Women starting a new job while hiding being pregnant

[amaysngrace]

This is a different situation from what most of us are complaining about. First, she has a choice in the matter. She is volunteering to pick up the shifts. Some of us aren't given a choice, the workload is simply dumped on us. Second, she is being compensated for her time. Yes, she is missing out on holiday pay, but she is still getting paid for covering the shift. Many of us do not get paid for the extra time we have to put in to cover the slack created by parents.

 

Maybe you can consider it your contribution to the future of mankind then. I don’t understand how some people without children don’t like people who do have them.

 

Is it a selfish thing that comes with being out for #1 always and only out for #1 always? I know my sister wasn’t like that. She never had kids and was salaried like you speak of but when she was having a bad day at the office she’d go sit at her one colleague’s desk and look at all the pictures on the desk of their kids. Her colleague had boys, beautiful children, and seeing them put a smile on my sister’s face.

 

Slacking?? That’s funny. I bet some of those parents can’t wait to return to work because they’re in desperate need of some down time.

 

24/7/52 for 18+ is hardly a schedule kept by one who slacks.

[Shining One]

This puzzles me coming from you, especially given your strong feelings about women splitting bills 50/50.

Option 2 you and other posters don't agree with either because apparently it makes the woman a "gold-digger".

I only feel this way about childless women who expect to be provided for. I don't expect pregnant or women with small children responsibilities to fully shoulder their share of financial responsibilities.

What solution do you propose?

Personally, I think the company should shoulder the responsibility. They should spend the money to properly fill the resource gap. Now, if I were a business owner, I might feel differently.

[Shining One]

I don’t understand how some people without children don’t like people who do have them.

I have worked with plenty of parents who have never created additional work for me or my team. There is no dislike for them. There are also plenty of childless people who unduly burden their coworkers with more work. There is dislike for them. The dislike stems from the workload, not the parents.

Slacking?? That’s funny. I bet some of those parents can’t wait to return to work because they’re in desperate need of some down time.

I wasn't implying that the parents themselves are slackers. I was saying there was a slack in the work output. A person may output 40 hours of work before becoming a parent. That output may drop to 32 hours after becoming a parent. The slack I'm referring to is the 8 hours of work output that is now missing.

[amaysngrace]

I wasn't implying that the parents themselves are slackers. I was saying there was a slack in the work output. A person may output 40 hours of work before becoming a parent. That output may drop to 32 hours after becoming a parent. The slack I'm referring to is the 8 hours of work output that is now missing.

 

Then you’re different than me then because at work I like being busy. It makes the time go by much quicker.

 

Funny that you concern yourself with keeping track of the productivity of others while at work though. I would have thought you’d be too busy picking up the slack to even notice.

[Shining One]

I just thought of an additional solution. The company can provide extra compensation to existing employees who volunteer to fill in the resource gap.

[Shining One]

Funny that you concern yourself with keeping track of the productivity of others while at work though. I would have thought you’d be too busy picking up the slack to even notice.

When you manage a team, their productivity is your responsibility. When other departments are taking hours from your team, you need to track it. In fact, I was instructed to do so by the CIO (our department head). If it reached above a certain amount, he would address it with HR.

[amaysngrace]

When you manage a team, their productivity is your responsibility. When other departments are taking hours from your team, you need to track it. In fact, I was instructed to do so by the CIO (our department head). If it reached above a certain amount, he would address it with HR.

 

Then what’s the problem? If it’s been documented that you’re short-staffed, how does it make you, as team leader, responsible for lossed productivity because someone in the company is out on a maternity?

 

That makes no sense.

 

If you are being held accountable though I’d say it’s more a corporate policy matter rather than the fault of someone who is growing their family unless they chose you as leader specifically because they knew you’d get the job done regardless of any set backs you and your team may face. Then it falls squarely on you for underperforming in the job you’ve been given.

[losangelena]

I only feel this way about childless women who expect to be provided for. I don't expect pregnant or women with small children responsibilities to fully shoulder their share of financial responsibilities.

 

But how does an independent single lady all of a sudden turn into a mother who needs to be supported? A woman okay with splitting the bill while she’s dating will probably be okay with marrying a man who cannot fully support a family with just his income, so ... she’ll have to keep working, right?

