Author Dollie Posted February 25, 2009 Author Share Posted February 25, 2009 Who is exposing anyone? Read the facts people and tell me who I have hurt The only one doing the hurting was HIM! Link to post Share on other sites
clv0116 Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 That's because men are not generally vindictive bitches. We cut our losses and move on for the clean start. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dollie Posted February 25, 2009 Author Share Posted February 25, 2009 How can you generalize men like that clv? I am not ashamed and never will be Link to post Share on other sites
BCCA Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 Funny thing is, I notice more men moaning and bitching about what you did than women. Interesting. You mean about a scorned ex creating a fake profile to get her ex's new girl to dump him? I wonder why guys dont like that, odd isnt it? If you condone what she did at all, guy or girl, than I feel sorry for you. I'm not saying we all havent done some stuff we arent proud of, but the difference is that most of us dont gloat about it later. That fact that she feels justified is baffling - since when did two wrongs make a right? Link to post Share on other sites
blondesmiler Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 When my ex broke up with me in the *****tish way possible, I told him to leave my things outside for me too collect. I couldn't resist because I was so upset and angry to rip up every bit of paper, card, love note, he had ever given me and scattered them over his parking space (within block of flats with others), did I feel stupid, yeah after a few days I thought what a nutter I must have seemed, I didn't feel better at all, in fact stupid for it. No one else involved in that little bit of revenge but I felt like a wally for doing it, the only purpose it served was probably to confirm to him, his neighbours, friends that I was "nutter ex girlfriend". The best thing I did was just get on with my life, been on some fab holidays, done some wild things, interesting things and basically grew as a person. Why, well cause after a time I just didn't care where he was, what he was doing or with whom, I still don't. I just think you'd rather have the label of "wow you should see my ex girlfriend now she looks amazing, she glows, has such a zest for life, what a right wally/dickhead I have been" instead of "she was a nutter my ex". Link to post Share on other sites
BCCA Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 Scorned? Is that what you call a girlfriend you cheat on? Scorned?! If he had just called it quits with her and THEN got with this new girl, I'd be telling her how wrong she was. Nope. This guy was a cheating POS. He got what he had coming to him. Ive been cheated on too. It feels worse than anything. I was upset, too. However, yes, she is obviously scorned. And I just want to make sure, youre saying that two wrongs do make a right, correct? Link to post Share on other sites
clv0116 Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 How can you generalize men like that clv? Because it's generally true. For instance I doubt your ex is at this moment plotting to 'get evener' with you. He's almost surely trying to do what most normal guys would be doing; getting on with life. Link to post Share on other sites
blondesmiler Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 I seriously doubt she gives a rat's azz what he thinks of her. Seeing Dollies post from just a day or so ago about how do I get over him, I can't get over him....I think at present she might....however that Dollie knows. I hope she doesn't regret doing what she did in days, months to come, all we are trying to do as with most threads is give our opinion on the situation, what we might or might not have done, perhaps give a little food for thought. Link to post Share on other sites
BCCA Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 And so, to follow your analogy, we should have no criminal justice system either, eh? I mean, that poor prisoner. He must HATE being behind bars. How wrong of people to expect justice! Are you even serious here? Youre comparing cheating on someone to murder, drug dealing, rape, etc? Really? That is completely off base. 'Justice' is relative. Some people could say a cheater deserves to die, would that make murder ok? By your definition, yes apparently. The justice system is in place to DICTATE what is right or wrong and the punishments that breaking the law will carry. Its not up to everyone of us to decide how 'wrong' something is, and create our own form of judgements. An eye for an eye makes the world blind. And thanks, but not answering you've told me that yes, two wrongs do make a right in your world. Good to know. Link to post Share on other sites
