Arch Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 Bet your parents are really proud of you, huh? You bet, Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 You bet, Figures.... Link to post Share on other sites
Gwyneth Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 Bet your parents are really proud of you, huh? As for this little tidbit: I certainly beg to differ with you on that. So wrong. Our parents are the ones who instill a value system. One doesn't just shed that once we turn 18 you know. Well that's your opinion. My mother's message wasn't "yes dear, now go ahead and find a married man, sleep with him, and Do get pregnant." That was not my mother's fault at all. So I don't know know where you get off saying this is a reflection of the way I was reared. I'm my own person, therefore I have set my own values as an adult. I don't live by my mother's rules as an adult--I didn't go into this thinking "gosh, my mother will be So Proud of me." I didn't go into this thinking about anyone else other than myself (as I have said before, this was a very selfish act on my part). So where you or anyone gets off blaming this on my parents' raising me is outrageous and pathetic, really. So if your child comes home and says "mom [dad], I'm pregnant," That's YOUR fault? Give me a break. Link to post Share on other sites
Arch Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 Figures.... Indeed it does , Looks like I am going to need another manikin soon Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 Indeed it does , Looks like I am going to need another manikin soon I'm sure you have a stockpile there. You are in a basement, no? Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 Well that's your opinion. My mother's message wasn't "yes dear, now go ahead and find a married man, sleep with him, and Do get pregnant." That was not my mother's fault at all. So I don't know know where you get off saying this is a reflection of the way I was reared. I'm my own person, therefore I have set my own values as an adult. I don't live by my mother's rules as an adult--I didn't go into this thinking "gosh, my mother will be So Proud of me." I didn't go into this thinking about anyone else other than myself (as I have said before, this was a very selfish act on my part). So where you or anyone gets off blaming this on my parents' raising me is outrageous and pathetic, really. So if your child comes home and says "mom [dad], I'm pregnant," That's YOUR fault? Give me a break. Gwyn, I don't mean to pick on you. It sounds like you're taking responsibility for your actions but to answer your question, YES, I would blame myself. I really would. Any parent would. I would wonder what I did wrong. Your own mother probably does but hasn't said anything to you. Maybe she did let you get away with too much as far as sex and boys and having your b/f over. That's all I'm trying to say. I'm asking you to be open to that possibility. Link to post Share on other sites
Meaplus3 Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 Well that's your opinion. My mother's message wasn't "yes dear, now go ahead and find a married man, sleep with him, and Do get pregnant." That was not my mother's fault at all. So I don't know know where you get off saying this is a reflection of the way I was reared. I'm my own person, therefore I have set my own values as an adult. I don't live by my mother's rules as an adult--I didn't go into this thinking "gosh, my mother will be So Proud of me." I didn't go into this thinking about anyone else other than myself (as I have said before, this was a very selfish act on my part). So where you or anyone gets off blaming this on my parents' raising me is outrageous and pathetic, really. So if your child comes home and says "mom [dad], I'm pregnant," That's YOUR fault? Give me a break. I could be very wrong here.. but I dont think you were the topic here. Gwen, your expecting this is a great and upbeat time in your life. While you are soon to be a parent your not yet, however you have a very special gift on the way. Be proud of that..Do not worry about how that gift has come to you.. just be blessed for it. I hope I made sense. AP:) Link to post Share on other sites
Arch Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 I'm sure you have a stockpile there. You are in a basement, no? Basements a tad dank, I live upstairs. I wish I had a stockpile but I ran out a while ago, so I am just getting a new one each time the one I am "using" breaks down. I am also going to have to pick up some more peanut-butter, I am running out. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 Basements a tad dank, I live upstairs. I wish I had a stockpile but I ran out a while ago, so I am just getting a new one each time the one I am "using" breaks down. I am also going to have to pick up some more peanut-butter, I am running out. Your sick and twisted ways are so endearing. Link to post Share on other sites
Gwyneth Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 I understand what you are saying, and I respect your opinions as parents--if you are, but to answer the OP's question, I personally do not think it should be a problem, with a level of respect and trust, to have the boyfriend stay over. I only say this because if they are going to do anything, that night will be the night they most likely will not be doing it. In this case, if her daughter does have sex that night, then yes, mother is partially to blame for that because she allowed the boy to stay over. But anything that happens outside her realm I don't think is her fault. Trust me, my mother takes no blame for this. I'm 26--how can anyone feel my mother is responsible? If I was 16, then yes, But not a 26 year old. She has four other children to look after--two of them still are minors under the age of 13. whatever mistakes she feels she made with us older ones, she can correct with the two younger ones. OP: Talk to the boy's parents and see how they feel about this. Maybe it can be a boy/girl sleep over with parental supervision. I do hope the children understand that they will not sleep in the same bed together... Link to post Share on other sites
Arch Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 Your sick and twisted ways are so endearing. Indeed they are, you can just feel the love Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 And have you walked in the shoes of a teenage girl whose boyfriend stayed over your parents' house? I'm not a parent yet, but I am that girl who was 16 and whose boyfriend slept over while my parents were there as well. Actually I have, that's why I said I do remember. Not at my parents house, but at my aunt's house. The "fun" aunt who let us do whatever we wanted, that's why she was a great grandmother at my age 43. Thank God I didn't get pregnant, but I did get an infection that burned like hell. That was enough for me to say, these dudes got the cooties and let that stuff go. All I am saying is why tempt with having them together in close quarters? Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 Indeed they are, you can just feel the love Oh yeah..it's just pulsing through me as we speak. Oh and sorry so long in responding. I had to go lock my child up in his room for the night. Link to post Share on other sites
Arch Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 Oh yeah..it's just pulsing through me as we speak. Oh and sorry so long in responding. I had to go lock my child up in his room for the night. You should do some S&M, for as sadistic as you are I am sure you would love it Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 You should do some S&M, for as sadistic as you are I am sure you would love it I don't know the first thing about it. I wonder if kids of parents who never disciplined them are the ones into all of that. Hmmmm. They crave the discipline they never received as children. Bend over. I'm known around here for my wooden spoon you know. Link to post Share on other sites
