Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[hurting_in_nw]

Just wanted to clue you in on something, something small that might have had a lot of impact on the stress that ended up eating away at our marriage.

 

The past week, with your other son's father staying here with me, I've had a tremendous amount of help in the mornings...help getting the kids ready, getting breakfast made, coffee made etc...things you NEVER did. Ever. Today, with him not here, it was stressful again, and I realized this. Maybe if you weren't so concerned with coming home from work and going right to sleep...maybe if you'd sacrificed twenty minutes of your precious sleep and worked with me as a team on our kids, things could have been different.

[randuff]

Am-

 

I think of you constantly day and night, wondering if you are thinking of me. Although it breaks my heart that we aren't together anymore I can and will survive this. I have never loved anyone so much as I do you. Never have I been so real, so genuine about my feelings for someone.

 

After T (EW) and I divorced it took no time at all to get over her because I wasn't in love with her anymore. She did too many hurtful things for too long for me to care any further. And though I should hate and despise the things you did to me I can't help but forgive you and want to try to work things out for us. I know you say it isn't about that. I know you say that you must figure yourself out and find out who you truly are. Why can't I go down that road with you and support you??

 

The days seems easier when you are involved in them. Nights more calming and peaceful. What happened to the love you had for me? Did it just fade away like steam from a boiling kettle? How could you tell somone you loved them so much, that they meant everything in the world to you and one day just say goodbye.

 

You said you didn't want to continue hurting me anymore and I appreciate that. But why would someone who cares about someone else so much do things to hurt them? I know this is why you say we can't be together and you need help. You say you are a fu**ed up person and you want to be better and I know you can be. I see it when I lie next to you and look into your gorgeous green eyes. It's as if I can look into your soul. A pure, loving, caring soul who wants good things for people.

 

Maybe it is time you start to take care of yourself and maybe it is time that I move on with my life. But I don't want to move on yet. Especially without you. I miss you dearly and think of you often.

 

The last three months of our time together I tried to focus on spending as much time with you as I could. I wanted to be with you to make up for the first year and a half when I wasn't there for you as much as I should have been. Too little too late I suppose.

 

Goodbye Am, I hope that you will always remember me as someone you spent four good years with and I hope you never regret the time we were able to share, I know I won't. You will always hold a special place in my heart and I will always be the friend you can count on through thick and thin.

 

I love you with all my heart and soul,

 

Ran

[Arazi1982]

I just miss you

[justice]

*phone rings*

Me: Hello

xh: Hi how're ya doin'

Me: Who is this? (knowing full well who it is)

Him: Oh c'mon you know it's me

Me: (in a bored, disinterested tone) Oh, ok

Him: You know you could at least try to sound happy that I called!

Me: Why would I be happy that you called? You never cared enough to call when you were cheating and I was trying to save our marriage, so why should I start caring that you call now?

Him: Please can't we just talk without fighting? I called to see how you are doing.

Me: I'm doing just fine, alot better now

Him: Really? I worry about you, you know.

Me: Look, I don't have the time for this, I'm getting ready to go out

Him: Where are you going? Are you going alone?

Me: *laughs* That's none of your business, and if it were, I'd tell you that no, I'm not going alone. (true, as I had the dog and was taking her to the vet)

Him:Is it _________? Are you two an item now?

Me: None of your business

Him:Hey I was wanting to ask you out on a date, there's a car show this weekend and I thought maybe you might want to go, I know how you love cars, we could have some fun, relive all the good old times when we were together?

Me: Actually I'm already going, relive the good old times? I don't think so, the good old times were you lying to me about where you were when you were with _______, and me sitting at home by myself crying, I don't think those were good old times for anyone except you. Look I really have to go now.

Him: So you won't go with me? Are you going with him? I don't like him, never did, he's going to try to get into your pants, that's all he wants...

Me: You should know that. Pot. Kettle. Black.

You know why don't you give _________ a ring and see if she wants to go, oh wait, I forgot, she's in Canada, get someone else to go with you, anyone else but me, we are divorced, that's for a reason, I don't date cheaters, and I certainly wouldn't date you again.

Him: sighs in exasperation

ME: We wouldn't be in this situation if you would have kept it in your pants, now look, you have nothing, no one to go to the car show with, only your mom for company, you still live at home for christ's sake, you did this now you deal with it, I want no more of you at all!

