Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[empty906]

I ended up going the other direction, actual phone conversation from a couple of months ago...

 

Hey, what’s going on?

It’s been a long time.

I’m just calling to say, Hi.

 

So, what are you doing?

The dishes, huh? Is he home?

Good. I saw you the other day.

 

Yeah, I’ve been real busy with work.

You know how it is.

You looked nice when I saw you.

 

I have been thinking about you

And you stay on my mind.

I just needed to hear your voice.

 

Guess what happened today...

Yeah, it was funny and I wanted to tell you.

I love hearing your laugh.

 

Still working on your house?

Still thinking about that business idea?

I know you would be successful if you tried.

 

So you talked with your Mom today?

I’m happy to hear she cheered you up.

I always loved cheering you up.

 

Yeah, I am heading to a meeting.

I remember those long hours when

I would drive and you would talk.

 

So the girls need you now?

Yeah, I should let you go anyways.

You are such a strong mother for them.

 

It’s been so good to talk with you.

I am glad you were home.

Yeah, I miss you, too.

 

 

 

I guess not all the calls we make to that other person end up backfiring, but they usually do!!! This one happened to reach the other person at a moment when she was missing me as well. Placing a call like this today would not be a positive move for me and the response would not be like it was then. But the thread reminded me of the call I made out of the blue and the conversation that took place. And, yes, it messed me up and screwed with my mind. I should not have made the call...

 

[FONT=&quot][/FONT]

[Ariadne]

Dear Denver guy,

 

You know I still love you and you know you love me too .

 

Even if you don't say it much and sort of keep it to yourself, we both know it.

 

I know that you are doing what you need to do, and it's a process . You have to be together with her to realize that she is not the one for you. I am.

 

But, you are very confused and I understand that.

 

And somehow I know that every day you log into LS to read my posts (the same way that you are reading this letter right now ).

 

I want you to know that I'm still waiting for you here. I have your picture in a frame on my night table, you are so beautiful, your hair, your eyes... (I can almost smell you ).

 

And I still have that DVD box that you gave me that says: To Ariadne, sweet, beautiful, and kind -Denver guy.

 

It was written with so much love that I still kiss it every night before I go to bed. A love like this is hard to find!

 

You are my soulmate, my twin soul, and even if you don't realize it this life time, maybe in the next one we'll be together. We will!

 

I hope that by the time you realize that I'm your love I'll still be able to bear your children. That makes me very sad (because I want to have twenty that look like you, just like you! ).

 

I love you, I love you, and I think I'm going to drive all the way to Denver again if you don't hurry . I want to see you so bad! (even if it's from afar, our hearts and souls will meet at that moment one more time).

 

Always yours,

 

Ariadne

[Trialbyfire]

*ring, ring*

 

"Hi Hon,"

 

"I watched a couple of clips today where people were ghost riding their whps. I think this might be a fun hobby for you to take up."

 

"Arsehole."

 

*click*

[oppath]

Hey,

 

I still feel bad about the way the breakup went down. I only wish you could empathize with me how hurtful it was for you to ask for friends with benefits 2 weeks after you broke up with me. I felt degraded and belittled, and honestly feel I had a free pass to say whatever I wanted in response, and expect an apology in return since I was the one hurt and vulnerable. It really hurt me when your response was "I was just joking" instead of "I'm sorry, I understand you were really hurt." I felt used and disrespected and those are powerful feelings on top of the hurt from a breakup. To feel used by someone who is supposed to love you is a bad place to me. I'm not saying this was your intention, I'm only describing how it made me feel.

 

I understand where I crossed lines a couple weeks later when I learned your ex proposed to you 2 weeks before the breakup. Can you empathize with me how hurtful it was to learn this? With the reasons you gave for the breakup, how could I not conclude he was the actual reason for it? I emailed some harsh, mean words when drunk. I take responsibility there. I felt betrayed -- especially considering you never told him about me and hid me from mutual friends so he wouldn't know you had moved on so soon -- and I ask that you put yourself in my position and examine how that would have made you feel within the relationship, and learning of the proposal, something so huge hitting you out of nowhere upside the head. I was still reeling from the friends with benefits request, and this was too much.

