How to Handle an Ex-friend

[Trialbyfire]

Thanks, SP. Yeah, that's what I said. Just ignore me. What boundaries am I supposed to respect that I'm not anyway?

 

You of all people should know by now that i don't take too kindly to being dictated to. That's a no-no in my book.

Who's dictating to you? I've laid out my concerns. You've negated my concerns. So this goes on and on and on.

[Touche]

Who's dictating to you? I've laid out my concerns. You've negated my concerns. So this goes on and on and on.

 

I'm not negating anything. I'm just genuinely confused as to these mysterious boundaries that I'm crossing.

 

I've laid out my stance and you have the option to ignore me but for whatever reason you keep forgetting that. You only have two options here: Ignore me, or don't react to what I say. That's it. Why must you needlessly complicate this?

[IfWishesWereHorses]

Are you magichands?

 

Are YOU just figuring that out!

 

Touche and TBF,

 

This thread makes me sad too. Lishy was right. A lot of hurt, and you don't hurt over people you don't care about. I'm sorry for both of you.

[Trialbyfire]

I'm not negating anything. I'm just genuinely confused as to these mysterious boundaries that I'm crossing.

 

I'm laid out my stance and you have the option to ignore me but for whatever reason you keep forgetting that. You only have two options here: Ignore me, or don't react to what I say. That's it. Why must you needlessly complicate this?

Why must you needlessly give inappropriate and unrealistic advice, with no understanding of the person involved but pretend you know all? You've self admitted that you don't know me and have projected your own self into who I am. It's crazy.

[shadowplay]

Are YOU just figuring that out!

 

 

I'm a little slow on the uptake.

[Touche]

Why must you needlessly give inappropriate and unrealistic advice, with no understanding of the person involved but pretend you know all? You've self admitted that you don't know me and have projected your own self into who I am. It's crazy.

 

Well, you got it all wrong there but continue to believe what you will. I don't give inappropriate or unrealistic advice. Sorry you think that. Funny how others said pretty much the same thing I did but you were fine with them...talk about the whole Halo Effect in action.

 

I'm bored with this now. I'll go play in the other sandbox for now.

[whichwayisup]

((TBF)) ((T))

 

Life is too short.

That's all I have tonight.

[OpenBook]

C'mon girls this is getting cringey and classless now.

 

I thought it was classless from the very first post. Unbelievable.

[whichwayisup]

I don't think it's classless. I see two people who were close friends, and are now with hurt feelings and are emotional right now.

 

Instead of putting them down, just be supportive and hope that in time they can work it out, enough that a common basic respect can be reached.

 

What's classless is the pot-shots being taken along the way by some other posters. It's like drawing lines in the sand and saying I'M ON THIS SIDE.

[Ariadne]

Well, you got it all wrong there but continue to believe what you will. I don't give inappropriate or unrealistic advice. Sorry you think that.

 

Hey Touche,

 

You are talking to her!

 

Good going.

[Touche]

Hey Touche,

 

You are talking to her!

 

Good going.

 

Yeah, it's been peachy, A.

 

Which, you're sweet. Thanks for the hugs and I hope you're doing well.

 

Thanks, to Horses also.

 

What can you do? Sometimes friendships just run their course for one reason or another. It's fine. I have no resentment whatsoever. Sure, I'm hurt. But that'll pass soon enough.

 

I still care for TBF and I wouldn't want anything bad to ever happen to her.

[Trialbyfire]

Touche, as stated in the opening post, I don't wish you harm or hurt but I do wish for civil distance. If you can respect those personal boundaries, I won't come to any harm or hurt. If you can't, we'll both come to harm and hurt. It's your choice.

[Touche]

Touche, as stated in the opening post, I don't wish you harm or hurt but I do wish for civil distance. If you can respect those personal boundaries, I won't come to any harm or hurt. If you can't, we'll both come to harm and hurt. It's your choice.

