlike anything I had ever felt again. I had a few moments of being a little mad, but the majority of the emotions was pain. I talked to a lot of people about it, the majority of the ones who have what I would consider to be good marriages (where one side isn't cheating in my mind in some way since I do feel cheating is more then simply affairs) when we talked about it those people understood my intense pain and lack of anger....The others however were all wondering why my strongest emotion wasn't anger which got me thinking about when I do get intensely angry.

 

The times I get intensely angry is when I either lack control, and I never lacked control because I am more then capable of living on my own without him or when I somehow screwed up and just want to deny it.

 

That doesn't matter because I find gloating over revenge of any sort to be tasteless. I find enjoyment at making someone pay to be disturbing. I can understand celebrating a divorce that finally allows you to move on with your life, but gloating over getting every last cent from them? No I have little respect for that person. I mean going around and gloating and telling people not involved just to gloat and getting a rush out of it. That is tasteless. The woman talked about in the opening post is vulgar. Angry or not, deserved or not, wanting to hurt the other person where it matters is revenge, something we all think about, but I think acting on it lowers who we are. I don't want to be with someone who lessens themself on purpose to hurt someone they use to love.

 

That's why divorce is so bitter....and why children get so hurt. People who think like that seem to have no trouble involving their kids.

 

 

CCL