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I ended up paying more than him on a first date...is that a big no no?


conehead

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Can anyone come up with something better then "The guy should pay or he's cheap"?

 

He's cheap, she's a gold digger, who cares as long as they're good tippers *polishes glasses*

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I would rather be cheap then played like a sucker by some gold digger. I work hard for my money and women are not just entitled to it.

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hahhaha I think I love you!!!:love:

 

Oh my days ... it's so easy to wind em up and watch em go hahahha Its even funnier to watch women defend men being cheap! I mean, come on ... where is the sister solidarity??!:laugh:

 

The guy should pay! If he doesnt he is a cheap ass dude!!

 

We aren't defending men. We just don't think splitting makes the guy cheap.

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We aren't defending men. We just don't think splitting makes the guy cheap.

 

It shows you do not value yourselves high enough to think that maybe a guy would like to pay for you. Splitting on a FIRST date is cheapness to the highest degree!

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It shows you do not value yourselves high enough to think that maybe a guy would like to pay for you. Splitting on a FIRST date is cheapness to the highest degree!

No, not really, unless you have some strange sense of entitlement. How does it have anything to do with valuing myself?!

I have split on first dates sometimes and other times the guy paid for me. I didn't like the ones who did more for it. The guys who didn't pay for me weren't cheap or low class at all.

So paying or not paying is something that I really don't care about.

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I always offer to pay at least my share of the bill. If a man accepts my offer, that's fine. If a man insists on paying. That is also fine. I don't make any decisions about a man based on how the bill was paid. A few times I have offered to pay the entire bill. A few examples. One time we went to a place that was much closer to me than him. Another time I needed to postpone a date. I paid the bill because he was understanding about that.

 

Also paying for a bill doesn't necessary make him a gentleman. Some men might pay for the bill because they are expecting something ( sex ) in return. I have been on dates where a man paid for the date. But he ended up being a jerk.

 

In the OP's story, he paid for dinner and offered to split the dessert. That doesn't make him cheap. Even if he had wanted her to pay for the dessert, I don't think that would necessary make him cheap. Maybe he felt one person should pay for one portion of the date and the other person should pay for the other portion of the dtae. A difference of $10 shouldn't be a big deal. I think a person would be cheap if he or she expected the other person to pay for the entire date.

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It shows you do not value yourselves high enough to think that maybe a guy would like to pay for you. Splitting on a FIRST date is cheapness to the highest degree!

 

I can't believe you think splitting the bill is cheap, even if on a first date. You don't know if he is cheap from this first date. In this case, her date paid for dinner, and was willing to SPLIT the drinks. I think when someone gets bent out of shape because the guy doesn't pay, this shows they are insecure. They assume the man is cheap and doesn't appreciate them if he doesn't pay. They are looking for validation in the wrong places. Not paying for a drinks and dessert should not be taken as a sign he's a cheap jerk who doesn't appreciate you. He's not valuing you any less, but if you think that, then I honestly don't think you truly value yourself all that much.

 

The OP should have went out with him at least one more time, but that was just dumb to blow him off because of one date, in which he did pay for the main meal.

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It shows you do not value yourselves high enough to think that maybe a guy would like to pay for you. Splitting on a FIRST date is cheapness to the highest degree!

 

You said it Lishy and I agree!

By the way, doll - MUAH!! (Kiss on the cheek to you for being a sweetie!) :love:

 

Onwards-

As a man: if he's into you (or desires you to any level) he'll pay. If not, he is a cheap and less-dignified man.

 

I've never wasted my time with a woman (whom I invited to dinner/lunch) only to have them pay or split the bill!!!

 

It's my job as a man to show her:

"SHES WORTH EVERY PENNY- JUST TO SPEND HER TIME WITH ME."

 

Otherwise, why waste our time together?? :cool:

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omfg, you paid $10 more than him? I think you should spit in his face and break up with that a-hole. Can you believe this guy didn't want to just pay for you all night?

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It shows you do not value yourselves high enough to think that maybe a guy would like to pay for you. Splitting on a FIRST date is cheapness to the highest degree!

 

Your perspective shows me that you do not value others and expect value in return, especially men. I think you are the cheap one and you have a sense of entitlement that is unfounded based upon the words coming out of your mouth. If I read correctly you are single and I am assuming staying that way as the only man that would date you beyond the first date is one with lack of respect for himself. Maybe your name should be Leechy instead of Lishy.

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Oh dear, did I touch some raw nerves?

 

it seems like your nerves were the ones that were touched here.

She is bang on!

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harmfulsweetz
He did more then ofter to split. He paid for the dinner and offered to paid for the second bill. Get over yourself.

 

Besides, if splitting is cheapest to the highest degree, what is not paying for anything at all, because that's what you, OP, and that nut job wanting people to eat her poo is. Seeing how as you don't pay for crap :lmao:

 

:lmao: Indeed she is! I can't get past the hypocrisy of some women on here, they want to pay for nothing at all, but the guy is cheap if he wants to split? Wth?

 

Is it just me or is that the pot calling the kettle black?

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:lmao: Indeed she is! I can't get past the hypocrisy of some women on here, they want to pay for nothing at all, but the guy is cheap if he wants to split? Wth?

