Prenup! At what point do you reveal prenuptial interest?
Going to keep this post short.. then elaborate later.
Started out broke. Got married. Got "rich." Got divorced. Her sorry cheating a$$ is now walking around with all my money. Got "poor" from the divorce. Picked myself up. Now that I'm single, got "rich" again. Now dating. At what point is best to discuss a prenup with a woman? For you women who answer "never" - I would need you to elaborate as to why. I'm not considering whether or not to do it because I have an attorney doing up one now. I would just like to hear opinions as to what you think about it (both guys and girls). Your approximate age would be a HUGE help as well.
Thank you. --Trust.
Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 28th June 2008 at 1:43 PM.
Reason: Member request
I am getting married in 24 days and yes I did sign a prenup. HE is older and his father died young and has an inheriatance. He was concerned about that. Plus we already co own a house and it clearly spells out how the house is divided if there was a divorce.
I would discuss it at the point when you are discussing marriage.
Agreed. (I'm 28, btw). It would be rather odd to be on a 4th or 5th date with some guy who randomly says, "if we ever got married I would want a pre-nup." I would be like, "uh...ok. Are you asking me to marry you?"
I don't have any problems with pre-nups. If you have a lot of assets, you're just covering your ass.
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I am getting married in 24 days and yes I did sign a prenup. HE is older and his father died young and has an inheriatance. He was concerned about that. Plus we already co own a house and it clearly spells out how the house is divided if there was a divorce.
Wow. What a coincidence. Perfect. Glad to have the privilege of your attention on the matter.
Can you tell me how he approached it with you? And then what was your thought process? How did you feel? Were you bothered by it? Did he have to do a lot of convincing? Was he previously divorced? Were you previously divorced? The previously married status usually has some bearing.
If he told you about it only at the point of discussing marriage (which I assume was waaaaay down the road) then wasn't it a big shock since it came out of nowhere? He had never mentioned it before?
We are both children of divorce. His dad's divorce was pretty bad. His mom got a good settlement. But the kicker was after the dad got remarried and the new wife got almost everything after he died even part of the kids inhertance. So what he has now is a fraction of what he should have.
He never really brought it up so the speak. We talk about a lot and have known each other for a long time so about three years or so into the relationship we started talking about marriage as an abstract. And I already knew about his dad problems so I think I asked and he said yes he would like a pre nup if we ever got married.
No I wasn't upset by it at all but I knew that is what he would want before we even offically discussed it so it wasn't a surprise or anything. As for the house that was layed out before we bought it.
Maybe we are weird because we've been together 7 years in OCt. I personally feel it is just sensible to have one.
not everyone agrees with me. For instance I can't tell my parents.
I don't have any problems with pre-nups. If you have a lot of assets, you're just covering your ass.
Same here. I am 30 and am getting married at the end of the year. We don't have one because our assets are already combined (and amount to bugger all really).
I assume things will get split 50:50 in the event of a split. Hopefully we don't have to have that conversation, but seeing as I have good earning power I would like to think that I wouldn't be a complete thieving b*tch about it.
Any inheritance I am due is already protected by a clause my dad had written into his will that no spouse/ partner of his children has any claim on his land/money in the event of one if his children dying. That reminds me I need to check that with him. Its mainly to protect my brother as his partner has four daughters who are the spawn of satan and my dad has locked his will in so none of them can try to get their mitts on anything.
Pre-nups are a bit of a romance killer, but I can appreciate the once bitten twice shy situation you are in, and if I was in a R with someone like you, I wouldn't hold that against you.
I would feel a bit odd if you brought it up while we were only dating though.
Agreed. (I'm 28, btw). It would be rather odd to be on a 4th or 5th date with some guy who randomly says, "if we ever got married I would want a pre-nup." I would be like, "uh...ok. Are you asking me to marry you?"
I don't have any problems with pre-nups. If you have a lot of assets, you're just covering your ass.
You have no idea how valuable this information is to me. Especially since you seem to be adults with very interesting views. Thank you for that.
As for the 4th or 5th date thing.... That approach is not one I would take. I would never make the association with *her*. I'm more creative than that. I would say something like, "While I was helping raise money for underprivileged children while on the internet the other day, I happened upon a forum where they were discussing some hot topics. This one guy had an inheritance and was dating this much younger girl. He thought it appropriate that he ask her for a prenup and she agreed. So...what do you think about all that craziness?"
With the above approach, it should be safe to say that I'm not proposing to her. See what I mean?
That kind of approach could work, but proceed with caution, lots of women would see through that and see it as some kind of "test", and may not answer 100% honestly.
We are both children of divorce. His dad's divorce was pretty bad. His mom got a good settlement. But the kicker was after the dad got remarried and the new wife got almost everything after he died even part of the kids inhertance. So what he has now is a fraction of what he should have.
He never really brought it up so the speak. We talk about a lot and have known each other for a long time so about three years or so into the relationship we started talking about marriage as an abstract. And I already knew about his dad problems so I think I asked and he said yes he would like a pre nup if we ever got married.
No I wasn't upset by it at all but I knew that is what he would want before we even offically discussed it so it wasn't a surprise or anything. As for the house that was layed out before we bought it.
Maybe we are weird because we've been together 7 years in OCt. I personally feel it is just sensible to have one.
not everyone agrees with me. For instance I can't tell my parents.
Wow. Lots of answers. Just what I needed! Thanks.
Neither of you are divorced.. I would not have guessed that because it's usually the ones who have been bitten who are in favor of it. Ok.
Both childern of divorce. Ok. That was my next guess. Either you've been burned or someone close has been burned. Now it's making sense. Ah! Hate to hear about the double whammy on the dad! See that's just what I'm trying to prevent. I don't want to be that guy. And I especially don't want my future kids getting screwed by it.
Soooo...sounds like what convinced you was 1. he's a heck of a guy , and 2. you are pretty understanding of where he's coming from because of the "dad burn"??? Ok. This is great useful information. Keep it coming.
LOL!!! Haven't told the parents! That was my next question. Oh, man. Girl, how are you going to do that? See.. that's what I would like to know too....because after I take care of "future" girls objections...next are the parents. The toughest critics!!!
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