Using a gift card on a first date??

[BG1985]

Once again, if you want a girl to be impressed by you, don't use a gift card on the FIRST DATE. Stargazing actually sounds like it could be a pretty fun date. It's not about whether he takes her to a nice restaurant or a cheap restaurant, it's the fact that he thinks it's a good idea to ask a girl out because you have a gift card. Would y'all think it's all right to tell a girl, "Hey, I got my welfare check in the mail. Would you like to join me at Chili's?"

Edited November 6, 2009 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[jw90063]

We haven't even gone out, yet. This is how he chose to ask me out: "hey, I have a gift card to (restaurant) if you want to go out..."

 

I think the problem is looking WAY too much into this statement. I think he was simply saying he had a gift card. It doesn't mean anything. Also, I think I would feel better on a first date a guy using one. I sometimes feel a little awkward if the guy pays for everything on the first date or so.

[dreamergrl]

Once again, if you want a girl to be impressed by you, don't use a gift card on the FIRST DATE. Stargazing actually sounds like it could be a pretty fun date. Some of y'all are really dense. It's not about whether he takes her to a nice restaurant or a cheap restaurant, it's the fact that he thinks it's a good idea to ask a girl out because you have a gift card. Would y'all think it's all right to tell a girl, "Hey, I got my welfare check in the mail. Would you like to join me at Chili's?"

 

Not everyone can afford big huge elaborate meals. Not everyone is impressed by money.

 

Consider he wasn't trying to figure out a way to ask her out without putting on pressure. Not the best way, no, but maybe he doesn't have a lot of dating experience. Maybe he was just trying to be goofy. You don't know the guy.

Edited November 9, 2009 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[jw90063]

Once again, if you want a girl to be impressed by you, don't use a gift card on the FIRST DATE. Stargazing actually sounds like it could be a pretty fun date. Some of y'all are really dense. It's not about whether he takes her to a nice restaurant or a cheap restaurant, it's the fact that he thinks it's a good idea to ask a girl out because you have a gift card. Would y'all think it's all right to tell a girl, "Hey, I got my welfare check in the mail. Would you like to join me at Chili's?"

 

Talk about dense. You seem to be looking way too much into what was said. You seriously think he is taking her out just because he has a freaking gift card?! I didn't know money was the only way to impress a girl on the first date.

[Vertex]

It's not like he took you to a supermarket and used coupons to get you a can of tuna or used food stamps. Using a gift card might be a little "tacky" on a first date, but I wouldn't look too much into it unless he has other actions to back up the "cheap" claim.

[BG1985]

I never said money was the only way to impress a girl. Creativity also works. Taking a girl to Outback on the first date only because you have a gift card there is lacking in creativity. It's not even so much the gift card that's the issue, but he used it as a prop to ask her out.

[Vertex]

Oh, absolutely -- what makes it tacky is that it's like he's saying "Eh we may as well make use of this card... wanna go here?" which implies he's just trying to ensure the card doesn't go to waste, as opposed to a more active thought of "Where do we ACTUALLY want to go for our first date?" It would be like if I gave a girlfriend one of my old books as a present... "It's not like I read it anymore anyways, so you may as well have it!" It's not very thoughtful and is fairly lazy.

 

Again, though, I wouldn't look too much into it unless other actions reinforce things.

[crazy_grl]

We haven't even gone out, yet. This is how he chose to ask me out: "hey, I have a gift card to (restaurant) if you want to go out..."

 

I think this may have been an attempt to play it cool and he didn't consider that he would come off as cheap. He was using the gift card as an excuse to go out.

 

And I don't think there's anything wrong with paying for the meal with a gift card. A guy isn't obligated to pay at all, so why judge him for how he's paying? But then, I'm the sort that's more impressed with a guy being himself than trying to impress.

 

I'm sure the gift card at Outback probably looks like a giant willy wonka golden ticket or something, so it was probably hard to disguise

 

Nope, I actually have one... if you want to go. Got it from my old job a couple years ago and haven't used it yet. They look just like credit cards.

[Lizzie60]

Hum.. It would depend on the age.. if the guy is young.. then I would forgive... hey.. in this economic situation.. who cares how he pay... if you like the guy.. enjoy.. don't be snobbish, unless YOU come for 'royalty'... life is too short ...

[DustySaltus]

Um, they haven't even gone on the date yet.

 

exactly my point, it's over before it started

[Untouchable_Fire]

I never said money was the only way to impress a girl. Creativity also works. Taking a girl to Outback on the first date only because you have a gift card there is lacking in creativity. It's not even so much the gift card that's the issue, but he used it as a prop to ask her out.

 

He had a gift card. He chose to use it on her, when he could have asked anybody.

 

Yes it's not creative, Yes it borders on tacky.

 

But if she turns him down based on that... it is a much larger reflection on who she is as a person, than on him.

[espec10001]

It's not like he took you to a supermarket and used coupons to get you a can of tuna or used food stamps. Using a gift card might be a little "tacky" on a first date, but I wouldn't look too much into it unless he has other actions to back up the "cheap" claim.

 

I could see it now:

 

"Hey baby, this jar of mayonnaise and this can of tuna, my place, 7:30. Just tell me what kind of bread you desire most and I'll give it to you girl, oh I'll give it to you! Whatever bread you want on that sandwich girl, I'll give it to youuuu!"

