Tiktok Video [merged with on topic comments from Gen Z thread]

[ayaj]

So I just saw that about 6hrs ago my gf posted a video on her facebook story or whatever it is (i dont actually use facebook... this video happens to be set on public).

In this video it is a picture of her sitting next to one of her male classmates on a bench (they have the same uniform on is all i know) his arm is not around her but she is leaning into him slightly... for what could arguably be the camera angle as it is off center.

The music in the background is "my heart belongs to you" and as the song plays the words appear over the video. Then text appears at the bottom "I love you! (insert heart emoji) @(his tiktok account)"

We have had one conversation since the video was posted but i was not aware of the video at the time so it has not been discussed yet.

I am guessing i already know the answer to this but is there any context in which my girlfriend is not completely in the wrong posting this video? I really don't know who the guy is yet (his face is blocked by his phone in the video but i am positive it is not her only brother) but say even best case scenario it turns out to just be a very close platonic friend... the posting of the video still seems very inappropriate to me.

Thoughts?

Edited January 21 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Wiseman2]

41 minutes ago, smwia30 said:

We have had one conversation since the video was posted but i was not aware of the video at the time so it has not been discussed yet.

Let her know you saw the video and simply ask about it. 

[ayaj]

So without actually having my own social media accounts so far it seems i have been able to confirm she at least had a boyfriend within days of our relationship starting (she did not mention this to me at all) and it seems like it is the guy in the video. At this point it seems extremely likely she has another boyfriend so i wont ask her about it until i get the proof now. I am in the process of creating fake social media accounts and once i have access to their accounts as friends I am pretty confident i will get the proof i need. 

Oh well, so unfortunate for what seemed to be a very serious relationship but maybe it just seemed that way because of how hard she was trying to hide the truth.

Edited January 18 by smwia30

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, smwia30 said:

In this video it is a picture of her sitting next to one of her male classmates on a bench (they have the same uniform on is all i know

Have you met in person? You seem to know very little about each other.  Please don't start catfishing when you could simply ask about it (if you actually know her and see her in person). 

[basil67]

No need to do all the sleuthing.  Just tell her it popped up on your SM and ask her about it.

[ayaj]

I saw a instagram picture where the guy calls her his girlfriend dated from the same week we started dating. I'm pretty sure in the other videos she uploaded today she is also wearing his student id around her neck.

I will ask her after i have all the proof i need where she can not twist it. I am doing sleuthing because based on her lies so far she will likely lie about it and i will need to show her with out a doubt i know to get the truth. The relationship is already over at this point for me but i would actually like to get the 100% truth of what occurred. 

[MsJayne]

There could be some weird explanation for it, but I can see why it would make you wonder. Just ask your girlfriend what it's about. 

[Kassieee]

Clear as day she has something going on with him. Music playing in the background saying my heart belongs to you and then " I love you" text underneath. That's what couples do.

This is is a literal don't waste your time talking to her about it and moving on without an explanation.

 

 

Edited January 18 by SlimShadysWife

[ayaj]

17 minutes ago, SlimShadysWife said:

Clear as day she has something going on with him. Music playing in the background saying my heart belongs to you and then " I love you" text underneath. That's what couples do.

This is is a literal don't waste your time talking to her about it and moving on without an explanation.

 

 

I know and agree it seems so obvious. I don't need to get into all the details but it is just hard for me to understand how someone can be comfortable completely lying to someone and pretend to actually care deeply for them. 

Unfortunately this was a first attempt at someone new after a long 10 year+ relationship that ended with her betrayal. This was a much shorter relationship and not as big of a deal but I wonder how long this one will set be back emotionally.... well at least  my ability to trust again.

[ayaj]

I showed a friend of mine the instagram post where I thought he calls her his girlfriend (not the original fb video i saw). My friend says I am taking the context wrong of the pic because the words on the pic is asking "who's drunk gf is this?" (not actually saying it is his gf)... the picture is not inappropriate but they are the only 2 in the pic and very close to each other. I understand his point but I'm not sure if that context makes it worse or better though hahahaha.

Anyway I am just adding the little updates I have since I work a full time day job so i am going to wait until after work tomorrow (start of the weekend) to talk to her about as I am expecting it to be a very bad conversation lol.

