preraph Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 It's a good point. I'm athletic and have the energy and stamina of a teenager, wear girly dresses and do my hair and makeup nice. On New Year's Eve, my man and I were dancing our butts off and partying till 2:00 am. When we get sporty together, we go hard and long. At least a dozen women told me it was adorable to see us having such a blast together on that dance floor. One of his best friends of decades said he's never seen him so happy and excited Yes! Enjoy it while you can. Even when old, if a man was lively when young, he still longs for a woman to just let her hair down and relax and have a good time when they're old instead of being consumed by the inevitable health issues and, well, grandchildren. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 I watched this and I cracked up. Have you ever seen the fakeness that young women display today? I'm talking about 22 and 23 year olds who abound with Fake hair, wigs, extensions, fake nails, fake butts, fake boobs, pounds and pounds of makeup and fake eyelashes, fake teeth. It's out of control. I mean, they've got the old ladies beat by a loooooong shot in covering up their "real self". Yeah, I remember that, and it's true. Also true is a romp is not possible at some point. You have too many delicate joints and hurt even if you lay on your arm the wrong way. I can put my knee into a very painful situation if I just turn over the wrong way during my sleep. Also, the more fake stuff you put on when old, the worse it looks, even makeup. Wrinkles and makeup don't do well together! Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 In response to Ruby's comment much earlier, I would never encourage a women to marry in her 20s and have children. I would just encourage them to live by themselves independently for at least a couple of years, because if you don't do that, you never know who you are once the "influences" are not influencing you. I think it gives you a better foundation and then once you are ready to marry or have kids, you are confident enough that you can take care of yourself and have a career going that you will not stay in a toxic relationship if that happens. I think young people should live it up. There's plenty of time to settle down around 30. This doesn't mean you don't already meet your man before then, of course. What happens happens. But why get in a hurry. Link to post Share on other sites
The Dude Abides Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 OP, I think I read that you are 44. No way is that too old to attract anyone. Not all men are interested in pursuing women who are much younger. And some men actually appreciate the look of a mature woman rather than a young hotty. I am one of those men. Mrs Dude Abides in many ways looks better to me now than when we met. She has gotten more feminine, softer and curvier, more filled out. She is sexy as hell and I am quite certain there are other older men checking her out. Yes I know guys my age who left their “mature” wife to pursue and hook up with a GF who looks like she could still be in college. But for many of us? That just isn’t the goal. Many many men want a woman who is a mature woman and not a young woman or immature woman. Eye candy is great to look at but it’s not satisfying to many older guys. Yes, I do to take note of the eye candy (it’s everywhere !) but I have no interest in putting my hand in the candy dish. Even if I weren’t married , I wouldn’t be interested in anything other than women close to my age. That’s just one man’s perspective. HTH 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 I don't see what we have now as better. A bunch of 40+ women with nothing to show for their lives but a big house full of nice but ultimately meaningless stuff, who take more drugs to cope with the emptiness than any generation of women in history. The bedrock of any healthy society is strong, healthy families. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
The Dude Abides Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 I watched this and I cracked up. Have you ever seen the fakeness that young women display today? I'm talking about 22 and 23 year olds who abound with Fake hair, wigs, extensions, fake nails, fake butts, fake boobs, pounds and pounds of makeup and fake eyelashes, fake teeth. It's out of control. I mean, they've got the old ladies beat by a loooooong shot in covering up their "real self". LOL Snowcones, that was funny. But true. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 In our opinion young women did not need to be taught to "find the right man, get married, start a family" as it's been culturally pretty much foisted upon women for millennia. Heck, read these boards, we're constantly bombarded with opinions about how women are "wasting their youth" by not getting right down to procreation ASAP. I agree....But then you get the constant "woe is me, my best years have passed me by and no guys want me" crap... Point is, live your life and accept whatever comes...Everything is a give and take to some degree... TFY Link to post Share on other sites
brigit87 Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 I agree....But then you get the constant "woe is me, my best years have passed me by and no guys want me" crap... Point is, live your life and accept whatever comes...Everything is a give and take to some degree... TFY It is more difficult for older women than older men to find partners. And I'm sure at 44 OP does have lots of men checking her out but also at that age men are either married or divorced or never been married and that isn't the best men to choose from. It's hard to find someone great in your 20's but there is a lot more to choose from. That's a fact. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 It is more difficult for older women than older men to find partners. And I'm sure at 44 OP does have lots of men checking her out but also at that age men are either married or divorced or never been married and that isn't the best men to choose from. It's hard to find someone great in your 20's but there is a lot more to choose from. That's a fact. Well...then you pretty much limited your available pool to zero.... TFY 2 Link to post Share on other sites
