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I'm too old to attract anyone


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thefooloftheyear

Unless a woman looks like a 350 lb warthog, there will always be plenty of hound dogs looking for a chance...Even the warthogs get some love as well..You would be amazed at what some guys will stick their dick in...

 

I don't know if that really proves anything....

 

TFY

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I’ve read recently that men will cling to a biological stance when it comes to the reasons why men and women do things, and women will default to a societal norm. That’s not too hard to believe, since men benefit from the tired biological tropes. That’s why they keep repeating the same old thing.

 

Well if we do benefit from it then why would a man change it? In a dog eat dog society it is perfectly natural to want to bend the odds in your favor and work in your own interest. I don't see women trying to change the things that work in their favor. I am not saying I agree with him on youth and men naturally being attracted to young women but working in your own interest is a natural thing. People in general from all groups tend to be selfish.

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I'm not young anymore yet have men knocking on my door non stop. I could go on several dates per day if I wanted to. How old are you?

 

My age doesn't have anything to do with evolutionary biology.

 

Men are as loyal as their options. All things being equal, men will naturally select the younger woman if they can. If these men dating you had the option to be with an attractive, hot, 21, year old, they would. Why? Youthful women are more likely to succeed in bearing children. Before the modern era, women were highly likely to die from childbirth. Men are programmed genetically to be attracted to young women. Are they a slave to that? No, obviously people get married and stay committed, but a lot of people cheat. I'm not being disrespectful. I know for a fact a woman would leave me in a second if Leonardo DeCaprio invited her to his yacht. Women are as loyal as the resources a man can provide, if they are optimizing their hypergamy. Of course, if they are in alpha hunting mode, they'll chase the bad boy for his genetic capacity. Alpha seed, beta need. It's just the way of the world.

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Ahhhh, way way way over analyzed into ridiculous pieces as usual. As if we need some study giving you some mumbo jumbo as to why a guy might go for some hot young chick and l guarantee he ain't thinkin about babies either and neither is she with some actor.

l mean they can bullshyt on all they want but it ain't rocket science.

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Disagree. Because in my late 30s I've dated handsome early 30s yo who were successful lawyers making tons of money who could easily get a 21 yo. Now in my 40s I still date handsome lawyers, financiers, MBA holders, entrepreneurs who could easily get a 30ish yo yet they keep knocking on my door.

 

I remember when I joined LS there was a group of men that kept posting this stuff you're saying and I almost believed them, it was a depressing time when I started dating again. Experience proved it wrong for me. I am dating a man in his early 40s now and I'm on the other side of the 40s and he seems both physically and emotionally attracted to me. I date men around my age and they don't seem in the least interested in going for a 30ish yo.

 

I do believe in biology and evolution. Sure we are attracted to providers biologically so they can take care of us and children if needed. And yes men want fertile women. And yes I still feel some biological necessity to have someone who is a good provider. But things are changing evolution-wise and I feel it very clearly. Ie my eggs are frozen so I can still have children if it doesn't happen naturally. Women also don't depend on a man to survive anymore. Might take a little more time, but evolution will take care of the things you mention.

 

Leonardo DiCaprio is one of the least attractive males in the world in my opinion and I wouldn't want him if he was covered in gold. Which he prob is haha. If a woman will leave you just because a rich guy invited them, you're prob circulating with the wrong women. My two sisters were courted by super rich brothers, one married a brother and still strong for 30 years because they're a good match, the other dumped his brother to be with a blue collar worker because she loves him better. You talk as if all women only want money as the #1 thing, and men only want youth. Things are not so black and white in the world.

 

Btw I married a millionaire heir in his 20s when I was in my 30s. LOL. Evolutionary biology is a pretty theory but not black/white.

 

My age doesn't have anything to do with evolutionary biology.

 

<snip>

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My age doesn't have anything to do with evolutionary biology.

 

Men are as loyal as their options. All things being equal, men will naturally select the younger woman if they can. If these men dating you had the option to be with an attractive, hot, 21, year old, they would. <snip>.

 

What planet do you live in?

 

Seriously with all this men programmed A and women programmed X nonsense.

