Take a look at this ring and tell me what you think

[MJTig]

Eh. If he really wants to show the woman he loves her, and is serious about the commitment, he'll spend some money on a decent ring.

 

well maybe his girlfriend is not as materialistic and shallow as you and cares more about him than the ring.

 

do you work for DeBeers or something? Just from your repeated insistence that he buy a huge diamond...

 

----------------

 

Anyway, it was said upthread that if you spend a lot of money on camera stuff maybe you should look at this as a similar investment- that was pointed out well.

 

You can always propose with one of the ones you showed us and then on an anniversary "upgrade her" if she wants it

[green-eyed beauty]

I'm not the only one who said that, though. I do think a good guy is going to spend some decent money on a ring if he's serious about the commitment. I mean he'll spend it on stuff for himself, why not a substantial amount on the woman you love and want to spend the rest of your life with? I'm not talking a $20,000 ring here. And no...I'm not shallow at all. I'm very loving and giving in a relationship and when my guy proposes, I know he'll go the extra mile to get a decent ring for his lady.

[rainfall]

I'm not the only one who said that, though. I do think a good guy is going to spend some decent money on a ring if he's serious about the commitment. I mean he'll spend it on stuff for himself, why not a substantial amount on the woman you love and want to spend the rest of your life with? I'm not talking a $20,000 ring here. And no...I'm not shallow at all. I'm very loving and giving in a relationship and when my guy proposes, I know he'll go the extra mile to get a decent ring for his lady.

 

 

Decent doesn't always have to equal expensive. I'm sure there are some very nice rings out there that won't cause a couple to start off a marraige in debt.

[Chamari]

If there are concerns about a ring not looking enough like an engagement ring, why not pick up a cheap ring that has the look just to get the message out, and then use the real ring as a wedding ring?

 

Heck, my brother in law proposed on the spur of the moment without a ring--they stopped by walmart that evening and picked up a $10 ring to announce the engagement and then replaced it with a real ring later on.

[stillafool]

You know your gf's taste better than we do. Is this the style of ring she wants for marriage? If so this ring is perfectly fine. If she wants something more traditional there are more choices out there in your price range. Do you live in a large city like L.A. or N.Y.? If so, you can find plenty of choices in your price range. You just have to be sure that's the type of ring she wants. Good for you that you aren't going in debt for a ring.

[allina]

I may be a bit late with my input here, sorry.

 

But in case I'm not i wanted to ask if your gf specified that she wanted a different gemstone? I see that you put in thought in to the stone by saying that it's your birthstone and her favorite color, but her loving the color green doesn't mean that she would like a green gemstone. I would actually stick to colorless stones. Things like her color preference can change over time, plus a green gemstone won't always match everything.

 

I would go with a stone like dimonique or white topaz with a classic, timeless design.

[ruby_gloom]

K, I really think your sentiments are entirely sweet. Very lovely.

 

Your heart and mind seems to be in the right place: getting her something that she will like and mean a lot to both you and her, not getting her something just for the sake of "showing it off."

 

Diamonds are pretty, yes, but, imo, they are not worth the price. Why do women want a diamond, anyways? I mean, honestly? Is it really because that stone is really one of the sturdiest stones ever? Yea, I doubt that's the real reason.

 

IMO, women who wants diamonds want them because they are the "tradition" but moreso because they are the expensive tradition. I know a lot of females who want big diamonds for the sole sake of being able to say: "Oh, look what he bought me! Isn't is lovely?! (read: super huge and mighty expensive)" and that, imo, is just really ridiculous.

 

I think women who actually turn down proposals because of the "wrong ring" is way too Sex and the City, meaning that they are way too superficial and extremely self-centered. Poor guy, really.

 

Note that this is not meant as leeway so the guy can go off and buy the cheapest thing ever, no. That's just wrong as well.

 

But I suppose that's the point: a engagement ring should not be about the money or even about the "wow" factor, but about the sentiment. It should also be a ring that "stands" out from the rest of the rings because it is a special ring, and given that, you don't want other to confuse it with just any ordinary ring.

 

Seriously, though, women who are like this . . .

 

Back to your OP: I think the ring you posted is really pretty. I would like it, but others are right in that it doesn't look like an engagement ring. In fact, I'm wearing a ring right now that looks kind of similar to it, and while I love it, I in no way think it looks even close to an engagement ring.

 

The ring LB posted was beautiful, however. It's not only pretty, but also quite unique. I have yet to see someone wear a ring similar to that one just for just. It actually looks very much like an engagement ring.