Me: *click*

 

This was an actual phone call from a few days ago. I'm not interested now, nor will I ever be.

He moved back in with his mom after our divorce, she was thrilled and he's too stupid to see how she enables him and always has.

As for me, I'm happy, I have friends now, nice clothes, a nice ride and a beautiful home that I now own (well in a few more payments anyway)

I can stay up and dance all night if I want with whomever I want, I can laugh, and sing and really feel it, I'm through being betrayed and hurt and of feeling like I was worthless, you are only worthless if you let someone make you feel that you are. The choice is yours.

Ex H is now overweight from eating all of those grease smothered foods his mom cooks, he hardly ever has new clothes and he's suffering for what he did.

As for me, I continue to go on, forward, not backward.

[WhiteKnight]

Dear Mrs V

 

You were a good person who I first met you online through the chatrooms that we both enjoyed. It was an enjoyable experience I once had with you whenever our relationship felt so strong and we had a lot of things in common.

 

I was kinda glad that you accepted me in a way to marry you but whenever I discovered or was led to believe that you were already married. I refused to believe that you were, or at least to the level that I could not understand why you accepted me to marry you in the first place. That I would not know and probably will be meant for the best that I shouldn't really know the truth.

 

If you were trying to save and value the friendship of what we had back then before the relationship, unfortunately we have destroyed a lot of things between us in a way that I could not describe.

 

After you had gone behind your husband's back again, the guy who I made friends with and the same fellow who told me to leave him and you, and anyone alone because of I had gone behind your back and told the husband exactly what you were doing by dropping the hint. You failed to learn your lesson several times.

 

And yet you still contacted me behind your husband's back, as if you were clinging onto me. I didn't like that to be honest. I was trying to let you go because you are MARRIED to someone who I can't have you. Even if you cheated on your husband to be with me doesn't make any sense because you played myself and my friends who got involved with you are all skeptical about how you treated us in the end.

 

Now that we are your friends and you talk to us now and then. We are still unsure about what your real intensions are. But know this, I still have information about how you got involved with me and at the same time, your husband's friend is well aware of this but he also knew how you got involved with another guy online as well (so I've been told). I don't know V, you really messed up your marriage and destroyed your friendships with your friends who truly loved and cared for you. Yet you still treat us like we are your friends and yet - you try to ignore whatever you did.

 

You go to this 'Landmark' course and make myself and your ex, Mr K - to make us believe that you have let go of the past and embracing the future to get any more new possibilities that are endless.

 

You tell both of us about the Landmark course, and we are skeptical about it to see if you were truly 'redeemed' in a way that you would not cheat on your husband again. But, I don't think so.

 

Its not what Mr K and I want you to do, we wanted you to understand that even whatever your are doing for that Landmark course sounds very skeptical and all part of being hypnotised and forcing us to believe that these people could make you let go of the past so easily. We don't think its true and it can't be done so easily.

 

You have to understand that you fully have not broken up with us, you only had terminated the relationship and pusehd us back on the side line which we don't want to be used or scene in that matter.

 

When I had moved on and found a new love of my life, you cried out through your msn status to say "... Don't let me go..." With a love heart to symbolise for me. I had no choice in the matter my friend, my ex... I wanted to leave you alone entirely and move on with my life in order to sacrifice myself in a way of letting you go if my heart and mind were to survive.

 

I was so depressed on how you used me, hurt me and made me suffer the way I did. Then I betrayed you by telling the husband with a hint about what you were doing behind his back, but it was the save you from this stupidity of trying to drag other people to become your 'lovers' and then you dumped them so easily after 3 months. Man... you did not change even after you broke up with us.

 

I will admit, both your friend Mr K and I were depressed in a way that we hoped you would change and become a better person but you are still the same despite doing that Landmark course. We understand you are doing what is best for you and we support that reason alone, but for a friendship to be healed successfully... you have to understand that should not let that happened again in your life.

 

I respect your husband and believe me I don't want to hear about any disappointment anymore. I stopped caring about you because you hurted me so much and its none of my concern now.

 

I know you want to be friends but is it what I want too? I will be your friend and that's cool except the friendship between you and I will never be the same as we once had. You consider me as a 'good friend' and yet that you contradicted yourself about me had betrayed you. I have not betrayed you, if I would have... your marriage would have been divorced anyways.

