I don't know how to get out of this gigantic hole I've dug myself

[Tearsdontfall7]

LOL.

 

Sunshine $200k isn’t sh*t. You reek of “new money” and arrogance and it’s not a good look on anyone.

 

 

Did you read the last 2 paragraphs? More money isn't gonna help me

 

And I'm a very good person regardless of what I earn. My biggest motivating force to become rich is to take care of my future family and also i have a lot of relatives struggling i help out too

[Tearsdontfall7]

OP, I'm in the same boat as you in terms of hypergamous attributes...except I'm 10 years older and have had the same type of luck. I've had plenty of dates, but nothing manifests for the long-term. I'm dating one 27-year old that meets the description you are describing, but she is so busy with her career that it makes it hard to develop anything. She's rare in that she uses no social media.

 

Honestly, a lot of times these things come down to luck. Being in the right place, at the right time. The type of girl your describing is only single if she wants to be. The girl I'm dating now showed me her Bumble account. Literally, she has over 300 matches. Luckily, she's not a superficial person and is looking for something real. I was lucky in that she found my profile and hunted me down. A very unusual situation. But we just happened to connect during a time in which she is single and has a very specific type of guy she is looking for.

 

 

I don't ever get any dates with anybody dateable is the issue

 

I believe i would dominate if i was to actually get any dates

[mark clemson]

My taste is too specific for any of those things to work though

 

Most of those recommendations are going to have women over 30, single moms, men and older people. I'm only interested in athletic and decent looking women around 22 to 32, no kids, intelligent and classy. I'm huge into fitness, i need a girl who loves to workout

 

And you mention no tats, which like everyone has these days.

 

I think the problem is as you describe - these are basically the most sought-after trophy wife type women and the competition is fierce. The level of male interest is probably more than many of them can keep up with. Also a trust factor if they're not a friend of some kind since so many guys want them just for the sake of banging a hottie.

 

Not sure if you're up for this, but my suggestion would be to lower your standards a bit. I strongly suspect there are plenty of decent slightly more beta women with just a tramp stamp who would be thanking their lucky stars to be riding around in a Lexus with a guy built like a linebacker who makes 200 K/year. They may even want to have your baby one day.

 

Consider it.

 

If that doesn't work, I can tell you than in about 10 years the worm turns rather drastically. However, they are no longer as smooth or as baggage-free by then. Still, the value of a 200 K income, nice house, etc will be even more appealing once they fully get into their heads how the world works. You may get your trophy wife then if that's what you've gotta have.

[Tamfana]

I'm working on that. I have a nice house, a really sharp Lexus. I hope to be a millionaire by 35 to 36 and have the summer house, 3 cars, etc...i don't care about retirement. I'm a workaholic so I'll work until I'm 100

 

But making more money isn't going to change my situation. Top 1% is probably very conservative. I don't know anybody my age who makes what i make and i know at least 200 people near my age.

 

I'm making myself sound more superficial than i am. I was great with people when i was poor. I'm genuinely a very good, loyal person and I've made tons and tons and tons of friends over the years. Everybody who gets to know me really likes me. I have old acquaintances who live in Georgia, Atlanta, Florida, Montana and they all ask me to go visit them still after years apart.

 

Ask your friends and acquaintances to fix you up. If they can't or won't, ask them why. They know you best and probably know why you're not successful at dating, which is weird given that everybody who gets to know you likes you. Tell them to be very honest, not to worry about hurting your feelings. That's how you'll get your answer- or, a bunch of fix-ups!

[TheFinalWord]

Are you using OLD or just cold approach? Cold approach rarely works, but I have asked out girls in the pet store and in the grocery store. It's easier in the grocery because you see them picking out food and ask if they like that food or what they think. Makes it easy to strike up a conversation. I know you don't have a dog, but it's an easy ice breaker. There's always attractive women in the pet store and you can let your dog go up to her to break the ice lol

[mark clemson]

Another thought - you mention the need to look like a male model. Consider that these girls may not wish or feel a need to take a step down in terms of looks. They may want an equal, at least for now. (Again, aged 10 years they may be a lot less fussy.)

 

 

Also the workaholism may not be helpful unfortunately. Many women want a guy who will pay a lot of (flattering) attention to them. So mentioning this may be an issue or they may feel like you're trying to hard to impress them if you talk about this. Just a thought.

