I sent pictures of someone else to a girl who has now fallen in love with me and wants to meet me in person

[thomas131313]

people can say what they want, but at the end of the day she could have left at any time earlier on. she blames me now because she said she gave me all these chances to not talk to her way earlier on but she could have left too. the claim that i made her stay from her and others doesnt make sense to me. she fell in love so she couldnt or didnt want to lose me and so on but she said yesterday i think that when a good looking guy is messaging you you feel attracted and want to do something with it

[basil67]

Have you told her that you are partially blaming her for this situation?  If not, I highly suggest you do.  

[Calmandfocused]

And after 17 pages you disclose your true colours. Your posts drip with disrespect towards this lady. Also, it’s evident that you consistently lack responsibility for your actions. 
 

I’m glad this lady doesn’t fancy you. She deserves better than the way you talk about her. 

lack of empathy, self entitlement, lack of responsibility (blaming everyone else), and disrespect are classic traits of narcissism. I thought  it might be helpful for you to know that. 

[balletomane]

You could have told her the truth at any point. In this thread you have spilled out thousands of words excusing and justifying your decision to keep on being deceitful. If you can convince yourself that it's OK to keep up a lie, why should it surprise you that she convinced herself to stay? She obviously has emotional problems, like you, but unlike you hers have not led her to make fake profiles and lie to people. You've both acted in an emotionally immature way, but you are the one who lied and acted unethically. How is it you can find endless excuses for your own much worse behaviour and choices, while questioning hers?

You mentioned reading similar stories on Reddit, so if this whole tale is to be believed, you are spending all your waking hours either talking to this woman, posting about her on relationship forums, or else reading relationship forums. You have built an entire life around this obsessive lie. It's not her job to fix that for you. You need to take steps to clear up this mess.

[preraph]

1 hour ago, thomas131313 said:

well like 99 percent of girls wouldnt have done this so theres that

More than 99% of men wouldn't have pulled this fraud. It's you that's at fault. 

[preraph]

I think you need to either date in person if she will or just stop. the only way you're going to find out if you can tolerate each other in person is to date in person so there's no room for fantasizing.trouble is it sounds like she's still trying to keep this a secret from her family we're not going to respect her if she continues to talk to you. 

[thomas131313]

16 minutes ago, balletomane said:

You could have told her the truth at any point. In this thread you have spilled out thousands of words excusing and justifying your decision to keep on being deceitful. If you can convince yourself that it's OK to keep up a lie, why should it surprise you that she convinced herself to stay? She obviously has emotional problems, like you, but unlike you hers have not led her to make fake profiles and lie to people. You've both acted in an emotionally immature way, but you are the one who lied and acted unethically. How is it you can find endless excuses for your own much worse behaviour and choices, while questioning hers?

You mentioned reading similar stories on Reddit, so if this whole tale is to be believed, you are spending all your waking hours either talking to this woman, posting about her on relationship forums, or else reading relationship forums. You have built an entire life around this obsessive lie. It's not her job to fix that for you. You need to take steps to clear up this mess.

well its good that the lie is over now because she even said the other day atleast theres less stuff on my back since i dont have to lie anymore

[thomas131313]

14 minutes ago, preraph said:

I think you need to either date in person if she will or just stop. the only way you're going to find out if you can tolerate each other in person is to date in person so there's no room for fantasizing.trouble is it sounds like she's still trying to keep this a secret from her family we're not going to respect her if she continues to talk to you. 

well her mom did ask her if she thinks she can be with me. also one of her friends asked her this too. i dont know if her family knows if were talking or not, but her family doesnt know that we met. im guessing actually her family doesnt know were talking either since some of them told her to start dating again too

Edited May 23, 2020 by thomas131313

[preraph]

I'm sure they're just really curious to know if she's done with you or not. I'm sure they strongly prefer that she is done with you. 

[The Outlaw]

You should strongly consider just letting this go. Holding onto it as you have isn't healthy for either one of you. But like I said the other day, consider it a lesson learned and next time be honest and upfront with the next girl and refrain from sending her a picture that just isn't you. As they say, you've made a mountain out of a mole hill. 

[healing light]

You are sounding like a sociopath in different parts of this thread. Justifying that you should continue the lie because it's meeting your emotional needs, asking other posters why they are looking at it from her vantage point when you're getting something out of it.

