nospam99 Posted October 15, 2018 Share Posted October 15, 2018 LOL! A lot of people like the olive garden. If they didn't the chain would close down. Like any restaurant, the food will vary with the chef. Same applies to a chain. I LOVED Olive Garden, love garlic bread and good tomato sauce. But I've only been to the one in my community and it's been years, probably at least since 2005, just before my ex-wife and I separated. Link to post Share on other sites
littleblackheart Posted October 15, 2018 Share Posted October 15, 2018 No, that makes absolutely zero sense. Some like expensive and materialistic while others have different priorities, that’s all there is. There is nothing wrong with liking expensive, materialistic things. Some have that AND have perfectly healthy priorities too. I personally don't care for materialistic things but will not think to judge someone who does. I'm not better than them, they're not better than me. OP's lady likes fine dining? Good for her. Let her find a guy that likes that too, even on a first meet with a total stranger. OP likes to plan activities? Good for him. Let him find someone who thinks bowling on a first date is a good idea. They are not a good fit. That's it. To me personally, the idea that spending time and thought deciding where you eat or what you do on a first meet with a complete stranger you may only see once in your life is more important than actually getting to know them does not entirely make sense, but I guess that's why I'm not cut out for going on dates with people I don't know. Link to post Share on other sites
rightondude Posted October 15, 2018 Share Posted October 15, 2018 my take: I am in the "game" of dating to win. There is so much competition out there, you have to give it your all (as you should strive to do in all aspects of life). Since my time to make an impression is limited and since there are 1000's of other men who want my spot with a woman who's agreed to give me a shot (and I am very picky about who I choose), I'd better do all I can to give myself the best odds. Since I am not Chris Hemsworth or some mountain climbing, Ted talking, Cassanova, I have to make do with what I can. One thing I damn sure can do is propose some place nice and interesting to have dinner. Doesn't have to be the most expensive place (but it usually is up there) but it better be interesting and good. I usually throw out 2-3 nicer options to gauge interest and if she says "I love so and so!" then that's where we're going. Give yourself the best odds and do what you can to separate yourself from the competition. That includes going all out on the first date. It is or can be worth the investment. If it's a crappy date at least you'll probably get a good story out of it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
brigit87 Posted October 15, 2018 Share Posted October 15, 2018 my take: I am in the "game" of dating to win. There is so much competition out there, you have to give it your all (as you should strive to do in all aspects of life). Since my time to make an impression is limited and since there are 1000's of other men who want my spot with a woman who's agreed to give me a shot (and I am very picky about who I choose), I'd better do all I can to give myself the best odds. Since I am not Chris Hemsworth or some mountain climbing, Ted talking, Cassanova, I have to make do with what I can. One thing I damn sure can do is propose some place nice and interesting to have dinner. Doesn't have to be the most expensive place (but it usually is up there) but it better be interesting and good. I usually throw out 2-3 nicer options to gauge interest and if she says "I love so and so!" then that's where we're going. Give yourself the best odds and do what you can to separate yourself from the competition. That includes going all out on the first date. It is or can be worth the investment. If it's a crappy date at least you'll probably get a good story out of it. Makes sense and women probably respond to you favorably. Just like when I was dating I made sure to look great. I knew I was being judged on appearance. I did my hair and makeup and wore sexy clothes. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted October 15, 2018 Share Posted October 15, 2018 Let me shamefully admit that I do have cute tastes for (certain) things. If a man suggested taking out on a date at Olive Garden, I would definitely not insult him by saying it’s the worst place or he’s not creative. I’ll probably suggest a cute place with comparable price range, and may conclude we don’t have the same tastes. For Starbucks, there can be quite a bit of variation. I thought it’s nice to meet in one attached to a bookstore: You can browse through the different sections and share about your interests. Huh? Let's consider the millionaire entrepreneur. He finds a beautiful woman, asked her out, wine and dines her... But, he has an ego the size of his bank account, he is entitled, and cheating on his wife. By your standards, because he has taken her to a nice restaurant he will be a good provider - worthy partner and good father. I don't think so... There are so many other things to consider when assessing if a man will be a good partner and a good father - a good provider. What about work ethic, honesty, integrity, compassion, and generosity to name but a few... My boyfriend, God help him, loves the soup, salad, and breadsticks at the Olive Garden. I've been to Italy twice, everytime he asks me to go for lunch at the Olive Garden I have try not to roll my eyes... But, he is a wonderful partner and an amazing father. I don't particularly like fine dining - he is usually the one who suggests we go for a really nice meal. But - he also likes the Olive Garden. His choice of restaurant is no reflection of his ability to provide for his family... Link to post Share on other sites
Highndry Posted October 15, 2018 Share Posted October 15, 2018 Everyone has certain standards. I'm no gold-digger, but any guy who lacks the imagination or seriousness to invite me to something more interesting than Starbucks is of zero interest to me. And if he invites me to some blah chain place like Olive Garden, I'd rather take a nap. You see, I have a completely different opinion on this. When I am first meeting a woman, the place has nothing to do with it. I want a quick face to face hello to see if there's anything there. It doesn't even take me a minute to know if I am attracted to a woman and there's a possibility. That's why a Starbucks or any quick place will do. It's not about the venue, it's about getting the first meeting out of the way. Link to post Share on other sites