 

I acted very irrational when I threatened to tell him about me to manipulate you into telling me the truth about the breakup. It was wrong of me. I understand he was a big part of your life and your best friend and you didn't want to hurt him. Yes, he should have known about me; ultimately you weren't ready for a new relationship, I think we both realize that, but you did tell me you loved me, thought I was the guy you were going to marry...I had no problems you two being friends and understand not wanting to hurt him, but please, put yourself in my shoes and examine how all this would have made you feel. Anything said in the first 24 hours after learning such HUGE information should be considered nothing but momentary rage and forgotten. It is so difficult to act rational in that moment of hurt. I've apologized sincerely for my threat and harsh words a couple times; I was sincere, and I felt embarrassed and ashamed for acting as I did.

 

I feel we both share responsibllity for the breakup becoming bad; true, only I control how I react, but asking to be friends with benefits in response to me asking for space was something that devastated me. It really ****ed with my head. You made a mistake, and it is ok, I just wish we could acknowledge that we both made mistakes, because I made some big ones in response to the information I received.

 

We have mutual friends; perhaps we can never be friends ourselves, but despite everything that went down, I hope we can be friendly if we encounter each other. You were a positive part of my life. It was too soon for you to get into a new relationship. I regret not fostering a friendship with you instead because we had some amazing times together. I wish you the best in life, forgive you for what I feel were insulting mistakes on your part, and hope you can forgive me for my mistakes.

[Art_Critic]

I love you, I love you, and I think I'm going to drive all the way to Denver again if you don't hurry . I want to see you so bad! (even if it's from afar, our hearts and souls will meet at that moment one more time).

 

If Denver guy is reading this then he is at the courthouse getting a restraining order.. or moving to another state as we speak.. So you better hope he really isn't reading this..

 

Ariadne.. This is never going to work.. He moved on and so should you..

You have moved into an unhealthy compulsion or obsession with him..

 

I hope you really don't act on your thoughts....

[Ariadne]

Hey,

 

I hope you really don't act on your thoughts....

 

Ok Art, "this" time I was kidding with that letter.

 

But yeah.... I still haven't moved on... it's been hard, I still think about him and all that stuff.

 

Maybe if I become interested in someone else I might forget all about him, here's hoping anyway.

 

Ariadne

[Art_Critic]

Hey,

 

I hope you really don't act on your thoughts....

 

Ok Art, "this" time I was kidding with that letter.

 

But yeah.... I still haven't moved on... it's been hard, I still think about him and all that stuff.

 

Maybe if I become interested in someone else I might forget all about him, here's hoping anyway.

 

Ariadne

 

Whew !!....

 

Moving on is something we all do when the time is right..

I have been in intense relationships before that didn't require any time whatsoever to move on..

Even my marriage I was over her before the ink was dry on the divorce papers and even so I have also been in intense relationships that took me the better part of a year to move on..

 

You do whatever feels right.. ( Within the law of course )

[Ariadne]

Thanks Art,

 

Well, the fact that he was writing to me every day (and a few days before his last email I received 16 emails in one day) and being all sweet to me...

 

And then stopped from one day to the other for me to receive an email from her, telling me that I wasn't going to hear from him anymore because "she told him so"...

 

Has really really been of no help. I think that's what's made this the hardest to get over.

 

If it was because he was ditching me, sick of me, didn't like me, I think I would have moved on by now... I really have no problem doing that, and I've moved on from guys real fast before the moment they ditch me.

 

(Yeah, I guess in a way he did, but it's different)

 

Anyway, I won't bore you anymore.

 

Ariadne

[hurting_in_nw]

Hey b**ch--

I'm glad to know that each moment that passes leads you one step closer to the collapse of everything you thought was meaningful in your life. I hope you know that I am keeping logs on the amount of time you spend with our son, so that when the time comes for me to move away, the courts will have no problem seeing that I am the one who provides for him, while you are too busy with your selfish bull***t and screwing your new guy. You are pathetic.