 

 

Agree that getting set up with/by friends could work - helps with the trusting a rich stranger aspect at least.

Edited April 16, 2019 by mark clemson

[TheFinalWord]

I think he's exaggerating with the male model stuff. That's like .1% of men.

 

Going with the linebacker reference though, if he's chunky, that can reduce his chances. A lean face is probably the number 1 thing a man can do to improve his looks. A guy with 10% bodyfat with muscular tone is for the most part, more attractive to women than a guy with 20% body fat with massive muscles.

 

Overall, he should go for looks equal. But the truth is some women aren't that picky with looks. You just need to meet her minimum standard and then his other attributes can fill in the gaps.

[mark clemson]

Good point. Possibly, though the ones who aren't that picky about looks aren't the lean, athletic hotties OP is seeking. Still think he's in where the competition is most fierce, unfortunately for him.

[TheFinalWord]

It has to be something in his approach. I only date those types of women and I'm no male model.

[Tearsdontfall7]

Another thought - you mention the need to look like a male model. Consider that these girls may not wish or feel a need to take a step down in terms of looks. They may want an equal, at least for now. (Again, aged 10 years they may be a lot less fussy.)

 

 

Also the workaholism may not be helpful unfortunately. Many women want a guy who will pay a lot of (flattering) attention to them. So mentioning this may be an issue or they may feel like you're trying to hard to impress them if you talk about this. Just a thought.

 

 

Agree that getting set up with/by friends could work - helps with the trusting a rich stranger aspect at least.

 

You misunderstood what I said. I go for women who are about my equal. I'm about a 7 on a scale of 1 to 10 and that's who i go after. I dress very nice and am in great shape. That's the kind of women i go after

 

Women like that want to date somebody from their social circle. They're generally not open to dating strangers, unless you're a male model

 

I make friends everywhere I go and nobody knows any cute, single, fit, very high quality women around 23 to 30

 

And I work about 50 to 55 hours a week but i don't mention that to women. Unfortunately nowadays, you're not making real money (150 to 400k+) unless you work a ton

[Tearsdontfall7]

I think he's exaggerating with the male model stuff. That's like .1% of men.

 

Going with the linebacker reference though, if he's chunky, that can reduce his chances. A lean face is probably the number 1 thing a man can do to improve his looks. A guy with 10% bodyfat with muscular tone is for the most part, more attractive to women than a guy with 20% body fat with massive muscles.

 

Overall, he should go for looks equal. But the truth is some women aren't that picky with looks. You just need to meet her minimum standard and then his other attributes can fill in the gaps.

 

Im 5'11 190 lbs maybe 11% bodyfat. My face is very lean and i have a very masculine facial structure.

 

And I'm telling you, I've gone out with dozens of very good looking man who got nothing from approaching women. The only guy who did ok was a male model type - maybe top 0.1% of men. The rest of us are just decent top 5 or 10% ers and that doesn't seem to be enough.

Edited April 16, 2019 by Tearsdontfall7

[Tearsdontfall7]

Are you using OLD or just cold approach? Cold approach rarely works, but I have asked out girls in the pet store and in the grocery store. It's easier in the grocery because you see them picking out food and ask if they like that food or what they think. Makes it easy to strike up a conversation. I know you don't have a dog, but it's an easy ice breaker. There's always attractive women in the pet store and you can let your dog go up to her to break the ice lol

 

Online dating is the absolute hardest

 

Create a profle as a good looking, athletic 27 year old woman with no kids. You'll have a billion hits instantly

[Tearsdontfall7]

It has to be something in his approach. I only date those types of women and I'm no male model.

 

 

So how do you do it? You cold approaching or meeting women through friends/daily routine?

 

Keep in mind I don't meet anybody naturally

[JuneL]

Then just quit your current job and become a male model

[Tearsdontfall7]

Then just quit your current job and become a male model

 

 

I'm not good looking enough for that

 

I'm your standard run of the mill 7 or 7.5/10. You need to be a 9 or 10 to be a model

[JuneL]

I'm not good looking enough for that

 

I'm your standard run of the mill 7 or 7.5/10. You need to be a 9 or 10 to be a model

 

Well you can work hard on that too! Look how some of those celebrities looked like before they got famous

[Tearsdontfall7]

Well you can work hard on that too! Look how some of those celebrities looked like before they got famous

 

Lol

 

I'm not getting facial surgery. I'm happy with how I look

[Sunlight72]

OP, you do sound really fixated on an extremely narrow profile of woman. There are a couple problems with that.

