alphamale Posted May 17, 2006 Share Posted May 17, 2006 you see I'm in a field of work where I'm privy to very intimate insight into the male mind;) do you run a house of ill repute? Link to post Share on other sites
Alexandra Posted May 17, 2006 Share Posted May 17, 2006 do you run a house of ill repute? Worse but it does involve couches... Link to post Share on other sites
darrren12000 Posted May 17, 2006 Share Posted May 17, 2006 I think that even when men are friends with women and they want to have sex with them, it can be about much more than sex. It can be about intimacy, having strong emotions for the person, etc. Otherwise, all of these guys whining about being "in love" with their best friends would just go and get sex elsewhere. Also, I just know to many heterosexual man-woman friends who do not have sexual tension. Finally, while you say the only men who can do this are gay men, I think this is ironic because as a gay man, I have many gay male friends and do not want to sleep with them. This is a perfect analogy. Of course, I have wanted to sleep with and have slept with several friends as well. I guess this is a benefit of being in an all male environment. It is easier to supress emotions and just do the sex thing.... Link to post Share on other sites
noclobber Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 Women seem to understand that when a man calls just for sex and is unavailable he is using her, but they don't get that it is the same for men on the emotional side? Having a woman tell you all her problems and want to hang out all the time yet not put out is just as lame. In a lot of ways I agree with you 'cos I have been in your situation. In your case the girl is telling her problems and getting the emotional support but in my case she doesn't even do that. All that she wants to do is just spend time with me. She pursues me like crazy... I seriously don't understand what she is getting out of me.. I have not spent even a dime for her... In fact just 2 days ago she gave me tickets to Pearl Jam concert as a gift (the ticket's cost is $115). I just gave up on her and have distanced myself... And now she is chasing me! All of this is in the name of "just friends". WTF????? Alpha has neatly summarized the benefits that women get out of their male friends and I agree with him. I really don't know whether this girl is my friend or she is with me just b'cos she is enjoying the attention and getting the ego-boost. For women everything happens at the emotional level and b'cos of this its tough to say and make them realize that they are indeed using men. They just won't agree... B'cos of all this I really think that men are better off without female friends.. I mean what can you probably say about a friend when you don't know whether she really cares about you or is just with you b'cos of the attention she is getting? Link to post Share on other sites
vi_pn_babe25 Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 I actually have more guy friends than girl friends just because of the simple fact that some girls like to start drama. That's why I usually have more fun hanging out with my guy friends, I get along with them better. BUT it's true that it can get complicated being friends because it's somtimes hard to figure out what they're really in it for. So you just have to put them in their place...I mean be honest Link to post Share on other sites
noclobber Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 I actually have more guy friends than girl friends just because of the simple fact that some girls like to start drama. That's why I usually have more fun hanging out with my guy friends, I get along with them better. BUT it's true that it can get complicated being friends because it's somtimes hard to figure out what they're really in it for. So you just have to put them in their place...I mean be honest This is exactly our concern as well! We don't know whether you are really being with us b'cos you like us and our company or you are there for the attention. Link to post Share on other sites
Craig Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 You know if a woman really wants to be a real friend to a guy, she will go ahead and put out for him as a friend! That is friendship! Some women do put out for their friends. It's a fact. Link to post Share on other sites
Craig Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 Anyone who suggests that all <men/women> are <something> is not fully in touch with reality. It's easy to make this common mistake because we all have a specific and unique point of view that all too often does not take into account the point of view of other people. Uh, we are all different--people, we have similarities but each individual is, well, individual. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 I have a guy friend and we have done lots together ( concerts , hiking , ect ) One day at lunch he says : " So when are we going to get naked together and have hot sex " ? I said ____ I can't sleep with you ! I wont ever hear from you again " He nodded his head and said " Yeah your right " lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Alexandra Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 Anyone who suggests that all <men/women> are <something> is not fully in touch with reality. Uh, we are all different--people, we have similarities but each individual is, well, individual. Osculation of the day. Now tell Maoi how you and I can be purely platonic close intimate friends Link to post Share on other sites
