Walking away Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 now MY gramma always said, it's not the baggage...it's how you pack it! i still think mine might be worth this and has a shot. we had three mini-breaks he didn't make it two days through. this is his third attempt. if i'm still at this place, he might get lucky. if not... My guy called and I didn't call him back. Two days later, he texted me, "You're killing me. I called you two days ago!" Talk about a trip! Can anyone say emotional rollercoaster ride? (And this was just last week!) Link to post Share on other sites
LuCidiTy Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 I am removing myself from the situation. I told him, "If you ever find it in your heart to let someone in and I am still on your mind, come find me." Until that happens, I refuse to be his therapist or emotional crutch. i did a similar thing. i've emotionally detached and have done well. when he contacts me, i don't get sucked back in. it barely even registers. i do cry now and then but mostly out of frustration and because i think it's all so sad that something that was so great and could have been so much more is being derailed. i don't cry because i want him back or expect him back in any way. even if he gets through his issues (which ARE honest ones...he's honest to a flaw), there are no guarentees that, like you said when he finds it in his heart to let someone in, he'll think of me or if he does that i'll be here. i made it very clear that i would NOT be contacting him, that he had his issues to deal with and clearly couldn't deal with me too, and that the way he had to REALLY come back was to show his face here. otherwise i am on with my life. Link to post Share on other sites
Walking away Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 Well.... If these men are capable of love, they will come back FIXED. Link to post Share on other sites
LuCidiTy Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 My guy called and I didn't call him back. Two days later, he texted me, "You're killing me. I called you two days ago!" Talk about a trip! Can anyone say emotional rollercoaster ride? (And this was just last week!) the first thing mine said to me after i didn't contact him for 11 days was... lets see. I didnt get a text...i didn't get a call... i said i told you i wouldn't be doing that... nice, huh? rollercoaster is a term i used five times yesterday in an IM chat with a friend. lol! Link to post Share on other sites
Walking away Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 I am disappearing. I can't take anymore. I am sure mine isn't done with me yet. But, I sure as heck am done. I know when to cut my losses. There are too many men out there who wouldn't do this. This ride is ending. Link to post Share on other sites
LuCidiTy Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 I am disappearing. I can't take anymore. I am sure mine isn't done with me yet. But, I sure as heck am done. I know when to cut my losses. There are too many men out there who wouldn't do this. This ride is ending. ugh...what a way to have to put it...done with you. yeah...why put yourself through the torture? Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovebites77 Posted March 20, 2008 Author Share Posted March 20, 2008 Maybe I'm just a fool and a romantic to boot, but I like to believe that if that connection was real, and if he really did care, he'll show back up and realize his mistake. If he doesn't, well,then, he couldn't have really loved me. Quote from U2, "You can run from love, but if its really love it will find you, and catch you by the heel'. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovebites77 Posted March 20, 2008 Author Share Posted March 20, 2008 I am disappearing. I can't take anymore. I am sure mine isn't done with me yet. But, I sure as heck am done. I know when to cut my losses. There are too many men out there who wouldn't do this. This ride is ending. Congratulations for your strength to walk away, maybe it will wake him up?? Link to post Share on other sites
LuCidiTy Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 Real change (that sounds like a political slogan), and real progress. Without that, and a recognition of whats going on, and a will to face your fears, there is no hope for this crap. Why let fears run your life? I've said before, i think he is wrong in this, but he has let his fears win. And I'm not in the mood for instant replays, but I'm ready for a new level if he comes back to the game prepared and has learned his lesson well. : ) that's strength. Link to post Share on other sites
Walking away Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 (edited) Congratulations for your strength to walk away, maybe it will wake him up?? for four months. I walked away quietly. He came back with a vengeance. But, alas, nothing has changed. He is still messed up. His issues are no different than they were last time. Yes, absence made the heart grow fonder. He says that he thinks I am incredible, but I apparently didn't inspire him to make real change. And, sadly, I believe that he cares for me as much as he is capable. It just isn't enough. It never would be. I would imagine that he will always be in my life if I let him. He told me he wants me in his life. But, it is on his terms. And they suck. But, now it's my way or no way. I want a healthy relationship and this is NOT health. It is crazymaking. I played by his rules and they about killed me. Now it is MY turn. Edited March 20, 2008 by Walking away Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovebites77 Posted March 20, 2008 Author Share Posted March 20, 2008 Thats not a healthy relationship--you should be able to depend on your significant other to be there for you--not up and disappear when things get tough. As a rule of thumb, you don't turn your back on those who love you. Do they not realize how it kills us softly, those of us who are left behind wondering??? Lay out your terms, the reality of how hard it is loving him--maybe if he loses you for good, he will make an honest effort to change. I suppose thats up to him in the end. Link to post Share on other sites
