cuteblondegurl Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 I am currently OW and have been for the last 1.5yr. Link to post Share on other sites
scaredinlove Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 I am the OW and I am the type who is completly in love:love: 5 yrs I have been in love with this man, for how long more I will be the OW, only God knows probably for a long long time. I love him !!!:love: Link to post Share on other sites
PollyIvy Posted June 30, 2007 Share Posted June 30, 2007 I was a OW for a year, and he was the OM. Our families hung out together. It all ended fine. Link to post Share on other sites
IfWishesWereHorses Posted June 30, 2007 Share Posted June 30, 2007 Can someone tell me what paranoic means???? Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted July 1, 2007 Share Posted July 1, 2007 Can someone tell me what paranoic means???? I saw that. I guess she's practicing gaslighting. You know, for her next stunt as OW. She just doesn't know we are on to her. Link to post Share on other sites
overandout Posted July 1, 2007 Share Posted July 1, 2007 I am an xOW although one person in particular doesn't want to believe it, but that's her problem. I got fed up with waiting too, no sign of movement etc. After months apart he would like to resume the affair but I am not going back to the merry-go-round. Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted July 1, 2007 Share Posted July 1, 2007 This article on the cakeman sums it up pretty well. I'd say more often than not, people who have affairs fall into the 'cakeman' category. Yes this article does get into the mindset of most cheaters. Some have sexual addictions also. Very rarely is it a case of a bad M with the H/W meeting another, falling in love, then leaving. I was an OW and I hated it...I hated allowing myself to be used and abused. It started in the beginning of 2004 and I ended it in the middle of 2006. He contacted me again a couple of months ago, as the M ended the first part of this year. He has made some good changes in some areas, although in talking to him I sense that he has started an A with a MW. He talked way too much about this lady for it to be a casual friendship. I have been talking with an old boyfriend and it WAS getting serious, BUT I am all about family and my kids and grandkids are a BIG part of my life....he accepts them and has known my kids since they were young, although I just don't see the big happy family thing happening here. It was my kids and grandkids that have been there for me, not these guys.....I used to sell my kids out at the drop of a hat for a relationship, BUT not anymore...... Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted July 1, 2007 Share Posted July 1, 2007 Raises hand. Those familiar with my story know that I wasn’t aware that my MM was still married when we were together, so even though I did not consider myself an OW during the relationship I sympathize with OW because I became one when the relationship ended. I dealt with the same treatment most OW deal with. I was repeatedly told that I had no right to be upset because his wife was the “true victim” and he did the right thing by staying with her. It was a very painful time for me. I received very little support from our friends even though I had been lied to and abandoned. I eventually lost all our mutual friends because his wife decided she now wanted to be a part of their little circle (to keep an eye on him) and made it known that as long as she was there I was not welcome. The MM was treated like some sort of hero for “doing the right thing” and I was cast out because my presence made everyone feel awkward. Years later I hear that they still make jokes about me and the story of how he lied to me and cheated on his wife, has been changed and now it is told as if I was some sort of predator that lured him in against his will and his wife saved him from my clutches. Its all very sad and pathetic. I am glad I am no longer friends with those people and I find his wife’s behavior to be sickening. She knows what he did, but chooses to turn a blind eye to it because she doesn’t want to be alone. Turning me into the villain makes it easier to live with him, I guess. If she wants to waste her life with a man that would cheat on her, that’s her choice. Even though I am also a BS, I find myself sympathizing with the OW. Often times they are just as much a victim as the BS. Wow girl, that is messed up, my story is simular....they all sound like really messed up people just like the ones I was dealing with....be glad you are rid of all of them as I am.... It's hard to stand when your character has been torn down, and a slap in the face when others make light of a lie....BUT in the end the truth will come forth..... Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted July 1, 2007 Share Posted July 1, 2007 Can someone tell me what paranoic means???? It means of or relating to the characteristic of paranoia. What is paranoia? When a person thinks another person is using gaslighting techniques to brainwash them when in fact the call is coming from "inside the house" :lmao: "Somebody get the phone already" :laugh::lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
oyster Posted July 2, 2007 Share Posted July 2, 2007 I was an OM for 7 months, took 3 months break, back as OM. Giving her a last chance to end her marriage legally. Link to post Share on other sites