 

OMG! You're like a dog with a bone. Sheesh.

 

I've not crossed any personal boundaries at all. What is it with these silly veiled threats of yours? You've already tried to "expose" me on my thread. You failed. I'm honest about my flaws but unfortunately you aren't about yours for whatever reason.

 

What's with the "personal boundaries" issue? I really don't get it.

 

Please stop with the threats..."harm and hurt?" Wow. I cannot believe you're starting that again. Don't you know when to leave well enough alone?

[Trialbyfire]

OMG! You're like a dog with a bone. Sheesh.

 

I've not crossed any personal boundaries at all. What is it with these silly veiled threats of yours? You've already tried to "expose" me on my thread. You failed. I'm honest about my flaws but unfortunately you aren't about yours for whatever reason.

 

What's with the "personal boundaries" issue? I really don't get it.

 

Please stop with the threats..."harm and hurt?" Wow. I cannot believe you're starting that again. Don't you know when to leave well enough alone?

Expose you, how so? What are you talking about?

 

I guess that's the core issue. You don't respect personal boundaries. It's why we had the fallout in the first place.

 

Harm and hurt as in continuing with your stance that's inaccurate. We're both responding to each other in a negative fashion. Do you believe this is healthy for either one of us?

[jerbear]

I think you two need sometime away from each other. I personally do not want you two to start throwing punches at each other. My fetishes aside. I hate seeing two women cat fighting.

 

My suggestion of the time out chairs still stand.

[Touche]

Expose you, how so? What are you talking about?

 

I guess that's the core issue. You don't respect personal boundaries. It's why we had the fallout in the first place.

 

Harm and hurt as in continuing with your stance that's inaccurate. We're both responding to each other in a negative fashion. Do you believe this is healthy for either one of us?

 

OMG, this is truly insane. How did we even last a year and a half?

 

How am I not respecting personal boundaries? You've not given ONE single example.

 

I'm disagreeing with that and you don't like that. The solution then is to ignore me if my crossing these so called personal boundaries is so distressful to you. But you started this thread.

 

I really don't know what you want out of me. The solution has to lie in YOUR reaction to me. Do you get that? Because I'm not doing anything differently. If I thought I was crossing any boundaries, I'd apologize and stop. But I don't believe that I am.

 

Why can't you state EXACTLY what these boundaries are that I'm crossing?

 

Once again, I've stated nothing, NOTHING that you haven't already revealed yourself on these boards. So I'm just not seeing it.

 

PM me if you feel that I have indeed revealed something that was said to me in confidence. If I have, then I will publicly apologize to you, okay?

 

Otherwise I really don't want to hear about this again, if you don't mind. And surely don't appreciate the little threats about my coming to some "harm and hurt." I don't like it one bit.

 

And no. This is NOT healthy. Let's nip this in the bud here and now.

[whichwayisup]

"harm and hurt."

 

I didn't see that as a threat, I think it was more being words said and will be making pain, aka hurt feelings, harming eachother. Atleast that is how it read to me.. NOT physical harm, or threats that way..

 

You two do need to take a break, think about stuff and try your best to not egg eachother on. Too much pain is being felt and that's obvious.

 

*HUMOUR BREAK*

Today I farted by accident infront of some worker men who were doing work on my house outside (sneeze and fart at the same time, no control, out of my hands) and it was a high pitched loud squeeker. I was so embarressed, wanted to curl up in a ball and die..

[Touche]

Which, yeah. I know what she meant. I didn't think she was sending over a hit man or anything! (Crap, can't remember if she has my address or not?)

 

Very funny on the embarrassing moment. Maybe they didn't notice.

[Trialbyfire]

OMG, this is truly insane. How did we even last a year and a half?

 

How am I not respecting personal boundaries? You've not given ONE single example.

 

I'm disagreeing with that and you don't like that. The solution then is to ignore me if my crossing these so called personal boundaries is so distressful to you. But you started this thread.

 

I really don't know what you want out of me. The solution has to lie in YOUR reaction to me. Do you get that? Because I'm not doing anything differently. If I thought I was crossing any boundaries, I'd apologize and stop. But I don't believe that I am.

 

Why can't you state EXACTLY what these boundaries are that I'm crossing?

 

Once again, I've stated nothing, NOTHING that you haven't already revealed yourself on these boards. So I'm just not seeing it.

 

PM me if you feel that I have indeed revealed something that was said to me in confidence. If I have, then I will publicly apologize to you, okay?

 

Otherwise I really don't want to hear about this again, if you don't mind. And surely don't appreciate the little threats about my coming to some "harm and hurt." I don't like it one bit.

 

And no. This is NOT healthy. Let's nip this in the bud here and now.

Probably because you projected yourself into me. Beyond that I have no idea because it is truly fraggin' insane! The situation starting with the reasons for the fallout is completely insane. Your desire to "help" me understand myself, is totally inaccurate and annoying as hell, since you have zero desire to help me and zero knowledge and zero understanding. When I explain to you what's going on, you totally refuse to move away from the fantasy created in your own head about the situation. If anyone is in denial as to what you were trying to do, it's you. Your posturing drops my jaw in amazement.

 

Even worse, you believe I'm threatening you, where instead I explained the hurt and harm portion which is unhealthy. I can't help it if you wish to draw inaccurate conclusions. Once again, jaw dropping.

 

I'm done. It's now nipped in the bud with some of my own "truths" to you. The shoe's on the other foot.

[Touche]

Probably because you projected yourself into me. Beyond that I have no idea because it is truly fraggin' insane! The situation starting with the reasons for the fallout is completely insane. Your desire to "help" me understand myself, is totally inaccurate and annoying as hell, since you have zero desire to help me and zero knowledge and zero understanding. When I explain to you what's going on, you totally refuse to move away from the fantasy created in your own head about the situation. If anyone is in denial as to what you were trying to do, it's you. Your posturing drops my jaw in amazement.

 

Even worse, you believe I'm threatening you, where instead I explained the hurt and harm portion which is unhealthy. I can't help it if you wish to draw inaccurate conclusions. Once again, jaw dropping.

 

I'm done. It's now nipped in the bud with some of my own "truths" to you. The shoe's on the other foot.

 

And you're certainly entitled to your truths. I just have no frickin' idea what the hell you're talking about? Sorry, just being honest. I really don't.

 

Why aren't you calling out all the other people on your thread who kind of saw things the same way I did? I'm very curious about that.

 

It's not true to say that I have zero understanding or desire to help. Totally false. But hey, if that's what you think so be it.

 

Anyway, I'm not surprised that you didn't answer my very direct question about where I crossed some personal boundary.

 

I'm wracking my brain about it. If it's what I think you're referring to well, so be it. You've done the same to me many, many times over time. Only I gave you what you wanted. Kinda makes me feel a little used to be honest.

 

Oh well. We're never going to resolve this...and certainly not here.

 

It is what it is and that's that. I don't see why this needs to escalate.

[Trialbyfire]

Why aren't you calling out all the other people on your thread who kind of saw things the same way I did? I'm very curious about that.

Because they don't claim to know me and have a strong understanding of who I am and what I'm capable of incapable of doing. You on the otherhand, claim to know me better than I know myself, even though you've openly admitted within this thread that you don't know me and have projected yourself into me.

 

It's not true to say that I have zero understanding or desire to help. Totally false. But hey, if that's what you think so be it.

I'm entitled to stick to my opinion, same as you're sticking to your opinion which we know for false. At least some of my opinion is based on fact.

 

Anyway, I'm not surprised that you didn't answer my very direct question about where I crossed some personal boundary.

As expressed previously, my personal boundary is civil distance, as described earlier in this thread. I can tell the world about our falling out if you want, so they can get a feel of where my personal boundaries were mega exceeded.

