adnCat Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 K-os. I think the ring is lovely! If you are doing the one ring thing, I think your choice is better than the rings in your second round of links. If it is her only ring, she'll want something she can wear all the time. My ring has a moderately high setting, and I take it off my finger and wear it on a chain for things like rock climbing and other fine-jewelry-damaging-activities. I love it, and we are going with a plain wg band so I have something to wear when I'm playing in the dirt and my diamond is around my neck! Another huge plus with your/her ring is that you will not need to get it insured. It sounds like you know a lot about your soon to be fiance, and you did your research in picking out the ring, and you paid attention to hints she was dropping about what she liked. The proposal sounds very cute, and she will probably love telling the story more than showing off the ring. Not that the ring isn't nice, but looking at it just can't convey the emotion she felt at the moment, while tell the proposal story will. I have both a gorgeous ring (he did a stellar job picking it out!) and I had a lovely proposal story, and I love love love telling everyone how he did it! Also, about the sizing- She might find it isn't the perfect fit after a week or so of wear. You finger kind of "learns" to wear a particular ring. In my case, I told my bf size 4.25 or 4.5 would work. He got a 4.5 and it was fine. But after a week or two, it started to feel loose, and the jeweler recommended that I go down, past a 4.25, to a 4.0. So I had it sized down to a 4.0. I didn't think my fingers were that small, but even at a 4, it slides a bit more than I'd like. I'm not getting it resized again, though, partly because of the cost, partly because I have a hard time believing I need a ring in the size 3 range and partly because I expect to swell a bit everywhere if and when I'm expecting. Even though I do know someone with a 2.5 sized wedding ring finger, it still seems so tiny! Also, of the 6 women I know (myself included) of that have recently been proposed to, I'm the only one that cried. I must have shed enough tears of joy to make up for the other 5 ladies. So don't be disappointed if you don't see waterworks. But, I'd been waiting 8 years for it, and a couple friends of his teared a bit when they heard the news. His parents totally cried, too! Everyone was waiting for it, I guess! Hope everything goes well today and you return to the boards to tell us how it went! Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 Good luck K-os! Glad you made a decision, looking forward to hearing about how it all went. Link to post Share on other sites
Author K-os Posted June 2, 2007 Author Share Posted June 2, 2007 She said yes! The whole drive up there she kept saying, "You're going to ask me to marry you today, aren't you?" Needless to say, this made me pretty uncomfortable, even though I knew she was half joking. Later she said she thought the chance was 50/50, but thought "NO way it'll actually happen today" everytime she seriously considered the possibility. Anyway, luckily for me she started drawing words in the sand at just the perfect spot - right at the crest of the spit when the lighthouse finally comes into view off in the distance. After she closed her eyes and opened them again she said, "I knew you were going to do that!" But she thought I was just joking. Giving her some harassment for harassing me in the car all morning. Needless to say, her mind did a few backflips as she came to realize what was really happening. All in all, it went quite well. Oh, and the ring was perfect! My intuition was spot on. I made it clear several times that we could get something different if she didn't like it, but she thought it was just as perfect as I did. As I was telling her about all the shopping and research I had been doing, I told her that the advice of a lot of people from both forums and articles was to never, ever spend any less than two or three grand. We both got a good laugh out of that. She's like, "Geeze. That sounds more like a better absolute high point rather than the lowest!" Thanks again to everyone that's offered their advice here! Link to post Share on other sites
corazoncito Posted June 2, 2007 Share Posted June 2, 2007 CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny: You guys sound like you're off to a great start!!! Link to post Share on other sites
ShoeGirl Posted June 3, 2007 Share Posted June 3, 2007 Congrats! I'm glad you stuck with what you thought she would like and that she loved the ring! Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted June 3, 2007 Share Posted June 3, 2007 I am so happy for you K-os. Thats great news, well done! Link to post Share on other sites
catrocks Posted June 4, 2007 Share Posted June 4, 2007 Congratulations K-os, it sounds like it was a perfect proposal. Well done for trusting your instincts even though some of us disagreed! At the end of the day you knew what she wanted, thats so great. Congrats!!! Link to post Share on other sites
crazy_grl Posted June 4, 2007 Share Posted June 4, 2007 CONGRATULATIONS! Link to post Share on other sites
nittygritty Posted June 6, 2007 Share Posted June 6, 2007 Congratulations K-os! Link to post Share on other sites
Krytellan Posted June 6, 2007 Share Posted June 6, 2007 Awesome for you. Sounds like a cute proposal story. You'll never forget it. And it sounds like you two are perfect for each other. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted June 6, 2007 Share Posted June 6, 2007 I don't really like the ring and I think it should be diamon, unless you're completely broke. I wonder if $500 is how much you CAN afford or how much you want to afford. How much you spend speaks of how much you're willing to sacrifice of your own pleasure for the one you love. If you make $70k a year, spending $500 on a one-in-a-lifetime engagement ring might sound offensive to her. But you know your income, debts, and other circumstances. I didn't mean to criticize you, but just to help you seem like a knight in her eyes. Link to post Share on other sites