Edited January 19 by smwia30

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, smwia30 said:

Unfortunately this was a first attempt at someone new after a long 10 year+ relationship that ended with her betrayal. 

Do you know this woman in person? You seem to be scouring social media for all sorts of clues as if you don't know where she is, who she's with or what she's doing. Also you mentioned she's in a schoolgirl uniform in this video but you just got out of a 10 year relationship? What kind of details don't you want to get into? Please make sure your past relationship isn't tainting the present one. 

[Kassieee]

36 minutes ago, smwia30 said:

I showed a friend of mine the instagram post where I thought he calls her his girlfriend (not the original fb video i saw). My friend says I am taking the context wrong of the pic because the words on the pic is asking "who's drunk gf is this?" (not actually saying it is his gf)... the picture is not inappropriate but they are the only 2 in the pic and very close to each other. I understand his point but I'm not sure if that context makes it worse or better though hahahaha.

Anyway I am just adding the little updates I have since I work a full time day job so i am going to wait until after work tomorrow (start of the weekend) to talk to her about as I am expecting it to be a very bad conversation lol.

Well it looks bad on her and him. They are both clowning you. Why's she allowing all this- because she doesn't respect you- disrespecting you infront of everyone. I wouldn't sit and have a conversation with that demon but that's just me, good luck.

[glows]

It doesn’t sound like you know this person in real life. Why bother with checking up on her or considering this a serious relationship. Is she still in school or legal? How old are you? Just take your life back and focus on real women you can trust.

[ayaj]

2 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Do you know this woman in person? You seem to be scouring social media for all sorts of clues as if you don't know where she is, who she's with or what she's doing. Also you mentioned she's in a schoolgirl uniform in this video but you just got out of a 10 year relationship? What kind of details don't you want to get into? Please make sure your past relationship isn't tainting the present one. 

Yes i know her in person. I met her through her best friend but that is another complicated story. I work fulltime, she goes full time school. I have no idea what goes on while she is at her school other than the school stuff. I hate social media from a young age and never use it... the fb page with the public video post is also under a fake name for her (i only found this because i know her best friend's name and the best friend's friends list is on public so i see the picture of her with the fake name account that she would assume i do not know about) and as far as i know she has no idea i can see her "reels" there or whatever they are called. I'm not friends with her or her friends on social media so i can not see anything that is not public. If i ask her to now add me to facebook and instagram, obviously she will hide whatever is there if there is something before giving me access if there is something she does not want me to see.

Edited January 19 by smwia30

[ayaj]

2 hours ago, SlimShadysWife said:

Well it looks bad on her and him. They are both clowning you. Why's she allowing all this- because she doesn't respect you- disrespecting you infront of everyone. I wouldn't sit and have a conversation with that demon but that's just me, good luck.

Im still planning on the conversation soon, just after I have a little more evidence and no work the next day. I should just ghost her probably but i really want to hear her try to explain.

The disrespect thing i definitely agree on... even if it turned out to be a gay child hood friend (its not)...the video she is posting comes across completely inappropriate for someone in a relationship with someone else.

Edited January 19 by smwia30

[ayaj]

1 hour ago, glows said:

It doesn’t sound like you know this person in real life. Why bother with checking up on her or considering this a serious relationship. Is she still in school or legal? How old are you? Just take your life back and focus on real women you can trust.

I am older than her yes. She is also a legal adult, when i say she is in school it is university....

[ayaj]

17 minutes ago, smwia30 said:

Yes i know her in person. I met her through her best friend but that is another complicated story. I work fulltime, she goes full time school. I have no idea what goes on while she is at her school other than the school stuff. I hate social media from a young age and never use it... the fb page with the public video post is also under a fake name for her (i only found this because i know her best friend's name and the best friend's friends list is on public so i see the picture of her with the fake name account that she would assume i do not know about) and as far as i know she has no idea i can see her "reels" there or whatever they are called. I'm not friends with her or her friends on social media so i can not see anything that is not public. If i ask her to now add me to facebook and instagram, obviously she will hide whatever is there if there is something before giving me access if there is something she does not want me to see.