brigit87 Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 Well...then you pretty much limited your available pool to zero.... TFY LOL! I guess that's why OP is so frustrated. She really doesn't have the cream of the crop to choose from. There is a bit of truth in "all the good ones are taken." However, there are always exceptions. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 I don't see what we have now as better. A bunch of 40+ women with nothing to show for their lives but a big house full of nice but ultimately meaningless stuff, who take more drugs to cope with the emptiness than any generation of women in history. The bedrock of any healthy society is strong, healthy families. I love my house and stuff and pets. I'm happy and less harried than my married friends. I don't take drugs or drink. I work a lot but I have my interests and I get out of the house regularly. I think it's harsh to say "nothing to show for their lives," as if babies are the only thing that matters! Some of us had better things to do and don't have any regrets about it. For people whose priority and greatest love is to have children, that's what they do. But not everyone is like that. They're just not. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 I don't see what we have now as better. A bunch of 40+ women with nothing to show for their lives but a big house full of nice but ultimately meaningless stuff, who take more drugs to cope with the emptiness than any generation of women in history. The bedrock of any healthy society is strong, healthy families. I love my house and stuff and pets. I'm happy and less harried than my married friends. I don't take drugs or drink. I work a lot but I have my interests and I get out of the house regularly. I think it's harsh to say "nothing to show for their lives," as if babies are the only thing that matters! Some of us had better things to do and don't have any regrets about it. For people whose priority and greatest love is to have children, that's what they do. But not everyone is like that. They're just not. Every 20-something should at least wait until the part of their brain that can predict consequences is formed, which doesn't happen until the mid-twenties before making life changing decisions. Every person should have time to discover, expand and explore and find out who they are when not under someone's wing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 Well...then you pretty much limited your available pool to zero.... TFY Yes, that's true. There's no reason to write off a man because he's been married before, and a man who hasn't could have changed and be ready to be married. Lord knows it took me until I was well into my forties (woman here) before I felt any urge to settle down and be the least bit domestic. Be open minded. Kids are one thing that it's just up to the person to decide if they can handle or not. But date to have fun and people, even with kids, have different levels of involvement and might have fun grown kids or something if you're lucky. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted January 11, 2019 Share Posted January 11, 2019 I get hit on pretty regularly. Last week it was some 20-something dude wanting me to hang out with him. And a few days before that boys my kids age were wanting me to go to the club with them because they had an extra ticket and it was an open bar. I don’t know what that’s about but it creeps me out. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted January 11, 2019 Share Posted January 11, 2019 I think that some women are never too old to attract someone and others can reach their sell by date at almost any age. Some are "done" in their twenties, almost as soon as their youth starts to fade. Their attraction to men was purely external/physical, they had no real intrinsic value, so get washed up pretty quick. Others get so beaten up by their experiences that their attractiveness factor to normal men is minimal. Others coast through life, almost ignoring real relationships so they have no idea how to conduct themselves with men, so men pass them by. Others are so picky, no-one matches up so they effectively remove themselves from the dating market. Chronologically many may be still pretty young but they are too "old" and "done" mentally and psychologically to attract anyone. Everyone says you are never too old, but I think some just are. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 11, 2019 Share Posted January 11, 2019 I get hit on pretty regularly. Last week it was some 20-something dude wanting me to hang out with him. And a few days before that boys my kids age were wanting me to go to the club with them because they had an extra ticket and it was an open bar. I don’t know what that’s about but it creeps me out. yeah I figured you were pretty good lookin Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted January 11, 2019 Share Posted January 11, 2019 yeah I figured you were pretty good lookin I’m really not at all. Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted January 11, 2019 Share Posted January 11, 2019 I don't see what we have now as better. A bunch of 40+ women with nothing to show for their lives but a big house full of nice but ultimately meaningless stuff, who take more drugs to cope with the emptiness than any generation of women in history. In my experience, people who feel that they are leading empty meaningless lives when they've followed a career path that they chose for themselves are also likely to be miserable married folks. The bedrock of any healthy society is strong, healthy families. Sounds like fundamentalist doctrine. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted January 11, 2019 Share Posted January 11, 2019 Ok, my comment was judgmental. I just think that a lot of older women are unfulfilled with the "carefree single life" that was sold to them, by design. Depression among older women - people in general - living single/alone is a big problem, and a sad one. My main message is that no one is too old to love and be loved. And the best way to attract love... is to be as happy and loving as you can will yourself to be. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted January 11, 2019 Share Posted January 11, 2019 (edited) According to some show l was watching on evolution and humanity , it was a US show l'm not in the US but they said on that , women now are more unhappy and unfulfilled after all their crap over the last 50yrs , than ever in history. Don't shoot the messenger , that was just the result of their studies . So Ruby might be onto something. Personally if forums are anything to go by , l'd just like to know what's happened to younger guys these days. 25 yr olds now seem like 15yr olds of my day , on here moaning because she hasn't replied to his text does she like hie does she not bla bla. My old man was married with 2 kids , building his own house own hands and running a business at 25. l was living with my first serious gf at 17. Thing is , one of my woman's friends is only 27, gorgeous girl, body, personality , heart, and she'd make the best gf or wife you could find. But guess what , she can't find a bf , let alone a husband she really wants to get married. Been single 3yrs. l know so do many at that age but point is, l just can not for the life of me figure out from a guy , 50s, or of looking back to my 20s point of view looking in , how she is even single. She'd last about 2 days back in my 20s. l mean things have definitely changed, big big big time. And we all know that but yeah , something going on too in this whole singles world of all ages out there these days , yaknow. Edited January 11, 2019 by chillii 1 Link to post Share on other sites
