Author Fair Posted February 23, 2019 Author Share Posted February 23, 2019 As for weeding out scammers, maybe watching to see how often a man is online is my way. Maybe it's the way of other women too, for example my friend who said without missing a beat, to give this guy the boot when I said he's online all the time. Maybe people should be more cognizant of HOW THEY APPEAR when they meet a potential partner... i.e... maybe it's not smart to LOOK like you're hitting up every other woman on the internet whether you are or whether you aren't. Maybe people are screwing themselves over by leaving browser windows open or what have you... Maybe they're screwing themselves over by not wanting to talk on the phone before the meet. MANY of us are pretty picky and have our guards up online. If you want to be successful, you have to put some effort into making someone comfortable and to appear trustworthy if that's what you really are... there are plenty of fish in the sea. Link to post Share on other sites
nospam99 Posted February 23, 2019 Share Posted February 23, 2019 I did some quick research on the PoF forums. The PoF Mobile App will show a user as Online even if the app window has been closed. Furthermore, the Online status remains for quite a while after the user has force closed the app. Help me out here, please. I use a computer, never a phone, to access dating sites. This is the first I've heard of a 'PoF Mobile App'. Does that app have chat functionality? Link to post Share on other sites
nospam99 Posted February 23, 2019 Share Posted February 23, 2019 (edited) it's not smart to LOOK like you're hitting up every other woman on the internet I appear to be online 24x7x365 on at least two dating sites because my computer is a server and it's always running. In 16 months of online dating, I have contacted about 300 women by sending unsolicited messages requesting a meeting. Less than a third of those have responded at all. I rarely send a second unsolicited message unless the particular woman appears in a 'match list' presented to me by the site. You have provided NO observation to support your suspicion that this guy you've complained about is doing anything different. The insult and, to my mind, your misinterpretation is to characterize this level of activity as looking like he is or I am hitting up every other woman on the internet. You don't want to meet a particular man? No problem. But painting his behavior and, by extension, mine with so broad a brush will, as other posters (mostly men) here on LS have pointed out, so limit your options that you are probably cutting off what would otherwise be good prospects. To other LS ladies, if this attitude and behavior is anything like the way you use OLD, don't be complaining that OLD doesn't work. What doesn't work is you. This is the electronic/virtual equivalent of sitting at a table in a nightclub and turning your nose up at any guy in the room who your saw so much as looking in the direction of another woman on his way over to talk to you. Edited February 23, 2019 by nospam99 1 Link to post Share on other sites
damni Posted February 23, 2019 Share Posted February 23, 2019 (edited) I appear to be online 24x7x365 on at least two dating sites because my computer is a server and it's always running. In 16 months of online dating, I have contacted about 300 women by sending unsolicited messages requesting a meeting. Less than a third of those have responded at all. Well as woman who did OD for 3 years, I decided like OP to stop making excuses for these men and to move on quickly if I was not happy with the way I was being treated. I found doing this cut loose the men who were never going to be serious about me. In OP situation, I would have cut him loose too. He could not be bothered to text or call her yet was happy to go online searching for other women? She could have met up with him, but she likely would have been wasting her time. He had already put her in the 'meh' box. I have been there. Many men are happy to date you, enjoy your company while knowing you are never going to be 'the one' You need to cut them off. OP you are doing the right thing trusting your gut I met my boyfriend soon after I employed this tactic. Edited February 23, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fair Posted February 23, 2019 Author Share Posted February 23, 2019 (edited) To other LS ladies, if this attitude and behavior is anything like the way you use OLD, don't be complaining that OLD doesn't work. What doesn't work is you. This is the electronic/virtual equivalent of sitting at a table in a nightclub and turning your nose up at any guy in the room who your saw so much as looking in the direction of another woman on his way over to talk to you. It's more like watching the guy you're interested in sit at another woman's table all night flirting with her after telling you it's you he wants. Edited February 23, 2019 by Fair Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted February 23, 2019 Share Posted February 23, 2019 Help me out here, please. I use a computer, never a phone, to access dating sites. This is the first I've heard of a 'PoF Mobile App'. Does that app have chat functionality?I haven't used the app personally, but yes, it does have chat functionality. Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted February 23, 2019 Share Posted February 23, 2019 It's more like watching the guy you're interested in sit at another woman's table all night flirting with her after telling you it's you he wants.It's like watching the guy you're interested in sit at another woman's table after you told him he couldn't sit at yours. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted February 24, 2019 Share Posted February 24, 2019 So what's happened since anything, has he disappeared now or been in touch again ? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fair Posted February 24, 2019 Author Share Posted February 24, 2019 (edited) He leaves me about three messages a day on POF despite the fact I haven't been answering him. In my last response I asked him what he did with my phone number and he said he lost it. After that I expected my silence to speak for itself but he keeps messaging me and urging me to call him. If he figured out that I'm not pleased that he 'lost' my phone number, he doesn't care... Edited February 24, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Redact quote of prior post Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fair Posted February 24, 2019 Author Share Posted February 24, 2019 (edited) I appear to be online 24x7x365 on at least two dating sites because my computer is a server and it's always running. In 16 months of online dating, I have contacted about 300 women by sending unsolicited messages requesting a meeting. Less than a third of those have responded at all. ok so you're on two different dating sites and your computer is always running. How long have you been languishing on these sights?? Months? Years? Is your way of doing things really that superior to mine? Edited February 24, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
nospam99 Posted February 24, 2019 Share Posted February 24, 2019 (edited) 'Languishing'? I don't think so. I'm meeting a 'new' woman 'about' once a month (next one scheduled for 2pm today). How long? Since September '17. Superior? Hell YES! Reasons: - If a woman is interested enough in meeting me to make first contact I either ignore (if she's geographically or physically undesirable - GUD or PUD), send a polite 'no thanks' note, or meet her. I do NOT jerk her around by playing 'hard to get' because I don't like her communication modality. - I don't stalk them online and IMAGINE they are 'chatting' with other men or 'hitting on every man on the internet' which are two things I have NO WAY OF KNOWING because computer programs (other than the ones I personally wrote) could be doing anything. - I give them enough PERSONAL RESPECT to respond in some way to their persistent attempts at contact. - I give them enough PERSONAL RESPECT to accept whatever mode (message, email, text, phone) and frequency of communication they prefer to use. - 'Somehow' 'my way of doing things' results in my having avoided a situation where multiple women on LS haven't yet posted to tell me that I'm 'being a dick to' a particular woman. - Although I've been close at times, I haven't yet reached the point where I regard OLD negatively enough to describe it as 'same old'. Edited February 24, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Redact quote of prior post; fix spacing 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fair Posted February 24, 2019 Author Share Posted February 24, 2019 (edited) So nearly two years of dating a new woman every month but no takers... that doesn't sound very successful to me unless you're looking to be a lifelong serial dater. You'd think (if you're really) dating THAT MUCH you'd have met someone to be with longer than a night. If you're still going through a woman a month after two years I'd be asking myself what I'm doing WRONG. Edited February 24, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Redact quote of prior post; fix spacing Link to post Share on other sites
nospam99 Posted February 26, 2019 Share Posted February 26, 2019 @Fair Occam's Razor says 'what I'm doing WRONG' is giving people a chance. Clearly you've got that particular pitfall covered. FWIW Occam's Razor also says that I'm undesirable. I'll have to keep dealing with that or maybe just give up. Time will tell. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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