 

- There aren't very many of them, and almost zero that you will actually meet who are single and interested in spending time with just one man.

 

- When you do meet one, at last, you're going to blow it because you haven't gotten practice chatting, meeting up with, hanging out with, and dating women, let alone your 'perfect girl'. You're going to grab her tight and squeeze the fun right out of her life because you don't want to lose her, and she'll feel your neediness and drop you. Trust me. You will, and you won't be able to stop yourself. She can smell this coming 2 miles away and is very comfortable slipping out of that noose.

 

So... suggestions.

 

Date someone you find sorta cute, that you enjoy talking to. This will help because you will start getting some practice in Real Life Dating (which is completely irreplaceable, and critical to your future relationship success in ways you literally cannot imagine, but must go through several times to start to improve).

 

Ironically, it will also help you because once you're dating someone, you will 'naturally' be more attractive to other women. I'll leave it to your conscience what you do with that. Just know it is a real thing, and can't be faked.

 

My other suggestion is to find a way to put yourself into the immigrant community. Eastern European, Ukraine, Russia, or Latin America. There are big neighborhoods with these populations. They tend to be very family oriented, and also have a very different understanding of male/female dynamics that most Americans. Many such women put in a lot of effort to be feminine and attractive.

 

Please note that what 'family oriented' means is that many such women will also live with or on the same block as their parents, uncles, aunts, cousins. If you get serious, they will expect your big bank roll to help out with family expenses such as housing, cars, the latest cell phone models, etc., etc.

 

So, make the most of it! Be proud of your income and share it. Many of this type of 'traditional' woman expect that her part of life is to look good for you and have babies. To balance that, your part of life is to pay for the Whole family to live well, and you should expect soon after marriage that her parents and possibly an aunt or uncle or cousin will be moving into your marital home. More or less permanently. No matter what she tells you now or later. Just plan on it, because her family is literally her life. You will be marrying her family. Be proud you are able to offer that, and you will do well.

 

If you want one of the American hotties, just forget it right now. They don't want to marry and have babies. Perhaps after they're 36 or 38. I am generalizing, but think about what you have witnessed and tell me if you think this is accurate or not. It's accurate. 22 to 27 year old American hotties getting hotter in the gym every month are not looking to get tied down to anyone. It's just not part of their world view, and there is no upside for them to sign up to be with just one guy when they have dozens on offer, so why should they? You'll be fooling yourself.

 

Best Wishes.

[Sunlight72]

I'm not good looking enough for that

 

I'm your standard run of the mill 7 or 7.5/10. You need to be a 9 or 10 to be a model

No, you don't need to be that good looking to be a model. And actually, modeling school would be a good place for you to learn how to carry yourself and meet models.

 

Be aware though, 4 of 10 modeling students are only there to gain poise and some self confidence (a very legitimate goal) or public speaking ability. 95 out of 100 modeling students are not any more attractive than a barista. But they often become friends with each other and do social things together, so over a 4 month course you will have the chance to more naturally get to know 2 or 3 models you might be interested in dating. Voila.

[Tearsdontfall7]

OP, you do sound really fixated on an extremely narrow profile of woman. There are a couple problems with that.

 

<SNIP>

 

 

very interesting post. Few things to consider here

 

 

1)I'm really not getting any dating opportunities with anybody remotely close to what I want. The women who approach me for the most part aren't even decent. I had this very chubby Indian girl who approached me at a bar 5 weeks ago... not my type at all. Do I want a cute and very fit girl? yes I do, would I probably settle for a pretty cute girl with a decent body who just works out once a month? I probably would but I'm not getting that either. I haven't had sex with a woman or been on a date in 2 years, I'm 30 now. I'm the absolute best package I've ever been in my life and I still can't seem to get a date if my life depended on it.

 

 

2)I kinda know what you mean by squeezing too hard but I really don't act that way regardless of situation. I only know how to act my normal self - which is masculine/independent/assertive. I'm not going to turn into a sissy pushover once I do have a girl I like. I think I would do great once I get any real opportunities like that but I never get them.