 

But maybe it is a little more than what you had in mind. Do you think you would be willing to spend $1K on a ring if you think she would really like it, like that one or any other? Maybe it's not so much about willing, but rather--would you be able to without having to put other important things on hold?

 

Does she like her birthstone?

 

I myself like your idea very much. Do you think she would?

 

Also, allina has a really good suggestion in that you can go with a colorless stone. That would also be very pretty and very practical.

 

Further, you could read the symbolism/ideology behind birthstones/gemstones in general (because they are all supposed to represent something) and you could pick out something that "represents" her. Just an idea.

 

But if ya wanna get fancy, get her a blue sapphire. Those gems blow diamonds out of the water any given day. But they also blow major holes in your pockets!

 

Also, I think that you have it right in picking a silver band: it'll make the colored stone stand out much more, making it even more pretty.

[K-os]

Wow, I never dreamed I'd get so much awesome feedback so quickly. Thanks again everyone! Hopfully this post will go through as my last couple haven't.

 

My girl never specified a specific gemstone or anything, but she has used the words "really colorful" and "lots of different kinds of stones". She has no idea that I'm about to propose (hopefully), so it's not like she was saying I want this for my ring or go find something like this. But you can totally tell that certain comments about other things apply just the same to an engagement ring she might dream about, you know? Plus I just know her really well (again, hopefully). I do know that she isn't head over heals for her own birthstone. She doesn't hate it, but wishes it was a better one.

 

It would probably be doable to spend $1k if the right ring came along, but I wouldn't ever choose a pricey ring over another based mostly on the price tag. Same goes for a cheaper ring. I'm not going to specifically look for a bargain just so I can save a few dollars. The money really isn't a huge issue here. Finding something that fits her and has the right balance between individuality and tradition is.

[Trialbyfire]

but she has used the words "really colorful" and "lots of different kinds of stones".

Eureka!! Okay, she's already defined what she wants. Get her a birthstone eternity ring. This way you can put the peridot with her birthstone and any other birthstone that is meaningful to her.

[K-os]

I like that idea! I was really thinking about something exactly like that, but then I run into the same problem. An eternity band seems even less like an engagement ring than the one from my first post, or on par at the very least. And if I'm going to go so against the grain of society, then I might as well get the one I found that was so unique. Pairing peridot with amethyst would definitely set it apart, but an eternety band is still a very common style.

 

Definitely an option to keep in mind though. I had kind of forgotten I was considering one earlier.

[norajane]

My girl never specified a specific gemstone or anything, but she has used the words "really colorful" and "lots of different kinds of stones".

 

She has no idea that I'm about to propose (hopefully), so it's not like she was saying I want this for my ring or go find something like this.

 

But you can totally tell that certain comments about other things apply just the same to an engagement ring she might dream about, you know?

 

Um, actually, I wouldn't jump to that conclusion. If someone asked me what kind of rings do you like, I'd tell them I love sapphires and rubies. If I were asked about an engagement ring, my answer would be completely different. An engagement ring is not like any other ring.

[K-os]

Totally, norajane. An engagement ring is different and requires much more thought. I think it's pretty normal for people to want different things for an enagement ring. Thank you for bringing that up. But to clarify, she wasn't just pointing out typical jewelry in a case or on someones hand.

 

Let me give an example or two of what I was talking about. I can't remember if I've related this story here or not, so forgive me if I have. I went along to her math class not way too long ago, just so our day wouldn't be interupted and it makes class more bearable for her with me by her side. A girl that sat near-by had recently gotten engaged and was sporting a very cool, wide band with a bezel set blue sapphire and diamond accents. She seemed very excited about it and made sure to point it out to me during the class. We discussed it while we were leaving - as it would've been awkward with the other girl listening in. She didn't care much for it at first, but it started to grow on her. By that point she thought it made an awesome engagement ring since it was so different and colorful. A bit more recently a checker at her store got proposed to right there while she was ringing up groceries in the store. Her boyfriend came through her line with flowers for her to ring up and a hidden ring. The subject of the ring naturally came up as we were talking. I can't quite remember, but this one either had a bezel setting or a stone stuck way out. I agreed with her that it would be nice for a ring you're going to wear everyday for years to not get caught on everything all the time. She also mentioned the other girl's ring again and how it would be so cool to have an engagement ring with color instead of a boring white one.

[polywog]

I have a amethyst and peridot cocktail ring. The color combination of the two stones is really pretty.

 

Have you thought about looking for a ring that includes both of your birthstones?