 

I'll have to say that its not nice for both of us in terms of where we ended up with, but I know we are still managing a failed friendship and try to resolve it. But forcing me is not the way, you should not rush it. Also getting my mobile number but I ignored and slightly declined your request because I was unsure about you and I still can't trust you yet. I'm waiting for the barrier, whatever it is between us to be broken through so I can trust ya.

 

As you want to be my friend, you are the Initiator... I only hope that one day we could truly become great friends again, maybe even close 'buddies' and see each other in person however... in time that can tell.

 

Until then, I wish you well with you Landmark training course and hope your marriage will bloom without me around to witness it. However I will always appreciate that you are doing something in some way to try and encourage me to join along to help our friendship and make it better than what it was. However as I'm rather skeptical about it all, its safe to say you can move on without me.

 

Its your life, and I have my own to run or ruin. Don't want you to hurt me again.

 

Thank you for what we had though, it was very special and it made me come to realise that I have been even more stronger and mature than I was in dealing certain things.

 

I love you, both far and near and remember one thing... there will be a spot of me will truly remember you as a person who helped me grow and experience what love is all about. Thank you...

 

~ S

[Myz_Heavenly]

But I have finally realized that what I was missing wasn't you, but the feeling of having someone who I thought cared deeply about me.

 

You did that well, or at least pretended well. But that is your personality. I will admit I never have felt as loved by someone as I did you..and I missed that terribly. But, I have never seen someone whose entire mood and personality could change so quickly.

 

OMG!! This is my situation EXACTLY!!! To see it in words just did a lot for me. You will never know how much that part of your thread just helped me ShockandAwed...

[Myz_Heavenly]

Okay...I have come to realize that the reason why it is so hard for me to deal and move on is b/c I am always receiving constant reminders of the guy who just disconnected communication w/ me for no reason. For one, his sister is my brother's wife and his name ALWAYS comes up. I am posting here today b/c I am finding it rather difficult to not contact him b/c of a remark that one of his older sister's made to me yesterday regarding our so-called past relationship. Aaagh!!! I really would like to tell him to keep my name out of his mouth:

 

So...Dear P.,

 

Keep my f*ing name out of your pussy-a** mouth. Thanks a bunch.

 

(Whew...thank goodness for this thread...!!)

[LoveLace]

What a good idea...but which Ex do I pick? I have to say Matt, my high school sweetheart, and fiance for a very short time. I went off to college while he dropped out of school, and left him feeling inadequate, abandoned, lost; I had so much fun that I slowly fell out of love with him, just lost interest like I never imagined I could. But he broke with ME, his reason being that he wasn't "good enough" for me; once, he wanted to join the army but I begged him not to go, begged till blue in the face, and he didn't go. But I picked up and left for college like it was nothing, however I bawled for days because of it.

 

He joined the military; perhaps he was signed up before he even broke up with me. He tried to reconcile once and I had no interest what so ever.

 

I heard he got married a couple years after graduating. We ran into each other, and past feelings all came rushing back. He was ready to leave his wife for me. And I wanted to marry him again. And then, BAM, I remembered all the reasons I didn't love him anymore. All the things that bored me, etc. But he was the sweetest guy ever. I had changed a lot by then; I was an alcoholic and a party girl. I finally just dumped him in the most upsetting, silent kind of way. And we haven't spoken since.

 

I heard they have 2 kids now. I wish I could tell him, that I'm sorry I ddin't recognize how lucky I was; or how much he loved me. The 2nd time around, I realized I was the one who wasn't good enough for HIM. Here I am 30 and crying about still being single and no luck finding Mr. Right. I sometimes think it was Matt, and I missed my chance. Or this could be my punishment for treating him badly; for almost letting him wreck his marriage for me. Although I didn't love him anymore; I'm so very sorry for letting things end the way they did and he didn't deserve it. His wife and kids are so very lucky. When we talked about marriage, we both meant it and wanted it more than ever. It saddens me that I carelessly let my own life blind-side what we had. But I have no regrets.

 

Hey thanks for letting me get that out!

[mishy]

Hi

 

yeah well have you started to realise that what goes around comes around? too proud to admit you miss me and instead are clawing at my friends for company?

 

Loser!

 

I'm so glad i don't have to look at your huge nose anymore.

I'm so glad i can eat steak now.

I'm so glad i can watch trashy current affairs now.

 

How dare you not return my calls. How dare you show no common decency.

