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Losing interest or is she just comfortable with me? Bad gut feeling!


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Old 2nd January 2018, 10:01 PM   #46
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Originally Posted by CautiouslyOptimistic View Post
Can't see the link, but my opinion stands that I think it's cute and doesn't scream, "WE ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP NOW!"
https://i.gyazo.com/44a88154158f4d79...22f036bb96.png

Yeah, I mean it's her birthday and she was willing to spend Saturday night with me leading into Sunday (her birthday).

She suggested Saturday, not me. She also suggested 9pm for the show, instead of the other option of 7pm. She was quite insistant on 9pm, so maybe wanted to see the night through with me for her birthday.

I'm sure a keyring wouldn't ruin it. I gave one to my ex on date 2/3 and she loved it (related to what she loved) and we saw each other for three months until it ended.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 10:02 PM   #47
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Originally Posted by Assassino View Post
I was very confident last week about the idea of giving her this keyring, but now I'm a little 50/50 considering that I feel something has changed, whether it's something in her life or she's losing interest.

Maybe I could just buy it and keep it handy, so if she gives me good indicators of interest which make me feel confident then I will. If not, then I wouldn't mind keeping it myself.. So not a waste of money.

We've met three times so far. This Saturday will be our 4th date, whether that changes anything.

I'll have a think about it. I'll buy it and keep it on my keyring for now. Best I wait until Saturday to judge it.
You can also keep the receipt and return it if you aren't feelin' it.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 10:42 PM   #48
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Originally Posted by Assassino View Post
https://i.gyazo.com/44a88154158f4d79...22f036bb96.png

Yeah, I mean it's her birthday and she was willing to spend Saturday night with me leading into Sunday (her birthday).

She suggested Saturday, not me. She also suggested 9pm for the show, instead of the other option of 7pm. She was quite insistant on 9pm, so maybe wanted to see the night through with me for her birthday.

I'm sure a keyring wouldn't ruin it. I gave one to my ex on date 2/3 and she loved it (related to what she loved) and we saw each other for three months until it ended.

Saturdays are prime date nights. She insisted? Good sign.

9pm = sexier than 7pm. Good sign.

Getting hair done. Good sign.

Sharing news of mundane curses like a cold sore. Good sign. Next it'll be periods.

She's interested!

Unless that keyring costs more than 20% of the ticket for the show, give it to her!
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Old 2nd January 2018, 11:03 PM   #49
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I mean it's only been ONE day of no contact from each other, I shouldn't be concerned. I'm just concerned at the fact that if she doesn't hear from me all day, she always reached out, yet today she hadn't.

Her texts might not be essay like now, but they do seem to be "short and sweet". She uses the red cheek smiley face a lot and still asks me questions.. Even when I said I'd be paying for both of our tickets for this Saturday for her birthday, I was testing her reaction to see how keen she was to "go halves", but she was very accepting and said "Thank you very much ". Past experiences with my ex and other dates have told me a girl will be VERY adamant in splitting the cost if they're not interested romantically.

Here was the exact part of that conversation: https://imgur.com/a/fGS3G
not all women are the same as your exes or dates just like not all men are the same.... some women prefer to pay half when dating and can be adamant about that in fact i am one of the adamant ones and it doesnt mean i am not interested its how i show interest i want to pay for that person ...she wasnt adamant with you ...she offered then you declined the money and she said how sweet of you...considering it was a birthday thing or being expressly tol di want to pay for it...i would do the same....but pay for treats on the night.....its my investment into the date without it being physical payment....sounds unreal that guys might expect sex or a grope after paying for a meal or a movie i have found it to happen though BUT i dont feel all men who want to pay are this way.....and because i want to pay doesnt make me uninterested ...no rmake men who pay gropers....or mullet as i like to call gropers....


she sounds interested in you her replies may be shorter....she may be busy tired who knows...but to me....she is interested so chillax ...its ok...and dont judge her on your exes and previous experience and all will be peachy .she is unique to her and how she is...just as you are not her exes or previous relationships...i wish you well.......deb
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Old 3rd January 2018, 9:09 PM   #50
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I would say the change in texting is probably that she is feeling a little vulnerable. She asked you to spend Saturday night with her before her birthday and to stay over, and is probably just hoping you like her as much as she does and is stepping back a little as she has already put quite a lot out there.

Also hair being done... Yeah that's for you, to look great on your date on her birthday. (Day before but you know what I mean).

I'm sure the cold sore isn't making her feel to sexy either. If you haven't already mentioned it when it came up at some point before or during your date if it comes up again mention that you've had cold sores before. It'll make her feel less gross.

I think the keyring is sweet. It's not too much but cute and something she will like. I say take it and if it's going well give it to her before you go home with her.

Don't worry, have fun!
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Old 3rd January 2018, 9:41 PM   #51
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I would say the change in texting is probably that she is feeling a little vulnerable. She asked you to spend Saturday night with her before her birthday and to stay over, and is probably just hoping you like her as much as she does and is stepping back a little as she has already put quite a lot out there.

Also hair being done... Yeah that's for you, to look great on your date on her birthday. (Day before but you know what I mean).

