Art_Critic Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 It's none of her business because I try not to let one relationship affect another. Well.. the way I look at it this old relationship is already affecting your new one.. only your new GF doesn't know it yet.. TP.. Step back and rethink this.. your head isn't screwed on straight right now... Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 Get this over with TP. I was once with someone who hadn't let their last relationship go but had no idea. It was eye-opening to find out and realize why so many things were royally fracked up. Get her out of your system. Bleed her out if necessary. Answers given helps you give finality to yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teacher's Pet Posted May 15, 2009 Author Share Posted May 15, 2009 Mollyanna (old LS member I am RL friends with now) says NAY to responding. Though, she was pretty freaked when I told her what happened. Now I need Ariawoman's opinion, though I'm gonna guess and say she'd prefer I replied, but a short, carefully worded one. Those 2 let me lean on them when I really needed someone when this first happened, and they haven't let me down since. I my LS BFF's. -TP such a man Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 It's none of her business because I try not to let one relationship affect another. It doesn't matter if you think it's not her business. It IS because you are delving into something that should remain in the past. If you reply, it stops becoming the past and becomes a PRESENT problem. Me "having it out" with my ex is between me and her ONLY. TP, this is a very selfish attitude to take. You're dating someone now. It's your current G/Fs problem too because you are devoting energy towards a past relationship. This is taking away from your current G/F and is not fair to her. It will have no effect on my current relationship, except maybe to encourage me that it's ok to start taking risks again. Or encourage you to pursue a relationship with your ex G/F again, only to end up in the same place you were 3 years ago. TP, I told you what to tell her. Three words. "I forgive you." Nothing more, nothing less. Then TRULY forgive her and move on with your current G/F. As much bragging as you do about your sexual prowess you shouldn't be thinking about exs. If my ex from 4 years ago did this, that is EXACTLY what I would tell her if she wrote the same things to me. What's done is done and can not be changed. She wants peace of mind, give it to her. Be the bigger man here and forgive her and let it go. What good is going to do YOU to write out this long-winded diatribe?! Yeah you'll get it off your back but neither of you will feel better -- or accomplish anything. Just my $0.02. Do what you want with it. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 Mollyanna (old LS member I am RL friends with now) says NAY to responding. mollyanna's advice is indeed sound Link to post Share on other sites
kizik Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 It doesn't matter if you think it's not her business. It IS because you are delving into something that should remain in the past. If you reply, it stops becoming the past and becomes a PRESENT problem. TP, this is a very selfish attitude to take. You're dating someone now. It's your current G/Fs problem too because you are devoting energy towards a past relationship. This is taking away from your current G/F and is not fair to her. Or encourage you to pursue a relationship with your ex G/F again, only to end up in the same place you were 3 years ago. TP, I told you what to tell her. Three words. "I forgive you." Nothing more, nothing less. Then TRULY forgive her and move on with your current G/F. As much bragging as you do about your sexual prowess you shouldn't be thinking about exs. If my ex from 4 years ago did this, that is EXACTLY what I would tell her if she wrote the same things to me. What's done is done and can not be changed. She wants peace of mind, give it to her. Be the bigger man here and forgive her and let it go. What good is going to do YOU to write out this long-winded diatribe?! Yeah you'll get it off your back but neither of you will feel better -- or accomplish anything. Just my $0.02. Do what you want with it. This is what's up, and demonstrates why I like CG. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 TP, I told you what to tell her. Three words. "I forgive you." Nothing more, nothing less. actually, zero words would be better Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 NO CONTACT. BROKEN. Yes, folks... It has happened. "The Teacher", after almost 3 years, HAS CONTACTED ME. The very person that drove me into depression, the woman who broke my heart, forcing me to seek out support, and finding LS.... has contacted me. And did you tell her to #%^#$% OFF ?? What is it about these people that after the person they f####d over has moved on and healed....they jackasses feel the need to contact them and stir the s##t up again? I posted this in another thread, an X that I actually caught in bed with someone else, contacted me in a letter just about 3 years after saying she wishes things would have turned out differently for us...and when she wrote that letter SHE WAS MARRIED! So I put the letter in an envelope, addressed it to her husband with a post-it inserted saying "tell your wife to leave me alone". never heard from her again:) Link to post Share on other sites
underpants Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 Hee hee, Dexter. Good one. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 And did you tell her to #%^#$% OFF ??:) in this situation silence expresses more than any words every could, trust me on this... Link to post Share on other sites
