Author Hockey52 Posted January 1, 2018 Author Share Posted January 1, 2018 OK, well with this new information, I think she might be using her life situation as an excuse and actually has just started to lose feelings for you, despite her declarations of love. I really hope not it didn’t look like that. I don’t want to think the worst but possibly she has done something unfaithful and now the guilt is setting in.. I don’t want to think that at all but just trying to make sense.. but I really hope she messages me tomorrow or something.. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 No I’m sorry it’s been 5 months that may have been my Ex before... she wasn’t LD. Only reason why I did it this time is because we when saw each other on vacation and the way we clicked I decided to do it.. now I love her more than anything... I honestly can’t bare a day without communication with her... i hope she comes around to her senses... These are not the words of someone who has been understanding of her situation. I'm curious if you've ever had a LDR before, and just out of total nosiness, where were you on vacation when you met? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hockey52 Posted January 1, 2018 Author Share Posted January 1, 2018 These are not the words of someone who has been understanding of her situation. I'm curious if you've ever had a LDR before, and just out of total nosiness, where were you on vacation when you met? No I haven’t I had no intention of a LDR until I met her on vacation. Everything was going great she came here in October met my family and friends and I was going to meet her family and friends in February obviously I guess not as what it seems like now and she was supposed to be here for Christmas she had the ticket and gifts and everything ready to go then she was battling herself with a decision to stay back and support her family because they didn’t know if her grandmother would get through Christmas with terminal cancer. I understood but it was very late notice 2 days before.. well even if they aren’t words of understanding I told her I can’t think and bare a day without you... I don’t know how that’s bad but it’s expressing how much I care and love her... Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 I told her I can’t think and bare a day without you... I don’t know how that’s bad but it’s expressing how much I care and love her... It's smothering. That's how it's bad. Especially in a newish relationship. How much time, total, have the two of you actually spent in each other's physical presence since you met? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hockey52 Posted January 1, 2018 Author Share Posted January 1, 2018 It's smothering. That's how it's bad. Especially in a newish relationship. How much time, total, have the two of you actually spent in each other's physical presence since you met? I know maybe my mistake but I told her I’m sorry about that and there needs to be understanding and compromise in a relationship.. and about a month in person ish. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hockey52 Posted January 1, 2018 Author Share Posted January 1, 2018 It's smothering. That's how it's bad. Especially in a newish relationship. How much time, total, have the two of you actually spent in each other's physical presence since you met? What do you recommend for me to get any chance for her to be back.. just no contact..? Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 I know maybe my mistake but I told her I’m sorry about that and there needs to be understanding and compromise in a relationship.. and about a month in person ish. So you basically told her she's not allowed to hold that against you or have an opinion about it? Is that what "compromise" means to you? Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 What do you recommend for me to get any chance for her to be back.. just no contact..? Yes, absolutely no contact. Maybe in a month you can message to ask her how her grandmother is doing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hockey52 Posted January 1, 2018 Author Share Posted January 1, 2018 Yes, absolutely no contact. Maybe in a month you can message to ask her how her grandmother is doing. No I never told her that. I said we need to get through this together and I’m always here for you anything you need.. and okay I hope she contacts me this week because I honestly feel lost without her.. I really do. She means absolutely everything to me...... Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 No I never told her that. I said we need to get through this together and I’m always here for you anything you need.. and okay I hope she contacts me this week because I honestly feel lost without her.. I really do. She means absolutely everything to me...... Hockey, how old are you two? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hockey52 Posted January 1, 2018 Author Share Posted January 1, 2018 Hockey, how old are you two? We’re both 22. But she has told me before I only want you and you only I know it sounds crazy but she kept bringing up how it Makes her happy that we will have a family together later on etc.. and how she was saying I can’t beleive I’m only going to be in the here for another 1-2 years till I come with you etc.. all these promises and dedication all fell through for what .. I don’t know what’s gotten into her this past month and a bit but besides my frustration which I shoiodnif been less overbearing I told her I’m sorry and I guess it didn’t help.. i just want her back or I want to go see her but at this point I don’t know anymore. I have a flight for February 21 booked already I don’t know what to do with it now because this happened and probably not going to happen.. we just had some many nice plans and future and for her to throw it all away like this breaks my heart.... I know People say it but I mean it I’m very caring and understanding person and will go above and beyond for people I love.. I’m too nice maybe but I need her back.... not trying to act desperate because I can be with other girls but my heart and mind is set on her.... Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 We’re both 22. But she has told me before I only want you and you only I know it sounds crazy but she kept bringing up how it Makes her happy that we will have a family together later on etc.. and how she was saying I can’t beleive I’m only going to be in the here for another 1-2 years till I come with you etc.. all these promises and dedication all fell through for what .. I don’t know what’s gotten into her this past month and a bit but besides my frustration which I shoiodnif been less overbearing I told her I’m sorry and I guess it didn’t help.. i just want her back or I want to go see her but at this point I don’t know anymore. I have a flight for February 21 booked already I don’t know what to do with it now because this happened and probably not going to happen.. we just had some many nice plans and future and for her to throw it all away like this breaks my heart.... I know People say it but I mean it I’m very caring and understanding person and will go above and beyond for people I love.. I’m too nice maybe but I need her back.... not trying to act desperate because I can be with other girls but my heart and mind is set on her.... OK, first, just because she said all those things to you doesn't mean that she is obligated to feel that way for the rest of her life. Your relationship was not long term. These things happen in relationships. It doesn't mean she didn't mean it when she said it, but people have the right to change their minds all the time, and her mind might have changed even though yours did not. Second, how in the world can two 22 year olds financially afford all of these cross-continent flights?? I can barely figure out how I'm going to afford a plane ticket to Wyoming in July! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
rkc2 Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 I’m honestly in no place to give advice but your posts reek of desperation and I assume the same applies when you interact with her as well. Neediness will sabotage any relationship. The only way to get her back is to lay low and let her come to you. For now, focus on yourself and don’t pay any attention to her. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
bachdude Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 We’re both 22. But she has told me before I only want you and you only I know it sounds crazy but she kept bringing up how it Makes her happy that we will have a family together later on etc.. and how she was saying I can’t beleive I’m only going to be in the here for another 1-2 years till I come with you etc.. all these promises and dedication all fell through for what .. I don’t know what’s gotten into her this past month and a bit but besides my frustration which I shoiodnif been less overbearing I told her I’m sorry and I guess it didn’t help.. i just want her back or I want to go see her but at this point I don’t know anymore. I have a flight for February 21 booked already I don’t know what to do with it now because this happened and probably not going to happen.. we just had some many nice plans and future and for her to throw it all away like this breaks my heart.... I know People say it but I mean it I’m very caring and understanding person and will go above and beyond for people I love.. I’m too nice maybe but I need her back.... not trying to act desperate because I can be with other girls but my heart and mind is set on her.... OP, you are beside yourself here. You really need to get a hold of yourself. I’ve been broken hearted too, like most of us here, so I know the desperate feelings that go along with it but you have got to find a way to stop obsessing about her. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hockey52 Posted January 1, 2018 Author Share Posted January 1, 2018 OK, first, just because she said all those things to you doesn't mean that she is obligated to feel that way for the rest of her life. Your relationship was not long term. These things happen in relationships. It doesn't mean she didn't mean it when she said it, but people have the right to change their minds all the time, and her mind might have changed even though yours did not. Second, how in the world can two 22 year olds financially afford all of these cross-continent flights?? I can barely figure out how I'm going to afford a plane ticket to Wyoming in July! It was long term that’s what we wanted all she said how much she loves me and how she just wants to make me happy and I me too and then ever since after her birthday things started to move south.. and well I hope she comes back soon because silence today is killing me especially not even wishing happy new year.. and well there not too much 400-500 a trip since she stays at my house I offer and when I go here I would stay at her house etc.. we would make it work then now a 360...... I don’t get it but her words sounds serious that I won’t be with her now..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hockey52 Posted January 1, 2018 Author Share Posted January 1, 2018 I’m honestly in no place to give advice but your posts reek of desperation and I assume the same applies when you interact with her as well. Neediness will sabotage any relationship. The only way to get her back is to lay low and let her come to you. For now, focus on yourself and don’t pay any attention to her. I am laying low and trying to focus on myself but I want her and her only it’s killing me?..... my gut tells me she will contact me soon again. Even though her words sounded serious but I feel that’s just emotion... Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 It was long term that’s what we wanted all she said how much she loves me and how she just wants to make me happy and I me too and then ever since after her birthday things started to move south.. and well I hope she comes back soon because silence today is killing me especially not even wishing happy new year.. and well there not too much 400-500 a trip since she stays at my house I offer and when I go here I would stay at her house etc.. we would make it work then now a 360...... I don’t get it but her words sounds serious that I won’t be with her now..... Well, yes, you talked about long term, but you really haven't dated her for very long in the grand scheme of things. Relationship breakups hurt badly. We get it, and have ALL been there.....most of us many times. I'm sorry you're going through it . I know it doesn't feel like it now, but life does go on, believe me. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hockey52 Posted January 1, 2018 Author Share Posted January 1, 2018 Well, yes, you talked about long term, but you really haven't dated her for very long in the grand scheme of things. Relationship breakups hurt badly. We get it, and have ALL been there.....most of us many times. I'm sorry you're going through it . I know it doesn't feel like it now, but life does go on, believe me. I know life goes on and it hurts but I don’t want to sound desperate but it’s honestly lonely and feel my half is gone.. for a reason that could be fixed. I don’t know why she got triggered like that and I really did try everything she knows it and she is probably thinking about me today I just feel down especially no happy New Years either. I really pray she realizes what she’s lost and comes back to me. I know it’s not the end of the world but I know we need each other and she is just in a cloudy and sad state right now for many reasons and unfortunately it was expressed on me.... Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 (edited) I know life goes on and it hurts but I don’t want to sound desperate but it’s honestly lonely and feel my half is gone.. for a reason that could be fixed. I don’t know why she got triggered like that and I really did try everything she knows it and she is probably thinking about me today I just feel down especially no happy New Years either. I really pray she realizes what she’s lost and comes back to me. I know it’s not the end of the world but I know we need each other and she is just in a cloudy and sad state right now for many reasons and unfortunately it was expressed on me.... One of your first steps is going to have to be letting go of your insistence on the idea that you know what is best for her. Edited January 1, 2018 by CautiouslyOptimistic 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hockey52 Posted January 1, 2018 Author Share Posted January 1, 2018 One of your first steps is going to have to be letting go of your insistence on the idea that you know what is best for her. Yeah I know.. I just saw a picture with one of her friends I guess she did something for New Year’s Day with her 5 girlfriends and these 3 guys... ugh maybe it is over.. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 Yeah I know.. I just saw a picture with one of her friends I guess she did something for New Year’s Day with her 5 girlfriends and these 3 guys... ugh maybe it is over.. I'm sorry. I'm sure that was really hard to see . Eventually you will need to cut that cord so you don't drive yourself mad. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hockey52 Posted January 1, 2018 Author Share Posted January 1, 2018 I'm sorry. I'm sure that was really hard to see . Eventually you will need to cut that cord so you don't drive yourself mad. Yeah it was very hard I got a sick feeling in my stomach but I never know anything she could just be going out for the New Year’s Day with her school friends but it’s probably 100% over she probably won’t message me...... Link to post Share on other sites
bachdude Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 Yeah it was very hard I got a sick feeling in my stomach but I never know anything she could just be going out for the New Year’s Day with her school friends but it’s probably 100% over she probably won’t message me...... Sorry, OP. But I have to say, seeing the photos seems to have snapped you out of it some. OP, are there any friends around that you can hang out with tomorrow, just to take your mind off of everything? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hockey52 Posted January 2, 2018 Author Share Posted January 2, 2018 Sorry, OP. But I have to say, seeing the photos seems to have snapped you out of it some. OP, are there any friends around that you can hang out with tomorrow, just to take your mind off of everything? Yes but I know those friends in the picture but a picture can’t tell much... I just want her back I don’t know even know how this happened.... I hope I hear from her this week.... Link to post Share on other sites
rkc2 Posted January 2, 2018 Share Posted January 2, 2018 Yes but I know those friends in the picture but a picture can’t tell much... I just want her back I don’t know even know how this happened.... I hope I hear from her this week.... If I were you, I would use this time to get over her. Simple as that. If she does come back in say a week? What’s stopping her from pulling this stunt all over again. You gonna keep rewarding bad behavior? Let her cause all this emotional turmoil in your life all over again? Don’t let her think she can call it quits and then just come back into your life. You’re the man. You have options. She’s not the one for you. If she was, you wouldn’t be here posting this right now. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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