Not Going to Breast-Feed

[JamesM]

Wow, I am amazed at the intensity here.

 

I have mixed feelings. As a guy, I can only say what we did with our children.

 

We did both. The first was breastfed. He was not sick for his first year, but he experienced alot of colic (sp). It was the most difficult year of our baby years. The second and third were breastfed for the first six months and they were sick before they were a year old. However, both were easy and had no stomach problems. The fourth was bottle fed. None are smarter than the other because of being breastfed. All are doing well in school.

 

It can be more convenient to breastfeed because there is no need to warm up bottles. When you are out and the baby needs to be fed, the supply is at hand. However, in the middle of the night, I didn't need to get up to feed....my wife did. I know my wife preferred to breast feed because of convenience. She also enjoyed the extra connection she had with them.

 

As a comparison, I have a sister who did not breast feed any of hers. She has a very high IQ and had scholarships for all of her college. BTW, SHE was bottle fed. Her children have not lost any of her intelligence. The oldest is at the top of her class, and the youngest was advanced a grade.

 

I think too many people get overly bent out of shape over this, but having researched it, I do think that nutritionally, breast milk is better. And if it can be done for the first few months, then the most benefit is gained during that time.

 

Personally, I think I would suggest that you do not make a firm decision yet. Wait to see how you feel at the time. This is a decision that can be reversed and changed. You can start out with bottles or breast and switch and then switch back again. As you get to know your baby, you can decide what is best for him.

 

BTW, if your baby has stomach problems from one formula (or as in our case from breast milk and then formula) then by all means do some research and choose a different formula. Assume that it can be fixed. With our first we did not. With our last, who had the same problem, we switched formula and that child was a much happier child for us doing so.

 

Good luck on what you decide. The only caveat I would add is...do what is best for Bump and not you. I know you will once you see him. And using forumula may actually best for him.

[Art_Critic]

My wife made the choice to not breast feed..

It was great choice although a quite expensive one when he wound up with a milk allergy and had to have the 6.00+ a day soy formula.

 

She did the damp/cold cabbage leaves when she came home from the hospital so her breast milk wouldn't come in... worked like a charm

 

I think looking back in hindsight I can't imagine her having to also deal with breastfeeding..

The reflux issue was pretty bad for about 6-8 weeks and didn't go away till around the 5 month mark, with all the medicine that would go in each bottle and others that he took... He even slept on his mattress elevated at 40 degrees..

 

His Ped put him on a soy formula and if you do the research the formulas that are out there are plenty good enough for proper nutrition.

 

Today.. at 2 years old he loves his milk.. full of fat and hasn't been off formula for 8 months and he stopped bottle feeding about then to..

 

He drinks his milk from a sippy cup and he also stopped using pacifiers about 8 months ago too..

Edited February 18, 2010 by Art_Critic

[threebyfate]

James, my decision has been made. I`m not going to breastfeed.

 

Thanks for the soy tip A_C.

 

One thing I will share, is that my mother breast-fed all four of us for varying lengths of time. I was breast fed the longest and was also the only child who ended up with allergies to this day, and also, had childhood rheumatoid arthritis, which went away on its own, not that it ever stopped me from being a hyper-active little git!

[crazycatlady]

You wanted a story that regrets bottle feeding. I did one each way because I couldn't get nursing to work with my daughter and didn't get the help I needed and was pushed to give her a bottle early on because everyone kept telling me she wasn't gaining enough weight. I regret not working harder on nursing. I regret that I let my unease ruin it. I hated the bottle. i hated the mess it was, how time consuming, I was always tired, she and I were not well bonded in the beginning and for two years she was a very clingy needy child.

 

I nursed my son for 8 months when he had 8 teeth and used them they hurt so we stopped but I had wanted to go the full year. I was rested, healthier, we were better bonded, both of us slept better, he was very independant from a young age, never took a pacifier, had less spit up.