PinkToes Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 I think this is brilliant: I'd say write back. Be short about it. Say "Hi, thanks for your email and apology. No reason to dwell on the past, I'm happy, healthy and doing very well. Take care." If you really, REALLY want answers as to why she left, a long letter rehashing the relationship and how it affected you isn't going to get you there. See her face-to-face, if you must. But I agree that you sound awfully invested in this girl, 3 years after the fact, and having had a couple of other relationships since then. Maybe you're still connected -- even in a small way -- because you haven't forgiven her. She doesn't have to know about it, but it would help you be fully present today (and tomorrow) if you let go of the past injustice. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 most of you folks are giving pretty weak advice here. i'm sorry to say Link to post Share on other sites
kizik Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 most of you folks are giving pretty weak advice here. i'm sorry to say That's a pretty lame thing to say without adding something that you feel is not "weak advice" right there. Link to post Share on other sites
PinkToes Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 I seriously doubt he's gonna ignore it altogether; we're all just trying to suggest possible responses that don't make the situation worse. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teacher's Pet Posted May 15, 2009 Author Share Posted May 15, 2009 I seriously doubt he's gonna ignore it altogether; we're all just trying to suggest possible responses that don't make the situation worse. There's really nothing to make "worse", since there is nothing to begin with.. I just want to get as much as I can from this, without giving up anything. Negotiations 101. I'm going to go the short and "semi"sweet route. -TP back to the drawing board Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 Negotiations 101. the first thing they teach in that class is to not speak with or negotiate with terrorists. and she's a terrorist Link to post Share on other sites
underpants Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 I just want to get as much as I can from this, without giving up anything. Negotiations 101. I'm going to go the short and "semi"sweet route. Keep the short, and ditch the semi sweet. Stop being cute and clingy. It's a turn off and a sign of perceived weakness. (considering the context of this situation) If you want her to man up then call her on the bluff. Come on tough guy. Let's see the draft you really want to write. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teacher's Pet Posted May 15, 2009 Author Share Posted May 15, 2009 Keep the short, and ditch the semi sweet. Stop being cute and clingy. It's a turn off and a sign of perceived weakness. (considering the context of this situation) If you want her to man up then call her on the bluff. Come on tough guy. Let's see the draft you really want to write. What I'd REALLY like to write? Dear X... My new gf is bi. You're bi. How 'bout it? Me -TP workin' the angles Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 Dear X... My new gf is bi. You're bi. How 'bout it? Okay, I switch my vote from "no response" to this one. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 What I'd REALLY like to write? Dear X... My new gf is bi. You're bi. How 'bout it? :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teacher's Pet Posted May 15, 2009 Author Share Posted May 15, 2009 Dear Xxxx..... I have to admit, I was completely shocked when you wrote me. I never expected to hear from you again. Since we broke up, I've become a happy and complete man again. I work hard, and finally enjoy what I do, have a terrific group of friends, and a wonderful new woman in my life. I am sorry to hear that you are going through some rough times. Perhaps this has truly given you a little insight into how you treated me. If you are looking for forgiveness, I can only forgive as far as hoping you become strong enough to face your issues and grow from them as I have with mine. If you would like to talk, I'd be willing to listen. My phone number hasn't changed, but the person on the other end of the line definately has. Respectfully, Me +++++++++++++ Better? I was thinking of adding "P.S. I miss your tits", but....nah. -TP she did have nice tits, even though they were slightly lopsided. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teacher's Pet Posted May 15, 2009 Author Share Posted May 15, 2009 :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: If I were to pull that off, all of you would BOW before me. -TP loves watching a good snowball fight Link to post Share on other sites
underpants Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 That was better then the long letter. I know it has been 5 days since she wrote, but you are just processing it. Look how far you have come in a few hours. Give yourself a little more time before you send anything, okay? On an aside, whats up with the bi chicks and you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teacher's Pet Posted May 15, 2009 Author Share Posted May 15, 2009 That was better then the long letter. I know it has been 5 days since she wrote, but you are just processing it. Look how far you have come in a few hours. Give yourself a little more time before you send anything, okay? On an aside, whats up with the bi chicks and you? I have no idea.... Bi chicks dig me. I just need to get them to dig me 2 at a time. With this new one, I think I can, since she's VERY open about her "sexual desires", and really wants a 3-some..... I just hope I get to approve her picks beforehand! The Teacher was bi, but not "freaky".... she didn't do 3-somes. -TP you wanna right some wrongs? here's what you can do! hehe Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 If I were to pull that off' date=' all of you would BOW before me. [/quote'] the only thing that response would do is remind her why she split Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts