DG is not writing to me

[donnamaybe]

I've seen it work when the guy is receptive and attracted.

 

If the guy is turned off, then it won't work either.

 

So now you know, then, that it isn't going to work.

 

I feel he actually holds you in disdain and plays with you online just for fun.

[Touche]

Dunno.....

 

Seriously, you don't know? That's sad then. And I know you know.

[Ariadne]

So now you know, then, that it isn't going to work.

 

I feel he actually holds you in disdain and plays with you online just for fun.

 

DG doesn't play with anybody. He is honorable.

 

Anyway, I'm off to work now.

[donnamaybe]

DG doesn't play with anybody. He is honorable.

.

 

Yeah, that's what those gals who used to date him/were friends with him said in that thread a couple years back.

 

Ariadne, you seem like SUCH a sweet girl (outside of a few biting posts I've seen). I hate to see someone waste their life away like this.

[xpaperxcutx]

For the past half hour I was trying to finish reading this thread, I can't help but think why A would put all her efforts into " loving" a man like DG for 4 years, and still be happy with the way he treats her.

 

A, I know you're not delusional, in fact you've given me great advice, but reading your thread makes me feel empty simply knowing that you're empty yourself, obsessing over this man. Is a Fabio look-a-like really someone you would want to spend the rest of your life fawning over?

 

I don't know your entire story but I know enough to know I understand what it feels like to be in such a position, just not to the extent that you've allowed to carry to thus far.

 

I hope you can remain chirpy and happy everyday, but we both know that will not be the case. His every response and email will dictate your days and weeks. I'm a new Age fanatic myself (tarots, horoscopes, etc), and I should know very well that the cards never lie. They may be cryptic, but if you read yourself twice in one sitting only to have the same answer given to you, you know that the universe is trying to tell you something that you've denied for the past 4 years.

[nittygritty]

As long as you continue to write admiration threads for him to read, DG doesn't have the need to write to you. You're already giving him what he needs to feed his ego. If you will stop all forms of trying to contact him and truly move on with your life, he will be more likely to try to contact you.

 

Have you ever considered the reasons why you have such strong feelings for a man that doesn't reciprocate those feelings? The distraction makes you as emotionally unavailable as DG is to you. You obviously want a romantic relationship or you wouldn't put so much time and effort towards keeping your DG fantasy going. You're going to have to let the DG fantasy go in order for that to be possible, with a man that's emotionally available to you.

[PinkToes]

I have an old friend who hasn't had a real relationship in years; she gets attracted to different men every few months or so, and gets caught up in the excitement of 'what if.' Maybe it's a guy at her church, or a realtor she meets somewhere, but she's friendly and she flirts and it makes her happy.

 

It's a fantasy, and she knows it. Well, she knows it on some level. She says she isn't interested in a relationship. I'm not sure I believe that, but it's really none of my business. She seems to enjoy these flirtatious fantasies; they don't cause her pain because she isn't invested in a response. She's making it up in her head and having a good time.

 

Not something that would work for me, but that's just me. My point is that she doesn't get upset that it's a one-sided experience. I just hate to see a situation that's causing you pain -- expecially if that pain is based on expectations.

 

If you could take this situation for what it is, enjoy it as is, and let it go, maybe it wouldn't drag you down so much. Unless I'm totally misreading the situation, you don't seem too happy with the way things are.

[grogster]

A fantasy relationship is much easier to maintain than a real one. Real people make demands, have expectations and have warts. On the other hand, a fantasy lover makes no demands on one's time and emotional and material resources, and is perfect in every way.

 

Unrequited love as a shelter from the storm of real love, which is always a tad messy, frustrating and disappointing.

 

When it's all in your mind, it's easier to control.

[marlena]

A fantasy relationship is much easier to maintain than a real one. Real people make demands, have expectations and have warts. On the other hand, a fantasy lover makes no demands on one's time and emotional and material resources, and is perfect in every way.

 

Unrequited love as a shelter from the storm of real love, which is always a tad messy, frustrating and disappointing.

 

When it's all in your mind, it's easier to control.

 

Absolutely. I have often thought the very same thing about A's fantasy. It is escapism. Fantasies are fun, you can twist them into any shape you want and they make no demands on you whatsoever. No harm, really. As long as they remain a fantasy, of course. Not my cup of tea but, hey, who are we to judge?

[donnamaybe]

When it's all in your mind, it's easier to control.

 

Which is why she started this thread in the first place which includes phrases like these?

 

Hi guys,

 

Denver guy stopped talking to me. I'm very upset.

 

I guess you can say that, since I haven't heard from him since two weeks ago.

 

And then to write DG e-mails like these?

 

Hey,

 

Would you forgive me for reacting bad to this email?

 

Would you understand me?

 

I may get frustrated at times, and I believe that's somewhat normal. I'll try not to get frustrated again.

 

But not hearing from you is ten times worse than being frustrated.

 

Please say something.

 

You always know just what to say, and I'll understand.

 

-----------

 

Hey,

 

If anything, I protested that I wanted more of you. You can't blame me for that, you are so awesome.

 

So, how are things going?

 

I miss you... <3

 

Then culminating with:

 

So since I've been so upset I've become a stoner.

 

I went to Venice beach to a doctor that prescribes smoke for people and told him I was stressed. So he gave me a year permit to smoke, so I'm all the time smoking and drinking to forget that DG is not writing to me. I can't believe it.

 

And there I was hoping to see him in November when he came to LA.

 

Sounds a tad out of control if you ask me and VERY unhealthy. I worry about this gal.

[Ariadne]

Hi,

 

Well, I'll be lying to say that reading all these posts doesn't affect me. I feel pretty queasy right now as it is.

 

On top of that, today I got my purse stolen with all my documents, and spent the afternoon in the DMV replacing ID cards, blocking bank cards etc.

 

Ariadne, you seem like SUCH a sweet girl (outside of a few biting posts I've seen). I hate to see someone waste their life away like this.

 

Thank you so much for saying that. I thought you didn't like me.

 

Sounds a tad out of control if you ask me and VERY unhealthy. I worry about this gal.

 

Well, the weed, the alcohol and the overeating are like meat to me now. So no worries there. Now I just exercise.

[Ariadne]

I'm a new Age fanatic myself (tarots, horoscopes, etc), and I should know very well that the cards never lie.

 

Well, I'm more into different religions.

 

But the readings I've gotten were very mixed. I couldn't draw a clear answer from them.

 

That was a poster who offered to do a reading for me after reading my threads, and I posted some of that (here and here).

 

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

[Ariadne]

Have you ever considered the reasons why you have such strong feelings for a man that doesn't reciprocate those feelings?

 

Yes, of course, I believe he is my soulmate.

 

I think that because of what I felt when I was with him. We had such enormous empathy that we knew what each was thinking and feeling at any given time, without talking.

 

With him we'd just look at each other and communicated.

 

Also, because of the way it felt when we touched.

 

And I believe we are the same in every way.

[Ariadne]

If you could take this situation for what it is, enjoy it as is, and let it go, maybe it wouldn't drag you down so much. Unless I'm totally misreading the situation, you don't seem too happy with the way things are.

 

Well, I get have my moments.

 

I'm usually a happy person. Just yesterday I got in the elevator at work and this man that I didn't know said, you look happy!

 

I said, I do? Well, that's good. He said, happy is good.

 

Thanks Pink.

[burning 4 revenge]

Yes, of course, I believe he is my soulmate.

 

I think that because of what I felt when I was with him. We had such enormous empathy that we knew what each was thinking and feeling at any given time, without talking.

 

With him we'd just look at each other and communicated.

 

Also, because of the way it felt when we touched.

 

And I believe we are the same in every way.

so if youre the same in every way, why do you need him?

 

what does that bring you?

[Jilly Bean]

Hi, A.

 

Hope you're feeling well today! Did you run on the beach during lunch?

 

BTW, always love your avatars. The new one is very cool.

[Ariadne]

so if youre the same in every way, why do you need him?

 

what does that bring you?

 

Oh, the questions...

[Ariadne]

Hi, A.

