LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Transitioning > Friends and Lovers

Absolutely unconditionally bat sh*t crazy head over heels madly in love with him


Friends and Lovers Progressing into "Friends with benefits" and beyond: When platonic relationships become more intimate.

Like Tree957Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10th March 2019, 1:11 PM   #826
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 3,089
Quote:
Originally Posted by Happy Lemming View Post
Does the company you work for have any other locations or offices?? Can they transfer you to another location/area??

Being nomadic most of my life, moving always seemed to make me feel better. New location, fresh slate, left my problems behind...

I also enjoyed the task of moving, throwing things away, downsizing for the move, boxing things up, etc.

It is really fun exploring a new city/town. New people, new experiences, new everything!
I was going to suggest this, again.

Just curious: Was your therapist from your small town? If yes, I can see why she would think you should go back to your church, as that seems to be how life is in your small religious tight community.
JuneL is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th March 2019, 4:04 PM   #827
Established Member
 
Happy Lemming's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Sunny Southwest
Posts: 2,402
Quote:
Originally Posted by JuneL View Post
I was going to suggest this, again.
Yes, great minds think alike!!
__________________
All of my posts are my opinion based on my own experiences. Feel Free to disagree with me, this rodent has thick skin.
Happy Lemming is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th March 2019, 4:10 PM   #828
Established Member
 
preraph's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 24,933
Just google today and get in therapy again by the end of the week. Let the new therapist transfer your records from the old one. Don't put it off. You're backsliding already.
__________________
"I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not better for it." -- Abraham Lincoln
"The greatness of a nation & its moral progress can be judged by the way in its animals are treated." -Gandhi
preraph is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th March 2019, 7:08 PM   #829
Established Member
 
crispytoast's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2019
Posts: 186
I've got to say that new therapist and perhaps moving as well sound like excellent plans. Stop hanging out with this guy or going where he goes (like if you're going to go to church, find a different one). And honestly, it might be a good idea to make a new thread that's based around your improvement or desire for improvement than to keep returning to this thread that reminds you how "absolutely unconditionally bat sh*t crazy head over heels madly in love" you are with this guy. It seems like it's become similar to a mantra in your life. As long as you keep repeating the same thoughts, you will be stuck in the same cycle.

Also, on the Pete thing, or even with casual sex outside of marriage, it's not beneficial to tell yourself that it's wrong or you are a bad person. You arent a bad person, and premarital sex is not wrong. Remember, we all fall short of the glory of God. It's part of the human experience. If you live with a good heart and try to have a positive impact on the world around you, you are doing God's work already. Humans have been having sex since well before there was marriage or Christianity, so don't beat yourself up about it.
__________________
Practicing nonmonogamist and golden toast with a smooth dash of butter. Delicious, mouth watering goodness. A true delicacy. Pairs nicely with wine and exotic cousine. 🥂
crispytoast is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th March 2019, 11:01 AM   #830
Established Member
 
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 214
Hey guys,

Hope youíre all enjoying spring!

Figured Iíd check in with all you loveshackers.

Iím doing better for sure. I still really miss him a lot, but I havenít broken down and cried in weeks. I think that does show some sign of progress, no?

I havenít seen him in person or social media at all. I stopped seeing all therapists. I briefly saw a new one but realized it wasnít for me. I need to heal myself, myself! Yes, talking feels good, but honestly, might have been making me feel worse. I think itís been better since I have stopped talking so much about him.

I donít know, maybe Iím an odd ball lol but Iím doing ok on my own. Iíve redecorated my apartment, and strangely, that has helped me A LOT! Not sure if it was a change of atmosphere, or just being distracted but itís helped me so much.

Iím better for now. Hoping for the best, hoping not to have another meltdown.
Madd_hatter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th March 2019, 11:14 AM   #831
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 3,089
Great to hear about your progress. I think you can keep yourself busy with more such projects ó they have the same positive effects as meditation.
JuneL is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th March 2019, 5:52 PM   #832
Established Member
 
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 214
As good as it is talking about it and letting it out, I feel like talking about him over and over was in the end making me think of him more and more. There are still times where heíll randomly pop up in my head, but definitely not as much as when I keep talking about it/him all the time.
Madd_hatter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th March 2019, 5:58 PM   #833
Established Member
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 17,612
Madd I couldn't agree with you more. Constantly talking about him will keep you thinking about him, stuck and unable to move forward. The minute you decide to stop talking about them it's incredible how fast you start to move forward. Good for you.
stillafool is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27th March 2019, 6:16 PM   #834
Established Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 1,329
Quote:
Originally Posted by Madd_hatter View Post
As good as it is talking about it and letting it out, I feel like talking about him over and over was in the end making me think of him more and more. There are still times where heíll randomly pop up in my head, but definitely not as much as when I keep talking about it/him all the time.
I can always tell when someone is getting better on here when they start to post less. It's a good thing. Keep doing what you're doing. It's working.