I'm sure the cold sore isn't making her feel to sexy either. If you haven't already mentioned it when it came up at some point before or during your date if it comes up again mention that you've had cold sores before. It'll make her feel less gross.

I think the keyring is sweet. It's not too much but cute and something she will like. I say take it and if it's going well give it to her before you go home with her.

Don't worry, have fun!
I think you were right, kind of had a feeling it could've been the staying over part. She initiated contact this afternoon and her texts were much better, more emoji's lengthier although mixed but positive. Ended the last text saying goodnight but it was late and I think she fell asleep as usual.

We made jokes about the cold sore and I told her not to worry, I'll even draw one on myself it it helps and she laughed at that.

She jokingly talked about her walk (she tends to accidentally walk into people when walking side by side) so I said "well if that's your walk when you're sober, you'll be falling into my arms by the end of the night and I'll be singing happy birthday to you loudly.. and yeah I will be embarrassing you with it ".

Anyway I'll just see how it goes, if it doesn't work out then it wasn't meant to be
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Old 3rd January 2018, 10:17 PM   #52
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I think you were right, kind of had a feeling it could've been the staying over part. She initiated contact this afternoon and her texts were much better, more emoji's lengthier although mixed but positive. Ended the last text saying goodnight but it was late and I think she fell asleep as usual.

We made jokes about the cold sore and I told her not to worry, I'll even draw one on myself it it helps and she laughed at that.

She jokingly talked about her walk (she tends to accidentally walk into people when walking side by side) so I said "well if that's your walk when you're sober, you'll be falling into my arms by the end of the night and I'll be singing happy birthday to you loudly.. and yeah I will be embarrassing you with it ".

Anyway I'll just see how it goes, if it doesn't work out then it wasn't meant to be
You two sound cute. I think you'll have fun .
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Old 5th January 2018, 11:32 AM   #53
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I noticed recently she unhid her dating profile and changed a line in her profile. I got a little curious again, but I guess because we’re not exclusive we’re entitled to look. I do kind of feel like she’s only dating me until something better comes along, then again that’s what dating is about. I’ll be taking it as I go and just have fun, but probably date someone else just incase.

We had an interaction last night and she seemed keen, fast at replying and so on. Was wondering why I was worrying.

I do feel like she was a little blunt at the end though, but I was ending the conversation. Here it is, what do you think? https://imgur.com/a/S62nu
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Old 5th January 2018, 11:35 AM   #54
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Huh? She was being courteous and letting you get to bed. What exactly would you have preferred as a response? You're way way over-analyzing her texts.
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Old 5th January 2018, 11:41 AM   #55
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Huh? She was being courteous and letting you get to bed. What exactly would you have preferred as a response? You're way way over-analyzing her texts.
I guess it was the use of full stops, can usually change the tone over text. Never mind then haha
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Old 5th January 2018, 12:15 PM   #56
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Originally Posted by Assassino View Post
I noticed recently she unhid her dating profile and changed a line in her profile. I got a little curious again, but I guess because we’re not exclusive we’re entitled to look. I do kind of feel like she’s only dating me until something better comes along, then again that’s what dating is about. I’ll be taking it as I go and just have fun, but probably date someone else just incase.

We had an interaction last night and she seemed keen, fast at replying and so on. Was wondering why I was worrying.

I do feel like she was a little blunt at the end though, but I was ending the conversation. Here it is, what do you think? https://imgur.com/a/S62nu
Dude, she's into you (as of now at least), lol. I'm usually very good at reading into texts, and nothing I've read suggests that her interest level has waned. She was being polite and letting you go to sleep.
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Old 5th January 2018, 1:19 PM   #57
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Dude, she's into you (as of now at least), lol. I'm usually very good at reading into texts, and nothing I've read suggests that her interest level has waned. She was being polite and letting you go to sleep.
Wish I could shake this feeling of abandonment, insecurity, etc though. I've had so many failed dates, relationships that it's made me like that.

I noticed she unhid her dating account a couple of days ago when I got curious, changed a line of her profile too. Best not to stalk lol, but I kind of get the sense that "i'll do" until she finds someone with a car or better job, or better in general. I guess it felt like the three dates we've been on might not have been good enough for her so she's looking for something better, etc. Probably not the case, but that's how I feel.

Suppose it helped that my previous two GFs stopped using online dating altogether when they got to know me, so I've always been used to someone dedicating their time dating me and vice versa, rather than dating others at the same time. I don't know she's dating others, but online activity and unhiding her profile probably suggests it so maybe I'm best dating around too.

It's silly I know, but I see reasoning in it by knowing we're not exclusive so we both can see and do whatever, that if she does decide to make things exclusive I should see it as a HUGE compliment that she possibly ditched other guys for me and if she ditches things with me, well, what's the point going after someone who doesn't feel the same. I try to understand it that way so it doesn't zap the fun when I'm on a date with her. I try my best to keep a care free attitude, at least in person.

