How to stop feeling insecure/worried when friends aren't in contact

[Hokuto]

14 minutes ago, glows said:

If that person tends to do that or has a history of doing that then it could be a possibility. Is it worth worrying over? A friend makes an effort to be there in your life or at least you both have some sincerity. You can’t trust this person to get back to you - what loss is it if they walked off the face of the earth? You haven’t lost any friendship that wasn’t there to begin with. 

What do you mean? I mean, what they said is reasonable right to agree we facetime after their friends visiting have left? Also, they said they would find time before I suggested we reschedule. How are they wrong here

Edited August 22, 2021 by Hokuto

[glows]

3 minutes ago, Hokuto said:

What do you mean? I mean, what they said is reasonable right to agree we facetime after their friends visiting have left? Also, they said they would find time before I suggested we reschedule

I understand you really want to talk to this person. Instead of guessing text your friend if it’s been a month since you last spoke and he/she had company over. That person could have been busy and forgotten. If he or she doesn’t respond then yes that person wasn’t as sincere about FaceTiming. 

Don’t waste energy guessing. Ask and talk to find out. 

[Hokuto]

4 minutes ago, glows said:

I understand you really want to talk to this person. Instead of guessing text your friend if it’s been a month since you last spoke and he/she had company over. That person could have been busy and forgotten. If he or she doesn’t respond then yes that person wasn’t as sincere about FaceTiming. 

Don’t waste energy guessing. Ask and talk to find out. 

Uh what should I ask?

[Acacia98]

27 minutes ago, Hokuto said:

I then proposed we do it later and they agreed. I worry that them agreeing so quickly means I am low priority or that they don't try to squeeze in time means they would forget about me

I get the impression that it's just easier for your friend to talk to you once their other friends leave. It can be hard to make time to do other stuff when you're hosting people. Not because you dont care about other people, but because there are only 24 hours in a day and it's not possible to meet several people's needs all at once.

If your friend has not blown you off before, then it's possible you're being unreasonable. Why not give them the benefit of the doubt and see how things play out? You could reach out once the friends are gone like glow suggests and try to reconnect. Your friend's response at that point will probably answer your question.

[Hokuto]

32 minutes ago, glows said:

If that person tends to do that or has a history of doing that then it could be a possibility. Is it worth worrying over? A friend makes an effort to be there in your life or at least you both have some sincerity. You can’t trust this person to get back to you - what loss is it if they walked off the face of the earth? You haven’t lost any friendship that wasn’t there to begin with. 

I think you misread the situation. What happened was, I have not spoken to friend in a month. So yesterday, asked them to FT. They said sure but they have friends visiting, so they'll try and find a time and get back to me. I then suggested we do it later then and they agreed

[glows]

Just now, Hokuto said:

I think you misread the situation. What happened was, I have not spoken to friend in a month. So yesterday, asked them to FT. They said sure but they have friends visiting, so they'll try and find a time and get back to me. I then suggested we do it later then and they agreed

I see. Thanks for clarifying. Check back in a couple of weeks then if you don’t hear from your friend. You have to have some faith. I don’t think there was anything wrong with the response. If you don’t hear from your friend, I’d chalk it up to being busy. It can be exhausting having people stay over.

[Hokuto]

47 minutes ago, glows said:

I see. Thanks for clarifying. Check back in a couple of weeks then if you don’t hear from your friend. You have to have some faith. I don’t think there was anything wrong with the response. If you don’t hear from your friend, I’d chalk it up to being busy. It can be exhausting having people stay over.

Whose response is not wrong, mine?

I mean I know i am being wrong/overthinking but I made this post to be told I am overthinking and just needed to hear it

Edited August 22, 2021 by Hokuto

[Hokuto]

1 hour ago, Acacia98 said:

I get the impression that it's just easier for your friend to talk to you once their other friends leave. It can be hard to make time to do other stuff when you're hosting people. Not because you dont care about other people, but because there are only 24 hours in a day and it's not possible to meet several people's needs all at once.

If your friend has not blown you off before, then it's possible you're being unreasonable. Why not give them the benefit of the doubt and see how things play out? You could reach out once the friends are gone like glow suggests and try to reconnect. Your friend's response at that point will probably answer your question.

First time when we delayed it/they did not get back to me, they told me their mental health was not well but we did eventually

second time, they explained that  my message like others got buried as they were looking to buy stuff and apologized and we talked shortly after

Are those reasonable

[Hokuto]

I admit, when I sometimes see friends making new ones and having fun when they travel or move, I sometimes get insecure about being forgotten. Like I have a friend who I usually contact and they are engaged but when I see them posting with new friends, I feel like "oh man, I bet they reach out to them and all" and it means they are already better friends with them than me, especially when I don't hear from for a while. How do I overcome this insecurity

[Hokuto]

So I have been talking to this girl for a while and I really like them. I followed them on twitter and the other day, saw them tweet this:

"Girls Rock, I love them all"

So it had me questioning/wondering, does it sound like they are bi or maybe LGBT based on this tweet, or am I overthinking/looking too deep into it?