 

We aren’t robots.

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thefooloftheyear
Disagree. Because in my late 30s I've dated handsome early 30s yo who were successful lawyers making tons of money who could easily get a 21 yo. Now in my 40s I still date handsome lawyers, financiers, MBA holders, entrepreneurs who could easily get a 30ish yo yet they keep knocking on my door.

 

.

 

I hear middle aged women say this all the time..So what happened then??

 

Sorry...no disrespect, but here you are......still here.....still waiting for Mr Wonderful to sweep you off your feet and ride off into the sunset in the S class to the house in the Hamptons...…

 

All this time, yet you let all those winners go? None of them were good enough?

 

Eh....I dunno….Forgive me for saying this, but it makes no sense...to me, anyway..;)

 

TFY

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But if you had married your college bf and had stayed married, you might regret not having explored the world first. And why did things not work out with your then husband?

 

Yes GenX but at 27 I ran from my university boyfriend who wanted to marry me. He was the best bf I ever had. But I felt I had places to go and things to do before getting married. My family has always been adventurous worldly people, and I'm like that too. I was not in a rush to marry before getting where I wanted to. I did get where I wanted... but then it became more and more difficult to find the right person. I did get married once but that's not the point here.
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some_username1
I'm not young anymore yet have men knocking on my door non stop. I could go on several dates per day if I wanted to. How old are you?

 

With respect there is a difference between sex and relationships, women want relationships not sex. You may be getting offers of dates from men with entirely wholesome intentions but I wager that most women are not.

 

I speak with some experience- I am late 30s but am considered very young looking for my age which is a super massive problem in attracting early 30s women (I had a 23 year old hit on me in a club the other week, she guessed my age at 25 and ran off when I told her the truth ?). But on OLD I am quite popular with the 40+ women- they love the fact that they can be seen out and about with a guy who puts effort into appearance and looks late 20s. It's a good option in terms of having a quick fling as older women who still look in shape and have a great body are seriously hot to me because it's so rare, but would I consider a long term relationship with one? Absolutely not. I am dead set on a cute, girl next door type, late 20s, early 30s, no kids, no tattoos, no messed up botox lips- they don't even make them anymore from what I can see so long term I'm pretty much ****ed ?

 

But anyway, the point I'm making is that men are almost always looking to tie down younger women so while women 40+ will have options they need to be very careful to weed out guys for whom they are a sex option only. Some may find that once they have it's slim pickings that are left.

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Unless a woman looks like a 350 lb warthog, there will always be plenty of hound dogs looking for a chance...Even the warthogs get some love as well..You would be amazed at what some guys will stick their dick in...

 

I don't know if that really proves anything....

 

TFY

 

hahahaha unfortunately I am laughing but based off of what I have seen in

my lifetime this is 100% true. I do not fall into this category though, but have many friends who do/did lol

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I hear middle aged women say this all the time..So what happened then??

 

<snip>

 

You didn't know? Women in their 60s can easily get millionaire 20 year old men to fall in love with them. These men don't want 21 year old fitness models. ;)

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What happened? I was married to a millionaire heir as I said. It didn't work out. I'm looking again. I know myself better now. So?... All relationships are supposed to work out? Weird comment to be honest.

 

I hear middle aged women say this all the time..So what happened then??

 

<snip>

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Of course there is a difference. Do I look that naive? :) I only date men who are looking for LTRs and make it EXTREMELY clear in my profile so it's rare to get someone who's mainly looking for sex and kinda faking it. I'm not saying it doesn't ever happen, but these days it's 1% of the cases, as a divorced rebounder I dated briefly this year until I realized he was a rebounder.

 

I honestly don't care much about looks as I care about intelligence -- so I am not the type of woman you're talking about. In fact I don't like typical fit men, I like husky ones. I also don't care much for younger men, I put it explicitly in my profile that I will BLOCK men under 40 because men in their 20s and 30s kept writing me non stop. That made these messages stop and I'm really happy for it.

 

Thanks for the advice anyway though.

 

With respect there is a difference between sex and relationships, women want relationships not sex. You may be getting offers of dates from men with entirely wholesome intentions but I wager that most women are not.

