Stupidkupid Posted May 7, 2021 Share Posted May 7, 2021 8 hours ago, FMW said: I thought I would add a footnote to the story that was the reason for me starting to post here on LoveShack a few years ago. The man at the center of the story died yesterday morning, a few months short of the 5 year maximum survival expectancy he was given. Although I haven't seen him in more than a year, I'm still part of the same musical community and we had mutual friends and acquaintances. A good friend let me know a few hours after he had passed. I really did love him so I was happy to hear that he died peacefully at home as had been his wish, and his wife was there with him at the end. I'm not sure what happened to the other woman that "replaced" me. Something for others in similar situations to take note of. I rarely comment on this part of the forum now, but I wanted to add this postscript. I closed the door on him a few years ago. But his death brings a different kind of finality, I guess like all deaths. Maybe this will have an impact on someone else currently holding on to mere scraps. There are few happy endings, for anyone involved in something like this. I'm very fortunate that I finally let go and moved on, and the relationship I'm in now is as different as night and day and a true blessing. I'm sorry for the news. Grief is a weird thing so don't give yourself a hard time if you're sad. Does your current partner know about him? I feel like its okay to be sad. And you should feel that you can be. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Starswillshine Posted May 7, 2021 Share Posted May 7, 2021 8 hours ago, FMW said: I thought I would add a footnote to the story that was the reason for me starting to post here on LoveShack a few years ago. The man at the center of the story died yesterday morning, a few months short of the 5 year maximum survival expectancy he was given. Although I haven't seen him in more than a year, I'm still part of the same musical community and we had mutual friends and acquaintances. A good friend let me know a few hours after he had passed. I really did love him so I was happy to hear that he died peacefully at home as had been his wish, and his wife was there with him at the end. I'm not sure what happened to the other woman that "replaced" me. Something for others in similar situations to take note of. I rarely comment on this part of the forum now, but I wanted to add this postscript. I closed the door on him a few years ago. But his death brings a different kind of finality, I guess like all deaths. Maybe this will have an impact on someone else currently holding on to mere scraps. There are few happy endings, for anyone involved in something like this. I'm very fortunate that I finally let go and moved on, and the relationship I'm in now is as different as night and day and a true blessing. Just want to send you some virtual hugs. I am so sorry. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author FMW Posted May 7, 2021 Author Share Posted May 7, 2021 Thank you both, @Stupidkupidand @StarswillshineI was sad and it hit me kind of hard for a few hours, but I had known the news would come at some point. When I have loved someone my heart never grows cold for them no matter how things ended, so my sadness was to be expected. He really was in the past for me, the only difference now is that I will never run into him again by chance. The guy I'm involved with now knows I had a relationship with a man who was still married, but not specifically who it was. I didn't want to get too far along with him without knowing whether or not it would be a deal breaker for him. We talked briefly about it, it's never come up again and doesn't seem to be an issue. As I said, I was fortunate to move on and leave that experience behind. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Stupidkupid Posted May 7, 2021 Share Posted May 7, 2021 50 minutes ago, FMW said: Thank you both, @Stupidkupidand @StarswillshineI was sad and it hit me kind of hard for a few hours, but I had known the news would come at some point. When I have loved someone my heart never grows cold for them no matter how things ended, so my sadness was to be expected. He really was in the past for me, the only difference now is that I will never run into him again by chance. The guy I'm involved with now knows I had a relationship with a man who was still married, but not specifically who it was. I didn't want to get too far along with him without knowing whether or not it would be a deal breaker for him. We talked briefly about it, it's never come up again and doesn't seem to be an issue. As I said, I was fortunate to move on and leave that experience behind. I'm really pleased you have someone in your life who is honest with you, as it should be. I dated after I ended things with my MM and met some lovely, kind and understanding men. I think past cheating/ being an OW is less of a deal breaker where there is transparency and remorse. People are often more understanding than we might give them credit for and certainly more than the internet would have us believe. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Snakesalive Posted May 8, 2021 Share Posted May 8, 2021 (edited) On 5/7/2021 at 12:29 PM, FMW said: Thank you both, @Stupidkupidand @StarswillshineI was sad and it hit me kind of hard for a few hours, but I had known the news would come at some point. When I have loved someone my heart never grows cold for them no matter how things ended, so my sadness was to be expected. He really was in the past for me, the only difference now is that I will never run into him again by chance. The guy I'm involved with now knows I had a relationship with a man who was still married, but not specifically who it was. I didn't want to get too far along with him without knowing whether or not it would be a deal breaker for him. We talked briefly about it, it's never come up again and doesn't seem to be an issue. As I said, I was fortunate to move on and leave that experience behind. On 5/7/2021 at 1:20 PM, Stupidkupid said: When I have loved someone my heart never grows cold for them no matter how things ended, I just wanted to add my Thanks for posting your update . There’s a kind of calmness about the OP and the situation I guess that only comes with time . It’s a reminder though of the impact these relationships have on our lives . I am pleased you have been able to move on and are thriving in your life and relationship Edited May 8, 2021 by Snakesalive 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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