 

I remember a few weeks ago, the first time I really blew up on you after you again denied my request to stop seeing him and try to make our marriage work. I told you that you are a failure as a wife, a failure as a mother, and a failure as a human being. I meant all of those things. You will see it one day in your own childrens' eyes, the way you have failed them just as your mother has failed you. And like your mother, you will probably just brush it aside, and pretend that everything is fine. You are exactly like her--without a shred of empathy and only concern for your own selfish, pitiful needs.

 

I still hate you. I think I always will on some level. You have taken the last 8 years of my life from me, and I won't let you waste another single moment of my time on this Earth. I hope you find lots of dirty little secrets about your new guy...for the both of you to have cheated on your spouses makes me think you are perfect for each other, and I'm sure that for whatever pleasures you are indulging yourself in now, you will experience pain tenfold for all you have done. You deserve it. You deserve pain. You deserve loneliness. You deserve the lack of self-esteem you possess. You are pathetic. You are a failure. A complete f***ing failure at life.

[whichwayisup]

Maybe if I become interested in someone else I might forget all about him, here's hoping anyway.

 

Yes, you will. But, first you have to close your heart to DG and stop fantasizing and dreaming of him...Once you do that, guys will be swarming around you!

[Ariadne]

Aww

 

Thank you!

 

Well, the problem is I'm not sure I want to let go. But I think that if I became interested in someone else I might get over. We'll see.

 

(He was so perfect that it makes it really hard though)

 

Ariadne

[whichwayisup]

But not perfect enough to stay in your life as your boyfriend forever....

 

Why do you NOT want to let go?

 

A, I am telling you now, what you feel/felt for him CAN be felt for someone else, and it will be better. Wanna know why? Because it will be a give/take thing, not one sided...Love is even MORE amazing when BOTH people feel that love and connection.

You feel it for Denver Guy, but he doesn't feel it for you...

[Ariadne]

Well,

 

Why do you NOT want to let go?

 

Because I have this silly idea that they have nothing to do. And no matter what.. I can't get rid of that. They are two different people.

 

And for all I know about soulmates, you have to share the most important things which are values, attitudes, world views and stuff like that which they don't.

 

But then again, I "must" be missing something, I don't know what.

 

It's all very weird. And the fact that she is very abusive and controlling (something he is not) makes me think that that relationship is really flaky.

 

But then, I may be wrong and they'll be together for ever and ever...

 

It's all very confusing..

 

And the fact that he met me "too late" when he was bound on a promise to her, and that I could tell the connection that he tried to deny and reject.

 

It makes it very hard...

 

I guess it'll take time, maybe a lot of time.

 

It doesn't help the fact that I'm not working. I will be soon enough, and my hope is that I might meet someone there, and I'm even thinking of putting a profile in eharmony once I get a job and that might get me into a different perspective.

 

Ariadne

[whichwayisup]

But A, after so long and he hasn't contacted you, visited you, called you AT ALL, doesn't that tell you that he's moved on without you?

 

I hope one day you figure it out and find that guy (NOT Denver Guy) you're supposed to be with.

[Ariadne]

Hi,

 

But A, after so long and he hasn't contacted you, visited you, called you AT ALL, doesn't that tell you that he's moved on without you?

 

He'd never do that while he is with her, I know him. She asked him not to because it bothered her.

 

Anwyay, I might meet someone else some day, who knows, or I'll just stay single forever (that's most likely what's going to happen or be with some fwb that I don't even love).

 

Ariadne

[Trialbyfire]

You will meet someone new if you let go of this one. When you don't let go, you are technically emotionally unavailable to anyone else. Let go, if for nothing else, your own well-being.

[Trialbyfire]

*knock, knock*

 

"Hi Hon,"

 

"See that pile of stuff sitting in the mud on the front lawn of your condo complex? See that five ton pickup truck and those two big guys? Yup, I brought it with a little help from my friends. Better go get it before someone else takes it, especially the electronics sitting at the bottom of the pile."

 

"Arsehole."

 

*slams door*

[Ariadne]

Hi,

 

You will meet someone new if you let go of this one. When you don't let go, you are technically emotionally unavailable to anyone else. Let go, if for nothing else, your own well-being.

 

Thanks.

 

I know, I know...

 

I'm still open to meet new people though, I believe that if I were to find true love somewhere it'd manifest itself regardless of my emotional state at the moment.