 

Just have to remark that I have ameththyst and peridot earrings that people go crazy over everytime I wear them. This is Off Topic, I guess, but maybe not. Your suggestion of combining these handsome birthstones is interesting, tho it might be hard to find a ring with that combo. It's a neat idea, tho this is coming from someone who is not big on The Big Diamond engagement ring.

[K-os]

These next two rings are mostly just for fun. I'd be really curious to see what people's responses might have been to my first post if I had given one of these links instead:

 

http://antiquejewelrymall.com/r197p.html

http://antiquejewelrymall.com/r197p.html

 

I'm wondering if maybe some of the people that had a problem with the first one would have been more okay with either of these versions. I'm not considering them as she wants a gemstone, but it could definitely be cool to get an upgrade to either of these metals while keeping the peridot.

[LucreziaBorgia]

My response would be the same. Pretty ring, but it just doesn't look like an engagement ring.

 

You may have already mentioned this, but I may have missed it. When you two get married, are you going to have wedding bands, or are you going to use the ring you give her as her engagement ring as her band? Are you going to have a matching one, or something similar?

 

I guess the reason I ask, is that the ring you just showed won't work with a wedding band. It will have a gap between the ring and the band from the way the ring is shaped.

[K-os]

We both discussed it in reference to other couples and agreed that it's a weird tradition. We were both under the impression growing up that a wedding ring and an engagement ring were different terms for the same thing. Afterall, why on earth would you buy one really fancy ring when you get engaged, only to feel the need to buy another much less fancy ring closer to the wedding? Then it took me a while to actually wrap my mind around the idea that people actually wear two rings on one finger! I seriously thought someone was playing a joke on me with that bit of information. Needless to say, visions of an emperor without clothing started to appear in my head. Anyway, opinions could possibly change, but right now we both don't like the two rings for her, one for him concept. I'm sure we'll just have one for each of us.

 

I believe antique wedding sets were almost never made to fit together as snuggly as they do today. That didn't become a concern until much more recently. As those last two rings I just posted are recreations of a real ring from the 1920s, it would certainly be fitting for a second ring to fit less perfectly than your average modern wedding set. It would actually be more "correct" for rings of that style to be worn with a bit of gap.

[caramba]

Actually. The Engagement Ring and the Wedding Band are two diffrent rings.

 

The Engagement ring is a ring given from the man to the women symbolising their engagement to be married. She will wear this ring for six months, a year, however long before the actual wedding. People will see it, perhaps compliment on it and know that she is indeed taken.

 

The Wedding Ring is the ring that you exchange during the ceremony. It is usually included in the vows. ("With this ring I thee wed" etc) You put it on her finger and she puts yours on your finger during the actual ceremony.

 

I think its more special if the Wedding Ring is a ring that you have not worn until this day when you become husband and wife - and after that you'll wear it forever.

 

.just my 2 cents

[corazoncito]

Anyway, opinions could possibly change, but right now we both don't like the two rings for her, one for him concept. I'm sure we'll just have one for each of us.

 

Discuss it and then do whatever you two want. The "tradition" of wearing two rings apparently really didn't take off in the US until after WWII and was mostly the result of marketing schemes by DeBeers and other jewelers.

I know married couples who have two rings, one ring (usually just the simple band, no engagement ring), or no rings (my parents). How many rings they wear has no bearing on whether they have a good marriage or not. I think having compatible tastes and values, being able to communicate their needs and wishes to to one another, and being in love has much more bearing on the success of a marriage. And it sounds like you two of you have these qualities, so the jewelry issue will work itself out well.

 

You have your whole lives together. It's not like this is your only window of opportunity to buy each other gifts. If later you decide you want another ring or a different ring (or a horse or helicopter or whatever) you can get it then.

 

Good luck! You seem like a really sweet guy. I hope you'll update us after the proposal!

[allina]

These next two rings are mostly just for fun. I'd be really curious to see what people's responses might have been to my first post if I had given one of these links instead:

 

http://antiquejewelrymall.com/r197p.html

http://antiquejewelrymall.com/r197p.html

 

I'm wondering if maybe some of the people that had a problem with the first one would have been more okay with either of these versions. I'm not considering them as she wants a gemstone, but it could definitely be cool to get an upgrade to either of these metals while keeping the peridot.

 

I really dislike colored gemstones so I'm putting that aside because I know some people love them

 

My problem with the ring is the style, it reminds me too much of a hippie toe ring. It's also slightly masculine. I think the ring that LucreziaBorgia (I think it was her) posted back on the first page would make a beautiful engagement ring.