 

I'm wracking my brain about it. If it's what I think you're referring to well, so be it. You've done the same to me many, many times over time. Only I gave you what you wanted. Kinda makes me feel a little used to be honest.

No, not the same way. Did you want me to explain it on the open forum?

 

Oh well. We're never going to resolve this...and certainly not here.

 

It is what it is and that's that. I don't see why this needs to escalate.

It doesn't need to escalate. It could have been nipped in the bud even before this thread was opened.

[Touche]

Because they don't claim to know me and have a strong understanding of who I am and what I'm capable of incapable of doing. You on the otherhand, claim to know me better than I know myself, even though you've openly admitted within this thread that you don't know me and have projected yourself into me.

 

Uhm, I was humoring you when I said that. I think I know you all too well. When you want something ethics and boundaries mean nothing.

 

I'm entitled to stick to my opinion, same as you're sticking to your opinion which we know for false. At least some of my opinion is based on fact.

 

Nope. My opinion is based on facts...the facts as I see them. Same as yours are based on the facts as YOU see them.

 

As expressed previously, my personal boundary is civil distance, as described earlier in this thread. I can tell the world about our falling out if you want, so they can get a feel of where my personal boundaries were mega exceeded.

 

Do what you want. My personal boundaries were exceeded as well but I let you do it to me. Because unlike you, I trusted you.

 

No, not the same way. Did you want me to explain it on the open forum?

 

Sorry but it was. When you needed information, you didn't care what was told to me in confidence. And if you want to air dirty laundry out in public, I can't tell you what to do but I'd surely advise against it for obvious reasons. You weren't kidding about "harm and hurt." Why are you trying to escalate this?

 

 

It doesn't need to escalate. It could have been nipped in the bud even before this thread was opened.

 

Oh really? How so? By dictating to me how and where I can post. Nope. That doesn't work for me.

 

I'd never be so arrogant as to tell YOU where and how to post. Never. Grant me the same courtesy, will you?

[Trialbyfire]

Touche, I give up, seriously. You make shyte up. You really do. Straight outta'...thin air, yes, thin air.

 

You want your personal boundaries maintained and want respect and yet never give any unless the person is doing what you tell them to. Then, they're Gods or Goddesses, so you enable the crap out of them, regardless of how realistic or good for them it is. That's the reality about being your friend. You have a need to control and consume the person. Never for their personal good, solely for what you believe you want to do, if you were that person. It fuels your Fantasy Island with the appropriate drama that keeps you feeling alive and entertained. Pure selfishness.

[Touche]

Touche, I give up, seriously. You make shyte up. You really do. Straight outta'...thin air, yes, thin air.

 

You want your personal boundaries maintained and want respect and yet never give any unless the person is doing what you tell them to. Then, they're Gods or Goddesses, so you enable the crap out of them, regardless of how realistic or good for them it is. That's the reality about being your friend. You have a need to control and consume the person. Never for their personal good, solely for what you believe you want to do, if you were that person. It fuels your Fantasy Island with the appropriate drama that keeps you feeling alive and entertained. Pure selfishness.

 

Wow! Talk about projecting. Unbelievable.

 

By the way, this is neither entertaining nor does it make me feel "alive." It's sad. Really, really sad as others have said.

 

I've made nothing up. And I don't tell anyone what to do. That's made up and you must know that.

 

I'm sorry that you think I'm such a worthless person. Please do ignore me then.

 

I will not continue this anymore. I won't. I tried but you just won't de-escalate this so that's it. I did my best.

[OpenBook]

I can tell the world about our falling out if you want, so they can get a feel of where my personal boundaries were mega exceeded.

 

Oh, do tell us!! Isn't that why you started this thread in the first place? to air your dirty laundry with Touche so that people could "take sides," as WWIU so eloquently put it?

 

Geez. I'm embarrassed for both of you.