 

I'm so glad i've realised what a full on wimp you are.

 

get your hand off it

 

*click*

[Ariadne]

Closure letters are funny. They're usually self-centered and full of scorn, complete with back-handed compliments and condescending advice for the offender in question. ~westernxer

[randuff]

I miss you dearly. I wanted to respond to your message earlier so bad but I can't. I am not ready to try and be friends. I want to, but I know that deep down I still love you so unconditionally and couldn't cope with hearing about your everyday events which I am not a part of. It made me sick seeing you and Stacy converse with one another. It kinda made me feel like I was stabbed in the back.

 

The days are getting somewhat easier to handle but I still think of you daily. I miss holding you in my arms and smelling your sweet skin as I kiss your forehead.

 

I know that someday in the future I will be ok with all this but as of this moment the pain kills me. I wish somehow we could work things out but I know that it isn't me and I am helpless to this all.

 

Hopefully we CAN be friends, someday, in the future.

 

I love you more than life,

 

R

[Living_For_Me]

Dear Miss C

 

For three years you told me you loved me

 

For three years you told me i was the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with

 

For the past five months you lied and deceived me despite everything we had achieved together.

 

Here i sit five months later (foolishly) missing you, your family and everything that could've been.

 

I know deep down everything we built over the years is gone, but i still cling on to the hope that one day you'll come back.

[NorCalDave]

Alicia you frickin hollow bitch I gave everything I could to you. I gave my time, my heart, my love, my soul, and you couldn't handle it. You have such a low self esteem that you feel I am too good for you. So you blamed it on the age gap and ran away, again. You ripped my heart out for the last time.

One week you're going back to your ex and the next you're working out with some roid'ed out butthead at the gym, and completely ignoring me, like we haven't even ever met.

Who does that?

Is everything a game to you?

Why do you run when things serious?

Why are you sooo afraid of commitment?

Why are you so emotionally unavailable?

Well, it's too bad you have so much baggage and drama because I really did love you with all my heart and we had a good connection.

You have to live with the fact you walked away from a truly great guy who would have treated you like a queen.

It's completely your loss.

I do wish you well, but I really wish you would change gyms so we don't have to have any awkward encounters, cause I ain't moving.

But you know what, I am not giving you any power over me so I will not react to anything you do or say.

[Trialbyfire]

*ring, ring*

 

Hi hon,

So what's this I hear? Ex-OW blew the whistle on you at work with the non-frat rules? You're in deep doo-doo? That's pretty interesting. Good luck with your legal costs.

 

Oh, before I forget, your ex-bestfriend told me about it.

 

Arsehole...

 

*click*

[Trialbyfire]

*ring, ring*

 

So that's why you signed the papers so soon. It took writing it down for me to figure it out. DUHHHHH!!!!!

 

I can hear the legal costs go ka..ching, ka..ching. My..Oh...My.

 

So Goldenboy, King Midas, remember how you used to have a perfect life? You've certainly given yourself a much better life now, haven't you? :lmao:

 

Karma really is a b!atch...

 

*click*

[dazz187s]

I spent 5 years of my life standing by you and being there for you. always by your side when you were down and always taking care of you when you were sick. Now, you push me away for what, FOR WHAT, thats right, you had no reason, space, bull. No spine i see my love, guess women like you are good for one thing and one thing only, slut.

All i ever wanted was a reason why and not even that you could offer. sad that you will live your life as a vampire, sucking the lives of all those around you. Alone is your life and ALONE you will forever be.

[polywog]

Oh, hi R.

 

Your brother told me a few days ago that your wife that you never bothered to divorce after all these years is planning to move here in a few weeks and stay at your house, is that true? Oh, it is? Wow. She said she wants to move back to town and find a job and will just stay at the house for a little while until she finds a place? Hmm. I wonder if you've given it any thought that your house is worth a fortune and she wants a piece of it... oh, I forgot, she'd never do anything like that. Right.

 

Yes, I know that she was in rehab last year, and is sober now... you mentioned that she sounded like she has her life together now. OK. What about the kid she had with that guy right after she moved out, I heard he has custody of him since she was not a fit mother, but since she's doing so well now, perhaps her boy is coming too.

 

Just curious, I know your new gf is moving into the house in a few weeks too. Does she know about the wife moving in? (No answer).

 

Your house has started looking like a trailer park since I moved out. it's kinda cute.