[K-os]

Well, I am now in possession of a shiny new ring! I finally ended up going against the better judgement of a lot of you and went for the first one afterall. But I want to thank everyone for their great input and advice. Just because I didn't follow most it doesn't mean that it wasn't helpful. It was great to have a place to get out all of my thoughts on the matter. Reading all of your responses helped me to ensure that I've considered all of the angles, and answering your posts helped me to think everything through better than I would have on my own. For some reason, even after all of the warnings, I just feel much more confident in the decision. Sure, it's not the safest choice, but what's life without a little risk, right? I just couldn't get over that "gut feeling". Perhaps I'll kick myself later, only time will tell.

 

Anyway, I decided yesterday to have it shipped out overnight (only $20 and they ship the same day) since we're both free tomorrow. It looks even better in person! It also just so happend that that ring came standard in exactly her size, so I didn't even have to get it changed. A sign perhaps? I had originally planned tomorrow as the day that would work out best, but had since given up as I didn't know if I would find the right ring in time. It's awesome that it's worked out so well thus far.

 

So here's the plan for anyone that's interested. We both live in the Puget Sound near Seattle. Two hours north is the Strait of Juan De Fuca. Up in that area a bit east of a town called Port Angeles is the longest natural sand spit in the country, called Dungeness Spit. It's a four and a half mile strip of sand, rocks, and beachwood. Quite the natural phenomenon. I hiked it once years ago as a boyscout, but she's never been there. Heck, she doesn't even know we're going there. All she knows is that we're going for a long hike about two hours away. As the last hike we went on was a 3,000 foot mountain, she's convinced herself we're going to Mount Raineer or Baker or another mountain in the area. I think she'll be even more thrilled when she discovers we're heading to the ocean.

 

So we're going to spend the morning hiking out into the strait on this huge bar of sand, eating and resting along the day. When we get out towards the end I'm going to find a nice stretch of wet sand and a stick to make drawings with. I'll start just drawing whatever cute things I come up with in the moment that will make her laugh. Knowing her, she'll grab her own stick and join in immediately. After a while of making murals in the sand, I'll ask her to close her eyes and turn around so she can't see my next drawing until I'm finished. That would be a pretty normal thing for me to do as I like to surprise her with little, simple things all the time. Then as you might have guessed, "Will you marry me?" will be my next masterpiece. She'll open her eyes and hopefully water will start coming out of them. There's a lighthouse at the end, so right after that we'll take a quick tour up to the top to enjoy the amazing view. You can even see over to Victoria, BC across the water if you use their binoculars.

 

So that's my plan. Wish me luck!

[crazy_grl]

I hope she says yes and she likes the ring! You seem like such a sweetheart. She's a lucky girl.

[Trialbyfire]

The area sounds gorgeous. Perfect for a romantic proposal. Good Luck!!

[ShoeGirl]

I read all of your thread the other day but I didn't have any advice to contribute since I know very little about engagement rings. Anyway, your plan sounds perfect! I have friends in Seattle and I hear it has been warm and sunny, and not raining there, hopefully tomorrow will be perfect for you. I'm glad you found a ring that you think is perfect, I hope she loves it as much as you do. Good luck!

[pelagicsands]

As the last hike we went on was a 3,000 foot mountain, she's convinced herself we're going to Mount Raineer or Baker or another mountain in the area.

Maybe she's hoping for double your last effort, and entry into the mile-high club.

 

Anyway, you're such a romantic. You're making my anal sphincter pulsate in anticipation. Please report back on all the dreamy details. Except for the lighthouse bit. You don't want to begin a new chapter together on rocky ground.

[K-os]

Maybe she's hoping for double your last effort, and entry into the mile-high club.

 

Oh my.

 

I was confused at first, but I guess a mile high is only 5280 feet. I don't know why I've never thought of that before. Sounds like a great alternate way to join the club. Much more comfortable and much less risky than an airline latrine.

 

Anyway, you're such a romantic. You're making my anal sphincter pulsate in anticipation. Please report back on all the dreamy details. Except for the lighthouse bit. You don't want to begin a new chapter together on rocky ground.

 

This part has me a bit more confused.

 

Looking past the disturbing sphincter bit, what was it you were trying to convey about the lighthouse? What's wrong with details from there, and how would that put us on rough ground? I'm so confused. Forgive me if I'm being dense and missing a hilarious joke.

 

Anyway, here's a quick picture of the spit for anyone who's interested:

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Dspit.jpg