adnCat Posted June 6, 2007 Share Posted June 6, 2007 I don't really like the ring and I think it should be diamon, unless you're completely broke. I wonder if $500 is how much you CAN afford or how much you want to afford. How much you spend speaks of how much you're willing to sacrifice of your own pleasure for the one you love. If you make $70k a year, spending $500 on a one-in-a-lifetime engagement ring might sound offensive to her. But you know your income, debts, and other circumstances. I didn't mean to criticize you, but just to help you seem like a knight in her eyes. RP, read the recent responses. She didn't want a diamond, she loves the ring, peridot and all, and she said yes! I love my diamond ring, but apparently for this couple, $500 for a pretty peridot in a unique setting is very suiting. Kudos to K-os for sticking to his gut, and kudos to both of them for deciding to express their individuality and not to perpetuate the stereotype that a diamond is necessary. IMO, how much a guy spends on an engagement ring doesn't speak much of anything. In fact, I think they've done studies, and the pricier the ring, the more likely the marriage will not last. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted June 6, 2007 Share Posted June 6, 2007 IMO, how much a guy spends on an engagement ring doesn't speak much of anything. In fact, I think they've done studies, and the pricier the ring, the more likely the marriage will not last. Having gone from poor to rich (and back again ) several times due to the speculative nature of my career, I have friends from many different economic backgrounds. Trust me, what you say is true - the bigger the rock, the sooner the divorce. I've seen it play out many times... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
I Love Twinkies Posted June 6, 2007 Share Posted June 6, 2007 See, I don't want a big diamond, just a high quality one. So my marriage would be high quality, too. Link to post Share on other sites
I Love Twinkies Posted June 6, 2007 Share Posted June 6, 2007 I don't really like the ring and I think it should be diamon, unless you're completely broke. I wonder if $500 is how much you CAN afford or how much you want to afford. How much you spend speaks of how much you're willing to sacrifice of your own pleasure for the one you love. If you make $70k a year, spending $500 on a one-in-a-lifetime engagement ring might sound offensive to her. But you know your income, debts, and other circumstances. I didn't mean to criticize you, but just to help you seem like a knight in her eyes. Yeah, I agree. Of course she's going to pretend to like the ring. If I was presented that ring with a proposal, I would think it was a joke,he had just bought me a ring as a gift, and was joking about the proposal part. I'd have a good laugh out of it. I do agree that the man should put himself out a bit to demonstrate how important and strong the commitment is. I'm talking a payment plan you can pay off in a year or two. But this couple seems very young and happy. To each his/her own I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
I Love Twinkies Posted June 6, 2007 Share Posted June 6, 2007 Having gone from poor to rich (and back again ) several times due to the speculative nature of my career, I have friends from many different economic backgrounds. Trust me, what you say is true - the bigger the rock, the sooner the divorce. I've seen it play out many times... Mr. Lucky I don't take those supposed studies as valid because if a guy makes $35,000/year, a 'pricy' ring to him would be a $3000 ring, but it is very doable if getting married to this woman is really important to him. A super rich guy might spend $15,000 plus on a ring. Now THAT is a *pricy* ring. This couple would see the $3000 ring as a cheap ring. So basically the study concluded that the richer the man is, the more liklihood of divorce, which in this day and age is true with rich men dropping their "starter wives" in favor of "trophy wives." (See the continuing drama "The Starter Wife" on USA for further reference.) RP - I appreciate your directness on this. Cool. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted June 6, 2007 Share Posted June 6, 2007 f a guy makes $35,000/year, a 'pricy' ring to him would be a $3000 ring, but it is very doable if getting married to this woman is really important to him. ...which brings us to a second thought: why is it so important? A ring that exceeds his financial possibilities might not necessarily mean that the guy is so in love with the woman. It speaks more of a lack of closeness if you look at it deeper. The girl may be wealthier or better in some way so the guy is trying hard to impress her. It's really not about the ring, but about the love people share. After all, his money will soon after the engagement become her money, too. It's a traditional symbol of commitment that origins from decades ago, when the ring carried the message: "See what an expensive ring I bought you - that proves I WILL marry you... now give me pussy." Nowadays the ring doesn't mean he will marry her for sure. It's socially acceptable to cancel everything on the wedding day; it's morally acceptable to buy a house jointly and have twins then divorce after a year. Shoot me if I am wrong about this: the wealthier the girl the more expensive ring she will get. Link to post Share on other sites