[Vertex]

However, if you go to Outback Steakhouse and he tells you to order something cheaper because he wants to use the card for another meal in the future, run for the hills!

[BG1985]

Lizzie, the guy is 26. He isn't some teenager or college student with no money.

[jw90063]

Its not like he borrowed money from his parents to take a girl out, or used his "welfare" check.

 

A gift card is a GIFT. Is it not? It's not like he went desperately gathering money to take someone out. What is wrong about using it, whenever you please.

[Lizzie60]

Lizzie, the guy is 26. He isn't some teenager or college student with no money.

 

26 is 'young' IMO... and if it was me.. I wouldn't make a big deal out of it.. if I really like the guy...

 

I don't see the big 'hoola' over a gift card.. really... I order 'gift cards' with my airmiles all the time.. and I use them... it's just as good as cash...

 

Gosh.. some people are looking for 'bibittes'.. really... :rolleyes::rolleyes:

[BWLoca]

I accepted the date because while I'm less than impressed with his "asking out" skills, he still seems like a nice guy. I'm not going to judge him on this one action, but he's not exactly starting off with 5 stars, you know?

[DustySaltus]

If he pulls out a calculator to figure out the tip......

[Art_Critic]

I think you should pull out your own gift card to Outback's and pay for the dinner.

Hopefully he isn't also going on his B-day to get one of the meals for free..

 

Maybe in the end he won't even use it and he will lay out his CC... if he does that then you know it was just part of the conversation.

 

 

Oh.. and to the poster who said I'm old school. maybe.. I'm glad that my wife is in the 30% of the Mom's that stay at home and don't work as our Son really benefits from it...

Even though she is chomping at the bit to get back to work.. Art crosses his fingers

[IfWishesWereHorses]

You know, OB has a to die for lettuce wedge salad! The GC might not have been the smoothest move in the book but it was honest. Times are tough, and this guy might well be frugal regardless of tough times. I can tell you that financially responsible is usually a good sign in a man. The key is that he desires to spend an evening with you. I really don't see the big deal. Maybe you'll get a better idea of his financial situation if that's important to you for a dating relationship. As a woman, I would be turned off by a man who made it clear that we were going dutch on a first date, or expected me to pay even if I offered, but that is more from the era I was raised in possibly. A man saying, I've got a GC for this place, says I have this saved and would like to share it with you. I don't imagine a woman would blink twice if taken to a 4 star restaurant and a man handing a company card or grabbing a receipt to write it off. Its his card, it sounds like he was trying to make it sound nonchalant. I'm kinda with DG on that one.

 

I'm wondering if he's gonna suggest one of the 9.99 specials, which actually are just enough food without being too much!

[BG1985]

The thing is that money isn't even an issue according to the OP. She actually suggested getting drinks or coffee. Sure that's less expensive than Outback, unless the guy tries to work this so that he can fit the entire bill on the gift card.

[Left in a Lurch]

I accepted the date because while I'm less than impressed with his "asking out" skills, he still seems like a nice guy. I'm not going to judge him on this one action, but he's not exactly starting off with 5 stars, you know?

 

What did you do to try to impress him, other than breathing and having female parts? What great action have you taken to impress him as a girl that is worthy of dating?

 

Before you judge him for the gift card (I guarantee it was just a good "in" to make a casual date--I have a card I have to use, care to join me), what did you do that he could judge you by? Or better yet, how would he judge you for thinking you are above a free dinner by giftcard?

 

The guy offered you a free dinner and beggars can't be choosers. A guy that has to impress you by doing everything exactly the way you want it done, paying in the method you want to see him pay....is not a very lucky man.

 

So if he paid with a gold card instead of a tacky, old, regular credit card, I guess you would judge him differently too. What will he gain by being with you other than a large bill at the end of the night?

[jw90063]

Maybe the guy senses you are high maintenance(not saying you are,but you are the one that said its tacky and made a thread about it), and he figures a gift card will benefit him. In that case, poor guy. You know, some guys end up paying over $50 on a first date, which I think is ridiculous. The woman orders the largest meal on the menu, and adds a couple bottles of expensive wine. Its fine to enjoy yourself and your date, but come on. Could this guy be in fear he is going on a date that might cause him to become broke?

 

Normally when people use gift cards, they still end up paying some out of their wallet. That is smart to use the card, because he can pay half with that, and not the entire bill with his own cash.

[BG1985]

If the guy is worried she may be high-maintenance, why would he bother dating her? It doesn't matter what BWLoca did or didn't do to impress this guy, he's the one asking her on a date so he obviously thought she was good enough. If he's really low on money, what's he going to do for the second, third or fourth dates? I hope he doesn't expect her to start chipping in for these dates. Once again, the OP suggested something simple such as drinks or coffee, but the guy still insisted upon using the gift card. If BWLoca were really such a desperate beggar, as you suggested Chat Room Hero, she wouldn't have thought twice about the gift card fiasco.

[dreamergrl]

I accepted the date because while I'm less than impressed with his "asking out" skills, he still seems like a nice guy. I'm not going to judge him on this one action, but he's not exactly starting off with 5 stars, you know?

 

I think you already judged him though, based on the OP.