 

I doubt that's ever going to happen though, with my luck and all, but maybe,

 

Ariadne

[polywog]

Hi,

 

You will meet someone new if you let go of this one. When you don't let go, you are technically emotionally unavailable to anyone else. Let go, if for nothing else, your own well-being.

 

Thanks.

 

I know, I know...

 

I'm still open to meet new people though, I believe that if I were to find true love somewhere it'd manifest itself regardless of my emotional state at the moment.

 

I doubt that's ever going to happen though, with my luck and all, but maybe,

 

Ariadne

 

Ariadne, I havn't read your thread(s) about Denver Guy, but I get the gist of it from your posts here.

 

It sounds like you think you need a relationship to be happy. I guarantee that you won't have a happy relationship until 1) you let go as said above, and 2) you learn to be happy by and with yourself.

 

Then, and only then, will you have something to bring to a relationship and you will attract a healthy love that way. I speak from experience.

[SweetOlive]

First I want to apologize for writing so much on a thread that doesn't belong to me...

Keeping nc is so hard for me and everyone else that this is a good thread to have. Thx polywog...

 

Ex sent me a txt this morning saying:

I miss you so much.. I hate not being able to talk to you or text message you.. It hurts so much.. I love u baby.. I would do anything to make u trust me again.

 

And I just want to say this...

**txt msg**

I told you to stop contacting me... are you that stupid you don't understand what I've told you. I hate you for everything you put me through. So I figure now that 3 girls turn you down you want to crawl your a** back to me. I don't think so... I hope this hurts you more than anything else in life has. And the day ill start seeing other people ill make sure it will be known to you. its funny how much of a pathetic jerk you are. The anger is passing I'm starting to feel sorry for you. You are how old? And still live at home and what you can't get into a good school...lol... bye honey.

[hurting_in_nw]

First I want to apologize for writing so much on a thread that doesn't belong to me...

Keeping nc is so hard for me and everyone else that this is a good thread to have. Thx polywog...

 

Ex sent me a txt this morning saying:

I miss you so much.. I hate not being able to talk to you or text message you.. It hurts so much.. I love u baby.. I would do anything to make u trust me again.

 

And I just want to say this...

**txt msg**

I told you to stop contacting me... are you that stupid you don't understand what I've told you. I hate you for everything you put me through. So I figure now that 3 girls turn you down you want to crawl your a** back to me. I don't think so... I hope this hurts you more than anything else in life has. And the day ill start seeing other people ill make sure it will be known to you. its funny how much of a pathetic jerk you are. The anger is passing I'm starting to feel sorry for you. You are how old? And still live at home and what you can't get into a good school...lol... bye honey.

 

That's great. I almost think that's worth sending...even though I know you shouldn't. I hope one day I get to ignore such a message.

[Ariadne]

Hi,

 

It sounds like you think you need a relationship to be happy. I guarantee that you won't have a happy relationship until 1) you let go as said above, and 2) you learn to be happy by and with yourself.

 

I'm pretty happy actually. I may get into a sad mood at times but something has to trigger it, like a rainy day, finding things he gave me, some anniversary, stuff like that. But other than that I go to the gym to some high energy classes, I have friends, go for walks, I do a whole bunch of fun stuff.

 

Then, and only then, will you have something to bring to a relationship and you will attract a healthy love that way. I speak from experience.

 

To tell you the truth I'm not even looking for or wanting a relationship. I'm more like idling at this point. But if I get a job I might try and start dating again to see what happens. Maybe a change will do me good, you never know.

 

Sorry polywog to hear about that girl moving in your house and you having to leave and all that junk. I read your thread. Hope you win the lotto for the houses and find a really nice comfy place for you and your pets.

 

I know, it's never easy, is it?

 

(Hey, at least you found that hunk, hope things are going smoother there)

 

Ariadne

[Shadowdog36]

K-

 

For the longest time after you stopped talking to me, I wanted to hate you. I was lost and confused and was looking for something to hold onto that would allow all of this to make sense to me. I wish I had seen the messages that you were sending me the whole time ("You're so good it scares me.") and really understood what they meant to you. I read them as your little way of flirting with me, never once considering that you really weren't ready to commit any of yourself to me, even though it felt so right...which is why you were scared. I wish I had been able to keep my eyes open to both sides of this, instead of worrying about what I wanted out of all of this.

