It appears 'Honesty' doesnt work in the Dating World so I need to become a 'Good Liar'

[introverted1]

13 hours ago, IntBrowser said:

Saturday.   I put her on block at 7pm tonight to relieve my mind of it until tomorrow.  

Why on earth did you block her?  How is she supposed to reach you now?

Quote

So that's why when I called I was confident she would answer the phone

Has it occurred to you that maybe she couldn't answer the phone?  She was in the shower or at the store or talking to her child or with a friend or <insert list of other possibilities>.

You said in your other thread that you didn't leave a message so she doesn't even necessarily know if you intended to call her or dialed by accident! Not everyone returns calls just based on the presence of a number in their missed calls list. She may have expected a vm or follow-up text and, when she received neither, assumed there was no need to reach out. 

Honestly, you are your own worst enemy. If you want to actually date and connect with other people, you are going to have to accept that not everyone thinks/behaves as you do and rejecting them and/or becoming bitter as a result doesn't benefit you one bit.

[Gaeta]

13 hours ago, IntBrowser said:

Saturday.   I put her on block at 7pm tonight to relieve my mind of it until tomorrow.   So she maybe contacting me but I dont know because she cant get through.     But you can see how this makes a person not even want to bother going out again when all things was positive.   It appeared that she had a real interest in me.    

No, I don't see what you see. 

You should have left a voice message. If I have a missed call I am not calling back if they have not left a voice message, they could have simply pocket-dialed me. You're a stranger, it's not like she's seeing a missed call from her brother. 

I don't understand why you blocked her because she didn't answer your call. You're playing games & you're passive-aggressive.

You won't know if she had a real interest because you blocked her.  

[Happy Lemming]

18 hours ago, IntBrowser said:

I put her on block at 7pm tonight to relieve my mind of it until tomorrow.  

 

Similar to other posters, I don't understand putting a "block" on her phone number.  If you want to "relieve your mind" engage in some other activity, go for a run, do some work around the house or maybe some spring cleaning...

The only people I block are persistent telemarketers that won't go away. 

I never even block ex-girlfriends, because you never know when they might change their minds about dumping you and want you back.

If I call someone (I am just starting to date), I leave a voicemail message and wait 24 hours for a response.  If I don't get a response after 24 hours, I will leave a second message.  At that point, if the woman does not return my call, I'll assume she is not going to and I'll head out and find her replacement.

[IntBrowser]

10 hours ago, introverted1 said:

Why on earth did you block her?  How is she supposed to reach you now?

Has it occurred to you that maybe she couldn't answer the phone?  She was in the shower or at the store or talking to her child or with a friend or <insert list of other possibilities>.

You said in your other thread that you didn't leave a message so she doesn't even necessarily know if you intended to call her or dialed by accident! Not everyone returns calls just based on the presence of a number in their missed calls list. She may have expected a vm or follow-up text and, when she received neither, assumed there was no need to reach out. 

Honestly, you are your own worst enemy. If you want to actually date and connect with other people, you are going to have to accept that not everyone thinks/behaves as you do and rejecting them and/or becoming bitter as a result doesn't benefit you one bit.

Enough with all that, that was monday night at 7pm, today is wednesday.         Its been so long since I had a 2nd date I forgot what happens when she does want to see me again lol

 

I do remember 2 years ago she asked after dinner..........What else do you want to do?     But I can't think about what happened when the other dates went well.    Not sure if we talked the same night or the next date

[IntBrowser]

10 hours ago, introverted1 said:

Why on earth did you block her?  How is she supposed to reach you now?

Has it occurred to you that maybe she couldn't answer the phone?  She was in the shower or at the store or talking to her child or with a friend or <insert list of other possibilities>.

You said in your other thread that you didn't leave a message so she doesn't even necessarily know if you intended to call her or dialed by accident! Not everyone returns calls just based on the presence of a number in their missed calls list. She may have expected a vm or follow-up text and, when she received neither, assumed there was no need to reach out. 

Honestly, you are your own worst enemy. If you want to actually date and connect with other people, you are going to have to accept that not everyone thinks/behaves as you do and rejecting them and/or becoming bitter as a result doesn't benefit you one bit.

when I block a person they can still text and call me which I didnt know until after 7 years.    If they call the voicemail comes right on and if they send a text it goes to a different folder

[IntBrowser]

9 hours ago, Gaeta said:

No, I don't see what you see. 

You should have left a voice message. If I have a missed call I am not calling back if they have not left a voice message, they could have simply pocket-dialed me. You're a stranger, it's not like she's seeing a missed call from her brother. 

I don't understand why you blocked her because she didn't answer your call. You're playing games & you're passive-aggressive.

You won't know if she had a real interest because you blocked her.  

so if u saw the guy called u wouldnt call back because he didnt leave a message?

[IntBrowser]

5 hours ago, Happy Lemming said:

Similar to other posters, I don't understand putting a "block" on her phone number.  If you want to "relieve your mind" engage in some other activity, go for a run, do some work around the house or maybe some spring cleaning...

The only people I block are persistent telemarketers that won't go away. 

I never even block ex-girlfriends, because you never know when they might change their minds about dumping you and want you back.

If I call someone (I am just starting to date), I leave a voicemail message and wait 24 hours for a response.  If I don't get a response after 24 hours, I will leave a second message.  At that point, if the woman does not return my call, I'll assume she is not going to and I'll head out and find her replacement.

we had some type of communication everyday before we met whether it was text or phone.    So the fact that she sent no text on sunday after me texting her saturday or answering my call and not returning my call on monday, it was no need to leave a message because it was clear the  ghosting was in full effect

[Miss Spider]

So if she ghosted what is your need to block her? Doesn’t that mean the communication is over. I was just blocked , so inquiring minds want to know

[Gaeta]

8 hours ago, IntBrowser said:

so if u saw the guy called u wouldnt call back because he didnt leave a message?

No l would not. 

if he doesn't leave a message l assume he plans on calling back. maybe he got distracted, maybe a more important call came in while dialing me. No voice means he will call back.

Did you unblock her?

Edited May 13, 2021 by Gaeta

[Gaeta]

8 hours ago, IntBrowser said:

we had some type of communication everyday before we met.

Before meeting doesn't count. When we meet face to face the chrono is turned back to 0. 

After we meet and attraction on both side is confirmed the dynamic changes. That texting several times daily is often not sustainable. It's not meant to last past meeting. 

[Happy Lemming]

9 hours ago, Cookiesandough said:

So if she ghosted what is your need to block her? Doesn’t that mean the communication is over. I was just blocked , so inquiring minds want to know

I don't understand the whole "blocking" thing either...  If an ex-girlfriend was calling me 20 times a day, then maybe I'd block her, but other than that, nope I wouldn't block her.

[elaine567]

 I guess he blocked her quickly in case he had to hear another rejection...

[Miss Spider]

1 hour ago, Happy Lemming said:

I don't understand the whole "blocking" thing either...  If an ex-girlfriend was calling me 20 times a day, then maybe I'd block her, but other than that, nope I wouldn't block her.

Yep the only reason I’d block is if they were a communication gnat 

Edited May 13, 2021 by Cookiesandough

[ZA Dater]

Well, at least there is someone else here who agrees with me . Frankly I have been around long enough and see enough to know that honestly most definitely does not win over people, especially not when there is someone with a glamorous lie ready to spin that BS and equally someone else ready to be bowled over by it.

Live your life how yo want to based on your own moral values, that is the only advice I can advocate. Unfortunately in most respects the power of choice does not rest with men so I do not begrudge those who can spin amazing stories to win out in dating.

Keep your head up, smile and make dating the smallest part of your overall life and maybe life will be more pleasant. 

And PS who really cares about cooking skills. 

[Gaeta]

3 minutes ago, ZA Dater said:

Live your life how yo want to based on your own moral values

Wrong mind set. 

Our own moral values means nothing. IntBrowser own moral values tells him it's ok to text a mother of 2 at midnight. Being in a relationship is not about *us* it's about 2 people. It's about compromise, consideration, understanding, patience toward the other. 

[Happy Lemming]

5 hours ago, elaine567 said:

 I guess he blocked her quickly in case he had to hear another rejection...

Wouldn't it be better to know (you were being rejected) than "Guess" a rejection might be coming??

Personally, I'd rather hear a straight up rejection (rip the band-aid off) as opposed to not knowing because I blocked her number.  I don't really care about the reason for the rejection (or dumping), but I would want to know it has occurred.

I'd want to know whether to "NEXT" her or plan date number 2??