dreamergrl Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 Another misread. Why would I be leading him on? I was willing to go on a second date at that time to see if sparks grow. Not like it was 'oh, i dont like this guy at all but I will go out with him again just to use him and then dispose of him.' I don't date to just kill time....I date to find the right person. He was not this person. But the sparks weren't there, so at that point it was a friendship. You want him to pay for a friendship. Because by not being generous, he killed whatever interest I had to begin with. But in the end, we just arent' compatible anyway it seems and he needs a girl like you who doesnt mind splitting or paying more. The point of dating is to put your best forward and to impress the girl. Finally, you admit it. Because he didn't pay, didn't give you what you wanted, you dumped him. Because paying for your meal is the deal breaker. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
harmfulsweetz Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 Because by not being generous, he killed whatever interest I had to begin with. But in the end, we just arent' compatible anyway it seems and he needs a girl like you who doesnt mind splitting or paying more. The point of dating is to put your best forward and to impress the girl. And the guy doesn't need impressing? Sorry, but why is it that the onus falls on the man every time? Chatting a woman up, asking her out, paying for date, impressing the girl, why can't a woman also reciprocate this? Why do women feel entitled to a free date? It's not about equality one iota, it's about mutual effort and respect. I don't want to date a guy and expect him to pay my way as well as his, I expect us to be even, or at least to discuss it casually, and find a compromise which works for both. If he's adamant to pay, so be it, I'm down with that. If he'd like to go dutch, good with me. I wouldn't allow such a pathetic thing cloud my decision. It's not about generosity, is it? It's about people thinking that they are entitled to a man paying their way, and are happy to milk it. It's up to you, and that's fine, that's how you like it, but don't play games and expect a man to pass it when he doesn't even know he's playing. Link to post Share on other sites
homersheineken Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 Another misread. Why would I be leading him on? I was willing to go on a second date at that time to see if sparks grow. Not like it was 'oh, i dont like this guy at all but I will go out with him again just to use him and then dispose of him.' I don't date to just kill time....I date to find the right person. He was not this person. If you went on a 2nd date with him, would you expect him to pay? Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 That is the point exactly! A date is set to see if you are compatible ... a guy who lets me pay on the first date is not compatible with with me as to ME he is cheap! I am sorry but it is how I see it. I can get over alot of things but cheapness is a deal breaker It is the same as not seeing a guy again as his breathe stank or he was rude ... everyone has deal breakers and that is one of mine! Link to post Share on other sites
harmfulsweetz Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 Another misread. Why would I be leading him on? I was willing to go on a second date at that time to see if sparks grow. Not like it was 'oh, i dont like this guy at all but I will go out with him again just to use him and then dispose of him.' I don't date to just kill time....I date to find the right person. He was not this person. To be fair, you said you enjoyed his company, there was no spark, to me, that indicates friendship. It's funny though isn't it? If you enjoyed his company so much, then him simply not paying for that portion of the night, killed it and threw it all out the window. Men do not have it easy I tell ya! It's pretty fickle then by that reasoning. You enjoy someone's company, but don't wish to see him again because of a bill. Hm. Lucky escape, who knows what other things you'll find a problem with! Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 Another misread. Why would I be leading him on? I was willing to go on a second date at that time to see if sparks grow. Not like it was 'oh, i dont like this guy at all but I will go out with him again just to use him and then dispose of him.' I don't date to just kill time....I date to find the right person. He was not this person. First rule of fight club ... dont argue against ignorant people as they will always beat you with experience lol They will never get you and will continue to misquote you so I guess you should just unsubscribe from your own thread and just carry on as you are .. I am not the only one on here who agrees with you 100% and you know what, if they dont agree and are willing to pay for men to take them out then kudos to them, it is just not for us eh! If you go out with a guy and he offers to go half with you again then pay the lot and if he asks you out agaian just tell him to save his breathe so he is able to blow up his next date lol Link to post Share on other sites
Clep Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 Because by not being generous, he killed whatever interest I had to begin with. But in the end, we just arent' compatible anyway it seems and he needs a girl like you who doesnt mind splitting or paying more. The point of dating is to put your best forward and to impress the girl. The second bill is the one you paid. The first bill he paid correct? At that point you would have had interest then as he paid, based upon your quoted words. The second place you lost interest after he didn't pay the bill? You are so transparent. The point of dating is to see if there is some mutual chemistry, to see if there are some mutual interests, view points and values. It is to get to know each other a little, not for the man to do all the work and the woman to sit back and enjoy the ride. Each person has a role and it seems to me you are confused as to yours. Link to post Share on other sites