Last edited by Assassino; 5th January 2018 at 1:21 PM..
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Old 7th January 2018, 8:15 PM   #58
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Thought I'd post an update of the date! (Long post)

She texted me saying she might be late and apologised so I decided to get a taxi when she was nearly there. She got there 10 minutes before me but I felt a little guilty as she was sat there in a dress and it was freezing. Would've got there sooner, but had to walk a little bit as I got out of the taxi too early. I kept her updated though and apologised there and then.

She didn't seem to have a cold sore unless she covered it up really well, although afaik she mentioned one was developing so it wasn't a fully developed one.

We went to the restaurant and got a seat downstairs where they had a Greek man playing and singing, waitors dancing, etc. We struggled to hear each other at times and she was quite distracted by the ambience in the room, but she did pay attention to me and laughed. One downside I noticed was that her bag was perched open on the chair next to her and at one point she looked in there and it was obvious she was glancing at her phone. That only happened once though.

So we talked, teased, etc but she mentioned that any following dates would have to be a "during the week" date and not a weekend one for the next few weeks due to other arrangements and being busy. I told her that weekdays with my job work better than weekends anyway. Most of the time she had a neutral look whilst looking around, sometimes I wondered whether she wanted to be there at times but I teased her about the lack of smile and she said "I did smile!" then tried to smile and it came out cheesy, then she burst out into laughter.

We left and walked over to the comedy club. I reached for her hand and she was receptive. Our conversation flowed more due to the lack of noise.

When we got to the comedy club, we were in line. There was a couple in front of us all over each other, but I ended up guiding her with my arm around her waist to me for a bit. When I let go, she moved away a little to read something but kept a little bit of space. I didn't think anything of it and we proceeded to the bar to get drinks. As I was leaning on the bar, she held me by the arm for a couple of seconds then let go and made a joke to me. That seemed positive.

When we were sat down in the theatre, her phone pinged and she pulled out to check it. Saw she had a text and she looked at the notification for a few seconds then put it away without reading it. I thought maybe it was a friend or another guy, who cares as she's sat here with me anyway. She asked how I was getting back home tonight, I told her I could get a bus or taxi. I was a bit concerned that she had offered to let me stay over originally, now that plan had totally disappeared.

At the interval, I asked if she wanted another drink but she started to say she was feeling odd, like she was coming down with something and wasn't feeling right? I made sure she was feeling better, but thought it was odd. She was laughing out loud throughout the show though. I put my arm around her at one point and she leaned into me and we cuddled.

When the show ended, she asked if we could wait for everyone to leave as they'd be rushing for the toilets, etc. She pulled out her phone again but she noticed it had gone midnight and she went "Oh! Look what time it is!".

I said to her "You know what I'm going to do now..." and I started singing happy birthday in a quiet voice to her. She went along with it with a big smile and jokingly dancing along.

We left the comedy club and I held her hand. She said she felt like some water because she wasn't feeling right. Unfortunately all shops were closed near us. She mentioned about going to the tram stop to get a tram home, but she then pulled out her phone and said she's going to text her friend to see if she can be picked up. She messaged on whatsapp then put her phone away. Then she mentioned about getting a taxi all of a sudden and wanted to find a cash machine. We did and I walked her to a taxi. She wasn't in a rush, we took our time with all that.

During the course of this walk, I removed that keyring from my set of keys and gave it her. She seemed smitten by it and lost for words saying things like "Ohhhh! You're so sweet. That's a really sweet thing, thank you". I could tell she was delighted by it with her smile. It felt like nobody had done such a thing before, that feeling you get when you receive something with some thought into it.

Outside the taxi I jokingly said I wanted to kiss her and I didn't mind (had cold sore before). She was like "are you sure? I don't want to be that girl from POF that was responsible for giving you a cold sore and I'm feeling ill too, don't want to make you ill too" so she gave me a quick peck, we pulled away then another quick peck.

I walked away and she shouted "Text me when you're back home safely?" and I said I will.

She texted me when she got back home with this: https://i.imgur.com/aBrDytk.jpg

For the whole of today, none of us have reached out but thought it's best to have that space of no contact. If I don't hear from her by tomorrow evening I'll reach out to her and try to arrange another date.

Do you think it went well? Some things seemed odd, but guess I won't get my answer until I ask her out again.

Last edited by Assassino; 7th January 2018 at 8:22 PM..
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Old 7th January 2018, 8:26 PM   #59
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It sounds like she's simply not feeling well. I just came off of a week with the stomach bug, respiratory stuff is going around as well. It's bad this year.

Have you texted her today to see how she's doing? Just a 'hope you feel better, is there anything I can do?' text?
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Old 7th January 2018, 8:28 PM   #60
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I think you should have called her an Uber or taxi as soon as she said she wasn't feeling well instead of her having to first decide on the tram, then a friend, then a taxi all on her own. Is there a reason you didn't do this? I'm not entirely sure I believe she didn't feel well. She could have been sensing you were still hoping to be invited back to her place and she had changed her mind about that so being sick was a good excuse....

Other than that and telling her to smile (which women all hate even though she eventually laughed), I would say it went as well as can be expected if she's coming down with something. Her goodnight text is promising and I'm glad you decided to give her the key chain!
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