And then that she should have known and just assumed you were a liar? That using someone else's profile pics is par for the course, as if it's completely normal, and she was just too dumb to figure that out so this whole mess is on her? 

Either you're sociopathic or a master at spinning narratives in your mind to evade responsibility. I'd recommend therapy for you but if it's the former, there's not much one can do to instill a conscience in someone. I'm not convinced that you care about any of the pain that you have caused this woman outside of the inconvenience it is posing to you.

[thomas131313]

Just now, healing light said:

You are sounding like a sociopath in different parts of this thread. Justifying that you should continue the lie because it's meeting your emotional needs, asking other posters why they are looking at it from her vantage point when you're getting something out of it.

And then that she should have known and just assumed you were a liar? That using someone else's profile pics is par for the course, as if it's completely normal, and she was just too dumb to figure that out so this whole mess is on her? 

Either you're sociopathic or a master at spinning narratives in your mind to evade responsibility. I'd recommend therapy for you but if it's the former, there's not much one can do to instill a conscience in someone. I'm not convinced that you care about any of the pain that you have caused this woman outside of the inconvenience it is posing to you.

well I would have rather not caused her pain but the truth is i didnt know it would ever turn into this and then the lie got to far and i couldnt go back. I made a mistake but so did she

[preraph]

You didn't make a mistake. You intentionally tricked her. Her culpability is in no way equal to yours or even close. You conned her. You committed fraud on her.

[thomas131313]

i didnt talk to her for most of the day and then she texted me and were talking again. its almost as if nothing changed but everything has. she says she still loves me and feels like she needs to protect me

[basil67]

Protect you from what?  

[thomas131313]

I dont know she has said that a few times, she said it the other day too

[ExpatInItaly]

I don't even think this woman has any clue what she is saying anymore, either. 

 

[Emilie Jolie]

1 hour ago, thomas131313 said:

i didnt talk to her for most of the day and then she texted me and were talking again. its almost as if nothing changed but everything has. she says she still loves me and feels like she needs to protect me

I can't read further than this. I'm finding this situation deeply disturbing from every angle, and hope this woman is surrounded by people who have her welfare and mental health at heart when this thing goes sideways. Which it will. 

 

[ExpatInItaly]

18 minutes ago, Emilie Jolie said:

I can't read further than this. I'm finding this situation deeply disturbing from every angle, and hope this woman is surrounded by people who have her welfare and mental health at heart when this thing goes sideways. Which it will. 

 

I suspect she probably does, given that she apparently hasn't told them that she met him. A mature and emotionally-sound adult generally wouldn't feel compelled to hide things from her family, so I would wager that they know she's not well and would indeed intervene if they knew the whole story. She's hiding it for a reason, because she knows they will try to keep her away from OP. 

And yes, I agree it will go sideways. It already is. 

[thomas131313]

29 minutes ago, Emilie Jolie said:

I can't read further than this. I'm finding this situation deeply disturbing from every angle, and hope this woman is surrounded by people who have her welfare and mental health at heart when this thing goes sideways. Which it will. 

 

well things have obviously changed. im just saying she still feels certain things

[Emilie Jolie]

15 minutes ago, thomas131313 said:

well things have obviously changed. im just saying she still feels certain things

Do you have your own support system, thomas? Sounds like you're spending an inordinate amount of time on this one person while you have your own health issues going on, as well as self-esteem issues. 

[preraph]

Maybe she means protecting you from the action her parents may be taking or the man whose identity you stole. 

[thomas131313]

12 hours ago, Emilie Jolie said:

Do you have your own support system, thomas? Sounds like you're spending an inordinate amount of time on this one person while you have your own health issues going on, as well as self-esteem issues. 

Well i talked to her for 5 months so i was thinking of her alot and im still thinking of her. yesterday she said its one of her family members birthday today so lets see what happens with that shes going to be seeing family

[thomas131313]

she said she is feeling a bit better now. well i think she might want to be with me maybe not sure whats going to happen.

{CONTENT OF PRIVATE TEXT MESSAGE REMOVED}

 

Edited June 9, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
PRIVACY

[thomas131313]

shes still being sexual with me and stuff. is she just running me around in circles here or what. also one of her close friends said that she would accept her choice if she decided to be with me even if i did a bad thing so i think they must know that shes talking to me