Pyro Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 look....one main problem with todays kids is they have been coddled too much. they have been told by teacher and parents that there are no losers, only winners. they've been told that if you get all "C's" in school that is OK, they have been told that if you don't win the ball game that is OK, WELL ITS NOT OK!!!!.....these same kids have had no consequences of their bad actions. what sorta generation are we raising here? a bunch of pussies. You know, there are other consequences besides spanking the child. Link to post Share on other sites
Author luvtoto Posted December 20, 2006 Author Share Posted December 20, 2006 look....one main problem with todays kids is they have been coddled too much. they have been told by teacher and parents that there are no losers, only winners. they've been told that if you get all "C's" in school that is OK, they have been told that if you don't win the ball game that is OK, WELL ITS NOT OK!!!!.....these same kids have had no consequences of their bad actions. what sorta generation are we raising here? a bunch of pussies. No one is hearing a word that I say. I am actually agreeing with Moose right now...I am tired, also, of trying to explain myself. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 Things like that work when they're properly reinforced. You need to pick something that they enjoy doing the most, for it to be effective. If the kid plays playstation constantly, taking it away for a week will be hell for him. no that won't work, they'll only go over to their friends house and play... they will, however, remember a few good smacks upside the head. Link to post Share on other sites
WoWaddict Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 no that won't work, they'll only go over to their friends house and play... they will, however, remember a few good smacks upside the head. they will if you let them. If you know they are going to go to a friend's house and play, don't let them go to their friend's house either. It's not difficult, you dont need to smack your child around everytime they make a mistake. Link to post Share on other sites
Author luvtoto Posted December 20, 2006 Author Share Posted December 20, 2006 no that won't work, they'll only go over to their friends house and play... they will, however, remember a few good smacks upside the head. I know a mother that almost lost custody of her son, because of a few good smacks she gave her son on the head. It was an issue in a custody case. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 they will if you let them. If you know they are going to go to a friend's house and play, don't let them go to their friend's house either. It's not difficult, you dont need to smack your child around everytime they make a mistake. That or you call the friends parent and explain that they are to stay away from the playstation. Smacking them upside their head is when you have run out of good ideas. Alpha, you were smacked/spanked while growing up and now you think that its acceptable to hit women.... Link to post Share on other sites
WoWaddict Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 That or you call the friends parent and explain that they are to stay away from the playstation. Smacking them upside their head is when you have run out of good ideas. Alpha, you were smacked/spanked while growing up and now you think that its acceptable to hit women.... exactly my point. You can't just say 'no Playstation' and walk away. You have to back up your punishments or your kids will go buckwild and never listen to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Porn_Guy Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 That or you call the friends parent and explain that they are to stay away from the playstation. yea right, that kids parents are probably too busy in their meth lab Link to post Share on other sites
WoWaddict Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 yea right, that kids parents are probably too busy in their meth lab ok i really hope you are kidding. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 yea right, that kids parents are probably too busy in their meth lab You just always have something negative to say don't you? Link to post Share on other sites
WoWaddict Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 You just always have something negative to say don't you? is he serious? Sometimes I can't tell. Link to post Share on other sites
My Fair Katie Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 no that won't work, they'll only go over to their friends house and play... they will, however, remember a few good smacks upside the head. This really hurts, but I sorta agree with Alpha on this (to an extent, relax). Parents have abdicated so much control over their children. Almost as though they're afraid of their own kids. Don't believe me? Go to any family dining type restaurant. And it seems a lot of children know this. Am I promoting beating the crap out of your kids? NO. Spanking can have a place though and I do think it should be used *sparingly*. And pretty much only when correction is needed immediately (such as kid is about to do something dangerous like wave a knife at their little brother). The problem arises when emotions are running high and the parent spanks out of anger. *That* is counterproductive. But to get back on topic, I think luvtoto did the right thing regarding the CD. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 is he serious? Sometimes I can't tell. When he starts making comments like that, I don't take it serious. He likes to look at things half-empty instead of half-full. Link to post Share on other sites
Porn_Guy Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 When he starts making comments like that, I don't take it serious. He likes to look at things half-empty instead of half-full. Please stick with the topic/issue at hand. you have a tendency to make personal attacks and bring personal issues into the discussion. Link to post Share on other sites
WoWaddict Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 This really hurts, but I sorta agree with Alpha on this (to an extent, relax). Parents have abdicated so much control over their children. Almost as though they're afraid of their own kids. Don't believe me? Go to any family dining type restaurant. And it seems a lot of children know this. Am I promoting beating the crap out of your kids? NO. Spanking can have a place though and I do think it should be used *sparingly*. And pretty much only when correction is needed immediately (such as kid is about to do something dangerous like wave a knife at their little brother). The problem arises when emotions are running high and the parent spanks out of anger. *That* is counterproductive. But to get back on topic, I think luvtoto did the right thing regarding the CD. I'm not going to jump on you, because thats a completely fine. If your kid is waving a knife around, do what you have to do. The reason I don't agree with alpha, is because he's saying that smacking a kid around is the first solution to behavior problems. Link to post Share on other sites
WoWaddict Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 Please stick with the topic/issue at hand. you have a tendency to make personal attacks and bring personal issues into the discussion. dude, you just accused your child's friend's parents of running meth labs. If you are doing your job as a parent, you would know if you're sending your child to a house that runs meth labs. I'm pretty sure that's an unspoken agreement among everyone. Don't tell people to stay on topic when you throw out random accusations that have nothing to do with anything. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 The reason I don't agree with alpha, is because he's saying that smacking a kid around is the first solution to behavior problems. I didn't say that....my point is that parents should be able to beat their kids if and when its indicated and after other ways of disciplining have been tried. As long as the parents don't put life or limb in jeopardy its OK. Link to post Share on other sites