 

Is it just me or is that the pot calling the kettle black?

It's not just you.

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I cant help it if I like men to be men! If I was sat there and the bill come and the guy picked up the bill and said "Ok your half is £25.52p"

 

I would pay the whole lot and say "cya"

 

Why? cos he is CHEAP!!

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I cant help it if I like men to be men! If I was sat there and the bill come and the guy picked up the bill and said "Ok your half is £25.52p"

 

I would pay the whole lot and say "cya"

 

Why? cos he is CHEAP!!

 

So with that type of attitude you must then also agree that if a man spends the evening buying a woman dinner, dessert, & drinks he should get something from her in return?

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:lmao: Indeed she is! I can't get past the hypocrisy of some women on here, they want to pay for nothing at all, but the guy is cheap if he wants to split? Wth?

 

Is it just me or is that the pot calling the kettle black?

 

It's not just you at all.

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So with that type of attitude you must then also agree that if a man spends the evening buying a woman dinner, dessert, & drinks he should get something from her in return?

 

Yes I do ... he should get another date and maybe then the woman could pay!

 

You are all so funny and so easy to rile up! :laugh:

 

Why do you care so much what my opinion is? If you girls are happy to be out with a guy who wants you to pay half then its all good! I am not happy with that and that is all there is to it!

 

We all have our own opinions, some of you think I must be a gold digging prostitute and I think some of you dont think highly enough of yourselves BUT in the grand scheme of things its all irrelevant as I wont be dating you so your money is safe lol

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Yes I do ... he should get another date and maybe then the woman could pay!

 

You are all so funny and so easy to rile up! :laugh:

 

Why do you care so much what my opinion is? If you girls are happy to be out with a guy who wants you to pay half then its all good! I am not happy with that and that is all there is to it!

 

We all have our own opinions, some of you think I must be a gold digging prostitute and I think some of you dont think highly enough of yourselves BUT in the grand scheme of things its all irrelevant as I wont be dating you so your money is safe lol

Once again, what does thinking highly of myself have to do with who pays?

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Once again, what does thinking highly of myself have to do with who pays?

 

The same as me being a gold digging prostitute ... its a matter of opinion. Your opinion differs from mine but its cool cos we are not friends and we wont date each other so why throw your dummy out of the pram because of what I think?

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The same as me being a gold digging prostitute ... its a matter of opinion. Your opinion differs from mine but its cool cos we are not friends and we wont date each other so why throw your dummy out of the pram because of what I think?[/quote

 

Your opinions are way off to the point where it's hard not to say something. You are saying a man is cheap if he splits the bill. In the OP's situation, the guy offered to split the bill, because she started to take out her card to pay. I think it would have been better for him to insist on at least splitting since it was $45, but you can honestly say she should dump him over this first date? It's not like he didn't pay for anything at all, or it's not like he didn't offer split the second one. You don't really know he is a cheap person until further pursuing him.

 

Your opinion is your opinion, but the problem is you seem to be set on this guy is extremely cheap and no good........ and EVERY man who doesn't pay the entire bill on first date or whenever is cheap and not datable. It does make you sound like a gold digger to be honest. I think its the way you are putting it.

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You are going to be spending a lot of your life attracting the wrong kind of man with this attitude.

 

To be honest I dont want to attract any kind of man!

 

JW if you read my earlier comments you will see what I mean

 

Anyway I am unsubscribing from this thread now cos its boring me!

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Once again, what does thinking highly of myself have to do with who pays?

 

I guess it has to do with the fact that some value themselves based on the almighty dollar. Rather shallow, in my book.

 

Once again, I have to ask the question in the last paragraph below, since no one answered my following prior post. I assume it was never referred to previously because it so obviously made sense to those who agree with me, and was unable to be refuted by those who do not:

 

This thread has gotten way off track.

 

Women were asked if we did the inviting on the first date, did we pay? I did. He wouldn't let me pay for dinner, but I did pay the tip and buy us drinks. I did, after all, invite him out for dinner.

 

In THIS case, the guy invited the OP out for dinner and then out somewhere else for dessert. He should have offered to pay in that case. It's not like they got together and he said, "Hey, let's go for dinner," and she said, "Cool. I know this great place for dessert. My treat." Hell, dessert cost much more than dinner in this case.

 

I think what it is is that when she began to get her wallet out, he made no effort to say, "Hey, since this was my idea, I'm buying."

 

I get that.

 

BUT - JUST because a gal doesn't mind spending a little money does NOT mean she thinks she's not worthy of being treated well. THAT kind of crap is just HORSESH-T! :mad:

 

After all, if women enjoy being treated special, why shouldn't a guy enjoy being treated special? Do women have the market cornered on feeling good or something? :confused:

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To be honest I dont want to attract any kind of man!

 

JW if you read my earlier comments you will see what I mean

 

Anyway I am unsubscribing from this thread now cos its boring me!

 

Um, I have been following this thread and contributed to it a good bit. I read all your comments from the beginning, and I know what you mean.

 

The guy is cheap because he should pay for everything on the first date, and you probably didn't mention it, but I bet you expect the guy to pay for everything, from then on(not just first date). Excuse me, if I'm wrong. :rolleyes:

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