 

If I lost my mind and had a third child, I would nurse. I did't mind nursing in public, I never flashed a boob except when some jacka/ss yanked my blanket off so he could see my baby without even asking. Most people had no clue I was even nursing and just thought he was sleeping. We also had to live in a hotel for a month when he was between 8 and 12 weeks old, doing bottles then would have been a freaking nightmare anyway.

 

Both kids are equally healthy - though I did nurse the first 4 weeks which might be it. Both kids are equally smart - one is in gifted classes because his way of thinking was so out there that he needed them, the other so far has been capable of staying in the regular classroom the whole time and being pushed to achieve higher. They both are perfectly proportioned (that's for the study that bottle fed babies are fatter then boob babies). In the end its your choice. You wanted someone who regretted the bottle. I regretted the bottle. But maybe its just because I had wanted to nurse and failed. I still regret it. It was a freaking pain in the butt and expensive.

 

Oh first I bought jarred baby food, and the second I made my own too. But I filled landfills. No cloth diapers for me.

 

CCL

[threebyfate]

I'm interested in all bottle feeding stories, whether good or bad, so thanks for your input.

[whichwayisup]

I mean this in a loving way.. But, I think once that baby is born, you'll be all emotional and want to breastfeed, want to feel and share that bond that happens between a mom and her newborn.

 

Just saying, never say never. I know right now you're totally against it, but things can happen, things can change for whatever reason.

 

[threebyfate]

For a number of other baby issues, I'm not so set about. For this one, I won't change my mind wwiu. It's never been of interest to me, to suckle a baby. I can't wait to cuddle Bump but it will be with a bottle.

[JamesM]

Just saying, never say never. I know right now you're totally against it, but things can happen, things can change for whatever reason.

 

 

With the same gentleness, I would have to agree.

 

We had many things that we just knew we would do a certain way prior to children. Some we have kept and others we have changed.

 

Since we actually did both bottles and breast, I can honestly say that there are pros and cons to both. And since you have told us that your mind is made up, then I am truly not posting to change you. After knowing you this long on LS, I certainly have learned that you make decisions carefully and stick to them.

 

Parenting has taught me much about myself, and two things on the list are flexibility and patience.

 

A couple of more things....

1. Babies on formula have a certain smell to them that isn't always pleasing. To this day, I still do not like the smell of formula.

2. The "excrement" of a baby on formula smells worse than one on breast milk. (Of course, you will also learn that YOUR babies never smell as bad as other people's babies. )

 

But....this is also very true. While a mom may bond more when she breastfeeds, it leaves the father out of the picture. When a father feeds his baby with a bottle, it definitely makes him stop, look and listen to his own child. Of course, a breast feeding mom pumps milk so he can bottle feed then, too, but the tendency is to let mom do the feeding and then the father feels left out.

 

I can honestly say after seeing my children develop and watching my nieces and nephews develop, there really is no noticeable difference as they grow.

 

 

Overall, do I think you will be doing Bump a disservice if you choose bottle feeding? No.

 

Do I think it may be better for him? Yes by a small margin.

 

Do I think YOU may find some benefit by breast feeding? Yes.

 

Will your husband find more benefit with bottle feeding? Yes.

 

While your mind is set and I don't think other opinions matter at this point, I cannot help by add to WWIU's comment and say...never say never. Children teach you much about yourself...both good an bad. In a few months, you be a completely different person.

Edited February 18, 2010 by JamesM

[donnamaybe]

CE, totally agree. This is each persons individual choice. Breast feed or not, no concern of anyone else, but to be so condescending as to describe others people choice to breastfeed as an 'outdated social pressure' is incredibly arrogant and offensive. If you don't agree with someone else's choice on issues like this then fine, no need to insult anyone who disagrees with your opinion in this crass, arrogant manner.

 

It's apparently okay to disregard the medical studies that prove the benefits of breast feeding to fit your personal agenda, but to swat a recalcitrant toddler on the booty is "child abuse."

[blind_otter]

I have to agree with JamesM. The only advice I give to expectant mothers nowadays is:

 

1. Sleep while you can. Enjoy sleeping in and luxuriating in the aloneness of having your physical body all to yourself.

 

2. Make plans, but don't set anything in stone because you have no idea what you will feel like when you look into your baby's eyes.

