Island Girl Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 It is vigilante justice. If the other two people are involved in deceiving each other they in the end will get their own just desserts. What people here are defending can go pretty far in the wrong direction and should not be condoned in any way. There is always a ripple effect. What of this ex boyfriend the girl went running back to? For all we know he is a wonderful guy, nice as can be, who she was just toying with. While they were over he had an opportunity to meet someone else and move on with his life - now she comes running back - he has no idea why and possibly thinks he's lucky when we all know this girl has issues. Maybe this is not the scenario but it is possible. Ripple effect -- see? She got involved and changed lives not just those of these two people but others - one will never know for sure or how many. Once you get to a certain age (out of high school) things like this should be frowned upon. We all can and should strive to be better people. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 All the holier than thous on this thread are making me wanna . I just KNOW y'all have some MUCH worse skeletons in your perfect little cedar lined closets. Quit the drama queen routine. Thanks. Sure, I've got skeletons. Some of them are damn scary. And almost all of them were accrued when I was acting on my feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 I'm guessing that many, not all, of the "high road" attitudes, are from people who have cheated in the past. While I wouldn't recommend revenge for everything, it's up to the individual to empower themselves back, in a situation of cheating. I see cheating as the lowest of lows, worse than theft, worse than a lot of other things. I believe in vigilante justice, reliant on circumstance and individual. This ties into my belief that people are responsible for themselves, in all ways. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 I think, actually, the drama queens are all the people making such a HUGE deal out of something that, really, is so insignificant. Someone talked about the gal she contacted being ridiculed. WTF?! How can someone be ridiculed when they don't feel ridicule? Sheesh! Give the Dalai Lama routine a rest, people. I don't think what the OP did was right, but I agree it wasn't a big deal in the grand scheme of things. But I wasn't addressing that; I was addressing whether it's a good plan to go around acting on your "feelings" on a continual basis. It's not. Link to post Share on other sites
RouRou Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 What makes you think she won't meet a nice man? And yes, Dollie, how dare you be sneaky towards a cheater! I didnt say she wouldnt meet a nice man. I said shes been wasting time being sneaky and in the time shes been plotting, she could have moved on...just because he cheated doesnt mean she has to do sneaky things. The biggest revenge you can have on someone is coming out on top without doing anything but making yourself better in an honest way. Link to post Share on other sites
RouRou Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 Of course it's not, but that's NOT what this thread is about. This thread is about one single instance of someone having been done dirt, thinking up a way of getting even with the jerk WITHOUT, I might add, hurting anyone else (in fact, she probably did the other gal a favor), and following through. It wasn't a knee jerk reaction. She didn't find out he cheated, go rushing to his place all hopped up on adrenalin, and set fire to his house or shoot him. THAT would have been acting purely on emotion. Nope. She came up with an idea and worked it. And I think it's damn funny, and the jackass had it coming to him. You wanna talk drama queen? How about people calling her "psycho" and "stalker?" THERE'S some drama for ya. Ok wow...So because she didnt blow up dudes house, you think its ok? Yeah, you're probably the kind of chick that would do the same thing! Just because there were not guns involved doesnt make it ok. Link to post Share on other sites
clv0116 Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 The biggest revenge you can have on someone is coming out on top without doing anything but making yourself better in an honest way. Indeed. In the end the worst punishment is that (s)he has to go though life as themselves. Link to post Share on other sites
gopher Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 I too think what the OP did was wrong. If a man had posted this, he would have been rightly berated and called a stalker. I live by the quote that "Living well is the best revenge" Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 And here just a few posts back you said, "I don't think what the OP did was right, but I agree it wasn't a big deal in the grand scheme of things." Let it go. "It wasn't a big deal," remember? Wrong poster. Link to post Share on other sites
clv0116 Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 Wrong poster. Be patient, donna is not so bright. Link to post Share on other sites
fishtaco Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 Interesting... so vigilante justice is a GOOD thing. I guess that's sort of understandable since there are no dating police. I would hope all the Dollie supporters at the very least don't believe in vigilante justice outside of dating, where there are laws and organizations that try to uphold those laws. So from that perspective, was vigilante justice delivered? I don't want to take anything away from Dollie, she did something that I couldn't have accomplished - her plan was well executed. But what was the "punishment" to her ex? His new girl left him, which was something that was going to happen ANYWAY, with or without Dollie's intervention. What was the damage done to Dollie by her ex compared to the justice served to the ex? Is that enough punishment for a cheater? Most likely her ex is just going to happily go on to cheat on the next girl, completely oblivious to what had happened here. Link to post Share on other sites