sand26 Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 Who is exposing anyone? Read the facts people and tell me who I have hurt The only one doing the hurting was HIM! THE ONLY ONE YOU ARE HURTING IS YOURSELF!!!!!! go tell a therapist what you did, they will tell you that you are creating negative patterns in your life. That you are focusing outside yourself and not growing. Your anger and denial of inappropriate behavior tells all those on this board who actually ARE looking out for your mental health that you are not ready to take responsibility and change. WE WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY, and you keep trying to defend reeeeaaaaallly unhealthy behavior. This is a regression of maturity on your part. Prick up your ears and be open to the wise help being offered. Also, how do you know this girl is even telling you the truth about how long she has known him? how do you know she has been truthful about any of it? YOU ARE WASTING TIME AND ESTABLISHING REALLY UNHEALTHY PATTERNS! You should be growing and learning in this time of transition, not dwelling and being petty. You should analyze what YOU did wrong in the relationship, they are all 50/50 you know! You can not change someone else or force them to treat people better, you can only change the effect you have on the world....so...... what kind of effect are you going to make?? The woman scorned lashing out at past lovers? Or the healthy person who allows the transgressions of others but furthers the world through positive change.... you decide.... but all of your denial and resistance to accountability is a little scary. be healthy, move on, stop dwelling, analyze your issues, be accepting and open yourself to life.... good luck hon, I really mean that, these times are always hard. But truly AMAZING growth is born in people in such times of transition. This is a crossroads, CHOOSE CAREFULLY what you put your energy into because it will come back to you three fold. good luck, the mfk Link to post Share on other sites
BCCA Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 Some people get put in jail for smoking a joint. Are you REALLY SERIOUSLY telling me that is WORSE than f'ing around on your SO? If so, YOU are completely off base. Again, its not my place to decide whats legal or illegal, thats for the justice system. I'll say this however, marijuana is illegal unless under special circumstances in every state. Cheating is not. You can decide for yourself what is worse, obviously the government already has. I can see your point, everyone can. We've all been done wrong and wanted revenge, its natural. But thats an unhealthy thing to seek, and wont help her get over this any faster. Two wrongs never make a right, you just cant argue against that. Link to post Share on other sites
kashmir Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 The best thing I did was just get on with my life, been on some fab holidays, done some wild things, interesting things and basically grew as a person. Why, well cause after a time I just didn't care where he was, what he was doing or with whom, I still don't. I just think you'd rather have the label of "wow you should see my ex girlfriend now she looks amazing, she glows, has such a zest for life, what a right wally/dickhead I have been" instead of "she was a nutter my ex". This is a good post. Put yourself in the cheating boyfriend's shoes. You cheat on your girlfriend with this other girl. Then the other girl suddenly cuts you off. Somewhere along the way you find out your ex girlfriend made a fb as a different person to reveal your true colors to your new girl. Overall, you thought she went out of her way to get back at you. You might be pissed for a bit, but you'll move on to another girl soon. Some years later you see your ex you cheated on, and she's with a great guy and is really happy. You think, "Whatever, she turned out to be a nut anyway. Let him deal with her." Now, imagine all of this if your girlfriend never delivered her own justice. You keep your thing with the girl you cheated with. That might go somewhere or it might not...doesn't matter. Some years later, you see your ex with the same great guy and she's really happy. I don't know about the rest of you, but if that was me, I'd begin to realize what I was missing and what an idiot I was, because despite all the bad I did to her, she stayed cool and is now living happy. As I said, the OP's form of revenge might piss the guy off now, but if you want REAL revenge, you forget him and live your life. Link to post Share on other sites
BCCA Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 but if you want REAL revenge, you forget him and live your life. The best revenge is success. Link to post Share on other sites
BCCA Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 I personally don't see anything wrong in what she did. Big deal. She made a fake name on facebook. Two gals learned the truth about a cheater and used it to their advantage. Good for them. People act like she slashed his tires or killed his pet or something. Youre severly downplaying what she did. She took the time to create a fake profile with the sole purpose of trying to 'get even', lied to an innocent and unrelated person, and convinced her to dump him for her own satisfaction. It was wrong, she impersonated someone else, and flat out lied to this other girl. She did not approach this other woman as herself, only being concerned for this girls well being. She lied to this women over and over, betraying her trust for her own benefit. She did not have any interest in helping this woman 'see him for what he was', she just wanted him to get hurt so she could take pleasure in it. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 So... Dollie - created a fake profile and chatted with a girl, to get some answers about her cheating ex. Girl - used the ex, was embarrassed by him, dumped him to get back with her ex. Cheater - consistently cheated on Dollie and the other girl, for 7 months, approx. 1.5 years into the relationship. I'm failing to understand where there's any innocent party. Link to post Share on other sites