 

<snip>

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I don't think these negative conversations are really making the OP feel very positive about her situation. I mean, is she right? Is she too old to find a partner? That seems to be what the majority are saying, although I don't agree with that.

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I hear all this talk about biological wiring and fertility and I know there's some truth in it, but as someone who's single in his thirties yet around the college-aged demographic a handful of times a week, I'm pretty sure no amount of fertility is gonna make me give more serious consideration to most of these gals that someone who's closer to my age and has her sh*t together.

 

Yeah, the younger set is nice to look at and do casual hook-ups with, but my god, I don't have the patience to deal with the typical person that age within the parameters of a serious relationship.

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Honestly when I hear some college aged women talk I think most days I would rather date a 70 year old. That is a little too old for me but Gen X women are the best.

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thefooloftheyear
What happened? I was married to a millionaire heir as I said. It didn't work out. I'm looking again. I know myself better now. So?... All relationships are supposed to work out? Weird comment to be honest.

 

 

 

No one I have ever known with a lot of quality options is seemingly perpetually "looking for the right one" ….They have options to choose from and just about any of them would make an ideal long term partner..

 

So unless they aren't looking(which isn't you), it raises eyebrows when year after year they cant somehow make anything work, despite all these amazing high quality options they claim to have at their feet..

 

I know at this age(yours), its not that easy for ANY woman to find quality guys...They (women) probably outnumber guys 25:1 at this stage-ant that's probably a conservative number....These guys are very selective because they can be...

 

TFY

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thefooloftheyear
I don't think these negative conversations are really making the OP feel very positive about her situation. I mean, is she right? Is she too old to find a partner? That seems to be what the majority are saying, although I don't agree with that.

 

Here is what I have seen as someone that's been around a while...

 

Women that maybe used to get a ton of attention from quality guys, then time goes by(they spent their years building a career or being married, etc), now that they are back in the game, realize that a lot has changed...A lot of the better quality guys are married up with families, aren't leaving, and the ones left aren't what they really want....The few guys that are "top shelf" and available at a later stage, have the luxury of going younger or picking from the one's left that are at the top of the heap in terms of looks/body/etc...

 

 

I think the main issue and probably the main reason for this imbalance is good women will leave bad marriages and a lot of good guys don't...That's really the long and short of it...While there are some good guys that do leave, they get scooped up immediately...

 

One of my closer friends (late 40's) recently divorced.>He probably wouldn't have left, but wife kept saying she was "unhappy"...so he left...He's a great guy in all respects...Stable, good personality/likable. no hang ups, good career, etc..but looks wise, maybe a 4...Typical middle aged guy physique, gut hanging over belt, hair loss, etc...This guy put himself on OLD and had women all over the place...He's settled in with one now and seems happy..

 

It's not "over" for anyone...Id only contend that if I were a woman at this stage, and trying to snag one of these better quality guys, I would probably spend most of my time trying to look as good as possible...I don't care what type of guy you are trying to attract, the truck driver or the college professor, the primary things that attract these guys remains the same..Sure, it probably sucks that it has to be this way, but that seems to be the case, IME anyway...

 

TFY

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Ok let's go there - I've said it elsewhere here. I recently realized I probably have a fearful avoidant attachment style. I sabotage my relationships. You can look it up for more insight. Now all my relationships trouble post divorce make sense. I will have to start working on it.

 

But again, in first 5-15 dates the issues don't really come out but eventually they do. So - in the beginning I have no trouble whatsoever attracting men because of my age as certain guys are implying here. In fact they usually seem to start falling for me... until I find flaws in them and a way to escape.

 

Not to mention I'm extremely picky, and will only stay with someone who complements me personality wise (rare to find)

 

Satisfied? Yeah I have some psychological attachment issues from childhood that affect my relationships especially lately. Attracting men is not one of my issues. You can believe or not believe. You don't know me in real life, not sure what difference it makes and why would I be insisting here if it was a lie.

