thefooloftheyear Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 (edited) One cannot base "life" on these older guys though, surely? They only attract good looking women because of their bank balance. Your average older Joe isn't going to attract good looking women, unless he has an obvious talent, has the gift of the gab or is none too fussy about the type of girl he dates... the crazies, the addicts... etc. You are mischaracterizing this scenario based on popular belief... These aren't "gold diggers" because they aren't getting anything of monetary value from these guys and these guys will never marry these women...They live separate lives in that respect..>And its not 75 year olds with 28 year olds..Its like 60 year olds with early 40 year olds..If they aren't being compensated in any way, then how is it about bank balance..?? The "average Joe" if he's in good shape and has a good and stable career can actually pull from attractive women, because the numbers are clearly in his favor..I mentioned earlier a good friend of mine...Just divorced, broke 50+ biker type, typical middle aged physique, beer gut, etc.,..He went on OLD and wound up dating more than a dozen professional and non professional women, most he broke up with, had sex with over 20 different women, all over a 18 month period,..Now he's engaged to a pretty nice looking size 4ish woman around 50 yrs old he met on Tinder.. TFY Edited January 16, 2019 by thefooloftheyear Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 The "average Joe" if he's in good shape and has a good and stable career can actually pull from attractive women, because the numbers are clearly in his favor..I mentioned earlier a good friend of mine...Just divorced, broke 50+ biker type, typical middle aged physique, beer gut, etc.,..He went on OLD and wound up dating more than a dozen professional and non professional women, most he broke up with, had sex with over 20 different women, all over a 18 month period,..Now he's engaged to a pretty nice looking size 4ish woman around 50 yrs old he met on Tinder.. TFY Yes and if you remember I already told you why. He is a tattooed guy with a younger attitude and the gift of the gab... He is not your average older Joe. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 You are mischaracterizing this scenario based on popular belief... These aren't "gold diggers" because they aren't getting anything of monetary value from these guys and these guys will never marry these women...They live separate lives in that respect..>And its not 75 year olds with 28 year olds..Its like 60 year olds with early 40 year olds..If they aren't being compensated in any way, then how is it about bank balance..?? It is about "potential". Take away their trappings of wealth and see how attractive they are then... Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 It is about "potential". Take away their trappings of wealth and see how attractive they are then... None of these guys I mentioned you would ever know they had money, (including me), they are mostly blue collar millionaires from owning businesses and investments...They aren't wearing designer clothes and driving Jaguars.....So I while I do see your point, it really doesn't apply to all.. TFY 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 None of these guys I mentioned you would ever know they had money, (including me), they are mostly blue collar millionaires from owning businesses and investments...They aren't wearing designer clothes and driving Jaguars.....So I while I do see your point, it really doesn't apply to all.. TFY And these gals won't have sussed their worth out...??? Owning a business is a bit of a give away, blue collar or not. Link to post Share on other sites
LastStraw Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 On 'owning a business' as a giveaway for success... nah, the most broke people I know are business owners (lol at least they list themselves as such). My BF has tech management job but that he doesn't advertise this in public, most of his friends are broke middle aged dudes, he drives 20 year old cars and fixes everything himself and respectively dresses like a construction worker ... Yet what people don't see is his real estate, just from the rent let alone the equity he's VERY well off, but nobody could possibly guess from his presentation. Same for me - when I'm out with him on the weekend I dress down and couldn't care less if we're eating in McDonalds. People would probably consider me broke too if they get this snapshot of us LOL. But besides this tangent I agree with TFY. Looks matter, especially for women, and not investing in yourself to look better... it's just foolish, then women wonder why they stay single or their husband is cheating. Plus for BOTH men and women looks matter for business success too, no matter what PC people would say.... Back on the age topic - men are not that detail oriented as women and I've never seen a guy guessing age correctly or passing on a GREAT looking woman because she's one year older than his age limit lol. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
brigit87 Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 (edited) . Maybe do some facial rejuvenation(botox etc)..Get your nails done regularly and wear stylish shoes...You would be amazed at how great a pair of legs can look with the right shoes..If you don't have the cash for it, then I would even consider dipping into retirement account...Its an investment in yourself, after all... OP you can do that stuff even if you don't care about dating. In fact, maybe just be nice to yourself and give yourself some kindness and maybe dating won't be that interesting. But don't dip into a retirement account for any reason. No pair of shoes is worth it. (Also, don't get a boob job; get a padded bra it's cheaper.) Edited January 16, 2019 by brigit87 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 ]OP you can do that stuff even if you don't care about dating.