fishtaco Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 Again, as regards the "vigilante justice," it's not like she did anything illegal. She didn't cause blood to flow; she didn't f with anyone's bank account; she didn't cause damage to property. I can't speak for Dollie as to how she feels about any further "fun" her ex might have, but my guess would be that since she's had one little bit of satisfaction for f'ing with him just a bit, she won't really care. That's just my guess. Oh yeah absolutely nothing criminally illegal has been done here, nor would I or anyone on this thread suggest that (at least I hope not). So let's just get it out of the way and say that whatever we talk about, we don't mean any illegal activity, past or future posts on this thread. I re-used the term "vigilante justice" because it has been mentioned a few times by other posters in the thread, and seems to fit this situation well. Like I said, there are no dating police. So I guess one would have to take things into their own hands. And my second point was that the Dollie Revenge Plot seems to be like a good movie with a weak ending. Really, nothing happened to the ex. So what was the point in doing all this? Although she has positioned herself so that there is at least one more step to take. I wonder if Dollie will do it. Link to post Share on other sites
clv0116 Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 A vengeful woman used similar techniques and drove a girl to suicide not so long ago. While I'm not sure there was anything criminal, acts like this are reprehensible. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 I agree, the way she went about it is kind of immature. The whole sneakiness behind it, I feel is utterly unnecesary. Why not just present the new girl with the facts of the case as it stands?. As in, "your boyfriend of 7 months was my boyfriend until last month, here's proof if you want it". AND MAKE SURE THE EX/BOYFRIEND KNOWS WHAT YOU SAID. Let the new girl then decide what she wants to do with that information. Chances are, the new girl will tell her to eff off but at least she knows. I have yet to see an explanation for why the OP didn't do this. To hide one's true identity while playing this silly game just makes it worse. Why couldn't the OP be direct, and look her victims in the eye, so-to-speak? I seriously doubt she gives a rat's azz what he thinks of her. Sure she does, otherwise she would have made her identity known. My guess is she's breaking them up so she can get him back. Honestly. Taking time and effort to hurt them back is reactive and says a lot about someone's self esteem and ego issues. I totally agree. Of course it's not, but that's NOT what this thread is about. This thread is about one single instance of someone having been done dirt, thinking up a way of getting even with the jerk WITHOUT, I might add, hurting anyone else (in fact, she probably did the other gal a favor), and following through. It wasn't a knee jerk reaction. She didn't find out he cheated, go rushing to his place all hopped up on adrenalin, and set fire to his house or shoot him. THAT would have been acting purely on emotion. Nope. She came up with an idea and worked it. And I think it's damn funny, and the jackass had it coming to him. This wasn't one single instance. This was methodically planned out. Premeditated. Evil. I'd venture to guess that most of those who disappove of her conduct in this case would be more accepting of a crime committed in the heat-of-passion. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 LMAO!!! Hence why I said "so-to-speak". Explain to me why she didn't get her revenge directly? Why the cowardice? Link to post Share on other sites
clv0116 Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 We've got a really good example of 'doing it right' today in a lengthy post wherein a man discovered the adultery, called the wife of the other man and discussed openly the affair and other salient matters pertaining to it. He and his wife are now trying to patch things up. This is the way a full grown adult human being is supposed to behave. The OP is acting like an 11 year old girl. Link to post Share on other sites
BCCA Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 My guess is she's breaking them up so she can get him back. Honestly. Oh I dont think you can deny that, it seems pretty obvious to me. You're not going to convince donnamaybe et al that there was anything wrong with this, I gave up. To each their own. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dollie Posted February 27, 2009 Author Share Posted February 27, 2009 Update I rang her! I rang her and told her we only split a month ago, she confirmed that she had been with him since July. He had told her that I was a nutty ex who stalked him hahha that is so not the truth, he asked me to have a baby with him! She met him and told him about me calling and he rang me infront of her telling me that we had split up in January a year ago! I told him that he was obviously standing there with her and I laughed and told him he was busted and I said "I know you are a liar and you know that you are a liar and that, my friend, is closure!" She was not that bothered as she said she needed a good excuse to end it and that he was a fat 40 yr old! He then text me telling me that everyone knew, including my friends and that I had better get an STD check up! Nice one eh Now he can feel the pain of the loss! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dollie Posted February 27, 2009 Author Share Posted February 27, 2009 To clear up some misconceptions, I would never take him back. If he was the last man on earth I would screw a tree!! Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 She was not that bothered as she said she needed a good excuse to end it and that he was a fat 40 yr old! Now he can feel the pain of the loss! You're all wrapped up around this "fat 40 yr old" - he must have had a fat wallet too? Link to post Share on other sites
fishtaco Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 I would screw a tree!! Can I film it? Link to post Share on other sites
sid3 Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 Update She was not that bothered as she said she needed a good excuse to end it and that he was a fat 40 yr old! Hmm, in your previouls threads you never mentioned his being fat. Just missing him and wondering if he'd ever miss you Now he can feel the pain of the loss! Doubt it. Fat as he may be, he was screwing the both of you, more than likely in the same day on more than one occasion. There's a thought. There is a good chance he wasn't kidding about the std. Sounds like this guy doesn't have a problem meeting the females. I'd bet he'll move on pretty quickly. You should sign up for Jerry Springer. Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 I'm gonna let my gut get huge and be less kind.......jk. Link to post Share on other sites
gopher Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 Can I film it? Would that be considered a "Treeway"... Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 Would that be considered a "Treeway"... I was thinking treesome. Link to post Share on other sites
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