[Ami1uwant]

No….

[Miss Spider]

That says nothing about their sexuality.

[Wiseman2]

6 hours ago, Hokuto said:

,does it sound like they are bi or maybe LGBT based on this tweet.

It doesn't matter. Why? Because if you haven't asked her out you don't know if she's interested in you or not.

You're trying to decipher tealeaves here. However what you don't know is whether she's not interested in guys in general or you in particular.

So rather than stalking twitter accounts, connect one on one through other social media and ask her out.

Better yet get on dating apps and start talking to and meeting real life local women interested in dating men and interested in meeting you.

When your life makes more sense and you are actively and productively pursuing whatever it is you're interested in, you won't have time to stalk and guess at what people's vague generalized posts are about.

[Daisydooks]

I am a very straight woman.  Very. Not even the least bit attracted to women. With that said, I also support and participate in LGBTQ and pride in support of some of my dear friends. So I go all out with clothing, my nails, etc., as a show of support during Pride. I dont think you can gather any info on social media about her sexual preferences because she supports pride or LGBTQ. None of us know if she is straight, but nothing you have shared screams she isnt.  

Edited August 25, 2021 by Daisydooks

[Hokuto]

Well today, I saw her post a pic with her hanging out with a girl and she captioned it "sure call use friends but its really more of a partnership"

does it mean they are seeing someone and LGBT or not?

[Hokuto]

So I have anxiety and rumination over things and I developed a crush on my friend who is long distance. Early, I started feeling insecure and even jealous about if our friendship is close for a bit and then realized I was not being rational. I took a break from them a bit by muting them to try and get over it but when I messaged them and they did not reply for a week, I got paranoid and thought I was being ghosted. I sent them a text asking if everything is fine and they said yes, they are just busy. I did not talk to them for a while after and muted them further to avoid checking their social media but sometimes I get anxious and check but I am trying to limit it as I fear getting jealous or irrational. Do I sound creepy or just overthinking

[Ami1uwant]

1 hour ago, Hokuto said:

So I have anxiety and rumination over things and I developed a crush on my friend who is long distance. Early, I started feeling insecure and even jealous about if our friendship is close for a bit and then realized I was not being rational. I took a break from them a bit by muting them to try and get over it but when I messaged them and they did not reply for a week, I got paranoid and thought I was being ghosted. I sent them a text asking if everything is fine and they said yes, they are just busy. I did not talk to them for a while after and muted them further to avoid checking their social media but sometimes I get anxious and check but I am trying to limit it as I fear getting jealous or irrational. Do I sound creepy or just overthinking

You need to see a professional.

[Hokuto]

19 minutes ago, Ami1uwant said:

You need to see a professional.

I know, I plan to in fall

but is it creepy or not?

[Miss Spider]

Yea it’s kind of creepy because at the very least an unhealthy preoccupation with her sexual orientation manifesting in social media ‘stalking’. Glad you’re seeking help for your problem(s).

Edited August 27, 2021 by Cookiesandough

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, Hokuto said:

I sent them a text asking if everything is fine and they said yes, they are just busy. I did not talk to them for a while after and muted them further to avoid checking their social media but sometimes I get anxious and check

Try to relax an simply await mutual communication.

 Is this the same crush:

 

[Hokuto]

6 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

Yea it’s kind of creepy because at the very least an unhealthy preoccupation with her sexual orientation manifesting in social media ‘stalking’. Glad you’re seeking help for your problem(s).

Yeah, that is my anxiety acting up

is the other stuff bad or just anxiety

also, we plan to catch up but I kinda feel guilty about talking to them if I have been creepy. They do not know but am concerned

Edited August 27, 2021 by Hokuto

[Miss Spider]

Anxiety

[Hokuto]

21 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

Anxiety

Oh, so this isn't creepy just anxiety:

So I have anxiety and rumination over things and I developed a crush on my friend who is long distance. Early, I started feeling insecure and even jealous about if our friendship is close for a bit and then realized I was not being rational. I took a break from them a bit by muting them to try and get over it but when I messaged them and they did not reply for a week, I got paranoid and thought I was being ghosted. I sent them a text asking if everything is fine and they said yes, they are just busy. I did not talk to them for a while after and muted them further to avoid checking their social media but sometimes I get anxious and check but I am trying to limit it as I fear getting jealous or irrational. Do I sound creepy or just overthinking

[Miss Spider]

It sounds like anxiety and irrational and obsessive thoughts 

Edited August 27, 2021 by Cookiesandough

[Hokuto]

Valid but a last thing does the comment I shared they made on insta just mean they are unavailable or is it clearly a joke/metaphor/not serious and I am overthinking it