ExpatInItaly Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 Do you thinks that’s all it was? I was just a rebound, she told me she just wants friends and now she’s talking to me again. Yes, unfortunately, I do. She is licking her wounds after being cheated on and looking for attention from you, but doesn't want to actually date you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Juha Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 This woman is very damaged after what happened to her and is not open to letting anyone in or even close to her. She likes your company and attention but you will be banging your head off the wall if you want anything more out of her. She is emotionally closed for business...She will not be available for any relationship for a long time with what happened to her. Some people just let it go and move on and others end up like her and keep people away as they do not trust anyone. Can't have any type of romantic relationship when the other person has not trust in you because they are damaged.. Pass on women who are damaged like this as you will not get what you are looking for. Find a woman who is open for a romantic relationship and it will be easy adn without drama. I wish you luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author matty145 Posted January 27, 2019 Author Share Posted January 27, 2019 Yes, unfortunately, I do. She is licking her wounds after being cheated on and looking for attention from you, but doesn't want to actually date you. I mean, do you think there’s a chance she’d want to date in the future? Link to post Share on other sites
Author matty145 Posted January 27, 2019 Author Share Posted January 27, 2019 (edited) This woman is very damaged after what happened to her and is not open to letting anyone in or even close to her.<snip> She was cool with hooking up with me at the start and wanted to be around me a lot and then she backed off with the whole “friends” thing. And now she’s talking to me a lot more, snapchatting me a lot, very in depth conversations. You really think she just wants attention or do you think there’s a chance she’s pacing herself?? Edited January 28, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Truncate quote Link to post Share on other sites
Juha Posted January 28, 2019 Share Posted January 28, 2019 She was cool with hooking up with me at the start and wanted to be around me a lot and then she backed off with the whole “friends” thing. And now she’s talking to me a lot more, snapchatting me a lot, very in depth conversations. You really think she just wants attention or do you think there’s a chance she’s pacing herself?? Only you can answer that question. If you are fine with having conversations and not dates then by all means have fun. I doubt very much things will progress to where you want them... Link to post Share on other sites
Author matty145 Posted January 28, 2019 Author Share Posted January 28, 2019 Only you can answer that question. If you are fine with having conversations and not dates then by all means have fun. I doubt very much things will progress to where you want them... I asked one of my friends and he thinks she’s into me but she just wants space because she is still recovering from her last relationship and just needs time. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted January 28, 2019 Share Posted January 28, 2019 (edited) I mean, do you think there’s a chance she’d want to date in the future? Eh, I wouldn't count on it. When I was much younger and met guys soon after I had broken up with someone, they were never the guys I actually dated seriously later on. They were the fillers who eased the void left behind by someone else. It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you, to be very clear, but i have rarely seen a rebounding dumpee wind up with the guy she meets just after getting her heart broken. Edited January 28, 2019 by ExpatInItaly 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author matty145 Posted January 28, 2019 Author Share Posted January 28, 2019 Eh, I wouldn't count on it. When I was much younger and met guys soon after I had broken up with someone, they were never the guys I actually dated seriously later on. They were the fillers who eased the void left behind by someone else. It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you, to be very clear, but i have rarely seen a rebounding dumpee wind up with the guy she meets just after getting her heart broken. Well it’s officially over now, I texted her that we shouldn’t text/snap for a while because it seems like she’s going through some things. And she snapped back saying she’s wasn’t going through anything and that I shouldn’t tell her how I feel, so I sent back she shouldn’t snap,text, talk to somebody that has requested she not and she sent back “you know what, I’m over this, we should cut communication” Link to post Share on other sites
Author matty145 Posted January 28, 2019 Author Share Posted January 28, 2019 Hurts now but I know itÂ’s for the best Link to post Share on other sites
ShyLove Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 So apparently, she just got out of a two year relationship in which she got cheated on. And her way of telling me to give her space was saying “I just wanna be friends” but she snap chats me a lot and talks to me at the bar and wants me to come watch her soccer games. What do I do I knew it! See post #101. I deal with these things all the time (I'm a counselor). She doesn't know what she wants right now and unfortunately tying you into her confusion. I wouldn't start trying to date someone to get over her bc you would essentially be doing the same thing she jusgt did to you. Maybe go get a gym membership or take up a new hobby so you can move on faster and have other things to think about. Good luck to you Link to post Share on other sites
TheFinalWord Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 she sent back “you know what, I’m over this, we should cut communication” That's what you already said, she just wanted to have the last word. Bro, you did the right thing. Did you reply? Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 Well, there you have it, OP. Let it stay done this time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author matty145 Posted January 29, 2019 Author Share Posted January 29, 2019 (edited) That's what you already said, she just wanted to have the last word. Bro, you did the right thing. Did you reply? I think she was just mad that I called her on her bs. She was definitely playing games and just looking for attention. She probably felt angry because I was assuming how she felt or whatever but I don’t really care because not once did she understand how I felt about the situation. Edited January 29, 2019 by matty145 Link to post Share on other sites