I will also admit to spying on the public videos of her hidden facebook page for at least a month now. She posts videos daily and this was the first where i went "wtf?". I did not tell her when i found that fb page a month ago because of the trust issues i have from my past relationship. I kept spying looking for something just like this although honestly it was working the opposite and what i saw was reassuring me until today.

[Alpacalia]

I think if you're judging her on this issue with so little context and no communication, you're either not the right person for her or you're blowing a possible platonic relationship out of proportion. You already assume the video is of her having an illicit affair. I have no idea what's going on between you two, but there seems to be a lack of communication on your part. Or you're immature. Talk to her, calmly. Ask her what was going on in the video. If you find her to be untrustworthy after that conversation, then break up. You're allowed to feel any type of way you want about the video, but have a reason for it. You have no reason to be upset yet because you haven't asked her.

Edited January 19 by Alpacalia

[Kassieee]

1 hour ago, smwia30 said:

Im still planning on the conversation soon, just after I have a little more evidence and no work the next day. I should just ghost her probably but i really want to hear her try to explain.

The disrespect thing i definitely agree on... even if it turned out to be a gay child hood friend (its not)...the video she is posting comes across completely inappropriate for someone in a relationship with someone else.

Till then you will act like nothing ever happened with her. How do you stomach it.

Edited January 19 by SlimShadysWife

[ayaj]

24 minutes ago, Alpacalia said:

I think if you're judging her on this issue with so little context and no communication, you're either not the right person for her or you're blowing a possible platonic relationship out of proportion. You already assume the video is of her having an illicit affair. I have no idea what's going on between you two, but there seems to be a lack of communication on your part. Or you're immature. Talk to her, calmly. Ask her what was going on in the video. If you find her to be untrustworthy after that conversation, then break up. You're allowed to feel any type of way you want about the video, but have a reason for it. You have no reason to be upset yet because you haven't asked her.

Thank you for your input. I just saw this video a few hours ago. I think it is a completely reasonable response to seek others opinions before having the calm conversation with her. I understand my own issues might be causing a bias which is why i am seeking others views that have no reason to be bias.

[ayaj]

1 minute ago, SlimShadysWife said:

Till then you will act like nothing ever happened with her. How do you stomach it.

Easy so far because it just happened and even easier knowing i am not having the conversation with her when i need to work in the morning. 1 day of waiting (working) wont kill me.

[ayaj]

I also just found another pic of the 2 of them very close together from 5 weeks ago (we are already together at this point) where the same guy added the text "thank the lord i dont need to resist anymore hahahaha"

If i had asked her only about the first video right away I would not have found the other 2 pictures to ask about after to see if her story holds up. I think waiting a day for the conversation is a good decision so far.

[Kassieee]

1 minute ago, smwia30 said:

Easy so far because it just happened and even easier knowing i am not having the conversation with her when i need to work in the morning. 1 day of waiting (working) wont kill me.

I really do hope you know all the signs are there.

He called her his girlfriend the same week you two started dating.

And then the video of of them together with a song in the background saying 'heart belongs to you', with a text below it that says I love you. 

You don't have social media so she thought she could get away with it. Hah.

[ayaj]

3 minutes ago, SlimShadysWife said:

I really do hope you know all the signs are there.

He called her his girlfriend the same week you two started dating.

And then the video of of them together with a song in the background saying 'heart belongs to you', with a text below it that says I love you. 

You don't have social media so she thought she could get away with it. Hah.

Yes this is my view of the situation and I agree with you.

My friend did point out to me that the pic from 8 weeks ago says "who's drunk gf is this?" not actually that she is his gf. I don't think that changes much though. Btw, we have been dating for 8 weeks and fb goes by weeks at that point not days so it is possible that picture is from a couple days before she became my girlfriend.

Yeah i think i will just have to start using social media in my future relationships lol

Edited January 19 by smwia30

[Kassieee]

5 minutes ago, smwia30 said:

Yes this is my view of the situation and I agree with you.

My friend did point out to me that the pic from 8 weeks ago says "who's drunk gf is this?" not actually that she is his gf. I don't think that changes much though. Btw, we have been dating for 8 weeks and fb goes by weeks at that point not days so it is possible that picture is from a couple days before she became my girlfriend.

Yeah i think i will just have to start using social media in my future relationships lol

"Who's drunk gf is this" is him being humorous. That's his gf.