 

I really do miss you.

 

Good luck.

[Teacher's Pet]

Dear B,

 

It's been 11 months since you called me to "seal" our breakup.

 

I was curled in a ball on my bed crying as you told me how awful I was. Thankfully while you were doing this, a wonderful woman was talking to me online, helping me get through the pain you caused me. I'm glad to have been able to trade almost a year of meaningless sex for a meaningful friendship. To coin a phrase you always liked to say, "Pu**y is a dime a dozen." I don't even know if yours was even worth THAT much.

 

Since I've made so many amazing friends since (actually starting ON) that day, I obviously can't be that "horrible person" you tried to convince me I am.

 

Nope, nope, nope, I'm not awful at all.

 

You, my dear, are just a c*nt.

 

You may now resume sucking the d*ck(s) you were sucking.

 

All the worst,

 

Me.

[burning 4 revenge]

Dear G***

 

I just shot a load thinking about you for the first time in months. It's not the first time in months I shot a load, just the first time in months I shot one thinking about you.

 

Best Wishes and Leprosy Kisses,

M***

[polywog]

Dear G***

 

I just shot a load thinking about you for the first time in months. It's not the first time in months I shot a load, just the first time in months I shot one thinking about you.

 

Best Wishes and Leprosy Kisses,

M***

 

Classic...just had to say...

[Living_For_Me]

Miss C

 

You said you were in a car accident

 

You said you might want to reconcile (giving me false hope) but your way of telling me is that you don't want to talk to anyone at the moment?

 

I'm sorry but enough is enough

 

There is someone deserving of what i have to offer and it certainly isn't you.

 

 

Reconciliation? Not a chance

[funkybassplayer]

If you have something nice to say to your ex say it, it doesnt mean your weak! my ex who i still love met a guy after just a week after we split up! We cant be in touch cause of him, and i miss her and the kids so much. The other day she text hope you are ok. I text back, am i ok? I miss you and the kids, i miss your face and eyes and hair everyday i was with you was electric x . I felt good to say this. maybe she wanted me to say im fine now, but why lie. She now knows how i truly feel, and i feel better knowing that. I dont really want to be mates, not yet, so im not going to lie about my feeling or write them to someone else. If she doesnt like it touugh crap, yes im hurting, and i miss them all, so why not let her know this. As long as your not nasty then what the hell! come on guys, say it to them not to a website, you may regret it later, by being proud of the fact you did no contact, but then your ex maybe never knoew how you really felt. It does not mean that you want them back or your gonna be mates, its just how you feel at the time. I never got an anwer back and diddnt ask for one or expect one, but she knows im still hurting, and she knows i still care about them. She never told me to get lost eighter!

[stace79]

Not to be rude, but I would lose a lot of respect for a guy acting the way you are.... Women want strong men...not jerks, mind you, but not whiny, crying wimps either.

[Jmina]

You left me telling me you still love me and have feelings for me and that im your soul mate, but you worry so much that its too hard and a relationship shouldnt be that hard no matter what the circumstances.......some things feel right but some things dont...what doesnt feel right? making love? like the time you got me to come over and all you wanted to do was have sex... after you broke up with me?

i really hope i can get over you, for my sake... your the one whos screwed up. not me...all i did was tell the truth and love you....why i fell for someone who doesnt know who or what they want will always confuse me.... i still believe your my soul mate though...and i forgive you for the whole thing, because i love you but more importantly for my sake.... just work yourself out okay, stop blocking things in your head and get real for ****ing once, before you break someone elses heart.

[funkybassplayer]

Not to be rude, but I would lose a lot of respect for a guy acting the way you are.... Women want strong men...not jerks, mind you, but not whiny, crying wimps either.

 

in the relationship i was in i had to show how strong i was as a person all the time, so she knows im not a wimp. To say what you trully feel to some1 that you want to say it too how is that being a jerk? Why would you lose repsect? If i said nothing then they wont know. Life aint a game, you need to say something to someone then say it. I would lose respect for someone that didnt tell me how they felt. If i never heard from my ex agian, how would that make me repect them?? It seems that there are a lot of people on this site dying to say something but wont because they don't have the guts to say what they want to say. If you say something and then leave it fine, as long as your not hassling someone. If you once loved somebody and they you, why lie? If your prtending that your ok and then enter a friendship, then your gonna get hurt.