What do I do now?

[SCMandy]

10 minutes ago, Sony12 said:

I do have a question then. If you had been communicating that much then prior to that and had been on several dates prior to going to bed with each other why did you have that kind of reaction? Because that type of reaction is more inline with people who are indeed just hooking up.

Does being sexual with people scare you?

No, it was because of his size.  That is what led to my reaction.  It was significant in all ways imaginable 

[Sony12]

3 minutes ago, SCMandy said:

No, it was because of his size.  That is what led to my reaction.  It was significant in all ways imaginable 

Ok then if that truly was the reason and it caused you to react like that after already being on several dates with him then you should probably find a guy who isn't as big. And he should find a young lady who likes a large package.

[stillafool]

3 hours ago, SCMandy said:

I’ve only had two previous ‘serious’ boyfriends.  Both were my age.  One in high school and one in college, they both lasted a little over a year.  I was never truly happy in either of them for a number of reasons.  Mostly because I felt like they liked me for a certain attribute more than they actually liked me, and that was based on things they said, not just to me but others as well and how they acted with me

Only 2 guys?  Well I promise you there are young men out there who have good intentions who are smart, intelligent, good looking, fun and know how to treat a girl.  You can't judge all young men based on a high school and college boyfriend.  I meant men who are 3 to 4 years older (27-28).  Do those guys hit on you?

[SCMandy]

23 minutes ago, stillafool said:

Only 2 guys?  Well I promise you there are young men out there who have good intentions who are smart, intelligent, good looking, fun and know how to treat a girl.  You can't judge all young men based on a high school and college boyfriend.  I meant men who are 3 to 4 years older (27-28).  Do those guys hit on you?

Sure. And I have no doubt there are, I’m just telling you my experience so far

[Sony12]

I have to say. Most of the ladies I have encountered who are this focused on size are ones that do like them big. This whole situation is starting to sound a little odd. 

 

Edited May 7 by Sony12

[Els]

11 minutes ago, Sony12 said:

I have to say. Most of the ladies I have encountered who are this focused on size are ones that do like them big. This whole situation is starting to sound a little odd.

It's not odd at all. Many, many women find large penises to be painful/uncomfortable, especially if they're not used to them. You're just hearing more about the size queens because that's what is fetishized.

Fortunately, the vast majority of men are well within the average bell curve.

[Sony12]

10 minutes ago, Els said:

It's not odd at all. Many, many women find large penises to be painful/uncomfortable, especially if they're not used to them. You're just hearing more about the size queens because that's what is fetishized.

Fortunately, the vast majority of men are well within the average bell curve.

I talk to a lot of women older than me and many of them say that the guys package is one of the main things they like about younger men.

In this situation I do have a feeling that this was infact a sex date for her to react the way she claims she reacted.

Edited May 7 by Sony12

[SCMandy]

12 minutes ago, Sony12 said:

I talk to a lot of women older than me and many of them say that the guys package is one of the main things they like about younger men.

In this situation I do have a feeling that this was infact a sex date for her to react the way she claims she reacted.

Well you can think what you want but that was not, in fact, what the date was.  Things progressed over time and over a couple of dates, just like in any relationship.  But honestly, I don’t need to convince you, I know my truth, you’re just making assumptions to fit what is in your head

[Sony12]

2 minutes ago, SCMandy said:

Well you can think what you want but that was not, in fact, what the date was.  Things progressed over time and over a couple of dates, just like in any relationship.  But honestly, I don’t need to convince you, I know my truth, you’re just making assumptions to fit what is in your head

That's fine but your story has changed a bit over the course of these pages. And your original post does make it sound like a normal sex date two people planned. You don't give any hints in your original posts that it was actually a guy you had been going on several dates with.

[SCMandy]

The ‘story’ hasn’t changed, I just didn’t tell all of the buildup as I didn’t think it was important for my question.  But I’ve since added that.

So believe it, or not…Either way I’m not arguing with you on this anymore 

[Els]

1 hour ago, Sony12 said:

I talk to a lot of women older than me and many of them say that the guys package is one of the main things they like about younger men.

Sure, but I don't see how this has anything to do with size? In fact it almost certainly doesn't, because penis size doesn't change with age, lol.

I think you're assuming that they're talking about size, because for some reason many men seem to think that bigger = better. Many, and dare I say most, women don't feel that way.

[Sony12]

19 minutes ago, Els said:

Sure, but I don't see how this has anything to do with size? In fact it almost certainly doesn't, because penis size doesn't change with age, lol.

I think you're assuming that they're talking about size, because for some reason many men seem to think that bigger = better. Many, and dare I say most, women don't feel that way.

Oh no I know what they are talking about. They want a guy who can keep it firm. I'm just saying that is important to them and one of the reasons they started dating younger men. 

I don't find too many younger gals that consider a guys package to be that big of a deal one way or the other. Which is why I found it interesting that this supposed 24 year old young lady was making a big deal of it to the point she said she abruptly ended the situation right then and there when she found out.