 

I tend to intellectualize things to cope. I research and study and all that. I didn't really bond with my son until he was crowning and I reached down and touched the downy tuft of his hair on the very top of his head. Then, when I held him, everything turned upsidedown.

 

I will say that traveling with a baby who is breastfed is much easier. I was never comfortable NIP (nursing in pubilc), unless I was somewhere that I knew it was openly accepted. But the diaper bag has less rigamarole in it. Lord knows a newborn diaper bag is heavy enough as it is. And I didn't mind sitting in my car to nurse. I listened to music and locked the doors.

 

I think in general, when you have a child, you must learn to be flexible, or you will spend a lot of time getting frustrated, butting heads, and having power struggles. This especially apparent during the toddler years (from my experience) and teen years (from what I hear).

[threebyfate]

There's no doubt I'll learn things after Bump is born. He, like every other baby I've been close to, will have his own unique personality and preferences, which for some things, will be his way and others, won't be his way.

 

But...

 

He will be bottle fed and that's no speculation.

 

Anyways, anyone else have any stories about bottle feeding? I'm curious to read more from members who have bottle feeding stories.

[threebyfate]

Does anyone else have any bottle feeding stories? Thanks.

[Star Gazer]

Well, I've obviously never had a baby, so I can't provide personal experiences, BUT I totally get where you're coming from. Something about the idea of putting my boob in a baby's mouth (even my own!) just seems creepy to me. Plus, pumping and then storing your milk... is just... not right. Part of me feels horrible for saying that, but I can't help feeling that way.

 

On the other hand, the benefits to the baby are great, as to your own body (weightloss is highly accelerated when BFing, but you probably won't need that). And then there's the whole bonding thing... I've heard about that, but I don't know that I've ever actually read any studies or anything.

 

All in all, I think it's a personal decision, both having nearly equal pros and cons. If anything, I think any guilt a mother feels from choosing to not breastfeed is brought on herself. So just don't let others influence you.

 

That said, two co-workers have chosen to bottle-feed ALL of their children, and they seem to be doing just fine. It's also helped the fathers be more involved, as they don't have to rely on a boob to feed their child.

[OnlyJake]

I don't have children, but if/when I ever do have them, I will not breast feed them.

 

My mother did not breast feed any of her children, and we are all very healthy and intelligent (I think those are the two things I hear about most when mothers brag or guilt trip others about breastfeeding ). Our entire lives we have rarely gotten sick, even colds, and we are all above average in intelligence (intelligence being, IQ tests, standardized tests that include everything from ITBS in elementary school, to SATs in high school, to GREs and LSATs post-grad; all top of our classes in high school and college, etc.). The bonding thing? Eh. You don't need to breast feed to bond with your child. We are all emotionally stable, healthy and independent individuals.

 

My mother also likes to tell stories about how even as a baby she and I did not get along, and I refused to let her feed me - it had to be my dad with a bottle feeding me.

[Art_Critic]

Do you have a source or is it just your opinion? Disagreeing with the results of something does not make it false.

 

Maybe before you all jump on a source and consider it the best thing since sliced bread you should understand the source you posted..

 

I got this from the about us on the .org's webpage..

Our principles:

 

We're for profit but we don't exist only to make money. Because of this, we pledge the highest ethics. We won't advertise lucrative products, like baby formula. We will not accept any sponsorship that directly or indirectly interferes with our mission or compromises our ethics.

 

That source posted is TOTALLY biased against formula and therefore is not a viable source for comparing formula vs breastmilk..

 

Sorry.. I only looked into it because it went against what I know of or have heard about the comparisons.. and it's a good thing I did .. huh ???..

Edited February 19, 2010 by Art_Critic

[Art_Critic]

 

You failed to post anything to refute the source.

 

I didn't have to since they refuted their own data on their own webpage.. duh !!

[Art_Critic]

You don't agree with the source so you are making things up.

 

Now I posted an additional source and you didn't refute that either.

 

That's nuts..

