It appears 'Honesty' doesnt work in the Dating World so I need to become a 'Good Liar'

[Happy Lemming]

2 hours ago, Ami1uwant said:

 

talking to neighbors is like talking to your coworkers.....these are not the same as meeting someone you’d date.

I knew my co-workers (when I worked).  I did not know this woman (at all), she is not a neighbor (from my street) and was just on her morning walk.

I've proven my point (with clear examples) that any man can approach a woman in a public venue and get her number or ask her out on a date.  It is possible for the OP to approach women in (public venues) and obtain a phone number/ask them out. 

I met my present girlfriend in a pool.  I swam up to her, introduced myself, chit-chatted a bit and asked her out for drinks later that night.  

[IntBrowser]

Well I had another match this morning and things have been flowing very nicely.   I keep things upbeat and fun and after chatting on tinder for 2 hours we exchange numbers and now are going to plan a face to face meet.    I didnt ask a lot of questions this time, it was basically me complimenting and making a lot of statements which allowed the convo to flow and I stayed away from Work discussions.    Just the schedule and field and moved back to activity talk.   So I may have another day this weekend or before

[Happy Lemming]

When you meet (in person) have some conversation starters in the back of your mind, just in case things start to go flat.  Funniest camping trip, best birthday, favorite beach, vacation stories, etc.  Fun Stuff like that... hopefully that will spark some natural conversation flow.

Good Luck... keep us updated.

[Gaeta]

If she offers Saturday 11 a.m. say YES

If she offers Sunday say YES

🙂

 

[IntBrowser]

30 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said:

When you meet (in person) have some conversation starters in the back of your mind, just in case things start to go flat.  Funniest camping trip, best birthday, favorite beach, vacation stories, etc.  Fun Stuff like that... hopefully that will spark some natural conversation flow.

Good Luck... keep us updated.

That's what I was doing on tinder, talking about that type of stuff instead of the question format which kills everything

 

What are you looking for

what do you do for a living

what is your favorite food

 

 

LOL

[IntBrowser]

1 minute ago, Gaeta said:

If she offers Saturday 11 a.m. say YES

If she offers Sunday say YES

🙂

 

I wont be going to dinner with my mom on saturday until 7:30pm so I could see myself agreeing to that

[SumGuy]

1 hour ago, IntBrowser said:

...What are you looking for

what do you do for a living

what is your favorite food....

I prefer, just to get the three basic questions out front...

What is your quest in life?

What is your favorite color?

What is the airspeed of an unladen swallow?

[Ami1uwant]

14 hours ago, Happy Lemming said:

I knew my co-workers (when I worked).  I did not know this woman (at all), she is not a neighbor (from my street) and was just on her morning walk.

I've proven my point (with clear examples) that any man can approach a woman in a public venue and get her number or ask her out on a date.  It is possible for the OP to approach women in (public venues) and obtain a phone number/ask them out. 

I met my present girlfriend in a pool.  I swam up to her, introduced myself, chit-chatted a bit and asked her out for drinks later that night.  

no you haven’t.  
 

you need something to spark a conversation with someone you might now know......

 

1. coworkers are in the same work environment so you can easily talk to them about work. Their is an implicit understanding that you aren’t trying to date your coworkers.

2.  it might be easier to date your neighbors but still you usually need something to spark a conversation such as a police car or ambulance down the street or youare active in community meetings snd duch. It’s natural to communicate with your immediate neighbors snd expected. There is not the expectation of dating you.

 

3. like I said walking around a city park if you have dogs or kids they can spark a conversation.  If you are both single parents and have kids around the same age the kids might know each other or they meet at the community playground or both of you are involved in PTS. The situations spark a conversation.

 

  In general if you have something that can spark a conversation with you and someone you don’t know something can happen.  You trying to spark the conversation on your own for the sole purpose of dating this person just does not work unless you have too 10% in looks because then you can get attention.  
 

From my personal experience I have had better luck in meeting people I gradually get to know like you regularly go to a store or coffee show around the same time. Since you recognize each other it can thaw the ice.  
 

I don’t have a problem talking to others if there is a reason to talk.  