Arch Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 I don't know the first thing about it. I wonder if kids of parents who never disciplined them are the ones into all of that. Hmmmm. They crave the discipline they never received as children. Bend over. I'm known around here for my wooden spoon you know. I am usually the one holding the wooden spoon but, I would make an exception for you , or we could take turns Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 I am usually the one holding the wooden spoon but, I would make an exception for you , or we could take turns You absolutely need more beatings than I do so you're wise to make an exception in this case. Oh and mods yes, I'm still on topic. We're talking about guiding and disciplining children on this thread. Arch is one in desperate need of discipline. So did your parents let your g/f sleep over in your room when you were in high school? Did they leave a pack of condoms in your nightstand drawer for you? Link to post Share on other sites
Melvll Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 oh boy... I m only 22 and I remember ALOT from a few years back. My mother did allow my boyfriend to sleep over ALOT. Most people are right she has probably had sex anywhoo. I have to admit now that I am older I dont understand why my mother allowed this is the house back then. I wish she would of been more firm on me. Maybe I would of never done so many mistakes.. giving me the okay for that was like allowing me to do alot of other things I wish I would have never done. Now it is stuck in the back of my head for a very long time. When you think you have actually found the right person you wish he would have been your first or at least one of your first. I dont know .. just my point of view Link to post Share on other sites
Arch Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 You absolutely need more beatings than I do so you're wise to make an exception in this case. Oh and mods yes, I'm still on topic. We're talking about guiding and disciplining children on this thread. Arch is one in desperate need of discipline. So did your parents let your g/f sleep over in your room when you were in high school? Did they leave a pack of condoms in your nightstand drawer for you? I never found a girl who was quiet as interested in BDSM as I was and since the thought of regular sex seemed rather boring to me it was never an issue. Sex in itself to me is rather meaningless - Domination\Submission is where the fun is at. I certainly did talk to my parents about intercourse though, their stance was if you are going to do it, just make sure you "do it" the correct way which is the logical approach to the issue. Link to post Share on other sites
Arch Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 oh boy... I m only 22 and I remember ALOT from a few years back. My mother did allow my boyfriend to sleep over ALOT. Most people are right she has probably had sex anywhoo. I have to admit now that I am older I dont understand why my mother allowed this is the house back then. I wish she would of been more firm on me. Maybe I would of never done so many mistakes.. giving me the okay for that was like allowing me to do alot of other things I wish I would have never done. Now it is stuck in the back of my head for a very long time. When you think you have actually found the right person you wish he would have been your first or at least one of your first. I dont know .. just my point of view Woh Woh Woh, I don't think anyone here is supporting random sex. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 I never found a girl who was quiet as interested in BDSM as I was and since the thought of regular sex seemed rather boring to me it was never an issue. Sex in itself to me is rather meaningless - Domination\Submission is where the fun is at. I certainly did talk to my parents about intercourse though, their stance was if you are going to do it, just make sure you "do it" the correct way which is the logical approach to the issue. The "correct way?" So they only allowed the missionary position or no sex for you? Very interesting post, Mel. I think you proved the point about what some of us were saying. I'll bet you'll raise your kids differently. But no point in beating yourself up over it (not any BDSM reference here Arch, calm down). You really can start to live your life the way you want to starting now so that you don't have any more regrets later. Link to post Share on other sites
Arch Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 The "correct way?" So they only allowed the missionary position or no sex for you? Very interesting post, Mel. I think you proved the point about what some of us were saying. I'll bet you'll raise your kids differently. But no point in beating yourself up over it (not any BDSM reference here Arch, calm down). You really can start to live your life the way you want to starting now so that you don't have any more regrets later. aw oh well I still love you Sex in itself is not bad or good it is sex. Under the right circumstances where the two people feel love towards each other and proper contraceptive is used I fail to see why you think its so bad. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 Do you think it is wise to allow your 15 year old daughters boyfriend to stay the night even if it is on the sofa, but the sofa is in the room next to your daughter and you are asleep on the floor above? Well, My son is 17 and has been having sex with the gf since he was 15 and she 14 So cool... And now she comes to my house every weekend and they lock themselves up in his room and I'd bring them drinks and snacks on a tray and leave them at the door. I buy him tons of condoms too, you know, so he never lacks. I wish she'd be on the pill or something too, sigh, what can you do. But my son says he's ok. He wants her to stay over but they don't let her. Although he goes to her house and stays there for hours and usually they have sex there too. I told him, if you are ready, is the way of the Tao.. He says that that if the father of the gf comes complain to me or something I'm going to tell him, sorry, is against my religion. Link to post Share on other sites
directx Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 Well, My son is 17 and has been having sex with the gf since he was 15 and she 14 So cool... And now she comes to my house every weekend and they lock themselves up in his room and I'd bring them drinks and snacks on a tray and leave them at the door. I buy him tons of condoms too, you know, so he never lacks. I wish she'd be on the pill or something too, sigh, what can you do. But my son says he's ok. He wants her to stay over but they don't let her. Although he goes to her house and stays there for hours and usually they have sex there too. I told him, if you are ready, is the way of the Tao.. He says that that if the father of the gf comes complain to me or something I'm going to tell him, sorry, is against my religion. Interesting. But what exactly is against your religion? Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 Interesting. But what exactly is against your religion? Oh, to put a stop in it. The way of the Tao is the way of nature, and I'm kind of a Taoist at heart. Link to post Share on other sites
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