barfool Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 Hmmm, I have had sex with most of my friends, male and female, or have at least at some point wanted to. Then again, I'm a horny bunny. I don't think I befriend people with the ultimate aim of having sex with them but the friendship makes that desire come about for me. (but I'm not a guy, am I allowed to do that?) With male and female friends there seems to always be a catch. The men want sex and the women want someone to complain to. At least that's how I feel about it right now. Of course, I don't mind the sex thing. It's natural to have sexual desire for someone you share emotional closeness with. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 It's natural to have sexual desire for someone you share emotional closeness with. it's a natural desire for women BARFOOL....men don't need "emotional closeness" Link to post Share on other sites
kitten chick Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 Good lord ALPHA, do you even read people's posts? She said, it's natural to have sexual desire for someone that you have emotional closeness with not you need emotional closeness to have sexual desires for someone. Or were you just using this as an opportunity to showcase your highly impressive research? Link to post Share on other sites
suunto Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 This is why I'm not friends with men any more. I used to have scads of male friends. In fact almost all of my friends were male, up until last year. I realized that they were all hanging out with me hoping that at some point I would f*** them. It's the truth. I don't attribute it to me being especially hot or strikingly gorgeous. I think that most men don't put as much thought into their sexuality as women do and for the most part they just want a warm, willing, friendly vagina on hand at all times. great post :laugh: and at no point do i want anything from you, i've already got it :laugh: :laugh: lmao Link to post Share on other sites
noclobber Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 Ok this thread reiterates the fact that guys are always looking for sex from their female friends... But as the OP had so elegantly put it women are not innocnet victims!!! They are also hanging around their guy friends always looking for attention and stroking their egos. It cuts both ways Link to post Share on other sites
Craig Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 Originally Posted by Craig Anyone who suggests that all <men/women> are <something> is not fully in touch with reality. Uh, we are all different--people, we have similarities but each individual is, well, individual. Osculation of the day. Now tell Maoi how you and I can be purely platonic close intimate friends It's painfully simple if you mean that natural feelings are not acted upon. One simply picks up a stick, draws a line in the sand and that line is never crossed regardless of how horny one becomes in the moment. One plans not to become more than friends for ones own reasons. Purely Platonic (if your definition of Platonic means completely free of any physical desire) dual gender friendships may be a myth. Don't guys think about sex every 7 seconds or something? To feign friendship with the intent of getting in someones pants is not friendship, it is manipulative, disingenuous and duplicitous. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 it's a natural desire for women BARFOOL....men don't need "emotional closeness" You say men don't need emotional closeness to have sex , correct ? Do men need emotional closeness in general though ? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 You say men don't need emotional closeness to have sex , correct ? yes Do men need emotional closeness in general though ? yes, they do, in other areas of life. but its not a prerequisite to have sex generally. for many women it is a prerequisite. Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 yes yes, they do, in other areas of life. but its not a prerequisite to have sex generally. for many women it is a prerequisite. And the Reverend continues unabated with His generalities... Link to post Share on other sites
prfrogkisser Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 I believe is possible to have a friendship with a guy. Does he think about having sex with you? Big possibility Yes... if he finds you attractive and interesting(nice lips,boobs and ass ). Men think about sex most of the time so at some point they will think of you that way but its up to the female to make it CLEAR what kind of friendship this is.Communication in any friendship is important. Honestly i only have two guy friends. One is married and we have a cool friendship. I think he doesnt approach me sexually because he is married but he might think about it;). The other guy is gay *****Chris Rock said ....Guy friends for women are a D**K in a glass case... Break in case of emergency!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