 

 

3)I love ethnic women. I love ethnic middle eastern (non muslim of course), south European women and Mexican/puerto rican/south american. I actually have a very strong preference for dark features and obviously I'm huge into family values/family loyalty. I don't know how I feel about having to take care of my future family, our kids and also her family though. I don't know if I would be down with that. I already help with a lot of my current relatives. My money can only be stretched so thin. I want to provide my wife and kids a fantastic quality of life. This is not easy either though. I tried to approach a cute Columbian girl on Saturday and she wanted nothing to do with me

 

 

Women are excruciatingly difficult no matter what demographics you consider

Edited April 16, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Tearsdontfall7]

No, you don't need to be that good looking to be a model. And actually, modeling school would be a good place for you to learn how to carry yourself and meet models.

 

Be aware though, 4 of 10 modeling students are only there to gain poise and some self confidence (a very legitimate goal) or public speaking ability. 95 out of 100 modeling students are not any more attractive than a barista. But they often become friends with each other and do social things together, so over a 4 month course you will have the chance to more naturally get to know 2 or 3 models you might be interested in dating. Voila.

 

 

I don't really care that much about the face. I like just sort of a decent cute face without any huge imperfections. Doesn't have to be anywhere near a model. In terms of purely physical things, I'm mostly into a body like Jennifer Lopez or Scarlet Johannsen. I see women posted online and guys call them a "butterface" and that's ridiculous. I'm totally ok with an average face if she is in great shape with the kind of nice curves I like.

 

 

and I already work 50-55 hours a week, I'm not doing any modeling school

[TheFinalWord]

Im 5'11 190 lbs maybe 11% bodyfat. My face is very lean and i have a very masculine facial structure.

 

And I'm telling you, I've gone out with dozens of very good looking man who got nothing from approaching women. The only guy who did ok was a male model type - maybe top 0.1% of men. The rest of us are just decent top 5 or 10% ers and that doesn't seem to be enough.

 

I'm the same height, 215lbs, 10% BF. Objectively my face is probably 7.5-8. Not 0.1%. Not male model status and I have dated women 22-27 in the past year, petite build, with athletic legs, cute faces, long hair, very feminine. It is possible and you don't have to be a male model. You just have to have some luck, some confidence, and keep being the best possible version of yourself. I'll put a back shot in my bio.

 

I don't meet them in clubs or bars. I go for them in the gym, in the grocery store, or the pet store. I also use OLD. I don't spend time writing women online because I know it's a lost cause. I let them write me. It's rare, but I know if they write first, I'll get a response. I spent a lot of time writing my profile ad so they know exactly what I am looking for, what I enjoy for fun, my future plans, and what I want in a woman. The ones looking for something real are going to read your bio on OLD. Your pic will get them interested, but your profile has to be good.

Edited April 16, 2019 by TheFinalWord

[Tearsdontfall7]

I'm the same height, 215lbs, 10% BF. Objectively my face is probably 7.5-8. Not 0.1%. Not male model status and I have dated women 22-27 in the past year, petite build, with athletic legs, cute faces, long hair, very feminine. It is possible and you don't have to be a male model. You just have to have some luck, some confidence, and keep being the best possible version of yourself. I'll put a back shot in my bio.

 

I don't meet them in clubs or bars. I go for them in the gym, in the grocery store, or the pet store. I also use OLD. I don't spend time writing women online because I know it's a lost cause. I let them write me. It's rare, but I know if they write first, I'll get a response.

 

 

dude if you're 5'10 215 10% BF with a 8/10 face, you're like top 0.5% of men. You might not quite be a traditional male model material but you ain't far behind

 

 

but I'm glad you say that online dating was impossible for you too in terms of messaging women first. Makes me feel more sane knowing that I'm not the only one who thought online dating was totally impossible.

 

 

how do you get the women at gyms/pet store/grocery store? The gyms have a huge barrier in terms of them all wearing headphones and not being very social. For me personally, I never see anybody dateable at the grocery store but I live in a wealthy suburb. It's mostly families and older folks here at the regular places. I only see girls my age at gyms, bars and malls. Are you getting with these women after a single interaction (asking for a number and getting a date) or are you interacting with them multiple times before asking them out?