LuCidiTy Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 Maybe I'm just a fool and a romantic to boot, but I like to believe that if that connection was real, and if he really did care, he'll show back up and realize his mistake. If he doesn't, well,then, he couldn't have really loved me. Quote from U2, "You can run from love, but if its really love it will find you, and catch you by the heel'. someone has to be the romantic. and there's hope as long as we're alive as long as it speaking of romantic, i'll be in ny in april and was thinking about texting him saying empire state building 102 floor this date this time. see if he shows... (we're ld...which has sucked too). what do you guys think? goofy huh? Link to post Share on other sites
Walking away Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 He knows how I feel. I told him. He just can't handle it. He can't handle love. It is so sad. I slept horrible last night. I feel like I've been hit by a truck today. To see such potential disappear like sand in my hand is very hard. But, it is time for self protection. HE won't protect me. I must. He is in therapy. Perhaps that will help. We are also long distance, so that is a great hinderance to him. He hates it. Yet, he contacted me after four months KNOWING that we still live in different states. Crazy, crazy, crazy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovebites77 Posted March 20, 2008 Author Share Posted March 20, 2008 Thats a fun idea! could be painful if he doesn't show though. That would make me a little sore, I know. But if he did, ahhh, how sweet.... Personally, my head is telling me to give up on my pain-in-the-arse, its going on months since we last spoke. My gut keeps saying, give him time. Big problems need big time to be corrected, I guess. The torment.....sigh...... Link to post Share on other sites
Walking away Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 someone has to be the romantic. and there's hope as long as we're alive as long as it speaking of romantic, i'll be in ny in april and was thinking about texting him saying empire state building 102 floor this date this time. see if he shows... (we're ld...which has sucked too). what do you guys think? goofy huh? Just don't set yourself up for heartache. If he shows, that is great, but if no changes have been made, you are in the same mess.... If he doesn't show, you will be hurt. Guard your heart. Please. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovebites77 Posted March 20, 2008 Author Share Posted March 20, 2008 I'm sorry--I know that pain all too well. It sucks! Maybe therapy will help him, if he wants it to, that is. Can't help the unwilling, right, ladies?? Link to post Share on other sites
Walking away Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 That margarita still sounds good to me... Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovebites77 Posted March 20, 2008 Author Share Posted March 20, 2008 By God, we have earned one...or two..... Link to post Share on other sites
Walking away Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 You have no idea how much you ladies have empowered me and comforted me today. I was feeling lousy and now I feel stronger. Thank you. You are a blessing to me. WA Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovebites77 Posted March 20, 2008 Author Share Posted March 20, 2008 Glad to have helped, and maybe save one from the torment of this crazy kind of love. Things will work out for you, one way or the other. As for your guy, I hope he gets a dose of reality. Link to post Share on other sites
Walking away Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 And as for yours....I hope HE gets a dose of reality too.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovebites77 Posted March 20, 2008 Author Share Posted March 20, 2008 I suspect he already has, but is still immobilized by his fears....it's sad really...what a waste of a beautiful relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
LuCidiTy Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 Thats a fun idea! could be painful if he doesn't show though. That would make me a little sore, I know. But if he did, ahhh, how sweet.... Personally, my head is telling me to give up on my pain-in-the-arse, its going on months since we last spoke. My gut keeps saying, give him time. Big problems need big time to be corrected, I guess. The torment.....sigh...... nah i'd be fine. you can do both. get on with your life. If he gets to the point where he can come back and wants to AND you're still there it'll be good. And if he doesn't you'll still be good. it's logical if you can be strong and accepting and i had too much wine too Link to post Share on other sites
LuCidiTy Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 You have no idea how much you ladies have empowered me and comforted me today. I was feeling lousy and now I feel stronger. Thank you. You are a blessing to me. WA ditto. thank you! so much. Link to post Share on other sites
LuCidiTy Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 Just don't set yourself up for heartache. If he shows, that is great, but if no changes have been made, you are in the same mess.... If he doesn't show, you will be hurt. Guard your heart. Please. always. and you yours. Link to post Share on other sites
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