noclobber Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 *****Chris Rock said ....Guy friends for women are a D**K in a glass case... Break in case of emergency!!!! That's kind of humiliating... Why wud any guy want to be friends with women when they think of us in this way? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 That's kind of humiliating... Why wud any guy want to be friends with women when they think of us in this way? thats why you never be just friends with the ladies. you can be friends with them while you're f***ing them, or... you can just f*** them. but never, ever be just friends with 'em. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Moai Posted May 18, 2006 Author Share Posted May 18, 2006 It isn't so much a question of whether or not men can be friends with women. There are women that I am friends with that I don't want to sleep with, friends that I wouldn't mind if it happened, and others that I'd love to. BUT, none of these women is my "best" friend, and as I mentioned before I don't call them, ask them over (unless lots of people are going to be there), or talk to them about the deep things in my life. The relationship that I am talking about is basically a boyfriend with no benefits. Numerous calls throughout the day, expectations of hanging out regularly, excpectations of confiding conversations, seeing each other alone often, et al. The only reason I can fathom that a man would have a relationship like this with a woman is because he wants her sexuallly for sure--and probably wants her to be his girlfriend. That is not to say that he doesn't genuinely like her and is using their emotional connection to "get some." It is just that he wants to "get some" from the woman he is closest to. Isn't that what a relationship is? I think that alpha was right in the list he posted earlier as to why women perpetuate realtionships like this, but I also think that they know what they are doing and that gives them a charge also. In the past when I was an idiot and had relationships like this, I noticed that the woman in question would get extrememly jealous of other women, but felt that they had free reign to sleep with any guy they wanted. Of course, when she finds a guy that she likes and wants a relationship with the man is shut out completely. Doesn't that suck? Why is that seemingly no big deal, but when the guy finally does make his move, gets shot down and then moves on he is a jerk? In this type of relationship the woman is getting everything she wants and the man is getting almost nothing of what he wants. I think women do this on purpose, and I think it totally sucks. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
noclobber Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 One question for you Moai: Are you telling that once they get a boyfriend this guy "friend" will be thrown out? What you are talking is 100% truth but I don't think even 1 female is going to agree with this... even the ones on this forum. But talk about a guy that uses a woman for sex and then backs away when she wants a relationship he will be regarded as pure evil!! It isn't so much a question of whether or not men can be friends with women. There are women that I am friends with that I don't want to sleep with, friends that I wouldn't mind if it happened, and others that I'd love to. BUT, none of these women is my "best" friend, and as I mentioned before I don't call them, ask them over (unless lots of people are going to be there), or talk to them about the deep things in my life. The relationship that I am talking about is basically a boyfriend with no benefits. Numerous calls throughout the day, expectations of hanging out regularly, excpectations of confiding conversations, seeing each other alone often, et al. The only reason I can fathom that a man would have a relationship like this with a woman is because he wants her sexuallly for sure--and probably wants her to be his girlfriend. That is not to say that he doesn't genuinely like her and is using their emotional connection to "get some." It is just that he wants to "get some" from the woman he is closest to. Isn't that what a relationship is? I think that alpha was right in the list he posted earlier as to why women perpetuate realtionships like this, but I also think that they know what they are doing and that gives them a charge also. In the past when I was an idiot and had relationships like this, I noticed that the woman in question would get extrememly jealous of other women, but felt that they had free reign to sleep with any guy they wanted. Of course, when she finds a guy that she likes and wants a relationship with the man is shut out completely. Doesn't that suck? Why is that seemingly no big deal, but when the guy finally does make his move, gets shot down and then moves on he is a jerk? In this type of relationship the woman is getting everything she wants and the man is getting almost nothing of what he wants. I think women do this on purpose, and I think it totally sucks. Link to post Share on other sites
Brittanyjean06 Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 I think maybe your used to the being around people who think like this, or used to thinking girls use people, It's just sterotyping the world, NOT EVERYONE is like that Now if you think that everyone is like that, well than you haven't met everyone Link to post Share on other sites
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