 

I posted my and my wifes own experience with bottle feeding and that is all the OP was looking for..

 

Take your agenda elsewhere or start your own thread...

 

by the way.. everyone can use google

[JamesM]

That source posted is TOTALLY biased against formula and therefore is not a viable source for comparing formula vs breastmilk..

 

 

Actually, one could argue that they have that stance because of the studies...not that the studies are biased because of their stance.

 

I do not have a strong opinion on either position, but I also think it is unfair to discredit any study because of who did it or who is reporting it. We have it all of the time because of funding and personal opinions of the researchers.

 

Personally, I think one's own experiences are usually better than a study anyhow. Since I have seen both sides and witnessed both methods, I see only a slight favor towards breast feeding based on personal experiences.

[Art_Critic]

You haven't mentioned any organization that disagrees.

 

That's because the OP wasn't asking for a debate taken to the level you are taking it to..

 

She was asking for peoples insights that had bottle fed and I gave that.. I have NEVER given my opinion on what I feel is better and the OP wasn't looking for links to show the pros and cons either..

[tinktronik]

The thread is about breastfeeding. Mentioning what four major agencies say about brestfeeding is perfectly valid. You have yet to refute my argument.

 

You questioned the credibility of the source and I replied. In fact, I posted a second source agreeing with it.

 

This post isn't about breastfeeding...It's about NOT breastfeeding.

 

While I don't get why the OP needs opinions that will mirror her own that's what she's asking for.

 

I breast fed. It was just so much darn easier.

 

Good luck with whatever you choose OP. It is a very personal choice.

[threebyfate]

I'm interested in all bottle feeding stories, whether good or bad, so thanks for your input.

 

This post isn't about breastfeeding...It's about NOT breastfeeding.

 

While I don't get why the OP needs opinions that will mirror her own that's what she's asking for.

 

I breast fed. It was just so much darn easier.

 

Good luck with whatever you choose OP. It is a very personal choice.

tink, you might have missed this clarification post. This is why I want to hear from people who've bottle fed. Their experiences both positive and negative.

 

Thanks to everyone for their input but once again, this thread isn't a debate thread about one v. the other kind of baby feeding. It's about what parents have experienced with bottle feeding.

[laRubiaBonita]

It's also helped the fathers be more involved, as they don't have to rely on a boob to feed their child.

 

:lmao: who you calling a boob? (couldn't help it!)

[tinktronik]

tink, you might have missed this clarification post. This is why I want to hear from people who've bottle fed. Their experiences both positive and negative.

 

Thanks to everyone for their input but once again, this thread isn't a debate thread about one v. the other kind of baby feeding. It's about what parents have experienced with bottle feeding.

 

Ahh. I see.

 

I tried to supplement bottle feed my middle son but he had digestive problems with the formula and ended up with excema covering his whole body and I had to coat him up in this goopy stuff. That goopy stuff was great for the skin [wish I had some now for myself]. It also caused some digestive problems and he had a lot of pain trying to have a BM, he would cry and cry... It broke my heart. Removing the formula ended the digestive and skin issues. I stopped supplementing and just went with the breast until he hit about 9 months.

[silverfish]

Ahh. I see.

 

I tried to supplement bottle feed my middle son but he had digestive problems with the formula and ended up with excema covering his whole body and I had to coat him up in this goopy stuff. That goopy stuff was great for the skin [wish I had some now for myself]. It also caused some digestive problems and he had a lot of pain trying to have a BM, he would cry and cry... It broke my heart. Removing the formula ended the digestive and skin issues. I stopped supplementing and just went with the breast until he hit about 9 months.

 

Ah yes....I remember now that there were occasionally constipation issues with my first bottle fed baby. I discovered that the cause was my MIL putting 'extra' formula in his bottle....common practise in the 1960s apparently....erk

[2sure]

I only breast fed for about 8 weeks because it became too much for me when I went back to work.

 

But I'll tell you that its true - when you breast feed the weight just falls right off! It was very convenient to feed my daughter but I always worried because I didnt know how much she was getting...needlessly.