TogetherForever Posted July 2, 2007 Share Posted July 2, 2007 I was an OM for 7 months, took 3 months break, back as OM. Giving her a last chance to end her marriage legally. You might want to change your location & signature:). Is there a time limit that you set for her to end her marriage? Link to post Share on other sites
bish Posted July 2, 2007 Share Posted July 2, 2007 I was a OW for a year, and he was the OM. Our families hung out together. It all ended fine. Only because your husband never found out. Pray he doesn't. Link to post Share on other sites
precious1357 Posted July 3, 2007 Share Posted July 3, 2007 I truly AM OW and I really really am ashamed of myself. I've tried to break it off with MM. He has been married FOREVER. We are not kids (over 50). The relationship WILL end because my self-esteem and morale is decreasing rapidly. Link to post Share on other sites
TogetherForever Posted July 3, 2007 Share Posted July 3, 2007 I truly AM OW and I really really am ashamed of myself. I've tried to break it off with MM. He has been married FOREVER. We are not kids (over 50). The relationship WILL end because my self-esteem and morale is decreasing rapidly. Precious, Are you that ashamed of yourself that you'd break it off with your mm? Link to post Share on other sites
precious1357 Posted July 3, 2007 Share Posted July 3, 2007 Raising my hand as a former OW...I married my guy:love: and we have 3 beautiful children together. I really would like to believe that my relationship with MM will work out. He is miserable and wants to get out, but he is doing it slowly. Link to post Share on other sites
precious1357 Posted July 3, 2007 Share Posted July 3, 2007 Precious, Are you that ashamed of yourself that you'd break it off with your mm? Yes, I am trying to break it off. I talk about it with him and he gets so sad and then we may make it through a couple of hours but I start crying and he feels bad. Its very emotional. Link to post Share on other sites
precious1357 Posted July 3, 2007 Share Posted July 3, 2007 This is my first time doing something like this. I never thought I would. I used to be deeply religious. Now I have learned to try not to be so judgmental. I understand the whole religious thing. My MM and I are in the same church. Unfortunately, before this, I was truly against this and spoke on it and now I'm the OW. I feel awful most times and I keep praying for forgiveness because I'm guilty of committing sin. Link to post Share on other sites
Cliche Posted July 3, 2007 Share Posted July 3, 2007 I am an OW and have been for a year, but I've only known I was the OW for 6 months. It is a short lived state, I promise you all. I'm getting my strength up before I end it so that the pain I've felt for the last 6 months is pretty much the friggin' end of it. I'm not wallowing for another 6 months after the end of the A...nosiree. I'm walking away with dignity and grace, just like I did from my fargin' awful marriage. I don't do these guys the favor of letting them see me crawl away buried in pain. I will never do this again. I actually ended the A for a brief period a few months ago, during that time got asked out on a date, went, and googled the guy and checked his court records to make sure he was truly divorced. Romantic, no? But I'm protecting myself from here on in. Link to post Share on other sites
new beginning Posted July 4, 2007 Share Posted July 4, 2007 I'm new, but I am a OW... or former OW, as he is now getting a divorce? Link to post Share on other sites
oyster Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 You might want to change your location & signature:). Is there a time limit that you set for her to end her marriage? updated as per your reminder. I just changed my expectations and outlook on the relationship. I don't expect a future with her anymore. More a convenience relationship. I got other issues in life to attend so being with her right now is kind of a a stability factor for me as I don't need to go meet other womans right now. Link to post Share on other sites
yousaveme Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 I am a OW... Have been for about 18 months now. Been caught. And we are still together. Link to post Share on other sites
TogetherForever Posted July 6, 2007 Share Posted July 6, 2007 I am a OW... Have been for about 18 months now. Been caught. And we are still together. Hey Yousaveme, How are you? How are things in your relationship, any changes, still the same? Haven't seen a post from you in like forever. Link to post Share on other sites
yousaveme Posted July 6, 2007 Share Posted July 6, 2007 Im fine. Things are good in the relationship. Some changes. Things are moving in a good direction. And we are happy Hey Yousaveme, How are you? How are things in your relationship, any changes, still the same? Haven't seen a post from you in like forever. Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted July 6, 2007 Share Posted July 6, 2007 Im fine. Things are good in the relationship. Some changes. Things are moving in a good direction. And we are happy Good to see you around and glad that you are happy! :bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
TogetherForever Posted July 6, 2007 Share Posted July 6, 2007 Im fine. Things are good in the relationship. Some changes. Things are moving in a good direction. And we are happy :bunny:Good for you!!:bunny: Don't be such a stranger! Link to post Share on other sites
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