brigit87 Posted October 15, 2018 Share Posted October 15, 2018 Let me shamefully admit that I do have cute tastes for (certain) things. If a man suggested taking out on a date at Olive Garden, I would definitely not insult him by saying it’s the worst place or he’s not creative. I’ll probably suggest a cute place with comparable price range, and may conclude we don’t have the same tastes. For Starbucks, there can be quite a bit of variation. I thought it’s nice to meet in one attached to a bookstore: You can browse through the different sections and share about your interests. Truth is first date is a test for both. He's testing her she's testing him. Everyone is nervous. So, if you have your first "fight" before you go on the date. Awesome! Not a match. You don't even have to suffer through a bad date to cross that one off the list. Link to post Share on other sites
Author max3732 Posted October 15, 2018 Author Share Posted October 15, 2018 my take: I am in the "game" of dating to win. There is so much competition out there, you have to give it your all (as you should strive to do in all aspects of life). Since my time to make an impression is limited and since there are 1000's of other men who want my spot with a woman who's agreed to give me a shot (and I am very picky about who I choose), I'd better do all I can to give myself the best odds. Since I am not Chris Hemsworth or some mountain climbing, Ted talking, Cassanova, I have to make do with what I can. One thing I damn sure can do is propose some place nice and interesting to have dinner. Doesn't have to be the most expensive place (but it usually is up there) but it better be interesting and good. I usually throw out 2-3 nicer options to gauge interest and if she says "I love so and so!" then that's where we're going. Give yourself the best odds and do what you can to separate yourself from the competition. That includes going all out on the first date. It is or can be worth the investment. If it's a crappy date at least you'll probably get a good story out of it. I agree I should put my best foot forward and of course make sure I have my hair combed and wear clothes that looks good and also wash and clean my car. That being said should I go out and buy the most expensive Rolls Royce on the market to show her I'm financially stable? Should I be the most expensive Rolex I can find and make it a point to show her how expensive it is and also wear only expensive clothes? Doing those things would certainly make me stand out. Even though I can afford these things I think it would attract a woman only interested in me for my bank account and not for who I am. Both places I suggested are interesting and good. Neither one was a chain and both have interesting stories and plenty of things to talk about. As some others have said if I matched with someone that wanted to meet at a park and have food from a vending machine I'd be happy with that since I'm after learning about the person and not the food. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted October 15, 2018 Share Posted October 15, 2018 I agree I should put my best foot forward and of course make sure I have my hair combed and wear clothes that looks good and also wash and clean my car. That being said should I go out and buy the most expensive Rolls Royce on the market to show her I'm financially stable? Should I be the most expensive Rolex I can find and make it a point to show her how expensive it is and also wear only expensive clothes? Doing those things would certainly make me stand out. Even though I can afford these things I think it would attract a woman only interested in me for my bank account and not for who I am. Both places I suggested are interesting and good. Neither one was a chain and both have interesting stories and plenty of things to talk about. As some others have said if I matched with someone that wanted to meet at a park and have food from a vending machine I'd be happy with that since I'm after learning about the person and not the food. For me, having a walk in a park and grabbing food from a truck is actually much better than having a meal in a chain restaurant. Visiting a farmers market and grabbing food there is another nice idea, imo. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 15, 2018 Share Posted October 15, 2018 I LOVED Olive Garden,... cookie-cutter Italian food Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted October 15, 2018 Share Posted October 15, 2018 Who's to say? She may not have liked the way you wrote a text through Bumble, she may have been bored, she may have been trying to get over someone else, etc. But whatever the case may be it wasn't meant to be so just move on. Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted October 16, 2018 Share Posted October 16, 2018 Be thankful you didn't have to sit through an awkward and hostile date over fine food. I don't recall ever holding the first date venue against someone. I don't think it's too difficult if your date is well adjusted. Meet, talk, good manner and hygiene. Done. If the attraction and connection is there its there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SouthernIslander Posted October 16, 2018 Share Posted October 16, 2018 I would give this ZERO headspace. I agree with Bailey. That’s not someone you have feelings for past a few dates or are in a relationship with. Ridiculous thing to ask someone you don’t know or met in person. Link to post Share on other sites
IntBrowser Posted October 16, 2018 Share Posted October 16, 2018 I'd briefly referenced this match in another post, but this is a different woman and issue so it deserves its own post. I matched with someone on Bumble and didn't hear from her for a while, then get a message a few weeks ago. We did the usual small talk and when she asked what I was up to I told her I'd gone to this nice restaurant. A week later after some more talking she then invited me to an expensive restaurant on Friday night but I told her I already had plans. She mentioned she enjoys bowling so I invited her to go and she told me she's never met me so didn't feel comfortable going there, but that she wanted to go to dinner in a certain neighborhood. I again asked if she'd rather do something more active during the weekend or meet up for lunch, but she said she could only do dinner during the week. So I suggested a reasonably priced place, nicer than a casual place like Fridays but not super high end either. Her response was that it was the worst place in the area. That kind of shocked me and I responded something like "you're certainly opinionated. How about going to X instead?" That was another somewhat reasonably priced place, but actually a bit more than the original place. A few days later I checked and she blocked me. Did I do anything wrong or was she just after a free meal? I've just not had much success with dating and am trying to improve. No you didn't it just wasn't a match and from the way she was talking I would have blocked her first. Link to post Share on other sites
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