SCMandy Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 I have been talking to a guy much older than me (I am 24, he is 48) for a few months. We ended up getting together recently and as we were hooking up i completely freaked out over how big he was and awkwardly and abruptly stopped things as a result. I feel stupid, embarrassed and just silly. I haven’t said anything to him since because I feel so dumb and don’t know what to do! I really like him, we have great chemistry and have had incredible conversations. Any advice or thoughts? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 Well, he's still going to be the same size if you try again. Since you're just looking for casual sex, you might just keep looking for people who are a better fit (haha). The online "talking" that you enjoy can continue as long as you both feel like spending your time that way. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 There is nothing dumb here. I am glad you had enough confidence in yourself to say no at the last minute. You tell him you enjoyed the incredible conversation but you are not compatible and you move to next. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sony12 Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 Yeah if you two are just 'hooking up' I wouldn't worry about it. If he doesn't have the type of body you are looking for then just move on from the situation. A lot of 48 year olds have kids your age so chances are he isn't looking for anything more than some fun with a hot young thing anyways. He can find a young lady that likes them big. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author SCMandy Posted May 3 Author Share Posted May 3 16 minutes ago, Sony12 said: Yeah if you two are just 'hooking up' I wouldn't worry about it. If he doesn't have the type of body you are looking for then just move on from the situation. A lot of 48 year olds have kids your age so chances are he isn't looking for anything more than some fun with a hot young thing anyways. He can find a young lady that likes them big. I guess I’m definitely curious and don’t mean that I don’t want to experience that. It’s just I was shocked and not ready for it mainly. And I worry that my reaction came across as silly or immature Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sony12 Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 2 minutes ago, SCMandy said: I guess I’m definitely curious and don’t mean that I don’t want to experience that. It’s just I was shocked and not ready for it mainly. And I worry that my reaction came across as silly or immature Yeah just contact him again then and see if he would be interested in getting together. He shouldn't be emotionally distressed over the situation with someone half his age. If you are worried about him putting it inside you just perform oral on him. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author SCMandy Posted May 3 Author Share Posted May 3 1 minute ago, Sony12 said: Yeah just contact him again then and see if he would be interested in getting together. He shouldn't be emotionally distressed over the situation with someone half his age. If you are worried about him putting it inside you just perform oral on him. I probably am just overthinking it. I’m sure he’s had a similar reaction before so maybe he is used to it? Thank you for taking the time to respond Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 4 minutes ago, SCMandy said: I guess I’m definitely curious and don’t mean that I don’t want to experience that. It’s just I was shocked and not ready for it mainly. And I worry that my reaction came across as silly or immature Well - it's up to you to get over worrying about that. It's understandable that you have those feelings but you have to just move on. Are you experienced in having hookups with guys from the internet that you have been "talking" to? Do you feel safe and confident in that situation? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sony12 Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 (edited) 7 minutes ago, SCMandy said: I probably am just overthinking it. I’m sure he’s had a similar reaction before so maybe he is used to it? Thank you for taking the time to respond Some women like them big while others don't. That's a big reason women start dating younger men when they get older because older men begin having trouble with that. If the guy is emotionally stable he should be able to handle it just fine. And yes if he is that big I'm sure he has had reactions like that before. Edited May 3 by Sony12 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 Personally, too big can cause major problems if you aren't really hot for it. I wouldn't want to be stretched out like a ballon for a hookup. I'd have to be dead serious about him. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 If he is that big then he needs to be patient and sensitive to his lady. I would not trust a stranger to use patience and care with me. You sound young and a bit inexperienced, I would not pursue anything with him. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sony12 Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 (edited) I do wonder if the guy had used some E.D. stuff before your encounter. I could see a guy doing that who thought he was going to have sex with a lady 24 years younger than him. Edited May 3 by Sony12 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author SCMandy Posted May 3 Author Share Posted May 3 38 minutes ago, NuevoYorko said: Well - it's up to you to get over worrying about that. It's understandable that you have those feelings but you have to just move on. Are you experienced in having hookups with guys from the internet that you have been "talking" to? Do you feel safe and confident in that situation? I didn’t meet him on the internet so I’ve felt comfortable with him from the beginning Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author SCMandy Posted May 3 Author Share Posted May 3 39 minutes ago, Sony12 said: Some women like them big while others don't. That's a big reason women start dating younger men when they get older because older men begin having trouble with that. If the guy is emotionally stable he should be able to handle it just fine. And yes if he is that big I'm sure he has had reactions like that before. He was very kind and understanding in the moment for sure and I appreciated that immensely. I have to assume he’s had that reaction before, I can’t imagine many guys are as big as he is, it’s crazy Quote Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 Serious question: Are there no younger men available for you to hook up with? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author SCMandy Posted May 3 Author Share Posted May 3 Just now, stillafool said: Serious question: Are there no younger men available for you to hook up with? There are. I just don’t connect really well with guys my age. They are extremely arrogant, emotionally immature and unable to even hold a reasonable conversation. So there is no connection, it’s all physical. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sony12 Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 1 minute ago, SCMandy said: There are. I just don’t connect really well with guys my age. They are extremely arrogant, emotionally immature and unable to even hold a reasonable conversation. So there is no connection, it’s all physical. That's probably true. However men old enough to be your dad likely aren't going to be interested in much more than physical either. They will just be better at masking it because they will in many cases be better at talking to women. Does this guy have kids your age? Is he recently divorced? How much about his personal life do you actually know? 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author SCMandy Posted May 3 Author Share Posted May 3 13 minutes ago, Sony12 said: That's probably true. However men old enough to be your dad likely aren't going to be interested in much more than physical either. They will just be better at masking it because they will in many cases be better at talking to women. Does this guy have kids your age? Is he recently divorced? How much about his personal life do you actually know? I know quite a bit. We’ve been talking for months leading up to now. He does have a son a year younger than me who lives in California now. His wife passed away almost 3 years ago. We definitely have a good connection and can talk for hours, about anything Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sony12 Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 7 minutes ago, SCMandy said: I know quite a bit. We’ve been talking for months leading up to now. He does have a son a year younger than me who lives in California now. His wife passed away almost 3 years ago. We definitely have a good connection and can talk for hours, about anything That's good. Be careful about the situation though and if you can try to avoid getting too attached because if he has a kid just a year younger than you chances are slim he would be looking for anything remotely serious from the situation. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 21 minutes ago, SCMandy said: We definitely have a good connection and can talk for hours, about anything A man that age would probably lick he floor if he thought that would lead you (24) into his bed. Like @Sony12 said older men are just really good at masking their game. You wanting the attention of an older man is common among younger women. Him wanting sex with a young woman the age of his own children is dirty/creepy. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 44 minutes ago, SCMandy said: I know quite a bit. We’ve been talking for months leading up to now. He does have a son a year younger than me who lives in California now. His wife passed away almost 3 years ago. We definitely have a good connection and can talk for hours, about anything I hope you're aware that the bolded is NOT what hookups usually do. It sounds like you're catching feelings. Just be aware that this likely isn't going to lead anywhere. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sony12 Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 (edited) 45 minutes ago, Gaeta said: @Sony12Him wanting sex with a young woman the age of his own children is dirty/creepy. It can definitely be viewed as creepy and dirty but it has become somewhat common in the current culture of dating for both men and women. People have a lot more available to them now than ever before and some will actively look into living out that fantasy. Edited May 3 by Sony12 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author SCMandy Posted May 3 Author Share Posted May 3 27 minutes ago, Els said: I hope you're aware that the bolded is NOT what hookups usually do. It sounds like you're catching feelings. Just be aware that this likely isn't going to lead anywhere. That’s a fair point for sure. Definitely something for me to be mindful of, thank you for calling that out! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 if you are honest with him, i can't imagine how this would be negative. any situation of telling a guy how "big" he is should be just fine and great for the ego. doing the opposite - absolutely not. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sony12 Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 (edited) The guy needs to find himself an in shape 70 year old who is pining for a big one. Edited May 3 by Sony12 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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