 

Hope you're feeling well today! Did you run on the beach during lunch?

 

BTW, always love your avatars. The new one is very cool.

 

Hey,

 

Yeah, I went to the beach and that's where the purse got stolen.

 

I change in the back of my car and left the door open.

 

Thanks, I like those melancholic ladies (and I wear tunics when I'm not working too).

[Jilly Bean]

Hey,

 

Yeah, I went to the beach and that's where the purse got stolen.

 

I change in the back of my car and left the door open.

 

Thanks, I like those melancholic ladies (and I wear tunics when I'm not working too).

 

Oh, no!

 

I remember when I lived in the South Bay, aka Redondo Beach, and I would be amazed at the people that left their homes open to go surfing and blading. That SO sucks! Hopefully you didn't have any cash in it, or anything irreplaceable.

[Ariadne]

Oh, no!

 

I remember when I lived in the South Bay, aka Redondo Beach, and I would be amazed at the people that left their homes open to go surfing and blading. That SO sucks! Hopefully you didn't have any cash in it, or anything irreplaceable.

 

Oh, pretty close by, I work around El Segundo.

 

I parked up on the cliff and went down there, and people usually walk by the cars to the ramp.

 

It had no cash fortunately, just my atm card and driver's license. So I guess it wasn't too bad.

 

Thank you. Hope you are having a good day wherever you are today.

[underpants]

Who???

 

You can fix the cards stolen thing. You are a resourceful and smart lady when you want to be.

 

Other then that all I can say is ...Chin up girl.

[Ariadne]

Who???

 

You can fix the cards stolen thing. You are a resourceful and smart lady when you want to be.

 

Other then that all I can say is ...Chin up girl.

 

Hey, thanks!

 

Yeah, good thing my son had some cash with him so that I could pay for renewals etc.

 

(Oh, I also had my work badge in the purse, so I couldn't get in the building and someone had to testify as witness for my name, for them to give me a temp pass to get to my office and make phone calls.)

[xpaperxcutx]

Well, I'm more into different religions.

 

But the readings I've gotten were very mixed. I couldn't draw a clear answer from them.

 

That was a poster who offered to do a reading for me after reading my threads, and I posted some of that (here and here).

 

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

 

A, The readings are actually quite similar. They both say that despite there being an intense passion between you and DG, there will never be anything physical. The thing is you've been emotionally attached for 4 years. Can you accept that emails will be the only thing that bind you two together?

[Ariadne]

Can you accept that emails will be the only thing that bind you two together?

 

Well, not even.

[AriaIncognito]

Ariadne -

 

It's been quite a while since I've been on the boards. I have to say, I'm really sad to see you're still posting about this same guy. I remember you posting about him when I initially joined here, several years ago. Surely you're tired of being hurt by him, aren't you?

 

Others have said pretty much everything that needs to be said. I can completely empathize with loving someone who doesn't love you back. Heck, you might remember my threads about "D" and how he and I had a physical relationship, but he never gave me what I wanted as far as a relationship. I believed that he was the one for me. In some ways, I'll always wonder about him, but you know what, him walking away, and me getting on with my life, was the best thing I could do for myself.

 

And it's the best thing you can do for yourself too.

 

Since D I've been in a relationship. What this teaches me (and the rest of us) is that if we are willing to let go, it IS indeed possible to find love again.

 

Will it be the same person? No. It won't. Will it be as good as your beloved ex, maybe it will be better, maybe it won't, but you'll never know if you don't take the chance.

 

I seriously think the best thing you could do for yourself is to join social groups that like doing things you enjoy. You mention really enjoying nature, so why not go hiking with a group of people? Walking the beach with a group, whatever. You definitely won't ever get over DG if you don't allow yourself to meet other people that could possibly open your heart to love again.

 

I know some people aren't considering what you had with DG real since you had no in person relationship, but I can understand what it's like to form a "habit" that is hard to break. You get used to emailing someone. Hearing from someone. Etc.

 

However i can guarantee you, it DOES get easier, but only when you let it. For the past few years, you've been hell bent on not letting it, for whatever reason. Why not make this the year that you let him go, and let you live?