[TheFinalWord]

dude if you're 5'10 215 10% BF with a 8/10 face, you're like top 0.5% of men. You might not quite be a traditional male model material but you ain't far behind

 

 

but I'm glad you say that online dating was impossible for you too in terms of messaging women first. Makes me feel more sane knowing that I'm not the only one who thought online dating was totally impossible.

 

 

how do you get the women at gyms/pet store/grocery store? The gyms have a huge barrier in terms of them all wearing headphones and not being very social. For me personally, I never see anybody dateable at the grocery store but I live in a wealthy suburb. It's mostly families and older folks here at the regular places. I only see girls my age at gyms, bars and malls. Are you getting with these women after a single interaction (asking for a number and getting a date) or are you interacting with them multiple times before asking them out?

 

Yeah, but I'm a lot older than you. I take really good care of my skin, but I'm no male model. I've been lifting since I was 21 and my genetics are descent so that's just from time in the gym. You can control your bodyfat with diet. It's a good way to live because not only will you be more attractive, but you'll prevent heart disease, diabetes, and all the rest of those chronic diseases. But with your size, you're totally fine and built plenty for what women like.

 

With OLD, I let them write me, but I created a good profile. With my age though, those women don't have me in their search criteria for the most part. So, you should have actually better luck than me. It may only work 5 times a year (the number of women where there is mutual attraction, I don't even respond to obese women with multiple kids), but I know the women that initiate are serious. I've had women drive from other states and pay for the entire date. I've had luck writing first, but the juice isn't worth the squeeze.

 

In the gym, watch that video I posted. I will ask to work in on equipment. Especially on leg day. Even those goofy abductor machines. I also bring a towel so they'll see I'm hygienic. Sublminial stuff like that. Then when you're working in, you can strike up a conversation. If she's flirting, just ask for her name and if it seems like she's interested, ask if she'd ever want to meet up for a drink or to train together sometime.

 

In the pet store, it's like fish in a barrel. My dog is really cute. He goes up to women naturally, and all the women into dogs naturally want to pet him and talk all that baby dog talk Just strike up a conversation.

 

In the grocery, it's the same thing. Go for the same foods as she is going for and ask her opinion about an item or if she's ever tried it. If she acts interested, ask if she has any recommendations on how to prepare. If you have some basic culinary skills, women love that stuff. If you're into fitness, you probably make most of your meals like me. Try to learn some recipes. Nothing fancy. But I'm really good at making chicken, vegetables and basic stuff.

[Tearsdontfall7]

Yeah, but I'm a lot older than you. I take really good care of my skin, but I'm no male model. I've been lifting since I was 21 and my genetics are descent so that's just from time in the gym. You can control your bodyfat with diet. It's a good way to live because not only will you be more attractive, but you'll prevent heart disease, diabetes, and all the rest of those chronic diseases. But with your size, you're totally fine and built plenty for what women like.

 

With OLD, I let them write me, but I created a good profile. With my age though, those women don't have me in their search criteria for the most part. So, you should have actually better luck than me. It may only work 5 times a year (the number of women where there is mutual attraction, I don't even respond to obese women with multiple kids), but I know the women that initiate are serious. I've had women drive from other states and pay for the entire date. I've had luck writing first, but the juice isn't worth the squeeze.

 

In the gym, watch that video I posted. I will ask to work in on equipment. Especially on leg day. Even those goofy abductor machines. I also bring a towel so they'll see I'm hygienic. Sublminial stuff like that. Then when you're working in, you can strike up a conversation. If she's flirting, just ask for her name and if it seems like she's interested, ask if she'd ever want to meet up for a drink or to train together sometime.

 

In the pet store, it's like fish in a barrel. My dog is really cute. He goes up to women naturally, and all the women into dogs naturally want to pet him and talk all that baby dog talk Just strike up a conversation.

 

In the grocery, it's the same thing. Go for the same foods as she is going for and ask her opinion about an item or if she's ever tried it. If she acts interested, ask if she has any recommendations on how to prepare. If you have some basic culinary skills, women love that stuff. If you're into fitness, you probably make most of your meals like me. Try to learn some recipes. Nothing fancy. But I'm really good at making chicken, vegetables and basic stuff.

 

 

I live in a suburb. I don't see women my age at grocery stores - it's mostly older people and families

 

 

I really don't see women my age anywhere except bars/clubs and gyms