hotgurl Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 I have raised my daughter with no spanking. She got time outs as a younger child than I took privledges away. She is very well behaved. I always get comments when I am at restuarants, parties & events on how well behaved she is and how is nice to see for a change. She knows what is expected of her. The way kids are today has less to do with spanking and more to do with parental laziness. It is hard work to raise kids and it is hard to punish them and follow through because it can become almost a punishments for the parent. The away the TV and you actually have to talk to your kids. Also we talk a lot and have family dinners and a consistent routine. I never talk down to her and always tell her why what she did was wrong and discuss better ways to deal with whatever the problem it. Of course she is older now so we can talk about what is bothering her etc.... Link to post Share on other sites
WoWaddict Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 I didn't say that....my point is that parents should be able to beat their kids if and when its indicated and after other ways of disciplining have been tried. As long as the parents don't put life or limb in jeopardy its OK. everyone has their own opinion of what 'life and limb' means. that's why its not written into the law. The sad part is, a lot of people feel that within 'life and limb' means stopping short of killing the child or causing serious injury, which even though 'technically' follows the life and limb rule, is totally inappropriate. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 I have raised my daughter with no spanking. She got time outs as a younger child than I took privledges away. She is very well behaved. I always get comments when I am at restuarants, parties & events on how well behaved she is and how is nice to see for a change. She knows what is expected of her. The way kids are today has less to do with spanking and more to do with parental laziness. It is hard work to raise kids and it is hard to punish them and follow through because it can become almost a punishments for the parent. The away the TV and you actually have to talk to your kids. Also we talk a lot and have family dinners and a consistent routine. I never talk down to her and always tell her why what she did was wrong and discuss better ways to deal with whatever the problem it. Of course she is older now so we can talk about what is bothering her etc.... Seriously HG, not to sound lame, but you are my idol when it comes to parenting. That is exactly how I want to and intend to raise my family. Link to post Share on other sites
hotgurl Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 Seriously HG, not to sound lame, but you are my idol when it comes to parenting. That is exactly how I want to and intend to raise my family. thanks. I got lucky though my daughter is a good kid. But it is hard since I don't have any backup. There have been times when I have been so frustrated and angry I had to go outside to cool down or put her in her room or else I might have spanked her. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 thanks. I got lucky though my daughter is a good kid. But it is hard since I don't have any backup. There have been times when I have been so frustrated and angry I had to go outside to cool down or put her in her room or else I might have spanked her. I can imagine that it was difficult but you did set a fine example for her and I am sure that she will be just as good a parent as you. Link to post Share on other sites
WoWaddict Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 thanks. I got lucky though my daughter is a good kid. But it is hard since I don't have any backup. There have been times when I have been so frustrated and angry I had to go outside to cool down or put her in her room or else I might have spanked her. you really are a great example of a parent. That right there proves that you don't have to smack your kids around for them to be well behaved. you are also my parenting idol. Link to post Share on other sites
tinktronik Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 Ill tell you what , I don't think a few "good whacks" work . I have three very rambuncious little boys (ver close in age ) 4 -6-7 . Spanking does not work , yelling does not work , taking things away does not work . What DOES work , is a bucket some soap and three rags . If the infringement is severe enough , the outside walls of my house get really really clean. My boys hate it . There usually is not a spot on my house . But the boys all know the rules and they know what punishment to expect , they also can judge the "amount" of cleaning they need to do depending on what they did to earn it . I always talk to them first tell them exactly what they did , why it was not okay , if they did not know beforehand that what they did was not okay , there is no punishment , but if it is repeated they are informed , so there is a punishment. I actually had workmen in my home who all told me they had multiple boys at home that they did not know what to do with . Spanking did'nt work , punishment did not work . ect. ... About the forth day they were at my house working , my boys all got into a pile up fight where one of them got hurt . So I took the other two out back got the bucket soap and rags and put them to work . I cleaned my other boy up and sent him out for fighting as well . We spent an hour scrubbing both the walls and deck . At the end my boys came in and sat quietly in a row , helped me stack the dishes , prepared lunch and all sat quietly and in order untill lunch was served . One of the workmen came up to me with his eyes all big and said "what did you do to them?" ... "I've never seen kids behave so well ." So I explained to him . He'd thought I'd beat the "tar" out of them . He went out that day and bought a bucket ,sponge and cleaning products for his sons . There just has to be some punishment as well as expectation and clear lines set down by the parent as well as follow through and supervising your kids. But you can't punish a kid for something that they did not know was wrong . Link to post Share on other sites
Author luvtoto Posted December 20, 2006 Author Share Posted December 20, 2006 There just has to be some punishment as well as expectation and clear lines set down by the parent as well as follow through and supervising your kids. But you can't punish a kid for something that they did not know was wrong . Follow through that is the key. Just this last night, my daughter asked to go over to a friends house. I told her no. She came unglued and we *she* had an argument. She stormed out of the house and walked the whole way to her friends house. I could have slapped her, or hit her or whatever else, but I didn't do anything. What could I have done?? I can't control her. Today, when she came to my work from school wanting a ride home. I told her to walk home. If she's so keen on walking to where she needs to go...then be my guest. I live on the other side of town...but, nothing she hasn't walked before when she really wants to go somewhere. I just don't see how spanking is the answer. There are so many other options. Link to post Share on other sites
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