I Love Twinkies Posted June 6, 2007 Share Posted June 6, 2007 I'm not saying that I don't agree. But really the wealthier the man the pricier the ring, just like the wealthier the man, the pricier the car he'll own. I'm saying that a man will want to put himself out and invest a bit for a ring if he's serious about getting married. Like I said, not putting himself in debt for years to come, but making a statement. It is a sign, to me, that he is serious about it. He means business that he wants to marry you if he is making the effort. You are worth making a few payments for. don't you think? I do. Link to post Share on other sites
crazy_grl Posted June 6, 2007 Share Posted June 6, 2007 You are worth making a few payments for. don't you think? I do. It's almost mind-blowing how many levels of shallowness this statement encompasses. If the guy I love and want to marry and he asks me to marry him, he could give me a ring out of a cereal box. An expensive *ss ring doesn't prove he's any more serious. And if you need it as "proof" that he is, then you don't know him well enough to be marrying him. Link to post Share on other sites
I Love Twinkies Posted June 6, 2007 Share Posted June 6, 2007 It's almost mind-blowing how many levels of shallowness this statement encompasses. No, I'm not shallow at all. I don't demand this, but a man who really values this woman is going to step up to the plate and make an effort with the woman he wants to marry. If he gets her a cheap ring, he is showing very little effort and commitment to the whole marriage thing and I question if he really wants to get married or is just going through the motions. It's like was brought up before, men won't think twice about spending $15,000 for a Harley. So...isn't a woman a little more important to you than a Harley that she is only worth a half-assed cheap commitment ring? Link to post Share on other sites
crazy_grl Posted June 6, 2007 Share Posted June 6, 2007 If he gets her a cheap ring, he is showing very little effort and commitment to the whole marriage thing and I question if he really wants to get married or is just going through the motions. If a man really wants to get married, it'll be obvious to the person he's asking that he's not just going through the motions. But I'm sure plenty of guys get expensive rings and are just going through the motions. An expensive ring proves nothing. K-os got an inexpensive ring and it's pretty clear he's crazy about his girl and dead serious about marrying her. Link to post Share on other sites
I Love Twinkies Posted June 6, 2007 Share Posted June 6, 2007 It's almost mind-blowing how many levels of shallowness this statement encompasses. If the guy I love and want to marry and he asks me to marry him, he could give me a ring out of a cereal box. An expensive *ss ring doesn't prove he's any more serious. And if you need it as "proof" that he is, then you don't know him well enough to be marrying him. No, you don't get it. It's not about 'proof' and such. It's just that a man will go the extra mile for a woman he loves. Like I said...he has no problem buying a $7000 plasma TV or a $15,000 Harley. Isn't the woman he's marrying worth spending a little on a ring for? It's like, oh, golly gee, i'll just get her this el cheepie, and go get that Harley I want. I don't want a guy like that. I want a guy who wants to go the extra mile and make an effort, not some half-assed going through the motions crap. Link to post Share on other sites
I Love Twinkies Posted June 6, 2007 Share Posted June 6, 2007 If a man really wants to get married, it'll be obvious to the person he's asking that he's not just going through the motions. But I'm sure plenty of guys get expensive rings and are just going through the motions. An expensive ring proves nothing. K-os got an inexpensive ring and it's pretty clear he's crazy about his girl and dead serious about marrying her. He's young and inexperienced. He'll learn, and once he gets his foot in a career he can always upgrade the ring. That's what's great about it. Anyway, Record Producer stated pretty much the same thing and you're not riding her ass. Link to post Share on other sites
crazy_grl Posted June 6, 2007 Share Posted June 6, 2007 No, you don't get it. It's not about 'proof' and such. It's just that a man will go the extra mile for a woman he loves. Like I said...he has no problem buying a $7000 plasma TV or a $15,000 Harley. Isn't the woman he's marrying worth spending a little on a ring for? It's like, oh, golly gee, i'll just get her this el cheepie, and go get that Harley I want. I don't want a guy like that. I want a guy who wants to go the extra mile and make an effort, not some half-assed going through the motions crap. You've said you're not shallow, but you keep saying thing that sound shallow to me. I'll admit maybe there's some mystic, ethereal symbology you attribute to the ring that makes what you're saying not sound shallow. If so, I just don't get it, because to me it's just a piece of jewelry. Link to post Share on other sites
I Love Twinkies Posted June 6, 2007 Share Posted June 6, 2007 No, it's not that mystic, ethereal symbolic crap. It's just that if a guy who makes meager earnings as say....a kindergarten teacher, and saves, say....$5000 (just a random number here), to buy a ring for his girlfriend to propose, he has really planned and made an effort to make an impression to the woman he loves. He has made efforts to do it right with the ring and the proposal by saving the money to buy this ring instead of say, that supergyro souped up laptop computer he's salivating over that many guys would just buy without a second thought - he will do it right and put forth effort to being married to him a joy. That's all I have to say on the subject. Congratulations, k'os. Link to post Share on other sites
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