[/b] In fact, maybe just be nice to yourself and give yourself some kindness and maybe dating won't be that interesting. But don't dip into a retirement account for any reason. No pair of shoes is worth it. (Also, don't get a boob job; get a padded bra it's cheaper.) Sure, absolutely... A padded bra is about as acceptable as a toupee on a man...In other words it may only look good from a distance...:lmao: I disagree on the retirement acct though...Too many people deny themselves while they hoard this money away...They may not even live long enough to ever use it...Nothing in life is guaranteed,,Im not saying strip it clean, but if you can take some money out for yourself, to improve your quality of life now, while its more important, I see no reason not to.. Some of these accounts actually allow you to borrow against it, interest free..Point is, if its important, then do it...Improve yourself...If you don't and don't care, then fine...But if you are out there complaining and doing nothing about it, then its something to consider.. TFY Link to post Share on other sites
nospam99 Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 (edited) Counterpoint from a 64 y/o male, going to be 65 in a few weeks ... Here are some key quotes, fully backed up by millions of data points: ''A man, as he gets older, searches for relatively younger and younger women'' ''Women show an admirable openness to both reasonably younger and reasonably older men. Notice also how a woman’s actual messaging activity, shown in the heat map below, is roughly centered on her own age.'' ''As you can see, men tend to focus on the youngest women in their already skewed preference pool, and, what’s more, they spend a significant amount of energy pursuing women even younger than their stated minimum.'' I started on OLD open to women as young as 50. As I discovered that the younger women in that range stated age preferences often younger than they were themselves, I changed and now aim 'older'. I'll rarely contact a woman younger than 57 any more. Maybe there is just a 'knee in the curve' for seniors beyond which the age 'rules' change. In another age-related searching thread, several females have suggested that women don't want men who will need 'nursing'. FWIW 4 of the last 9 women who have Liked me on match.com are 67 or 68. They, as well as the 62-66s can't keep up with my physical activity level so age, for me, is a 'squeeze'. I want to hike, dance, rock scramble, kayak, and ski. The 62+ women generally want to shop, go on drives in the country, and attend theater. Edited January 17, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Fix spacing in quote 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 Counterpoint from a 64 y/o male, going to be 65 in a few weeks ... Happy "Early" Birthday!! :bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 The OK Cupid “research” is so laughable ... 25 yo and 35 yo in 99.99% of the cases look so vastly different there is no comparison... even if 35 yo avoided somehow the inevitable wrinkles and pounds, the tiredness in the eyes can’t be hidden .... But desirability is not direct function of looks. I still stand that my options increased with age, drastically. Not because my looks improved lol, but it’s a fact. The reason men avoid older women is obviously because of fertility decline and/or desire of older women to ‘trap’ the guy with baby/marriage ASAP. For women that do NOT play these games and men that has already had children and don’t want more, age is irrelevant considering the woman looks good (good, not young). No way. Remember, OKC considers single 35 year old women only that use their dating site. Married 35 year olds (especially after a few kids) tend to look completely different to a single 35 year olds. Single women are constantly optimazing their looks. What you see on the street are married women that don’t care or are too busy to bother with looks and keeping in shape. These research is talking about the majority of single 35 year old women. I’m sure someone is going to say “I have had 5 kids and have better abs than any 21 year old”, but that’s not the point. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 I find it really gross to think that most 40 year old dudes that do OLD spend most time messaging women in early 20s 2 Link to post Share on other sites
edgygirl Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 (edited) Last guy I went on a date from Tinder (early 40s) told me he was really surprised that I have a perfect body, as I had no body pictures in my profile. He said women with fit bodies usually make a point out of it and showing it in pics. I probably did it unconsciously as I didn't even realize it. I really am not looking to attract men looking for sex. I do think I market myself well though, as I match with all the men I want to match with. edit: in the city I live women in their 40s and 50 look great and take really good care of themselves. You can't be a professional woman here and a slob at the same time. As I've said before though, the good news for older women (40+) is that if you have grest looking skin and retain an air of class you should massively increase your options because from.what I see on (Tindrr at least) it is incredible how older women have no idea how to market themselves so they are better than the competition. It honestly looks like most of them have given up trying to make themselves look appealing. Edited January 17, 2019 by edgygirl Link to post Share on other sites
edgygirl Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 Perfect But you don't need "men", you only need one man. Are some "men" going to chase after 21yos? Yes. Are some women going to chase after multi-millionaires? Yes. BUT that doesn't mean everyone else needs to curl up and die... Link to post Share on other sites