edgygirl Posted January 11, 2019 Share Posted January 11, 2019 (edited) People are jumping on Ruby Slippers for her comment about it being advantageous to find the one as a woman in your 20s / early 30s max but I wholeheartedly agree with her. No one told me either that things get too complicated as you get older. People get jaded, you meet less people as your circle narrows down, the good ones get taken... and these days you're left with toxic OLD as the main way to meet people. I was always professionally minded, focused mainly on that although still looking for a man, and thought things would fall into place romantically. It doesn't happen like that. It just doesn't. Anecdotal statements don't look at the big picture that it's just much better to focus on finding the one when you're still around college or master degree age. It sounds old fashioned and chauvinistic but... it's simply the truth. I also wish someone made that clear for me when I was younger. Edited January 11, 2019 by edgygirl 2 Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted January 11, 2019 Share Posted January 11, 2019 Ok, my comment was judgmental. I just think that a lot of older women are unfulfilled with the "carefree single life" that was sold to them, by design. Depression among older women - people in general - living single/alone is a big problem, and a sad one. I'm not trying to pick on you, sincerely interested in getting to the bottom of this: Why do you believe that the idea that women can lead a fulfilled life, have a career and perhaps not marry and create a nuclear family has been "sold to them by design"? In my lifetime I've only seen the opportunities for women increase. The option of a traditional family has never been taken off the table. And by whose nefarious design? Again, in my personal experience - my grandmother was a suffragette and graduated from UC Berkeley, she had a lot to say about all of this while we were growing up - the fairly recent explosion of opportunities for women has been driven by movements created by women, who had no intention of messing up the lives of other women. Sure, commerce followed this when it clearly was a cash cow, "you can have it all" etc. Nobody can have it all. Also, are you aware of the almost mythical trope of the miserable "mad housewife"? Popping Valium, drinking on the downlow, affair having, etc. I don't have the overall impression that historically married women have been a lot "happier" than unmarried women in the USA. I really think it's down to the individual. My main message is that no one is too old to love and be loved. And the best way to attract love... is to be as happy and loving as you can will yourself to be. I agree. With regards to this thread, there is not an age limit on that. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted January 11, 2019 Share Posted January 11, 2019 Ok, my comment was judgmental. I just think that a lot of older women are unfulfilled with the "carefree single life" that was sold to them, by design. Depression among older women - people in general - living single/alone is a big problem, and a sad one. My main message is that no one is too old to love and be loved. And the best way to attract love... is to be as happy and loving as you can will yourself to be. Yes, but by the same token, I know plenty of women who got married, had kids, and are living unfulfilled lives. Life is what you make of it, and while children/family will absolutely enhance it for many people, those things aren't a fail safe to avoid feeling an empty existence. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted January 11, 2019 Share Posted January 11, 2019 No one told me either that things get too complicated as you get older. People get jaded, you meet less people as your circle narrows down, the good ones get taken... and these days you're left with toxic OLD as the main way to meet people. I was always professionally minded, focused mainly on that although still looking for a man, and thought things would fall into place romantically. It doesn't happen like that. It just doesn't. Anecdotal statements don't look at the big picture that it's just much better to focus on finding the one when you're still around college or master degree age. It sounds old fashioned and chauvinistic but... it's simply the truth. I also wish someone made that clear for me when I was younger. I really believe that if you truly wanted to settle down in your 20's you would have done so, but you prioritized other things because they were more important to you. Now evidently you have regrets, and wish you'd married. This seems like "hindsight is 20/20." Perhaps all those who are now sorry they didn't marry and have children young actually would not have been happier had they done so. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
edgygirl Posted January 11, 2019 Share Posted January 11, 2019 I feel some families (like mine) are less strict, and tell you to follow your dreams, when in truth parenting is also about guiding your children on how the world works (big picture wise). Mine were loving parents but they did not guide me. Knowing what I know now, I'd never leave a daughter blindsided like that to the realities of the world. I think that's what Ruby was talking about. While many people may marry the wrong person when young, I feel that's not the default situation. In fact my older sister married at 22 (despite my parents lack of guidance she's always been more decisive and had better self-protection instincts) and they're the happiest couple I know for over 30 years. I really believe that if you truly wanted to settle down in your 20's you would have done so, but you prioritized other things because they were more important to you. Now evidently you have regrets, and wish you'd married. This seems like "hindsight is 20/20." Perhaps all those who are now sorry they didn't marry and have children young actually would not have been happier had they done so. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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