- Beach
__________________
People are meant to be loved. Things are meant to be used. The problem is we use people and love things..
Beachead is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2nd April 2019, 10:52 AM   #835
Established Member
 
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 214
Last night, minding my own business, scrolling through my Instagram feed, not expecting to see him because Iíve unfollowed him everywhere, thereís this video of him, in selfie form, telling some dumb funny story, that was reposted by a friend of ours. My head said keep scrolling but my eyes were glued to the screen. I mustíve watched it 30 times...maybe more. Iíve never wanted to reach into the screen and touch something so badly, ever. He was laughing and I almost forgot how much I love his laugh and smile. He looked good. He looked happy. It just reminded me of how I am not so happy.
Madd_hatter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2nd April 2019, 11:10 AM   #836
Established Member
 
Happy Lemming's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Sunny Southwest
Posts: 2,402
Quote:
Originally Posted by Madd_hatter View Post
...I mustíve watched it 30 times...maybe more. ...It just reminded me of how I am not so happy.
Why would you watch it... You already knew that it was going to make you unhappy.

It's like when I watch my morning news, (all I really want is the weather and any local events, etc.), but they will always have some political story that will anger me and put me in a bad mood for the day, so I mute everything except those items I need.

You didn't need to watch it... you didn't need to be on this "mutual friend's" instagram, as you knew there was a chance he'd be in that portal/feed. People post pictures and video(s) of their friends, and he is a friend of this person.

Look at the time and money you have dumped into therapy to try to get over him and you just threw that all out the window by watching this video 30+ times.
Happy Lemming is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2nd April 2019, 11:18 AM   #837
Established Member
 
preraph's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 24,933
Well, what a self-defeating thing to do. You chose misery, once again. You have no one to blame but yourself.
preraph is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2nd April 2019, 12:11 PM   #838
Established Member
 
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 4,089
Quote:
Originally Posted by Madd_hatter View Post
As good as it is talking about it and letting it out, I feel like talking about him over and over was in the end making me think of him more and more. There are still times where heíll randomly pop up in my head, but definitely not as much as when I keep talking about it/him all the time.
I blame your therapist for allowing you to make your sessions all about him. Many years ago I went to therapy after a particularly painful breakup. Of course all I wanted to talk about was the guy. How much I loved him, how hard it was to get over him, how much he hurt me, how could he do that? What was he thinking? My thoughts of him were obsessive. My therapist simply would not allow me to make our meetings about him. She would let me talk about him only a little bit and then turn the focus back to me. If I asked her to give me her opinion about him she would refuse to play along, saying since she doesn't know him and has never talked to him anything she would say would just be speculation and not helpful.

At first it kind of made me mad that she wouldn't discuss the one thing I wanted discuss which was him. But she was smarter than me in this area and she knew my pain and inability to move on from this failed relationship had very little to do with him specifically. It was all me. All the hurt and rejection I was feeling was inside of me, being fed by me. My problem was myself, not him. So I didn't get to spend my therapy sessions talking about him but in talking about myself and my perceptions and feelings I started to heal things I had been carrying with me for a long time. I started to correct my faulty thinking, my defeatist attitudes, etc, and by fixing those things I slowly got stronger and realized that my happiness and joy didn't ever depend on anyone else.

So if your therapy involved talking about him over and over again then you weren't getting good therapy. It's supposed to be about you, not anyone else. I'd recommend trying it again with someone else but make a conscious effort to focus the therapy on you and stop talking about him.
anika99 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2nd April 2019, 12:52 PM   #839
Established Member
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 17,612
I agree with the poster who said you need to start another thread about your self improvement. You said the other day that you are going to stop talking about this guy because it is keeping your thoughts stuck on him. Yet here you are again talking about him and viewing some video 30 times. You still need therapy and should find another therapist right away. Continuing to talk about this guy who was never really an ex of yours is poisoning you.
stillafool is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2nd April 2019, 12:56 PM   #840
Established Member
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 17,612
Quote:
Originally Posted by anika99 View Post
So if your therapy involved talking about him over and over again then you weren't getting good therapy. It's supposed to be about you, not anyone else. I'd recommend trying it again with someone else but make a conscious effort to focus the therapy on you and stop talking about him.
These are good points. Maybe Madd's therapist did no longer want to talk about her ex and that is why Madd quit therapy. Perhaps she feels she can still talk about him here and that is why she is trying to start this back up again. Not going to happen Madd.

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 2nd April 2019 at 7:28 PM.. Reason: quote edited
stillafool is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
I am head-over-heels crazy over another guy but I have a boyfriend of almost 3 years juydster Long-Distance Relationships 13 4th July 2015 3:15 AM
I am head over heels in love with her dody Friends and Lovers 0 10th October 2008 2:20 AM
I'm head-over-heels in love with a MM who happens to be a top customer, too! Guest Business and Professional Relationships 2 29th August 2006 2:49 PM
H E L P! Insecure little me, I want him to be head over heels and know it! Chibaby Self-Improvement and Personal Well-Being 3 14th May 2004 12:57 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 4:07 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2018 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.