Author matty145 Posted January 29, 2019 Author Share Posted January 29, 2019 Do I think I owe her an apology for what I did? Was I being an a**hole? Link to post Share on other sites
dispatch3d Posted January 30, 2019 Share Posted January 30, 2019 Nah matty doesn't seem like you owe her an apology. Link to post Share on other sites
TheFinalWord Posted January 30, 2019 Share Posted January 30, 2019 (edited) Do I think I owe her an apology for what I did? Was I being an a**hole? No, you weren't being a jerk. She stated her boundaries, and you stated yours. When she stated her boundaries, did you act like a 2 year old? She acted like a brat. You acted like an adult. You're way more mature than she is, by years. You just didn't let her dictate all the terms anymore. Good for you. You won't get what you want from her (a relationship) by allowing her to put you in the friend zone and thinking if you play by her rules, eventually she will see what a great guy you are and want a relationship. It won't work that way. The only way you have any chance is by setting the boundaries and sticking to them. If you cave now, you are totally disrespecting yourself and she will know it. A woman can't love you if she doesn't respect you. And she can't respect you if you don't respect yourself. You showed some respect for yourself. Don't apologize for respecting yourself. Edited January 30, 2019 by TheFinalWord Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted January 30, 2019 Share Posted January 30, 2019 Do I think I owe her an apology for what I did? Was I being an a**hole? No, just leave it be now. It's already too much drama for a girl you barely know. Leave her in the past so you can focus on more viable prospects. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author matty145 Posted February 1, 2019 Author Share Posted February 1, 2019 No, you weren't being a jerk. She stated her boundaries, and you stated yours. When she stated her boundaries, did you act like a 2 year old? She acted like a brat. You acted like an adult. You're way more mature than she is, by years. You just didn't let her dictate all the terms anymore. Good for you. You won't get what you want from her (a relationship) by allowing her to put you in the friend zone and thinking if you play by her rules, eventually she will see what a great guy you are and want a relationship. It won't work that way. The only way you have any chance is by setting the boundaries and sticking to them. If you cave now, you are totally disrespecting yourself and she will know it. A woman can't love you if she doesn't respect you. And she can't respect you if you don't respect yourself. You showed some respect for yourself. Don't apologize for respecting yourself. Thanks appreciate that. I mean I don't think I was in the wrong, she said let's be friends and basically continued to snapchat me, text me, and talk to me at the bar. She said she was trying to keep things causal and just be friends, and then I told her it seemed like she was playing "games", then she seemed to get really mad and told me that I shouldn't tell her how she feels. She just got out of a two year relationship so maybe she wanted to just vet me until she was ready to date again but then again idk couldve just been her rebound and she likes my attention. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 1, 2019 Share Posted February 1, 2019 Thanks appreciate that. I mean I don't think I was in the wrong, she said let's be friends and basically continued to snapchat me, text me, and talk to me at the bar. She said she was trying to keep things causal and just be friends, and then I told her it seemed like she was playing "games", then she seemed to get really mad and told me that I shouldn't tell her how she feels. She just got out of a two year relationship so maybe she wanted to just vet me until she was ready to date again but then again idk couldve just been her rebound and she likes my attention. Basically she put you in the friend zone and then did what friends do, ie text snapchat and talk. YOU want "more", so you felt she was using you and playing games... She wasn't. You upset her with your "rejection", as she was just being friendly, no more, no less. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Juha Posted February 1, 2019 Share Posted February 1, 2019 Seems like she is now wanting you as friend only but it does seem like she is damaged goods from her last relationship. Possibly used you to make herself feel good. I would not think about this girl for one more minute, don't waste your time on this one. She is 100% not worth it. You did well stating to her what you wanted, she was not on the same page as you. Wish her the best and move along. She got butt hurt because you did not do what she wanted so she gave you an attitude. Again poor behavior, let her stomp her feet at someone else. Delete and ignore her Link to post Share on other sites
Author matty145 Posted February 1, 2019 Author Share Posted February 1, 2019 Basically she put you in the friend zone and then did what friends do, ie text snapchat and talk. YOU want "more", so you felt she was using you and playing games... She wasn't. You upset her with your "rejection", as she was just being friendly, no more, no less. So girls Snapchat and text guy friends that frequently? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 1, 2019 Share Posted February 1, 2019 Sure they do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author matty145 Posted February 2, 2019 Author Share Posted February 2, 2019 Sure they do. Ok well I don’t want to get snapchats from a person I’m into, unless they have an interest in me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TheFinalWord Posted February 2, 2019 Share Posted February 2, 2019 Let me ask you, do you just want to be platonic friends with her? Or do you want more? If you want more, you can't go along with playing this friends game. Link to post Share on other sites
Author matty145 Posted February 2, 2019 Author Share Posted February 2, 2019 Let me ask you, do you just want to be platonic friends with her? Or do you want more? If you want more, you can't go along with playing this friends game. I want more Link to post Share on other sites
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