How to stop feeling insecure/worried when friends aren't in contact

[Hokuto]

1 hour ago, glows said:

Those thoughts eventually fade. Just be patient and stay calm, don't give in to those thoughts. Do you have friends you can talk to and go out with?

Nah, i am on family vacation but I talk to friends online

[basil67]

They clearly support the cause.  They might be LGBT   

[Hokuto]

10 hours ago, basil67 said:

They clearly support the cause.  They might be LGBT   

Does it sound likely or not?

[Wiseman2]

24 minutes ago, Hokuto said:

Does it sound likely or not?

Are you interested in a same sex relationship with them? Or are you scanning social media to try to figure out if someone is available to you?

Edited July 14, 2021 by Wiseman2

[basil67]

31 minutes ago, Hokuto said:

Does it sound likely or not?

Sorry, my crystal ball is broken.  My previous post sums up my best analysis.  

[Hokuto]

So right now I have a crush on someone who is gone for summer and lately I have been anxious/worried they might not be straight/sexualities are incompatible. I find myself overthinking and stressing about it which is super unhealthy and I do not want to waste time on it. How can I stop worrying

[babybrowns]

I am in the same position as you!! But mine is one step further in that we are going on “dates” and I am still not sure if he is gay/ using me as a way to become straight because he’s catholic. Just keep a close eye without trying to not get too close. Ask mutual friends too, if you can/ trust them 

[Wiseman2]

4 minutes ago, babybrowns said:

using me as a way to become straight because he’s catholic. 

If he's asking you out he's interested in women. Is he asking you out?

Hopefully you realize various jurisdictions around the world have passed laws against conversion therapy and banned in 20 US states because it is considered quackery and considered abusive to LGBT individuals.

 

Edited July 17, 2021 by Wiseman2

[Hokuto]

Mine is gone for the summer so any tips to stop worrying

[Hokuto]

I plan to ask them when we talk again but until then how can I stop being anxious 

[Cookiesandough]

Umm so what makes you think that? Do they only eat Caesar salad or something? 

Edited July 18, 2021 by Cookiesandough

[ShyViolet]

Even if they are straight, you don't know if the person would be into you.  Them being straight doesn't guarantee that you'd have a chance with them.  The person is just your "crush".  You're not in a relationship with them.  Stop obsessing over this and just focus on other things.

[mortensorchid]

Is there anyway you can ... Find out?  Short of asking him that is.  I'm sure a friend would know, are there any friends you can ask this of?  Someone has to know something in this area. 

[Fletch Lives]

I'm never ordering Caesar salad again! 😜

[Wiseman2]

16 hours ago, Hokuto said:

I plan to ask them when we talk again but until then how can I stop being anxious 

Why not date people who are into you and whose sexuality is more clear to you?

Seeing someone's social media posts in support of LGBT and having a crush isn't a reason to get anxious .

Are you afraid of dating real life people?

[Hokuto]

2 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Why not date people who are into you and whose sexuality is more clear to you?

Seeing someone's social media posts in support of LGBT and having a crush isn't a reason to get anxious .

Are you afraid of dating real life people?

No where I am, I cannot currently for summer

And what do you mean not feel anxious? Why

[Lotsgoingon]

Worrying about a crush's sexuality ... makes sense. How the heck is that overthinking? I think the right term, "THINKING!" And that's a good thing.

Now, you need to take some action. Only action--including a blunt text or phone call or whatever--can give you the answer you need. Time to bluntly ask any questions you want to ask. And yes, asking the question will give away your interest, but that's fine. People aren't offended. 

[babybrowns]

5 hours ago, Fletch Lives said:

I'm never ordering Caesar salad again! 😜

🤣🤣😝

[smackie9]

Nothing wrong with having a crush on someone that's gay.

[babybrowns]

7 minutes ago, smackie9 said:

Nothing wrong with having a crush on someone that's gay.

Sure there’s not. But having this knowledge is heaps better than hopes building up only to be dashed at the realisation.

[smackie9]

Crush is just a crush. If they are not asking you out on a date by now, you dreams are dashed already. let this be a lesson that you don't invest your feelings unless you are dating.

Edited July 18, 2021 by smackie9

[kendahke]

On 7/17/2021 at 2:45 PM, Hokuto said:

I find myself overthinking and stressing about it which is super unhealthy and I do not want to waste time on it. How can I stop worrying

Are we talking about a male or a female?  There's nothing wrong with them being an ally for LGBTQ; there's nothing wrong if they're gay/lesbian.  Clearly, you and this person aren't that close or friendly if you don't already know this about them.

The only thing you have right now is a crush, and that's not a relationship nor is it your cue to ask them such a personal question.  You are living all of this out in your head from what you've written, they aren't checking for you.

You stop worrying and being anxious by remembering that you and and this person are not a couple and they have yet to express any interest in dating you.  You are allowing your imagination to work yourself up over nothing right now and that is totally within your control to stop. Choose to do so. You're not hapless in all this.

Edited July 18, 2021 by kendahke

[Cookiesandough]

I was forever crushing on gay guys in the past. Not ‘metrosexual’ or fem gay guys but masc gay guys who probably wouldn’t be able to “tell” are gay except for the fact they want to have sex with men only 

Edited July 18, 2021 by Cookiesandough

[Hokuto]

52 minutes ago, kendahke said:

Are we talking about a male or a female?  There's nothing wrong with them being an ally for LGBTQ; there's nothing wrong if they're gay/lesbian.  Clearly, you and this person aren't that close or friendly if you don't already know this about them.

The only thing you have right now is a crush, and that's not a relationship nor is it your cue to ask them such a personal question.  You are living all of this out in your head from what you've written, they aren't checking for you.

You stop worrying and being anxious by remembering that you and and this person are not a couple and they have yet to express any interest in dating you.  You are allowing your imagination to work yourself up over nothing right now and that is totally within your control to stop. Choose to do so. You're not hapless in all this.

Actually we are pretty good friends though and ofc, no issues with that, just worried as I wanted to ask them out come fall

 

easier said than done to get rid of rumination and anxiety

[Hokuto]

So I mentioned before I developed a long distance crush on a good friend of mine. Over the summer/month, it's been messing with me. First, I got worried they didn't respond to me on social media or send messages and when I saw them having fun on social media in their new place, it got me worried/insecure of being forgotten. I have muted them on social media and all to try and get them out of my head and I tried doing new things like learning to draw or gyming 3 times a week. However, I suffer from anxiety/rumination/OCD and the place I am in for summer does not have much to do and I find myself thinking about them a lot despite trying to stop and telling myself its all in my head/anxiety. It also makes me feel like a loser/pathetic as I like someone far away who is living their life and it must make me look like I have nothing going on, which makes me feel worse. I don't want to waste time on this for my youth, so how can I be more productive to end this?