LastStraw Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 I agree after few kids things are never the same... Does OKC distinguishes between single women in terms of - never married, divorced, single moms? Even that won’t work because ‘never married’ or listed as such may have had 10 + years LTR which is square the same thing... But I still don’t think 35 and 25 look anything alike. I’m about that age (never married, no kids) and albeit my style drastically improved, the tell tale signs are there... even the mimics and body language changes drastically affect the overall appearance ... even looking good, at 35 youthfulness is gone... There are subtle signs e.g. in the fullness of the face in given areas, that are dead giveaways of age. No way. Remember, OKC considers single 35 year old women only that use their dating site. Married 35 year olds (especially after a few kids) tend to look completely different to a single 35 year olds. Single women are constantly optimazing their looks. What you see on the street are married women that don’t care or are too busy to bother with looks and keeping in shape. These research is talking about the majority of single 35 year old women. I’m sure someone is going to say “I have had 5 kids and have better abs than any 21 year old”, but that’s not the point. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LastStraw Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 I find it really gross to think that most 40 year old dudes that do OLD spend most time messaging women in early 20s Why is that? I’m a woman that always dated older (primarily older and broke men, so not for money or status lol). Somehow men in their 20s repulsed me even when I was myself that age, I found them juvenile. My point is it’s hard to tell why someone prefers a given age group by nothing gross about it... if they like youthfulness, no point to date older because it will be something always missing for them and things won’t work out. Btw other men prefer older- I shared my own BF married a woman that was more than a decade his senior and stayed with her for a long time ... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 FWIW 4 of the last 9 women who have Liked me on match.com are 67 or 68. They, as well as the 62-66s can't keep up with my physical activity level so age, for me, is a 'squeeze'. I want to hike, dance, rock scramble, kayak, and ski. The 62+ women generally want to shop, go on drives in the country, and attend theater. A little OT, but if I were you, I'd leave out rock scrambling and skiing from your profile. I think a lot of women would be willing to do the other things, but those two are more strenuous activities (not to mention skiing involves prior experience and talent) and if a woman has had any kind of knee or ankle injury, she may want to cool it on stuff like that, but be willing to be active in other ways. Maybe you don't even have them in your profile at all. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 I find it really gross to think that most 40 year old dudes that do OLD spend most time messaging women in early 20s But if some of these older guys manage to find some much younger girls who are willing to date them, then who are we to judge? I also find it amusing people would think a 25-yo girl looks the same as a 35-yo woman. I say it as someone who has often been mistaken to be 10 years younger, mostly due to my ethnic background. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 A little OT, but if I were you, I'd leave out rock scrambling and skiing from your profile. I think a lot of women would be willing to do the other things, but those two are more strenuous activities (not to mention skiing involves prior experience and talent) and if a woman has had any kind of knee or ankle injury, she may want to cool it on stuff like that, but be willing to be active in other ways. Maybe you don't even have them in your profile at all. But that defeats the purpose, as he’s looking to date someone who can also be his activity partner! Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 I find it really gross to think that most 40 year old dudes that do OLD spend most time messaging women in early 20s Yes it is the "young enough to be his daughter" that triggers the ick factor, but it seems to me that the ones who get hurt are not the women in their 20s. It is the older guy who thought he had hit the jackpot, to find she wanders away in the direction of greener grass and leaves him heartbroken. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 But that defeats the purpose, as he’s looking to date someone who can also be his activity partner! Yes but he needs to be realistic too, he is finding younger women in their 50s are not interested in him (64yo M), and he is putting great expectations onto 62yo+ women who may be interested, expectations that are getting him into needle in a haystack territory. I also guess at 62yo+ many will already know what it is like to be a "sports widow", hence why I guess shopping, drives in the country and going to the theatre are preferred as they involve close companionship and communication... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 But that defeats the purpose, as he’s looking to date someone who can also be his activity partner! But a woman can still be an activity partner even if she doesn't do ALL the activities . 2 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 "A poor craftsman blames his tools"... TFY 3 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 But a woman can still be an activity partner even if she doesn't do ALL the activities . That’s what I would think. I am never very good at physically demanding sports, but my past and current bfs have been much better in this area. In fact, I have always enjoyed learning from them, even though I can never be at their levels. The key is, the guy has to be willing to teach his lady, and the lady has to have some interest. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 (edited) "A poor craftsman blames his tools"... TFY And what kind of a craftsman would be bitter about his tools? Personally I wouldn’t be with someone who has a history of dating almost exclusively much younger girls; likewise, I would stay away from those who have dated almost exclusively women if my ethnic background. But I wouldn’t be upset at them. Edited January 17, 2019 by JuneL Link to post Share on other sites
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