 

 

[Happy Lemming]

6 minutes ago, Ami1uwant said:

no you haven’t.  
you need something to spark a conversation with someone you might now know......

 

I get the impression you just want to argue because you either don't have the ability to spark a conversation or the opposite sex doesn't want to talk to you (for whatever reason).

I started my conversation with the woman walking down the street with a "Good Morning" and asked "How she was doing with the Pandemic, did she make it through this mess OK?" And she continued with her story of getting vaccinated, which sparked my story and things continued from there.  It was quite easy and the conversation just flowed.  Some women enjoy the attention of men (when they are approached) and know how to flirt to keep that man's attention.

I've met women at all different locations and acquired their phone number and dated them.  Some places include check out lines, parties, sporting events, in the bank, college, pubs/bars, used book stores, etc.  I met one woman at a used computer parts show.  She was quite intelligent and fun to be around.

I just use the situation or environment as the genesis to initiate the conversation.  If I get the impression, the woman doesn't want to talk, I back off.

For the record, I never dated a co-worker and never would.  I don't fish off the company pier.

[d0nnivain]

1 hour ago, Ami1uwant said:

  In general if you have something that can spark a conversation with you and someone you don’t know something can happen.  You trying to spark the conversation on your own for the sole purpose of dating this person just does not work unless you have too 10% in looks because then you can get attention.  

Some people are simply gregarious & social.  They can talk to anybody, any time, any where about anything.  They are not necessarily in the top 10% of looks.  Beautiful people have little need for conversational skills.  The average person has to have something going on.  

[IntBrowser]

5 hours ago, Gaeta said:

If she offers Saturday 11 a.m. say YES

If she offers Sunday say YES

🙂

 

she offered saturday but time wasnt discusssed yet.   will do that later or tomorrow

[Gaeta]

29 minutes ago, IntBrowser said:

she offered saturday but time wasnt discusssed yet.   will do that later or tomorrow

Why was that not discussed yet? It's your job to book that date asap! If you don't someone else will. Be pro-active. YOU already know you have a family dinner at 7h30 pm. Tell her you have a family thing in the evening so you're free from noon to 5pm. 

Edited May 5, 2021 by Gaeta

[norealusername]

Good luck dude. Don't mention your sleep schedule at all to her....lol.

[Gaeta]

7 minutes ago, norealusername said:

Good luck dude. Don't mention your sleep schedule at all to her....lol.

...or the gambling

[IntBrowser]

5 hours ago, Gaeta said:

Why was that not discussed yet? It's your job to book that date asap! If you don't someone else will. Be pro-active. YOU already know you have a family dinner at 7h30 pm. Tell her you have a family thing in the evening so you're free from noon to 5pm. 

She was on her way out with friends and called me to touch base briefly.  So we will discuss tomorrow it looks like.       It will be brunch but the place and time wasn't confirmed.    We were in the process of discussing what area and that's when she had to cut the convo short

[IntBrowser]

5 hours ago, Gaeta said:

Why was that not discussed yet? It's your job to book that date asap! If you don't someone else will. Be pro-active. YOU already know you have a family dinner at 7h30 pm. Tell her you have a family thing in the evening so you're free from noon to 5pm. 

I told her that, my moms dinner is at 7pm so we can meet  for brunch.   Tomorrow is thursday so atleast we know the day and time just not the place yet

[elaine567]

As an older never married single guy you may be accused of being a Mommy's boy.
So why have you arranged to have dinner this week (when you have a potential date), with your mother on Saturday night which is prime dating time?
You are prioritising your mother and squeezing your potential date into  "brunch".

Of course if this is a special dinner with your mother or it has been arranged for a long time, then of course you must go on a Saturday night, but if it is just a run of the mill thing then maybe next time you think ahead and leave Sat nights for actual dates.
Why did she have to cut the convo short before you had arranged a place and time?
Did she seem OK with "brunch"?

[hippychick3]

3 hours ago, elaine567 said:

As an older never married single guy you may be accused of being a Mommy's boy.
So why have you arranged to have dinner this week (when you have a potential date), with your mother on Saturday night which is prime dating time?
You are prioritising your mother and squeezing your potential date into  "brunch".

Of course if this is a special dinner with your mother or it has been arranged for a long time, then of course you must go on a Saturday night, but if it is just a run of the mill thing then maybe next time you think ahead and leave Sat nights for actual dates.
Why did she have to cut the convo short before you had arranged a place and time?
Did she seem OK with "brunch"?

Given this is just a first date/meet up, I think that brunch is fine. The next date should definitely be a dinner though (on a weekend night). 

[cleverusername]

1 hour ago, hippychick3 said:

Given this is just a first date/meet up, I think that brunch is fine. The next date should definitely be a dinner though (on a weekend night). 

Why? Dinner dates are stuffy and boring in the early stages, IMO 1 on 1 dinner dates should not be happening in the first few dates unless it involves an activity (not sex) before or after

[hippychick3]

17 minutes ago, cleverusername said:

Why? Dinner dates are stuffy and boring in the early stages, IMO 1 on 1 dinner dates should not be happening in the first few dates unless it involves an activity (not sex) before or after

My best dinner dates were never stuffy or boring. My first dinner date with current partner was 6 hours of FUN conversation and drinks. No one said a dinner date has to be at an upscale, fancy restaurant (I would personally not even want that for the first few dates). But a dinner date at a “casual restaurant” is a good way to get to know each other and have a great conversation. 

[Happy Lemming]

6 hours ago, elaine567 said:

Of course if this is a special dinner with your mother or it has been arranged for a long time, then of course you must go on a Saturday night...

Sunday is mother's day, maybe this is his "Mother's Day" dinner with his mom (a day early).

[IntBrowser]

9 hours ago, elaine567 said:

As an older never married single guy you may be accused of being a Mommy's boy.
So why have you arranged to have dinner this week (when you have a potential date), with your mother on Saturday night which is prime dating time?
You are prioritising your mother and squeezing your potential date into  "brunch".

Of course if this is a special dinner with your mother or it has been arranged for a long time, then of course you must go on a Saturday night, but if it is just a run of the mill thing then maybe next time you think ahead and leave Sat nights for actual dates.
Why did she have to cut the convo short before you had arranged a place and time?
Did she seem OK with "brunch"?

The plan was made with my mom last weekend  before I had any matches.    So of course I wasnt expecting a match this week and clicking so fast where we were going to meet this weekend.    

[IntBrowser]

9 hours ago, elaine567 said:

As an older never married single guy you may be accused of being a Mommy's boy.
So why have you arranged to have dinner this week (when you have a potential date), with your mother on Saturday night which is prime dating time?
You are prioritising your mother and squeezing your potential date into  "brunch".

Of course if this is a special dinner with your mother or it has been arranged for a long time, then of course you must go on a Saturday night, but if it is just a run of the mill thing then maybe next time you think ahead and leave Sat nights for actual dates.
Why did she have to cut the convo short before you had arranged a place and time?
Did she seem OK with "brunch"?

My mom never liked going out on mothers day always the day before

[IntBrowser]

9 hours ago, elaine567 said:

As an older never married single guy you may be accused of being a Mommy's boy.
So why have you arranged to have dinner this week (when you have a potential date), with your mother on Saturday night which is prime dating time?
You are prioritising your mother and squeezing your potential date into  "brunch".

Of course if this is a special dinner with your mother or it has been arranged for a long time, then of course you must go on a Saturday night, but if it is just a run of the mill thing then maybe next time you think ahead and leave Sat nights for actual dates.
Why did she have to cut the convo short before you had arranged a place and time?
Did she seem OK with "brunch"?

Yes she is ok with brunch and I told her I will come out to her area but we havent decided on a place yet.   Im guessing we will do that today or tomorrow. 

[IntBrowser]

On 5/5/2021 at 5:42 PM, Gaeta said:

Why was that not discussed yet? It's your job to book that date asap! If you don't someone else will. Be pro-active. YOU already know you have a family dinner at 7h30 pm. Tell her you have a family thing in the evening so you're free from noon to 5pm. 

Saturday at 1:30pm