 

I have quality guys matched every day. I opened bumble today for 20 minutes swiped left on 30 and the 3 I liked and swiped right all matched with me: VP at an Ad Company, 43 / Attorney Litigator, 52 / Psychoanalyst, 48. I am also talking with 2 other lawyers ages 48 and 45 and a financier 43. Quality enough for me... and many. And I could get much more but I tend to freeze the apps cause it's too many matches, and I even have to filter those I do match cause I can't take that many to try to go on dates. Not sure where you're taking the 25:1 ratio and that it's difficult for women... LOL. Seriously.

 

<snip>

I know at this age(yours), its not that easy for ANY woman to find quality guys...They (women) probably outnumber guys 25:1 at this stage-ant that's probably a conservative number....These guys are very selective because they can be...

 

TFY

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thefooloftheyear
<snip>

But again, in first 5-15 dates the issues don't really come out but eventually they do. So - in the beginning I have no trouble whatsoever attracting men because of my age as certain guys are implying here. In fact they usually seem to start falling for me... until I find flaws in them and a way to escape.

<snip>

 

 

And I'll say it again...Practically no woman with breasts and a vagina has much trouble attracting men....yes, even "quality" men....

 

Here's something else to consider...Especially as we live in the same locale...

 

Around here, the type of guys you are mentioning, unless they are ugly as shyt or have some other mental problems would NEVER bother with OLD unless they were just trolling for easy and desperate women...Why would they have to resort to that mess of a venue when there are legions of good looking women fighting over them in real life.??..

 

I don't want to do this back and forth with you...I made an observation and you disagree with it...So be it....I hope everything works out for you and I am sorry for your self sabotaging issues..;)

 

TFY

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You know what? You have no idea what you're talking about, you're obviously not dating men in this city, and I am done with this discussion with you. I mean it. By what you're saying I'm either clueless on whom I'm dating, naively taken advantage of, or dating non-existent ghosts in my head. You also have a lot of pre-conceptions in your head.

 

So the Director of Medicine of one of the largest universities medical centers I dated last year i.e. "would NEVER bother with OLD (...) or was just trolling for easy and desperate women", as well as one of the partners in one of the largest law firms in the city I dated last month and a Managing Director at one of the big banks also from last year. Just google how much they make and tell me how desperate they are haha. Yeah... cause that's the kind of men I date... don't think they're desperate :D

 

LOL!!! Hilarious. Go get a clue, TFY. I'd appreciate if you stopped responding to my posts. Adios.

 

And I'll say it again...Practically no woman with breasts and a vagina has much trouble attracting men....yes, even "quality" men....

 

<snip>

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thefooloftheyear
<snip>

So the Director of Medicine of one of the largest universities medical centers I dated last year i.e. "would NEVER bother with OLD (...) or was just trolling for easy and desperate women", as well as one of the partners in one of the largest law firms in the city I dated last month and a Managing Director at one of the big banks also from last year. Just google how much they make and tell me how desperate they are haha. Yeah... cause that's the kind of men I date... don't think they're desperate :D

 

<snip>

 

Yep..I'm so clueless that I'm not asking for help,. you are...:lmao:

 

No one cares what their title is or what they do.They aren't with you...The fact that you bring it up constantly is telling...

 

Its becoming pretty clear why you can't find anyone...But again...I do wish you well..;)

 

TFY

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Yep..I'm so clueless that I'm not asking for help,. you are...:lmao:

 

No one cares what their title is or what they do.They aren't with you...The fact that you bring it up constantly is telling...

 

Its becoming pretty clear why you can't find anyone...But again...I do wish you well..;)

 

TFY

 

I actually agreed with some of your points, but you seem to take your own experience (including observations about your peer group) as a religious gospel. It could be true that, on average, men prefer younger women. But your gospel doesn’t apply to my own peer very well. And who’s to say Edgegirl is not in the top 1% lookwise?

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The funny thing is this man brings up that the kind of men I mentioned would NEVER bother with OLD and are just trolling for easy and desperate women.

 

When I give some relevant examples of the kind of men I meet on OLD to refute his obviously inaccurate assumptions, he says no one cares about their title (Oh so powerful & wealthy men need to troll for desperate women? Interesting concept, bro!) and accuses me of "bringing it up constantly". Say what? :lmao:

 

[]

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