 

That being said, nothing changes about me, or you. I'm still the same man that you couldn't stop kissing that Friday night, and the same man that you trusted completely on our second date. I'm the same man that you talked to almost every day for two weeks, and felt so comfortable with, it's like we'd been together for years instead of weeks. But mostly, I'm an improved version of myself, and I'm the man that fulfilled all of your expectations about what a man should be. I was ready to give you the world, if you asked me for it, the life that you've always envisioned for yourself, and in time, the fulfillment of all of your dreams. Deep inside, you know this is true.

 

I've always said that nothing is impossible, and that some day, things may change between us. But that has to come from you, as I will not be talking to you again. I've made it clear how I felt, and I've given you the power in this to decide what you wanted. And after 6 months, I've decided that I'm going to start taking some back. It would be so poetic if I could say that I'll always be here for you, but the reality is that I've already started to drift away from you and that feeling that I had with you, however strong it was.

 

The changes that I've made in my life, for myself, have given me a new confidence in myself that I haven't felt in years. And I'm using that new-found ego to start going after things I was afraid to go after before, because I thought they were 'out of my league'. Recently, I've contacted a girl that I thought was adorable for the past 2 years, but in a relationship, and way too hot for me. We'll be going out for the 3rd time this week, and I don't know if she'll be staying at my house again, or not. I say this, not to gloat or boast, but because I want you to understand the reality of the situation, the reality that you've created for yourself. I will never be that man to you again. Understand this, please, and remember that you had the chance to make all of your dreams come true. I am one in a million, different from all the others, so good you should be scared, and everything you could wish for. Ever think that's why you were scared? Not because something was wrong, but for the first time in your life, nothing was.

 

I hope you find what you're looking for.

 

D-

[ruby_gloom]

Dear Denver guy,

 

You know I still love you and you know you love me too .

 

Even if you don't say it much and sort of keep it to yourself, we both know it.

 

I know that you are doing what you need to do, and it's a process . You have to be together with her to realize that she is not the one for you. I am.

 

But, you are very confused and I understand that.

 

And somehow I know that every day you log into LS to read my posts (the same way that you are reading this letter right now ).

 

I want you to know that I'm still waiting for you here. I have your picture in a frame on my night table, you are so beautiful, your hair, your eyes... (I can almost smell you ).

 

And I still have that DVD box that you gave me that says: To Ariadne, sweet, beautiful, and kind -Denver guy.

 

It was written with so much love that I still kiss it every night before I go to bed. A love like this is hard to find!

 

You are my soulmate, my twin soul, and even if you don't realize it this life time, maybe in the next one we'll be together. We will!

 

I hope that by the time you realize that I'm your love I'll still be able to bear your children. That makes me very sad (because I want to have twenty that look like you, just like you! ).

 

I love you, I love you, and I think I'm going to drive all the way to Denver again if you don't hurry . I want to see you so bad! (even if it's from afar, our hearts and souls will meet at that moment one more time).

 

Always yours,

 

Ariadne

 

Oh, Ariadne, I love your letter! Can I use it? It's better than anything I could ever write. I especially loved the bolded part. Aww. :love:

 

 

A, I am telling you now, what you feel/felt for him CAN be felt for someone else, and it will be better.

 

I don't think this is true for everybody. I know it's not true for me. It may be different, but it won't be better. No way.

 

You will meet someone new if you let go of this one.

 

And I don't think this is true for everyone, either.

 

2) you learn to be happy by and with yourself.

 

Oh, and I really disagree with this. This 'rule' annoys me just like all the other 'empower thyself!' rules and mantras for dealing with a break-up. Whatever.

 

There's a song that says something like, " . . . and I am beginning to suspect that real love is only in the first; and I am beginning to believe that all of the rest are only to help forget . . ."

 

:(

[pelagicsands]

I don't think this is true

And I don't think this is true

Oh, and I really disagree with this.

Poor Ruby. I think you need your anal sphincters loosened. Yes - both of them. You know where I am, if you need me.