harmfulsweetz Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 That is the point exactly! A date is set to see if you are compatible ... a guy who lets me pay on the first date is not compatible with with me as to ME he is cheap! I am sorry but it is how I see it. I can get over alot of things but cheapness is a deal breaker It is the same as not seeing a guy again as his breathe stank or he was rude ... everyone has deal breakers and that is one of mine! Fair enough I suppose. Like I said, I think a lot of people create deal breakers and they are stupid ones, they let men go who are decent, and could be who they are looking for, they could just prefer going dutch or whatever, all because of a bill. Can anyone else see no logic in that? Sure I get it, every person likes to be treated, but where's the harm in one buying the meal, and the other the dessert? He offered to split, she refused. By reaching for her purse, she indicated interest in paying. It's all about finding compatibilities here, but the problem isn't the bill is it? It's the communication. OP didn't communicate what she wanted well at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Author conehead Posted January 22, 2010 Author Share Posted January 22, 2010 First rule of fight club ... dont argue against ignorant people as they will always beat you with experience lol They will never get you and will continue to misquote you so I guess you should just unsubscribe from your own thread and just carry on as you are .. I am not the only one on here who agrees with you 100% and you know what, if they dont agree and are willing to pay for men to take them out then kudos to them, it is just not for us eh! If you go out with a guy and he offers to go half with you again then pay the lot and if he asks you out agaian just tell him to save his breathe so he is able to blow up his next date lol I agree with you Lishy! It definitely feels pointless discussing it with people who keep misinterpreting Link to post Share on other sites
harmfulsweetz Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 First rule of fight club ... dont argue against ignorant people as they will always beat you with experience lol They will never get you and will continue to misquote you so I guess you should just unsubscribe from your own thread and just carry on as you are .. I am not the only one on here who agrees with you 100% and you know what, if they dont agree and are willing to pay for men to take them out then kudos to them, it is just not for us eh! If you go out with a guy and he offers to go half with you again then pay the lot and if he asks you out agaian just tell him to save his breathe so he is able to blow up his next date lol It's not ignorant at all, it's reading between the lines and taking what she has written throughout the thread, and putting it into words and analyzing it for what it actually means. Link to post Share on other sites
homersheineken Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 That is the point exactly! A date is set to see if you are compatible ... a guy who lets me pay on the first date is not compatible with with me as to ME he is cheap! I am sorry but it is how I see it. I can get over alot of things but cheapness is a deal breaker It is the same as not seeing a guy again as his breathe stank or he was rude ... everyone has deal breakers and that is one of mine! You think you are entitled to a free meal. That is the definition of a gold digger. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 Fair enough I suppose. Like I said, I think a lot of people create deal breakers and they are stupid ones, they let men go who are decent, and could be who they are looking for, they could just prefer going dutch or whatever, all because of a bill. Can anyone else see no logic in that? Sure I get it, every person likes to be treated, but where's the harm in one buying the meal, and the other the dessert? He offered to split, she refused. By reaching for her purse, she indicated interest in paying. It's all about finding compatibilities here, but the problem isn't the bill is it? It's the communication. OP didn't communicate what she wanted well at all. What's amusing is she was testing him to see if he'd pay. For all she knows, he was testing her to see if she was looking for a free meal ticket. For all she knows, he was confused and what she wanted to do. For all she knows, he would have given her all he could in all aspects, but she'll never know. Because she paid for a little over half the night. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 You think you are entitled to a free meal. That is the definition of a gold digger. I actually think a guy should buy me a house and a BMW before he takes me out! Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 What's amusing is she was testing him to see if he'd pay. For all she knows, he was testing her to see if she was looking for a free meal ticket. For all she knows, he was confused and what she wanted to do. For all she knows, he would have given her all he could in all aspects, but she'll never know. Because she paid for a little over half the night. For all we know ... SHE DOESN'T CARE!! He is history! Who cares what he thinks ?? Why discuss a man none of us know? He was cheap and he didnt get a second chance Link to post Share on other sites