[noelle303]

I think a year of paid leave is ridiculous. A company should pay for a worker who isn't there? That is nuts. I got my 12 weeks of unpaid leave, and I used some vacation time. It has been adequate for me. I'll be going back to work after Thanksgiving, even though I'm returning already pregnant with #2. If I end up deciding I want to be a full-time mother, I'll quit. You can't live in two worlds, and I think it is unfair to expect to be paid for work that I'm not doing.

 

You have a lot of help at home and a large family to help take care of your baby.

 

You might feel differently if you had to pay huge amounts of money for daycare, starting when your kid is 12 weeks old. Not to mention that you haven't been paid during this whole time.

 

The US maternity system is absolutely ridiculous and it's not surprising that it pretty much stands alone when comparing it with the rest of the civilized world.

 

My daughter started daycare when she was 6 months old, I was going back to work and school and it literally cost me almost as much as my rent. And there was no choice for me to simply quit my job - as a single mother, I was entirely financially responsible for her.

 

It's baffling to me that people think this whole thing is as simple as "well, you're not working, why should you be paid", when it is such a hugely complex issue that involves recovering from a medical condition (pregnancy and childbirth), childcare, financial wellness, optimal start in life for an infant and many more.

 

People aren't lounging on a beach when they're on maternity leave.

 

Not to mention that people put their time, energy, dedication and work into a company - yes, they should be compensated while on maternity leave, just like they should be compensated while they're ill or dealing with other life situations that prevent them from coming in that day.

[Els]

I only feel this way about childless women who expect to be provided for. I don't expect pregnant or women with small children responsibilities to fully shoulder their share of financial responsibilities.

 

 

How will those women know if the man is willing (and able) to singlehandedly provide for the family if he isn't willing to pay an extra $20 on a date? It would make much more sense for them to select men who display their willingness and ability to provide early on, BEFORE making the commitment to bear the man's children, if they wanted to be a SAHM (which is apparently the only way a woman can have kids without pissing off all their colleagues, according to this thread).

 

 

 

 

Personally, I think the company should shoulder the responsibility. They should spend the money to properly fill the resource gap.

I do agree with this.

[Penguin_hugs]

I know of someone who told her employer on her second day that she was pregnant and due to go on maternity leave in less than 2 months... so 1 year of leave on full pay... (only because she'd been working at another NHS hospital previously). I thought that was a bit cheeky. They weren't allowed to employ someonelse for Mat leave so they were then just short staffed for another year and then she negotiated her hours to part time after too!

[littleblackheart]

What a thoroughly depressing thread.

[anika99]

This is a different situation from what most of us are complaining about. First, she has a choice in the matter. She is volunteering to pick up the shifts. Some of us aren't given a choice, the workload is simply dumped on us. Second, she is being compensated for her time. Yes, she is missing out on holiday pay, but she is still getting paid for covering the shift. Many of us do not get paid for the extra time we have to put in to cover the slack created by parents.

 

It is despicable of your company to expect their employees to work overtime with no pay. That is illegal where I live and you should direct your ire where it belongs, at the company.

[eleanorrigby]

I was fortunate enough to stay home with both my kids until they entered kindergarten. I had no idea how blessed I was to not have to put up with other women's vitriol towards me when they were so little and I was so young and sensitive. It would have hurt.

I did get some of it when I went to work after they started school, but I can see how it would have been much worse.

 

My son has asthma and I was in and out of the doctor with him when he was a baby until he got diagnosed at 5, and for a few years after that, until we got it somewhat under control. It would have sucked to have to deal with other women giving me dirty looks, snide remarks and whispering about me to other co-workers because I needed time off from work.

 

I also had to caretake my father for a few years after he had a head injury.

His illnesses, ER visits, and hospitalizations caused me more time off from work than my kids.

 

If I were a childless woman upset about something like this, I would try to take advantage of the opportunity to show off just how childless, unencumbered and ready to work that I am.

Use the situation to move up in the company or field.

[littleblackheart]

If I were a childless woman upset about something like this, I would try to take advantage of the opportunity to show off just how childless, unencumbered and ready to work that I am.

Use the situation to move up in the company or field.

 

4 of the closest women I have in my life are child-free, 2 of them my sisters and 2 of them my closest friends. All 4 of them have great careers and none begrudge their working parent (ie mothers, let's not fool ourselves) colleagues.

 

It must be exhausting seeing only the bad in people.

[preraph]

4 of the closest women I have in my life are child-free, 2 of them my sisters and 2 of them my closest friends. All 4 of them have great careers and none begrudge their working parent (ie mothers, let's not fool ourselves) colleagues.

 

It must be exhausting seeing only the bad in people.

 

Right, like you did with that comment.

[littleblackheart]

Right, like you did with that comment.

 

I've literally just explained the child-free women in my life are successful, open-minded people who don't have a bee in their bonnet about working mothers. How is that seeing the bad in people?

 

I personally find it much easier to live my life surrounded by positive people who build others up, and focus on the good. Like I said, it must be draining focusing on the bad.

[preraph]

^ Yes, it must.

[Eternal Sunshine]

As long as they don't directly affect my workload, I don't care.

 

 

Next time one of them announces "I am going to pick up my kid from school, be back in 65 minutes". I am going to get up and say "right, I really need some new shoes. Better get there before the shop closes :D"

[edgygirl]

Gosh... this is when I dislike the US and wonder what am I doing here.

 

In all other first world countries this would be a non issue.

 

Would you also not hire a man who is pregnant? smdh.

 

I really dislike the lack of compassion that's so prevalent in the US. You don't know how desperately she needs the money. I see no problem whatsoever in hiring a pregnant woman, and the answers here show why it's a protected class. Thanks gawd.

[amaysngrace]

Gosh... this is when I dislike the US and wonder what am I doing here.

 

In all other first world countries this would be a non issue.

 

Would you also not hire a man who is pregnant? smdh.

 

I really dislike the lack of compassion that's so prevalent in the US. You don't know how desperately she needs the money. I see no problem whatsoever in hiring a pregnant woman, and the answers here show why it's a protected class. Thanks gawd.

 

Yea but the lack of compassion comes from people other than moms, have you noticed?

 

And that’s probably a good thing.

[edgygirl]

I didn't because I could not even get through first page, my stomach hurt. And I am not even a mom.

 

But I get why most Americans think like this... it's the old "if you can't work, and pull yourself by your bootstraps" - you don't deserve to live... or have an income... or health insurance. Or food. Or a roof over your head. UGH.

 

I am probably in the wrong country, as I believe in social democracy - where you have a safety net if you're a parent, or in difficulties. I'd be totally fine with income redistribution. Does anyone really think Jeff Bezos (or anyone) needs to have 100 billion in assets while others can't even provide for a child?

 

Yea but the lack of compassion comes from people other than moms, have you noticed?

 

And that’s probably a good thing.

[lgspot]

As long as they don't directly affect my workload, I don't care.

 

 

Next time one of them announces "I am going to pick up my kid from school, be back in 65 minutes". I am going to get up and say "right, I really need some new shoes. Better get there before the shop closes :D"

 

Wow--just wow....

Those words/attitude don't strike me as the words of a team player/supervisor.

I'm a guy well past the age of pregnancy---any attitude like that in the workforce is so disappointing!!! :(

I hope you and your shoes will be very happy together.

[Mrs._December]

Everyone is coming down on the OP for being a soul sucking she-devil and acting as though she's the antithesis to decent women everywhere, but no one's mentioning the fact that the OP clearly stated the pregnant woman HID her pregnancy in order to get the job.

 

This has nothing to do with all the tear-filled exclamations of, "it takes a village to raise a child!" and everything to do with the fact that this woman pulled a sneaky, self-serving trick on her employer and she should be fired for her blatant deceit.

 

And yes, I'm a mother who worked, but that doesn't mean I have to be a bleeding heart and can't see the other side of things and the truth is, those who don't have kids DO get stuck with a lot of the slack left from absent parents in the workplace.

 

Lastly, I worked in HR/Recruitment for many years and you wouldn't believe how we discriminated even though all our recruitment ads claimed we were an EOE. LOL. Like hell. And if someone was pregnant, the chances of them getting the job were just about zero. Sorry folks, just telling you like it is for some companies in the real world.

[littleblackheart]

^^ Yes, we all knew already, that's already been mentioned upthread...

 

Maybe it's why the woman in the OP hid her pregnancy in the first place?

 

It's not about being a 'bleeding heart' (I'm not even sure what that means anyway), it's more about seeing the bigger picture and getting those backwards, reactionary attitudes to change.