manugeorge Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 So... Dollie - created a fake profile and chatted with a girl, to get some answers about her cheating ex. Girl - used the ex, was embarrassed by him, dumped him to get back with her ex. Cheater - consistently cheated on Dollie and the other girl, for 7 months, approx. 1.5 years into the relationship. I'm failing to understand where there's any innocent party. birds of the same feather.... One question for you Dollie, why didn't you approach the new girl as yourself? meaning "her boyfriend's ex"??? I'm curious about your motive here. Link to post Share on other sites
blondesmiler Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 Not saying anyone is inoccent, her ex is an ass, just was trying to point out what might have been better for Dollie to do for her own good, a different prospective. Link to post Share on other sites
BCCA Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 So... Dollie - created a fake profile and chatted with a girl, to get some answers about her cheating ex. Girl - used the ex, was embarrassed by him, dumped him to get back with her ex. Cheater - consistently cheated on Dollie and the other girl, for 7 months, approx. 1.5 years into the relationship. I'm failing to understand where there's any innocent party. TWO WRONGS DO NOT MAKE A RIGHT! Has no one ever heard that before? I never said he was 100% innocent, I just said, over and over, that 'revenge' is not the answer, and it never is. It solved nothing, did NOT give her any answers, and Im sure she wont feel any better a couple days from now. Link to post Share on other sites
BCCA Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 One question for you Dollie, why didn't you approach the new girl as yourself? meaning "her boyfriend's ex"??? I'm curious about your motive here. Of course she didnt, because that would have made this actual genuine concern for another person. This was 100% about her being mad and getting him back. Link to post Share on other sites
blondesmiler Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 You go girl!!! NOBODY can say the other gal isn't better off for Dollie's little playacting. NOBODY can say she would be better off not knowing she was with a cheating POS. "All's well that ends well." There's another little saying for ya! Perhaps Dollie should fess up and ask her, I bet she probably wouldn't be very happy. Since when did we take an ex's word on a ex's actions/being a cheat? We's probably just think "nutter ex" get out of my face. But who knows. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 TWO WRONGS DO NOT MAKE A RIGHT! Has no one ever heard that before? I never said he was 100% innocent, I just said, over and over, that 'revenge' is not the answer, and it never is. It solved nothing, did NOT give her any answers, and Im sure she wont feel any better a couple days from now. Dollie now has answers she never would have known, without doing this. I do know how I felt after enacting what I did. It reset the balance for me. I took everything back and more and am glad I did. If you look at the bitter men on LS who've been cheated on, but chose to take the "high road", you have to wonder which way works better. I've been dating all along since the incident. Now I'm engaged to a wonderful man. There's been no need to hold onto bitterness, gender hating for a perpetuity. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sand26 Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 When you get cheated on, you just come on back and we'll tell you it was half your fault. I HAVE BEEN CHEATED ON!!!! TWICE!!!!!! GUESS WHAT??? it was 50% my fault . I was allowing myself to be in a relationship with someone who didn't respect me. I was too clingy and unattractive, and ultimately I drove them to find solace somewhere else. I was in a dysfunctional place and that unhealthy part of me was seeking out people who would hurt me... this is basic psychoanalysis by the way... if you have ever talked to a therapist you should know this. But thanks for the completely irrelevant response. good luck the mfk Link to post Share on other sites
BCCA Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 Ive been cheated on before, like I said. To me, this is not 'getting even' its counteracting immature and silly behavior with more immature and silly behavior. And if this guy finds out, is he well within his rights to 'get her back' too? Probably not. What answers did she get? Please clue me in there. Because from what she said, she saw him with another woman with her own two eyes, then freinded the woman, and just pushed her to get rid of him. What exactly did this help with? I think its fairly obvious that women here are more interested in 'revenge' than guys. My, cant you just let it go? He's a total douche, life will punish him in its own way. Its not like if she didnt get justice he would go on forever doing this to one girl after the other. NOBODY can say she would be better off not knowing she was with a cheating POS She knew that BEFORE this stupid charade. But it seems as though the women here think this sort of behavior is appropriate for an adult, I personally dont. This is so jr high its not even funny. Link to post Share on other sites
blondesmiler Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 I think its fairly obvious that women here are more interested in 'revenge' than guys. erm! Most not all thank you Link to post Share on other sites
BCCA Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 erm! Most not all thank you Im sorry, I didnt mean to lump everyone together. It just boggles my mind that people think this is an appropriate way for an adult to act. Link to post Share on other sites
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