homersheineken Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 I actually think a guy should buy me a house and a BMW before he takes me out! Oooh sweeten the pot... What's your number baby? Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 It's not ignorant at all, it's reading between the lines and taking what she has written throughout the thread, and putting it into words and analyzing it for what it actually means. Errrr no you are putting words into her mouth She is telling you what she actually means and you are calling her a liar and re-writing her feelings Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 For all we know ... SHE DOESN'T CARE!! He is history! Who cares what he thinks ?? Why discuss a man none of us know? He was cheap and he didnt get a second chance Wow, there's a nice attitude towards a guy who can't read minds and know that she expected him to buy the whole night. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 Wow, there's a nice attitude towards a guy who can't read minds and know that she expected him to buy the whole night. she expected him to pay for the things he suggested doing! Come in its like me buying you a £10 bag of sweets and then manipulating you into buying me a £20 bag back even though you didnt suggest it in the first place The guy was cheap! Link to post Share on other sites
harmfulsweetz Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 Errrr no you are putting words into her mouth She is telling you what she actually means and you are calling her a liar and re-writing her feelings Course I am. Simply because I disagree with her, doesn't mean I'm calling her a liar or putting words into her mouth. I am actually speaking the truth, she wants a guy to pay, why put your card on the table? Baffling how she just expects him to work her out! Show me one post I have made calling her a liar, or actually implying it. I am suggesting certain ideas which seem bonkers to me, based upon what she herself wrote. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 she expected him to pay for the things he suggested doing! Come in its like me buying you a £10 bag of sweets and then manipulating you into buying me a £20 bag back even though you didnt suggest it in the first place The guy was cheap! Speaking of ignorance... You are just assuming he did it to be cheap. Heaven forbid he wasn't sure what to do when it looked as though she wanted to pay when she dug in her purse. Link to post Share on other sites
jw90063 Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 First rule of fight club ... dont argue against ignorant people as they will always beat you with experience lol Ignorant people eh? Well, good thing you didn't look up the definition of Coneheads..... http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/conehead Maybe 95% of the people who disagree with the OP and you(Lish)should unsubscribe from this thread. I don't think those who disagree are being ignorant. Just shows they tend to be more practical and courteous towards others. I think it does require some intellect as well. I mean seriously, I could understand if the OP's date didn't pay jack, but he DID pay for dinner. He also offered to split the second bill. Is he really that bad of a guy? If conehead is going to ditch him because of this, apparently whatever she did see in him wasn't worth taking a chance. I mean, sounds like she just enjoyed his company, and was simply enjoying a FREE meal. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 Wow, there's a nice attitude towards a guy who can't read minds and know that she expected him to buy the whole night. He must have been pretty thick to not realise she stopped bringing her purse out and then he stopped bringing his wallet out ... He knew what he was doing and he lost out because of it - He played a slow draw and ended up getting the cheapest part of the night, not cool. A REAL man would have insisted Link to post Share on other sites
harmfulsweetz Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 What's amusing is she was testing him to see if he'd pay. For all she knows, he was testing her to see if she was looking for a free meal ticket. For all she knows, he was confused and what she wanted to do. For all she knows, he would have given her all he could in all aspects, but she'll never know. Because she paid for a little over half the night. Exactly. I think he was lucky to escape the games! Why can't people just own it? You want a guy to pay, don't reach for your wallet. You want to go dutch, say so. It's really not hard. And it saves guesswork. Link to post Share on other sites
harmfulsweetz Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 He must have been pretty thick to not realise she stopped bringing her purse out and then he stopped bringing his wallet out ... He knew what he was doing and he lost out because of it - He played a slow draw and ended up getting the cheapest part of the night, not cool. A REAL man would have insisted So he's cheap, desperate and now not a real man? Sorry but where do you get that from? Now who's making assumptions on a guy who hasn't even posted... Oh and he's thick. All this because she chose to play games. It all comes down to preference, and what you judge others by. I choose to judge people on how they actually treat me, not on whether they pay my way or not, but different strokes for different folks. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 He must have been pretty thick to not realise she stopped bringing her purse out and then he stopped bringing his wallet out ... He knew what he was doing and he lost out because of it - He played a slow draw and ended up getting the cheapest part of the night, not cool. A REAL man would have insisted A real woman wouldn't play dumb games, do something she didn't want to do and go whine about it. And yeah, he must be so dumb thinking she wanted to pay when she went for her wallet Damn him for not being able to read her mind! He should go to hell for this! Exactly. I think he was lucky to escape the games! Why can't people just own it? You want a guy to pay, don't reach for your wallet. You want to go dutch, say so. It's really not hard. And it saves guesswork. Or if you just want to know the deal, have a conversation about it before going. This is why I hate all those "rules". Heaven forbid people just be straight forward and honest these days. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts