I sent pictures of someone else to a girl who has now fallen in love with me and wants to meet me in person

[basil67]

51 minutes ago, thomas131313 said:

 she said even she wants to get me her pregnant to lock her down

This has gone on for quite long enough.  Giving you a chance after you lied for so long was nuts.  Sending those tedious texts is nuts.  Wanting you to make her pregnant is frightening.   If you continue with her, you are a fool. 

[thomas131313]

What I dont understand is she literally said that the night i was in her bed and was willing for me to do it and she even said this was her fertile day and then she talks about all this other stuff today. why would she do that? i dont think she wants me to be with her romantically now its just that the night that i was there she was talking about doing that

[BaileyB]

Oh my goodness, this is till going on and it’s taken another left turn... 😜

[basil67]

3 minutes ago, thomas131313 said:

i told her today if i was the guy in the pictures and my face would have gotten burned off she would have still left me. 

 

You still don't have the concept of the problem not being your face but that you deliberately deceived her 😕

[basil67]

15 hours ago, thomas131313 said:

What I dont understand is she literally said that the night i was in her bed and was willing for me to do it and she even said this was her fertile day and then she talks about all this other stuff today. why would she do that?

Because she's unhinged.

[thomas131313]

she is not rejecting me because i lied to her you are wrong here

[Backinthesaddleagain]

I think I am going to take your posts with all the text dialogue and write some songs with them. Some great stuff in there. 

 

[preraph]

You can't say she didn't try.  

 

This is a cautionary tale to all long-distance romances, I'm afraid.  I know there was catfishing in this one, but it turns out this same way often enough even with the right photo.  Things just aren't the same in person where you get the whole person.  I truly hope both of you have the sense to cut ties and not keep hanging onto what is a pretty sick relationship at this point.  

[preraph]

Good for her.  I can't believe you are calling HER shallow when you're the one who was so shallow you sent a fake photo so you could get the interest of a better looking woman.  That's you being shallow.  She has tried her best to adjust to the real you and it's not working on any level and now she is finally really angry. 

[basil67]

1 hour ago, Backinthesaddleagain said:

I think I am going to take your posts with all the text dialogue and write some songs with them. Some great stuff in there. 

 

There's some great Lily Allen lyrics going on right now....

[Cookiesandough]

Sounds like she’s not attracted to you. Maybe next time do not catfish people. Be yourself and attract people who are attracted to you. 

[preraph]

Not only is she not attracted to him physically, she doesn't like how he acts at all either.  

[basil67]

Forgive me if you've already said this and I missed it.....but did you tell her upfront that you have physical limitations?    Because it sounds like that threw for a loop too. 

[Tristian]

Out of concern for the privacy of the other party, direct copies of text messages that were intended to be private have been removed.

While I've done my best to maintain continuity wherever possible some posts may seem out of context due to the removed content.

[LynneVicious]

Op, it sounds like she tried hard to like you even though you lied to her for months and months. She tried to look past the “looks” and get to know the real you, but it seems you continually lie to her and more And more of ‘the real you’, she doesn’t like. 
 

You can’t get mad at rhat. She sounds like she was confused when she first found out about the catfishing, and was trying, and now she’s mad because there are other incompatibilities or things you omitted. 
 

Seriously, let her go. Next time, don’t catfish. You wasted 6 months of yours and her time and life. 

[thomas131313]

the main factor here is that she is not attracted to me physically, if she was we would be together 100 percent. before the text messages were removed i dont know if people saw the latest ones i put on here but she still doesnt know what to do and said shes stuck in the middle of not being able to let go of me romantically and also not being able to hold on due to other reasons and she talks about us being together romantically in the future after were both healed. and also I did not lie to her anymore after the lie was out of the bag. i did tell her about my health issues before hand even months ago before she found out about the lie but i guess i didnt tell her to what extent it affected me in everyday life. she did know that i was having some challenges and wasnt feeling that great alot of the time she just didnt know how badly i guess.

all this bs about things i omitted, no the main issue here is looks and thats why i call her shallow and we talked about her being shallow yesterday because if i was more attractive she WOULD want to be with me despite all the lies for 5 months. its not the lies that is the deciding factor its the LOOKS its the physical connection. its not that she doesnt like the real me, its that the real me looks different than the person she fell in love with guys come on now. also the circumstances were extremely weird because we were so open and comfortable with eachother for 5 months its also hard to go back to basics of normal dating and start from that way its almost as if you were married you would be comfortable about everything and the night i spent at her place the other day i was almost too comfortable. of course there are many factors im not saying its only the looks, but its the deciding one in this situation. she did try to look past the looks but there is maybe nothing i could have done different. the erection problems im having too didnt help either

[Cookiesandough]

“Her being shallow” Are you srs, man??? You catfished her!!!

Edited June 9, 2020 by Cookiesandough

[thomas131313]

she also mentioned that she was looking at her part in this and with the social distancing thing she wasnt touched physically in months and she wasnt touched sexually for along time so that could be part of the reason she felt uncomfortable

[Yosemite]

I read the texts, it sounds like you went there the first time with barely any grooming or hygiene at all, then the next time you got sick (vomited?), at some point you told her straight to her face that you rate her a 5-7, you can't get perform intimately and you've tried several times, you say negative things about her to her, you move slowly (because you're obese? Idk just guessing), you called her shallow, you won't kiss her or touch her...and the "relationship" started with you catfishing her. This whole thing is insane. At least it seems like she's finally putting an end to it.

You want the rejection to be because of your looks so that you can absolve yourself of all responsibility and don't have to look within and make major changes. But, not even you can blame your looks because she gave you chance after chance after she discovered your catfishing and even tried several times to have sex with you...so obviously it's your real life personality and your other issues that are the main problems, not your looks.

[Cookiesandough]

Wow. I couldn’t understand half of the stuff that was written. But that’s crazy if so. Consider who is  really the shallow one....you used someone else’s identity 

[Fox Sake]

24 minutes ago, Yosemite said:

I read the texts, it sounds like you went there the first time with barely any grooming or hygiene at all, then the next time you got sick (vomited?), at some point you told her straight to her face that you rate her a 5-7, you can't get perform intimately and you've tried several times, you say negative things about her to her, you move slowly (because you're obese? Idk just guessing), you called her shallow, you won't kiss her or touch her...and the "relationship" started with you catfishing her. This whole thing is insane. At least it seems like she's finally putting an end to it.

You want the rejection to be because of your looks so that you can absolve yourself of all responsibility and don't have to look within and make major changes. But, not even you can blame your looks because she gave you chance after chance after she discovered your catfishing and even tried several times to have sex with you...so obviously it's your real life personality and your other issues that are the main problems, not your looks.

Very well put. It honestly sounds like all this advice to help himself is falling on deaf ears. He’s now turning the situation to make himself feel like he did the right thing. Which is wrong. 
 

I’ve come up with a few simple steps to help relieve people in this thread. 
 

1. Find a brick wall. 

2. Bang head off brick wall.

Edited June 9, 2020 by Fox Sake
Dyslexic phone ...and brain

[preraph]

No.  She said herself that even if you had looked like that guy, now that she's been with you, she doesn't like the way you act and are.  

[thomas131313]

well like i said she said she wasnt sexually attracted to me and she was giving me a chance this is literally what she said. what i am saying is no matter what i did it might not have mattered. its a tricky one to know forsure, these things i did didnt help the situation but had they have gone better it might not have changed anything. how is she just going to be magically sexually attracted to me? she did say yesterday she has given me so many chances so this is true but she didnt feel it for a few reasons and the way i look is one of them. of course no matter who it is until you get the full person and you spend time with them in person you can never know how its going to go. how can she really not like the way i act and am when i was that way for 5 months? its going from how comfortable we were with eachother to the basics of everyday dating it was confusing to go back to that after how we were together

[thomas131313]

she associates things with how i act and am as bad in person because she doesnt find me attractive. if i was the guy she thought i was and i acted that way she would have laughed. i had a sexual dream when i was at her place and i told her about it and she wasnt happy cause when she asked if i want to clean it from my pants i said no.  if i was the other guy she would have laughed. i ate chicken with out a fork and she asked me if i wanted one and she got offended when i ate it with my hand and lots of other things. you think these things would have mattered if i was the other guy? if someone is very good looking they are all of a sudden seen as 'good' whereas with me these things i did i person with her were seen as 'bad' due to my face.

 

when i got sick at her place no i didnt vomit but i got sick and went into her bed and then she kissed me on the cheek when i was laying there. do you think she would have acted that way and been weird about it the next day when she was talking to me about everything if i was the other guy? about how i got sick and had to go in her bed. no of course not. its possible that what she said is true im not sure and even if i was the other guy she wouldnt have liked how i was or acted with her in person, but she would have put up with it at the very least and not cared as much. face the facts. even before she found out about the lie i told her that i was sick or feeling really bad one day and she was offering to help me and come stay at her place for weeks and take care of me and so on but once she knows i have a different face its a whole new ball game and im not saying thats not how it should be but what i am saying stop throwing this around in other directions.

 

she was nice enough to give me a chance and i did blow it but people here just dont want to admit the truth that looks trumps everything and while i could have done better with my actions and this would have given me a better chance that wasnt the main problem. she even said when we talked on the phone the day after i stayed at her place that the physical connection for a life time isint enough for her. she gave me a chance but she also really wanted it to be me due to everything we talked about for 5 months. she wanted it to be me for herself cause of everything she gave me and im not talking about the dirty pictures but more that she gave me her soul for 5 months so she really wanted it to work with me romantically and still does. that is the reason the night i stayed at her place she talked about me locking her down and getting her pregnant and not using a condom right there in the moment because its as if a part of her wants it to be me even when she knew at the time when i was in her bed that she wasnt feeling it physically and wasnt attracted to me. it was also her most fertile day as she tracks that too. thats the interesting thing had i been able to perform sexually that night who knows what would have happened

[Backinthesaddleagain]

8 minutes ago, thomas131313 said:

...people here just dont want to admit the truth that looks trumps everything and while i could have done better with my actions and this would have given me a better chance that wasnt the main problem...

Well Catfish, you seem to still be focused on the looks thing. Its not about looks, as much as it is about how attractive someone else finds you. My guess is that you have HORRIBLE self-esteem, and you seem to have other mental issues as well. I am not sure how this thread is still going, the mods could have closed it days ago and saved people the trouble of posting things you won't read or listen to.

This girl you met seems to either have A LOT of patience, or she is mentally unstable as well. Maybe you could convince her to go to couples counseling so you can help her understand your lies and work through her shallowness! Or, call up Dr. Phil and then you guys can get 15 minutes of fame whilst you try to convince her to stay with you.