That doesn't sound like something someone would do to an individual they were dating (like she is now claiming) and would instead try to make the best of the situation.

 

Edited May 7 by Sony12

[SCMandy]

15 minutes ago, Sony12 said:

Oh no I know what they are talking about. They want a guy who can keep it firm. I'm just saying that is important to them and one of the reasons they started dating younger men. 

I don't find too many younger gals that consider a guys package to be that big of a deal one way or the other. Which is why I found it interesting that this supposed 24 year old young lady was making a big deal of it to the point she said she abruptly ended the situation right then and there when she found out.

That doesn't sound like something someone would do to an individual they were dating (like she is now claiming) and would instead try to make the best of the situation.

 

You are so rude and condescending.  Please do not expect another response from me to any of your replies 

[stillafool]

2 hours ago, SCMandy said:

Sure. And I have no doubt there are, I’m just telling you my experience so far

Oh, so you do get hit on by those guys.  Are they the ones who are immature, can't carry a conversation and are only interested in sex?

[happyhorizons]

28 minutes ago, Sony12 said:

Oh no I know what they are talking about. They want a guy who can keep it firm. I'm just saying that is important to them and one of the reasons they started dating younger men. 

I don't find too many younger gals that consider a guys package to be that big of a deal one way or the other. Which is why I found it interesting that this supposed 24 year old young lady was making a big deal of it to the point she said she abruptly ended the situation right then and there when she found out.

That doesn't sound like something someone would do to an individual they were dating (like she is now claiming) and would instead try to make the best of the situation.

 

I don’t think she said they were “dating” but rather they had gone out. Also, I think she was genuinely looking for some insight/advice on how to proceed.

[SCMandy]

4 minutes ago, stillafool said:

Oh, so you do get hit on by those guys.  Are they the ones who are immature, can't carry a conversation and are only interested in sex?

It ultimately seems to be the case more often than not yes.  And I don’t mean to generalize as I know not all are like that.  I’ve probably just had awful luck so far 

[Sony12]

12 minutes ago, happyhorizons said:

I don’t think she said they were “dating” but rather they had gone out. Also, I think she was genuinely looking for some insight/advice on how to proceed.

Perhaps she didn't say 'dating' but she did say they had gone out several times by that point. When people go out a few times they have by then decided that they like the person and that makes her reaction seem a little odd.

In her original few posts she did make it sound like it was a hook up situation and if it was that that would make her reaction she said she had make more sense.

[stillafool]

20 minutes ago, SCMandy said:

It ultimately seems to be the case more often than not yes.  And I don’t mean to generalize as I know not all are like that.  I’ve probably just had awful luck so far 

Well give it time and give them a chance if things don't work out with the older guy.  You may meet the love of your life.

[SCMandy]

I am totally not closed off to that possibility at all.  Thank you for that! 

[NotToday]

OP, what are you hoping will happen with this man? Hooking up, dating, relationship, etc?

[SCMandy]

More than hooking up, although I’m not sure hooking up is even going to happen all things considered.  So I am a bit confused at this point to be honest 

[goldengirls]

Well the comments are all over the place on this thread 🥺 

but I wanna address the actual problem… and it’s gonna be TMI sorry in advance. 
but is it possible you were just really dry and not quite ready to be intimate yet? 
maybe trying some lube can help the situation.. and maybe he’s willing to go slower or try a position that’s not so painful?  You are younger so I assume you are probably really tight (again sorry so tmi) so maybe you guys just need to work at it, if that makes sense.  Find different ways to please each other? Oral.. hand play etc…. 
 

just adding this in there as I see everyone is just focused on the age difference 🙄 

but he seems like a nice guy to you so maybe have these talks and see what can be more helpful.  
relationships aren’t allllll SEXXXX 

and if it is for him then you will know what he was after in the long run.  If he’s willing to try things for your comfort then go for it! 

[SCMandy]

Well, I think you really hit things spot on in a couple of areas there.  Definitely a lot of details and I probably don’t want to share all of those publicly.  Thank you so much for this thoughtful response, it was incredibly kind of you 

[goldengirls]

No, don’t share on here.  Just take the info and see what you can do to help situation.  

[Els]

12 hours ago, SCMandy said:

It ultimately seems to be the case more often than not yes.  And I don’t mean to generalize as I know not all are like that.  I’ve probably just had awful luck so far 

Are you still looking at the moment, or are you holding out hope that this guy will be "it"? Try not to let this "friendship" with him convince you to close off other options or to stop dating men closer to your age.

When I was 19, I had a crush on an older man (not even as much older as yours, he was 11 years older), and he gently turned me down. Now, looking back at it from the other side of 30, I recognize that he did the right thing, even though it hurt back then. It would never have worked, we were in such different places in life, and him declining freed me up to meet a guy in college who ended up being my husband. In my opinion, that's what this man should be doing. However, of course this is just my personal opinion.

Edited May 8 by Els